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They weren’t the same, she reminded herself again again, quoting those all too fresh words. The ones that simply shattered her inside and out.
On any other day Lacey would’ve enjoyed seeing Maisey waiting down the street for their little walk home after school, and that would’ve been the case had her blissful ignorance not dissipated at the sight of Maisey’s face.
Those oh so gorgeous curls lay limp and wet in the pouring rain that, Lacey had somehow failed to notice, and Maisey..oh Maisey what a sight for sore eyes. She sat head in her palms against the weathed stop sign they’d passed countless times together, hand in hand.
“Maisey..”
She’d managed to breathe out, her own voice sounding foreign to her as it drifted uncertainly through the pouring frenzy.
“..Maisey?”
Lacey called again, the guy feeling of something horribly wrong settling hollowly in her stomach. The silence somehow seemed decibles louder than the pounding droplets as Lacey made her way over, clenching the straps of her bag.
“Lacey”
Maisey choked out as she lifted her head.
That one look- that defeated expression gaurded by fear- was enough.
“Th-they know. Everyone knows Lacey..it’s..they know.”
Everything seemed to fall still around the two, as Maisey curled herself up tighter and continued her heart wrenching g sobs, leaving Lacey with nothing to do but helplessly watch.
“H-how.”
She managed, barely getting the word out around the lump in her throat.
“I don’t know, but they know.”
Maisey sobbed, making no effort to stand or even look Lacey in the eyes.
“We-can we fix it..?
It could be some misunderstanding for all we know, right?”
“Lacey”
Her name came out in a bitter laugh and Lacey couldn’t help but falter.
“I-I’m just saying that this isn’t..over”
Each syllable seemed to carry the weight of their situation. The one that crossed both their minds so frequently but was never mentioned aloud for fear of manifesting it.
Lacey slumped to her knees on the wet asphalt, ignoring the sting it brought as her knees made contact through the rips in her drenched denim. She did all she could think to do: Lacey simply placed her hand atop Maisey’s, which lay cold at her side as she wept silently.
“Screw it.”
“…what?”
Maisey’s head finally lifted at that.
“I said screw it! This isn’t the end all be all, so what some people know? I couldn’t care less what they have to say about it!”
For only a moment a soft smile appeared on Maisey’s lips, one that seems to brighten her whole face before it vanished just as quickly as a cloud passing over the sun.
“You can’t really be serious.”
Lacey was so taken aback she could only stutter in response to the tone Maisey had taken on, cold and sarcastic, nothing like the girl she’d fallen for.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
Lacey was pleading at this point. Silently begging to whatever higher power might’ve been listening.
“Maze..what are you- it’ll be fine! I can fix this I can- I’ll make it work!”
The words tumbled out before Lacey had time to be rational, she crouched down in front of her love, tucking her wet hair behind her ear.
“Please.”
Lacey searched those familiar eyes. now looking into their unforgiving depths as thought they were a stranger’s.
“Please, please, Maze, please.”
Lacey cupped Maisey’s face in her hands willing her to keep hope.
“We can-“
Lacey’s mind raced, grasping for anything to stall the inevitable.
“We can run away!
She didn’t even know what she was saying anymore, and the tears were beginning to well.
“We’ll go where no one will find us and start again, I’ll go pack my things and we can be gone in an hour!”
Maisey’s cold hands reached to her face. She gently pulled away Lacey’s as she shook her head.
“Lace..you and I both know I- we can’t do that..”
“But why?! I don’t understand why you’re not willing to fight for this- to fight for…us.”
Lacey could hardly keep her voice steady as Maisey rose to her feet.
“I’ll make it work Maze! You won’t have to worry about a thing. Please. Let me fight for us.”
Maisey averted her gaze as she collected her soaking bag.
“Can’t do that, babe.”
Lacey clutched her chest tightly as though she’d been ran through. Maisey reached out to her, but retracted her hand as quickly as she’d lifted it.
“Please. Maisey please.”
Lacey doubled over at the sheer thought of what was coming, she couldn’t even register the cold or her own sopping form. her face burned as tears fell upon the concrete below, instantly blending into the thousands of rain droplets.
“I’m sorry, Lace.”
“If you’re sorry then do something! Anything please I’m begging!”
She hadn’t meant to shout but every shred of Lacey’s rationality had already dissolved.
“I can’t!”
Maisey snapped, instantly regretting it. Lacey watched from the ground as Maisey paced in front of her in the rain. Maysie flailed her arms in exasperation, her own face reflecting Lacey’s utter sorrow.
“I-I can’t Lacey. God I love you but I’m not like you! I can’t just come back from that!”
Lacey shuddered but she couldn’t tell if it was the frigid rain or her blood running cold.
“Lace, I’m- I just can’t.”
Lacey simply watched her pace in anguish as Maisey clutched her necklace. The he one with the little gold cross on it.
“I don’t- Lacey.”
She stopped abruptly, staring at Lacey as though looking straight through her, with a look of horror that made Lacey’s hair stand on end.
“How am I gonna go home? How will I ever show my face at school?! At the church?!”
Maisey stumbled to lean against the road sign’s pole for stability, her breathing turned ragged and unsteady as the rain thundered down.
Lacey got to her feet on shaking legs and held her steady.
“Run away with me Maysie. We can be together and no one will say otherwise. Me and you, against it all.”
Maisey took a step back as though Lacey had struck her.
“You-you’re serious..”
“Maisey. You can’t tell me you’re happy like this. The secrets and lies? This shit town and all its boring people? No one here’s got dreams-not like you.”
“Lacey, we can’t-“
“But you want to.”
Lacey took an adamant step forward and Maisey shied away.
“You want it so bad that it’s eating you up inside, I see it. I see how you yearn for more. Not just a purpose, but fulfillment.
“Stop it, Lacey.”
Another step. This time Maisey’s feet stayed planted, her eyes fixisted on her partner.
“You’re not meant for this, you know it and so do I- even if you don’t admit it,
. Even if you do stay here and graduate, even if you get a shitty job that keeps you stable and a husband who’s got everything you should want.
“I-“
“You’ll always want more. You can settle down and tuck those dreams away but that ‘what if’ that keeps you up at night will always be there. Lacey grabbed hold of Maysies hand.
“It’s not true.”
Maysie looked away, shaking her head as though she couldn’t bare the sight of Lacey.
“Say it.”
Lacey pressed, taking hold of Maysie’s other hand and held them both as the rain soaked the two thoroughly.
“Tell me right now that I’m wrong.”
Maysie tried to turn away, but Lacey wasn’t giving up on her. She pulled her back into the deepest hug, their hearts pounding in tandem with the rain as it beat down on them.
“I love you, Maysie.”
Maysie’s breath hitched as she pulled away, staring fondly into the eyes of the one who’d stolen her heart all those summers ago.
“Lacey. I..”
A pang of hurt rippled down to Lacey’s stomach as she pulled her close once more.
“Y-you don’t have to say it back Maze.”
Maysie tightened the hug and Lacey couldn’t help but melt.
“I love you too Lacey.”
They stayed like that for a while simply embracing one another as their worlds blew up around them, with nothing but one another to tether themselves to reality.
“I love you so much, Lacey. So much so, that I won’t let you throw everything away for this.”
“Please don’t do this.”
Lacey subconsciously tightened her grip, allowing her fingers to ever so slightly dig in as she sobbed. A sharp pain overtook her whole being in a flash.
“This- us- you..you are my everything Maysie.”
Maysie brought her hand up to caress her lovers drenched hair.
“I know. But-“
She took a deep shuddering breath, as though gathering up all her courage, all her love, all her sorrow and anger.
“But..but I-“
Maysie’s voice died out as thought she couldn’t physically take it.
“But you can’t be my everything.”
The floor seemed to simply disappear from under Lacey. She let go and allowed her arms to fall limp at her sides, and for the first time, she truly did feel the cold of the rain baring down on her.
“Lacey…”
“You don’t mean that. You can’t mean that Maysie! Listen to what you’re saying..! I love you and you love me, can’t that be enough?!”
Lacey stumbled backward, losing her balance and hold on sanity, as she decended to the ground before being grabbed by the shoulder.
“Lacey!”
She shrugged off Maysies hold without a second look, her fists clenching at her sides as the rain soaked her to her very core. Finally dousing her ember of hope.
“Why can’t it be enough for you.”
The words came out bitter and steely and Lacey almost wanted to take them back, she felt sick and couldn’t breathe. Maysie stared at her silently, clutching her cross, and looking small as Lacey took in the clothes plastered to her body as well as her hair.
“So that’s it? You and me-are we…”
Lacey found herself clutching her stomach once again. Now she really felt sick. She couldn’t even manage to finish the sentence. Maysie watched helplessly struggling for words herself.
“I- I really do love you, Lacey.”
She reached out a hand looking up at Lacey with pleading eyes as though asking for something, except she couldn’t quite place what.
“I know. But you’ve made your choice.”
Lacey could barely make out Maisey’s expression, as the tears came in a new wave and rain collected on her lashes. Maysie inhaled sharply, clutched her bag straps till her knuckles were white, and swiveled on her heel.