Work Text:
A team building exercise.
That’s what the Commander calls it. Or, rather, that’s what he puts on the paperwork that Steve gives the quartermaster on the Citadel when he requisitions one crate of Nerf guns and plenty of foam ammo. It isn’t his job to question the Commander, and he reminds the overly curious quartermaster of that fact by giving him an intense glare before signing for the crate and loading it on the carryall to take on board. He stows it in the back of the Shuttle Bay near enough the armory he can keep an eye on it but out of obvious sight of the rest of the crew.
This is the Normandy. If things are done a little differently here than on other ships in the fleet or Alliance stations, that’s the Commander’s prerogative. After all, the Normandy’s has a certain reputation to uphold.
~
A team building exercise.
Nearly a week passes before distribution. Steve isn’t sure why, but Shepard assigns him the task of handing out the weapons and ammo. There’s a strict procedure to follow as well.
First, everyone signs in with the Commander. He gives them their initial ‘assignment.’ Once they receive it, they bring a form down to him. Why they’re enforcing a paper trail in the middle of a galactic war is anyone’s guess, but Shepard likes to dot the i’s and cross the t’s and Steve isn’t going to argue about it. Arriving at the Armory, Steve then cross-references his checklist – surprisingly exact on what to issue and when – and hands out a Nerf Gun and four soft foam darts to each participant.
He’s confused at first why only four.
“If they can’t hit their target in four shots aboard a ship this small, they deserve to lose,” is Shepard’s response when curiosity can’t keep Steve silent any longer.
So, four shots per person per round in an elimination style tournament format.
That certainly explains why the crate is fit to bursting when he opens it for a quick inventory check prior to distribution.
Of all the participants, Shepard is the first to show up, a wide grin matched only by the mischievous look in his blue eyes. Steve might call it manic but for the anticipation that flickers there. He’s heard a lot about the commander over the years and even more from Vega since their reunion.
Still, Steve trusts Shepard, and if the commander says that ‘team building’ is actually a way for them all to take their mind off the war once in a while, he isn’t going to say anything against it. In fact, Steve is hard put to not agree with him.
He’s the last to receive his ‘assignment’ from Shepard. The commander comes by to ‘distribute’ weapons and ammo to Steve – “So no one can suggest it isn’t fair all around,” the commander assures him. After Shepard leaves, Steve finds a place to hide it where even Vega won’t find it.
~
A team building exercise.
It takes weeks for the list to dwindle down to half. Each round requires another distribution of ammo, and as he allots the last four darts for this round, Steve is pretty certain he knows who all has which targets.
As Steve joins Vega for lunch in the Mess, he has to hide a smile behind a cough at the not so subtle way his friend keeps darting quick looks over at Doctor Chakwas. Steve meet’s the doctor’s gaze briefly, nodding a greeting, and if look on her face is any indication, she is well aware of Vega’s interest and isn’t bothered in the least.
Though she is far more subtle about it, the way she is chats up Adams suggests she has her own target she is setting up.
After a brief stop by the Citadel, Steve makes a trip by Engineering to drop off a piece of e-gel thermal conduit that Adams had requested. Donnelly is the unlucky victim who gets to install it, and as the systems engineer heads off to the maintenance shave, Steve notices a glint in Daniels’ eyes. He feels sorry for the man. It’s clear Donnelly doesn’t have a clue; either he’s blind or too preoccupied with the installation.
On the other hand, he realizes as he exits Engineering a moment later, maybe the man is simply too focused on his own target to notice. The younger man always seems to get flummoxed by the pretty ones. The lift arrives and Steve holds the door for Allers who exits, a slow smile spreading across her face as she heads towards her quarters. As the door closes behind him and Steve presses the button for the Shuttle Bay, he hears Donnelly’s voice fading in the distance.
The next afternoon, as she crosses the Shuttle Bay, Steve wonders if he’s imagining that Tali’Zorah’s steps seem less bouncy than usual and her conversation a little too vague and nonchalant as she and Alenko head towards the lift.
Which is interesting, because as always, Alenko holds the door for her to enter, but it seems as if the Major is just a little too polite as he follows her inside, one hand dropping to fiddle with a pocket on the right side pantleg.
Of course, the only person who really knows everyone’s targets is Shepard, and he’s far too busy dealing with the Quarians admirals at the moment to share. Not that he would. The commander is adamant that this all be played out fair and square.
Still, two days later, Steve nods and smiles at the commander’s greeting as he walks through from the Forward Battery on his way to Liara’s quarters. It occurs to him to wonder if the Shadow Broker has any clue their intrepid leader is coming for her.
~
A team building exercise.
It takes all kinds, as the saying goes, and if Steve needed proof of it, he gets it in a big and most unexpected way.
By the time they get the Normandy is safely docked back on the Citadel and he and Joker are able to join the others in the Shuttle Bay, there is only one thing left to do: decide what to do with Maya Brooks.
Of course, he should have seen it coming from a galaxy away. Maybe two. He just hopes Shepard won’t hold it against him in future. After all, but Steve has served only a third as long as most of these people, so maybe he has an excuse for being ill-prepared for what happens next.
Somehow, Brooks slips free of her restraints, yanks her arm free of his grasp and scrambles off in the direction of the open shuttle bay door from him. There’s no time to protest or make any sound to alert the others.
But he discovers just as quickly, he need not have worried. Shepard, Urdnot Wrex, Tali’zorah, Major Alenko, Dr. T’Soni, Garrus, even Joker, all pull out and aim their Nerf pistols at Brooks and shoot.
The look of pure shock and utter confusion that crosses Brooks’ face is priceless, and oh how Steve wishes he’d had some inkling that this was going to happen! A picture posted to the Mess would have done wonders for crew morale! The woman is so stunned by events that Steve has no trouble re-securing her restraints before Alliance authorities then lead her away.
~
A team building exercise.
He’s alone in the Shuttle Bay when the elevator slides open behind him. It’s late in his shift, and Steve swears this is the last weapon he’ll clean, but he instantly recognizes that particular booted tread moving off the lift. “Good evening, Commander,” he calls out over his shoulder.
The steps coming to an awkward and slightly squeaking halt behind him. “Steve.”
Is it his imagination or is that surprise pitching the man’s voice upward just slightly. Chuckling to himself, Steve allows a slow grin to spread across his face. It’s good to see the commander in good spirits after the fiasco that started their shore leave. “Something I can help you with, sir?”
Shepard moves up to the worktable and rests his hip against it. They spend the next few minutes chatting about the recent events as he finishes up with the pistol he’s been working on. He sets it aside and reaches for the next one. He swears he can still hear Brooks’ protests and confusion echoing through the bay as she’s taken away by Alliance personnel.
“You know why I’m here, don’t you?” Shepard asks.
He’s wondered how long it would take, but Steve’s grin never falters. “Yes, sir, I do.” When the Commander says nothing else, he continues to work on the weapon in front of him as he asks, “Were you expecting me to run?”
Snorting, Shepard’s lips twist into a wry smile. “I don’t know. Vega seemed to think you might.”
“Is that so?” Steve turns to face the man... whose eyes widen as Steve lifts a blue and orange pistol between them.
A soft click-pop fills the air.
Shepard’s eyes widen even further in disbelief.
A lopsided grin tilts across Steve’s face as he sets the pistol back onto the table. Cooly, calmly, he turns back to his duties and reaches for the next weapon in line to be cleaned.
“Where…”
Laughter bubbles up from Steve’s chest, warm and free. He wonders, if only for a moment, if Shepard has ever been caught in this game before. Steve makes a mental note to ask Alenko over dinner. “Sometimes it’s best to hide in plain sight, sir.”
Pausing in his job, Steve crouches down and retrieves the foam dart. As he rises, he flips it once in his hand before handing it over to Shepard. The commander stares at it then plucks it from Steve’s fingers, his head shaking back and forth.
“Team building exercises,” Steve says, unable to stop smiling now. “Can’t say I’ve ever heard that one before. Still, can’t say it hasn’t brought the whole team together, either. I’ve got to hand it to you, Shepard, I doubt anyone would expect that kind of training on board the Normandy.”
Shepard remains silent, simply staring at the foam dart.
Steve nods at the shotgun and assault rifle still lying on the table before him. “I could use a hand, since you’ve got the free time, now. Sir.”
A snort echoes through the bay, followed by soft chuckles as Shepard turns his attention to the table. “Remind me never to try to pull a fast one on you again.”
Again. Steve’s fingers twitch as he pulls the assault rifle over and begins taking it apart. They’ve been dancing around one another for weeks now, and not just for who gets to take the final shot to ‘win’ the game. “Careful there, commander,” he murmurs, “or you’ll have me wondering about your intentions.”
Shepard turns the full power of his charismatic smile onto Steve just as Steve glances over at him. “I was thinking drinks at Afterlife. Maybe some dancing.” Shrugging, he adds, “No wondering to be had.”
The Shuttle Bay is empty but for them, but Steve looks around just to be certain. Gently hip-checking Shepard, he replies, “Looks likes I won more than just your team building exercise. Not exactly what I expected when I got up today.”
Tension Steve hadn’t realized was there bleeds out of Shepard as the commander’s entire body relaxes. “You’ll find I’m full of surprises.”
Steve spares him a knowing grin. “Good thing I like them, isn’t it?”