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Kyoka knew who she was very soon in her life, she always knew she was different. She was both exactly like everybody else and the complete opposite at the same time. The first time she had to put it to words was when she told her parents she wanted to be a hero. She remembers it like it was yesterday. The anxiety made her belly ache the whole day, she couldn't stand the idea of disappointing her parents. In the end she realized they loved her no matter what. Unfortunately, she can't stop her mind from doubting. Every time she has something to tell her classmates, her friends or her parents she feels that good old feeling slip inside her guts again and the spiral starts. This morning she felt the sharp claws of anxiety crawl under her skin. Jirou knew why the monster came back: she was in love. Those feelings weren't really new, she was aware of them literally two seconds after seeing the flawless black ponytail for the first time. The problem was that she couldn't take it anymore. The young girl had just woken up from a romantic fantasy of her and Yaoyorozu for the fifth time this week. This crush was consuming her whole life and she couldn't keep ignoring it.
Determined, she left her room looking for the only person who would be able to help her in this situation. The pink alien girl was sat in the dining room, eating her breakfast surrounded by Sero and Denki, in front of them an angry Bakugo was busy yelling at Kirishima. Kyoka would rather have that conversation alone but she has the weird feeling it will be impossible for her to get the matchmaker out of there without questions be asked. She takes the deepest breath she can and starts walking hastily towards the table. She takes place next to the red haired boy, eyes down. The musician plays with her lobe anxiously, not daring to make any eye contact with her friends. She knows it's the worse way to pretend like everything is fine, but she can't help it, she has a tendency for avoidance.
"Girl, you okay ?" asks Mina all of the sudden. Everybody else focus on her now, silently. Surprisingly even blondie over there stopped yelling. Honestly, for once she would have loved earring his raspy voice take all the looks away, but she had to be reasonable and do something about her feelings.
"I...uh..." she stammered. "I wanted to tell you guys something..." she couldn't believe she got those words out, at least she couldn't back down anymore now.
"What is it ? You're scaring us right now !" yelled Kaminari who got himself a threatening look and a bump of the elbow in the ribs. "Ouch !" he yelled back, relaxing the atmosphere.
The dynamic of her friend group being true to itself made Kyoka feel lighter. The claws let go of her insides and her mind became clearer. She was ready to let that truth out, at least to her friend for now.
"I'm in love with Yaomomo." she finally confessed.
Whatever she was expecting never came. Everybody was silent around the table and for a while she wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not. Then the first laugh was heard, followed by the highest-pitched scream she ever heard. Ashido jumped on her feet and ran straight up to her friend to hug her. She was way too excited to have new victims for her matchmaking hobby. The boys were all laughing and Bakugo even smirked behind his hand.
"What's so funny about this guys ?" she asked, confused.
"Girl, we already knew that. The two of you are so obvious with it ! I think even Aizawa probably knows how you feel !"
So that explains the reactions then. She can't believe she made herself that sick with something so dumb. Relief and embarrassment take over the anxiety in her stomach, for a moment she just enjoys the trust she shares with her friends.
Without really realizing what happens they all end up in Mina's room, circling the purple hair girl on the floor. Katsuki pretended like he didn't care but his curiosity was obvious, so they all pretended they believed his little act when he complained about being dragged there. Her friends asked a lot of questions about what she wanted to do. It was overwhelming for her to be the center of attention, especially for something so intimate. They were all throwing ideas around for her future declaration and none of them seemed to make any sense.
"You can invite her to an attraction park and tell her on a roller coaster !" shouted Denki
"Or you can do it during a manly training session with her ! It would be so sweet !" that idea was so revolting nobody even took the time to criticize it.
After what felt like an eternity, a silence fell on the room. Nobody had any original interesting idea and Jirou felt like giving up. She wasn't even sure she wanted to do it. What if it went wrong ? What if she ruined everything with her ? She didn't even know if Momo was...gay. She couldn't stand the possibility of her crush being disgusted by who she was and what she felt. Once again giving up seemed to be the best option. Her legs got up on their own and she left the room, she apologized and said she needed air to make sure they would let her go.
Her hands were sweaty and her vision became blurry. She pushed her back to the wall to ground herself and tried to compose herself. It wasn't that much of a deal, why was she always overreacting to everything ? Confessing to a crush is not that hard honestly, even preschoolers can do it, why couldn't she ? Those thoughts didn't exactly help her feel better and her hands were now trembling. She was ashamed. There in that hallway, she was embarrassing herself. How could she be worthy of being a hero or a musician, if she was so useless ? The negativeness sounded like a beehive in her mind and she barely noticed the person walking towards her.
Momo was walking up the stairs when she heard someone breathing heavily. Alarmed she went to see what was happening, she wasn't about to pretend like she didn't see her friend panicked so she approached her carefully to make sure she wouldn't be scared. The musician recognized her expensive slippers immediately, she was glad and embarrassed to be found like this.
"Oh dear, what happened Kyoka ? Are you alright ?" she said while reaching out to her.
She hesitated to take that hand but she knew how good that made her feel to be cared for so she decided to accept it "I...I just felt a bit anxious because of school and stuffs, ya know..."
"I understand, I can feel a bit stressed out too sometimes. Perhaps a cup of tea would help ?" the dark haired girl offered nicely. Butterflies bloomed in the other girl's chest. All of her niceness to her was making her melt even more. She knew Yaomomo was like this with everyone, and that's what she liked, but she was just too sweet for her heart to take it.
"I think it could help too !" she took her phone to text her friends and warn them she'd be back in 10 minutes. Her classmate grew a shining smile at the thought of drinking tea.
"We'll take it in my room, it's gonna be quick"
She followed Yaoyorozu to her room and despite it being the hundredth time she still felt like it was the first. The room wasn't very spacious initially but the enormous bed in its center took all the space it had left. That's why they usually end up doing everything sat on her bed, which sounds a bit too intimate for Jirou these days. She always imagines how she looks sleeping there at night, with her ponytail undone and her pink pajamas. Flustered she looked back at the cup of tea she was offered. Their fingertips brushed in the process and the teenager thought her heart would give out. She was feeling too hot and the tea made it worse, but she would never say that to her crush, that'd make her sad. So she silently drank the hot tea while avoiding the sweet eyes looking back at her. The silence in the room feels a bit awkward but she has the privilege to feel safe in it. She doesn't try to feel it with dumb meaningless words, she knows the other girl understands her mindset and won't need talking.
"Thank you for the tea Yaomomo. I'm sorry if I worried you but I feel better thanks to you." she apologized while putting away the pretty cup.
As they were heading towards the door she answered "I told you to call me by my name, Kyoka ! Don't you worry about me, the important is that you now feel better !"
She closed her arms around her in a hug and the room felt even hotter than before. As her own arms surrounded Momo she knew confessing was the right thing to do. No matter the consequences, her friend needed to know. She needed to be free of that burden. Both her feelings and her sexuality feel too heavy as a secret to keep and she doesn't have anyone else in the world she would rather confess them to. She waved at her while going back to Ashido's room, confident and happy.
A pillow flew at her head when she opened the door. She barely left for 15 minutes and it was already a mess. Denki and Sero were playing a fighting game on Mina's ps5 while she was having a wrestling match with Kirishima under Bakugo's focused eyes.
"What the fuck is happening right now ?" she exclaimed
"What happened with YOU young lady ? You left us even tho we did a council just for you !" the pink one yelled.
"Yeah Ears you fucking disappeared out of nowhere. 'Cause of you I'm stuck with these idiots"
"No one's forcing you Bakubro" his best friend reminded him.
"SHUT UP SHITTY HAIR"
"Soooo what did you do in Yaoyorozu's room huh ?" asked Pikachu, putting them back on topic
"That's none of your business, but we drank tea..."
"Like in a metaphorical way or...?" Sero dared ask, he took the pillow back right in the face.
Despite her mood being lightened she still had absolutely no idea of how she was going to confess and that was a serious problem. She wanted to do it in a way that looked like her but that would still impress her. The silence became just as hard as before, everyone too deep in their thoughts to break it. Suddenly, someone had a revelation, and it was the most unexpected one of them all:
"Why don't you right her a song Ears ?"
All the eyes were glued on the spiky haired blondie. How could he find the solution ? Where did it even come from ?
"You're a big romantic behind your insufferable personality Bakugo !" shouted Kaminari before an explosion blinded him.
"Actually you're right she could do that... But that would be simple and expected..." Mina started. Everyone could tell she had a bigger idea behind that and it might be genius or straight up garbage.
"Hear me out guys: she should perform that song with us during the School Festival ! We would be there with her on stage as a surprise !"
"Are you crazy Mina ? How am I supposed to do this in front of everybody ??" shouted the singer, outraged by this insane idea.
"Listen to me, it's easy, the room will be almost empty after the first song, people will get into the other room for the rest of the performances, while they leave we can prepare ourselves and then BAM we make our show for her and she falls in love ! It's simple isn't it ?"
The plan is a bit simple but when she thinks about it Kyoka doesn't see any reason to refuse. She's right, people will leave and once they're out they can do whatever they want on stage. With her friends to support her she'd be better and Momo wouldn't expect it... She looks around to scan their reaction to pinkie's idea and they all seem pretty hyped up, except of course for Katsuki who seems outraged by the thought of participating to another song.
"Could I play something this time ? I don't want to do the special effects again..." complained Hanta
"I WON'T FUCKING PLAY ANOTHER STUPID SONG"
"Come on man ! That's not very manly of you not to help a friend, besides we will all be there, it'd be a shame if you weren't there too ! I would have to play the battery to replace you..." Eijirou argued in order to convince the reluctant boy.
"I'll do it, you'll break it if you touch it, and I don't fucking want to hear how bad you'd be hair-for-brains"
The heavy gazes of her friends were all weighting on her now. She had to give an answer otherwise they'd plan everything for nothing. How would she look if she refused when Grumpy accepted ?
"Okay, I'll do it..." she answered with a smirk. She felt both stressed out and relaxed. This was going to be a wild ride but she finally felt ready to do it.
"Oh my god what a fucking disaster... You guys really suck !"
Exhausted, they all sat down on the cold floor. The day was beautiful and the sun was shining outside, yet here they were, sweaty in a high school gymnasium. Mina was way too implicated and she insisted on creating a choreography for the big day. Unfortunately, her friends were as good at dancing as they were in school. Except for the sole exception of Bakugo of course who was shockingly and annoyingly good at everything he did. Thankfully he would be sat behind his battery, so nobody would be able to compare their dancing to his.
"It's pointless to dance when will be busy playing !"
"Yeah he's right Mina, we can't do both !" Sero backed his friend up.
"Guys I told you already, we need to be fully prepared so everybody should know the dance ! I take this really seriously, it's a big thing for Jirou ! Right, girl ?"
"Uhm yeah... I don't think we need to do all of that tho...But thank you !" she answered, embarrassed by her friend's enthusiasm.
The writing of the song was going smoothly enough, after all she had that in her blood. Expressing her feelings this way made so much sense, she couldn't believe she needed that blond brat to have this idea for her ! The plan was going pretty well but she feared the time it was taking would make them drift away from each other. They barely saw each other outside the repetitions for the class concert and the hero trainings. Even tho she was confident it was worth it, she didn't wanted Momo to have the wrong idea.
She turned back on her bed sighing audibly. High school crushes are so complicated...She was grateful to have such good friends tho. They're dumb as shit, loud and sooo ignorant of boundaries, but they're here for her when she needs them, and at the end of the day, it's all that matters.
"WAKE UP ! IT'S D DAY !" yelled Ashido as she jumped on her bed to wake her up. Behind her were standing her whole friend group. What was she saying about their boundaries ? Anyways, she felt the anxiety crawl up her spine when she realized how full her day was going to be. Two concerts including one confession was honestly the more busy she's ever been and it feels like it's also the most important thing she'll ever do. On the bright side, she's not as stressed by the first concert anymore, it's cat piss compared to what comes next. Kyoka gets up and kick the intruders out of her room, she takes her phone and blast some Deep Dope in her ears, so loud she'll probably end up deaf at 20. She dresses up and tries to eat (it was a failure), she only stops the music when she notices Yaoyorozu seating next to her. Her friend clearly notices there's something wrong and offers her a cup of tea. The teenager knows she'd probably throw up on stage like Aubrey Pausen in Pitch Perfect if she tried to ingest something again so she politely refused the offer. That only made her more stressed about vexing Momo. There she was, lost in her diabolical anxiety spiral, overthinking everything and ruining things for herself. She was never able to have fun, her mind was always in the way.
The warmth of an embrace took her out of her thoughts, Yaomomo was there hugging her. She almost let tears run down her cheeks but she reminded herself today was going to be a good day. She'll have a lot of fun and make Eri smile. Her classmates will be proud and class 1A will finally be able to enjoy being just teenagers. She's going to do that too, because she deserves to enjoy her own life from time to time, away from her buzzing mind, hidden in the arms of the girl she likes.
"Come on girls ! It's time ! Izuku's back we can start !"
Before letting go of her friend, the delegate looked at her with a hint of concern. She was making sure her classmate was ready to go on that stage. For once, Kyoka was able to confidently reassure her, she was fine and more than ready to sing her heart out.
When she stepped on that stage, Jirou felt the excitement of the audience and chills of impatience went down her spine. The sounds around her were so loud, just like she liked it. The ground vibrated with the synchronized steps of the public on the floor. It reminded her of the times her parents brought her to their concerts, it was so overwhelming and yet it was the only time she truly felt alive. It's funny how back then she would never have imagined she'd choose another path than music. Kyoka knows she won't ever regret that choice, music is who she is, not what she does. This project shows just how much she was right, her music goes perfectly well with her heroic vocation.
"Hero too, I am a hero too
My heart is set and I won't back down
Hero too, strength doesn't make a hero
True heroes (true heroes) stand up for what they believe
So wait and see"
Sweat runs down her forehead, her throat hurts like hell and her fingertips bleed from playing so much. In this moment she wishes her lover was closer from her. This way she would truly be fulfilled. Despite not seeing her, the singer knows the girl is behind her, backing her up by playing alongside her. She can feel her presence in the grace with which she plays her own instrument, her voice resonates in every notes she sings.
"Now it's my turn to be the one to make you smile"
The little Eri is there, in the middle of the room, shining brighter than ever. Her smile lights up the room better than Aoyama's lasers. Up there on Mario's shoulder she can finally feel like the world is hers. Jirou knows today she at least managed to accomplish one of her objectives. The public cheers enthusiastically and the confettis fall from the ceiling. Class 1A can finally take a breath and satisfy themselves with the certainty they did something good. After a little while, the audience started moving out of the room, the stage became emptier too as the students were cleaning up the mess behind them. Some of them seemed to be reluctant to leave, their feet dragging on the floor, every action slowly done. This group surprised their classmates by volunteering to clean the mess by themselves. Tenya didn't miss the opportunity of reminding them how highly peculiar this gesture was coming from them. Under their repeated requests the delegate found himself obligated to accept. Momo, who wasn't aware of the scheme unravelling under her eyes, chose to stay behind, waiting for her friend and helping too. Ashido and Kaminari used one of their numerous tricks up their sleeves to get her to simply wait in front of the stage. Something was weird and that became more and more obvious until she was about to ask questions. Luckily the improvised band was ready to begin just in time.
"Stealin' kisses from your misses
Does it make you freak out?
Got you fussing, got you worried
Scared to let your guard down"
The first notes started resonating in the empty room. Surprise was apparent on the only person in the audience's face. She was confused on what was happening but her mind seemed to work overtime. The lyrics started to make sense, she was about to understand the message.
"Saw your face, heard your name
Gotta get with you
Girls like girls like boys do"
Kyoka wasn't sure she'd be able to say those lyrics out loud to Yaomomo. Her friends knew about her sexuality, and frankly the dark haired girl should have been aware of it sooner too. She couldn't bring herself to tell her when she knew damn well what she was feeling for her. So she hid it, all those slumber parties pretending to like boys, all those nights sleeping next to her like she wasn't dying to kiss her. She couldn't bring herself to finally say it. Until today. It felt good. And natural. There under the spotlight her muse looked so pretty. Her hair was messy after the first concert, her shirt damped with sweat. She was holding her fingers together like she always do when she doesn't know what to do. Her lips, they were slightly open and dewy. That shade of pink became her new favorite color. Kyoka felt ready to give up on her voice if that was the price to possess those lips just once. But as good as this was feeling right now, she'd have to confront herself to an answer and a rejection would hurt, really badly. She was ready tho. Her love was begging to be let out, and as much as the world wants her to keep it quiet she won't. Her dad taught her how to love and her mom showed her how to scream. Silence ended today and hopefully it would be a good memory to keep for later.
"We will be everything that we'd ever need"
She sang that line as a promise to the girl standing in the pit. It was also a reminder because to Jirou's heart that promise was already fulfilled. What she shared with Momo was everything she ever needed and she was ready to keep it forever. Tears came out at that thought. She wasn't sure if they were sad or happy tears but she let the emotions overwhelm her anyways. She needed her friend to understand how real and raw her love was. Behind the fog the drops in her eyes created, Kyoka was able to discern her friend covering her face with her hands. Was it bad ? She couldn't tell but it was too late to back down.
"Saw your face, heard your name
Gotta get with you
Girls like girls like boys do
Nothing new
Isn't this why we came?
Tell me if you feel it too!
Tell me, girls like girls like boys do
Nothing new"
The song ended, leaving a question unanswered. Jirou didn't dare look at the girl. Her hands were shacking, she felt her knees giving up under her. Just as she was about to fall down she hang on to the mic. With a clumsy hand she quickly wiped the tears off her face, making sure she would be able to see clearly when she would dare look.
"I love you Momo. I always did. Not only as a friend."
Her voice echoed in the large empty gymnasium. Her eyes pierced hers big black ones. She was waiting for something. A sign, a word, a feeling. She heard Mina order the band to leave, chairs squeaked and footsteps covered the residues of her previous declaration. Time was suspended, the room felt too big for the two tiny girls sharing it. Yet something filled the empty place. Expectations, regrets, love.
Kyoka sat on the edge of the stage, her feet hanging in the air, balancing at a comforting pace. Silently, Yaoyorozu closed the space between them. Only then the singer became still, not daring make a move and ruin the magic of the moment. A steady hand came up to her cheek, wiping the tears born from the uncertain wait. Without uttering a word, the tall girl sealed her friend's mouth with a shy kiss. It quickly turned to a warm embrace, so tight none of them was able to breathe. The girls didn't care, what happened for them was strong enough to make them forget everything else. A moment they both waited for so long finally happened in the most beautiful way.
"I love you too Kyoka. From the very beginning."