Chapter Text
Her father is dead.
Her father was a traitor, a murderer, a madman, and he's dead.
Carol's self-aware enough to know she's in shock. She should be reeling or weeping but all she feels is.... numb. And that she has to do something.
The Enterprise is a mess. The ships has had enough holes blown in her that Carol's still a little surprised the entire crew didn't get sucked out into space when she stops to think about it.
She tries not to think about it.
Carol wasn't suppose to be on this ship and now it shows. She doesn't know where to go but she can't stop moving, can't stop her fingers from brushing the walls of its winding halls. She's been in every science lab, stepped over broken experiments and equipment. She's been in engineering, checking readings and murmuring greetings. No one's said anything but she can't shake the feeling that she's in the way. She's not suppose to be here. She's not part of the Enterprise.
She's not sure how she ends up back in sickbay. It's quieter here, now. The patients have been pulled off of the ship, moved to more stable quarters on Earth. She wonders where Kirk is briefly, if he'll wake up. Doctor McCoy had said he would, voice full of confidence and curses, but she'd seen his hands shake.
Sinking into a chair in sickbay, she waves off a concerned look from a nurse. There's still a skeleton crew here, ready in case one of those kids in engineering manages to hurt themselves while piecing the ship back together. She watches them for a moment, her hands folded in her lap.
Her father is dead.
The hot tears rise unbidden, unwanted and she looks down, swallowing hard and hoping no one has noticed. She's not the only one who's lost someone today and it feels like - it feels like part of it could be her fault. She knows it's not, logic and common sense tell her it's not, but there's still that dark whisper in the back of her mind. If only she had pried more into his work, if only she had been able to tell from across the dinner table that all wasn't right, if only she'd paid more attention, if only -
A high pitched whine startles her out of her thoughts and she swallows again, fighting back the tears. For a moment, she thinks it's the ship; it's suffered enough and she's heard it whine and groan while she wandered through engineering. Then she hears it again and she realizes no, it's not the ship it's.... Well, she's not sure but it's sitting on top of her foot.
"Hello," she murmurs, leaning down to scoop the small bundle of fur up in both hands. It's warm and soft and, best of all, it's distracting and she finds herself smiling despite watery eyes. It must have been someone's pet, she thinks. It must have escaped in all of the madness and made its way here. "Poor little fellow," she murmured again, giving it a gentle stroke. For a moment, it makes a sound like a purr but then there's that whine again, and what feels like a shiver against her palms.
"Is it still complaining?" Carol looks up, startled, to find a nurse frowning a bit at the animal in her hands. "Those things are always hungry...."
"Oh - is it yours?"
But the nurse is already walking away, shaking her head and muttering, and Carol has to assume that's a 'no'. She looks to the creature in her hands again and it gives another whine. "Right then," she says, her smile widening, "Let's get you something to eat."