Work Text:
Imagine, Sae Itoshi meets a girl in a sea of strangers.
It was 3 odd times they had met, purely by coincidence; fueled by fate.
The first time was on the pitch when his team had just finished winning against another team. They were all returning inside the tunnel, Sae Itoshi trailing closely behind his team not wanting to deal with the fuss of fans at the sides.
“Sae Itoshi!”
It was only when a shrill scream yelled his voice in pure panic. It made him stop in his steps, as he looked up at who was screaming out his name as if he was the murderer in some horror film. Then there was you, in all your glory.
Your anxious expressions, as you flail your arms to get the attention of the footballer. Well, have his attention you did. You were strange. You were another face in a crowd, weren’t you?
“Sae Itoshi! My phone!” You called out, as you desperately pointed towards the discarded phone right beside his shoe. His brows furrowed deeply, the corner of his eyes crinkling in hesitancy before he let out a sigh.
Your expression dropped when he looked almost done, but by God’s miracle, he bent down and handed the phone towards you. Your hands grazed—just barely—then you let out a stream of ‘thank you’s’ to the soccer player. Soon, his back was already gone from your view.
The second time that the two of you met, it was on a bridge. He was taking a late night jog around the area to clear his mind from the grueling training he had endured that afternoon. His cap covered most of his face to keep away from prying fans or paparazzi who might recognize him.
As soon as he was about halfway through the bridge, he noticed a girl standing right next to somebody. The other person looked like a teenager, perhaps younger, but definitely wasn’t old enough to be an adult. They were standing, right off the railing.
Sae noticed the girl’s mouth moving—was she trying to talk them out of it? What could she even say to a person whose life has no purpose to themselves? Sae thought it was stupid. He wouldn’t know where to start if he had to comfort a person with no such direction in life.
When he looked back up, the teenager was lifting themselves back to the railing. He guessed that the girl did the impossible. He slowed down his pace, hoping to not get noticed. Unfortunately, he did. By that same teenager, they called out to him.
“Sae Itoshi!” They squeaked out, and then placed a hand over their mouth realizing they must’ve been disturbing the player. Sae wasn’t in the mood for interaction, but he didn’t want to completely ignore a fan, especially when they knew it was him.
“Yes?” He said, as he stopped right in front of the two with a bored expression. The teenager looked fidgety, playing anxiously at the ends of their notebook. “Uhm…” They murmured, as if wanting to say something but stopping themselves entirely. By his side, you coaxed them with a gentle smile as you pushed them towards Sae.
“Wouldn’t you say this is one of the things life has been waiting to give to you?” Your words trailed off carefully, his eyes following your expression. Then the teen held out the notebook in their hands, bowing as they pleaded.
“Sae Itoshi, could I please have your autograph!”
“... Sure.” He hesitated for a moment, before taking the marker from their hands and signing the notebook with a cautious look on his face. He paused as soon as he finished signing, and glanced back at the kid with a blank look.
The teenager stared at the notebook in their hands with such excitement that it made Sae still for just a moment. “Thank you so much, Sae Itoshi!” They said, as they thanked him over and over again profusely.
The two watched as the teenager ran off into the distance, clutching onto the little notepad to their chest. He squinted his eyes when he looked back at you. You were familiar somehow. Then the words came spilling from his mouth without another thought.
“You were that fan who had lost their phone, right?” You looked up, your face suddenly turning a bit flush. You moved closer to the railing, your arms placed atop the red steel bar as you buried your face between them.
“Ah, you remember that—That’s a bit embarrassing…” His eyes met yours as you turned to him with a sheepish smile.
“Well, if a fan was screaming bloody murder of my name, it’d be hard to forget a face like that.” He placed his hands in his pockets, his gaze boring into the moon deep in the night sky. The waves crashing against the concrete of the bridge beneath them.
“How you managed to make that both sound like a compliment, and an insult truly baffles me.” You said, point
“I heard it’s one of my other innate talents.” He answered dryly, then paused before turning back to you. “Why would you help that kid?” His question only made you hum in response for a second, but you answered without a beat.
“Wouldn’t you?” The words asked with a type of sincerity which made Sae pause.
He didn’t know whether it was the sincerity in your voice, or the question that made him do so. Just for a second, before he deflected the question again. It was the unspoken silence between the two of them.
“What’d you say to them?” He asked to break the silence.
“I told them that if death hadn’t taken you yet, then life still has something waiting for you.” You said.
“Then do you believe that the ones who die are deemed worthless?”
“I don’t believe so. Death is much more important than life, it brings meaning to life itself. While life gives its fleeting moments.” You said.
“Then what do you want in life?” He asked.
“I want to travel the world, admire every painting I could, then perhaps retire in a quiet country.” You smiled softly at that thought, and he took notice.
He couldn’t understand how people would find fulfillment, or any sort of joy in such a life. What happiness could there be for a life so mundane, plain, and without any sort of passion in something?
“Half-baked.” He muttered. You didn’t look all too offended at his words, and even started chuckling under your breath.
“Isn’t it? I guess, I had never wanted anything more in life.” You chuckled under your breath, as your soft laughter trailed off and you looked up at him.
“What about you?” You added, which made Sae raise an eyebrow.
“What?”
“I mean, what do you want in life?” You reiterated your words again which made Sae pause for just a moment, before steeling himself.
“To be the best midfielder in the world.”
“Huh, that's an ambitious dream.”
“Don’t you believe it’s lukewarm to not dream of more?”
“Well, I’ve always been content with what made me happiest in life. Being the best doesn’t seem so appealing to me.”
Your words gave him a pause. He had always believed that people who refused to have bigger dreams in life were half-baked; lukewarm, those kinds of people who would never strive in such a cruel world with such a weak mentality.
Except, the way you carried yourself, the way you spoke, talked of your values and beliefs, how you expressed yourself so effortlessly that it almost collapsed his views entirely. You were
Sae could only let out a huff. Perhaps he was judging you, or was intrigued, even both. You couldn’t tell, not with his apathetic gaze. Except what you didn’t know, was that there was something stirring deep within his heart; the first time since he had made his first goal.
On the third meeting. It had already been weeks later, when that encounter had already slipped your mind. You had come face to face with the red-headed man once again. His frigid glare was burning into you. He was wearing a cap which covered his features; being a minor celebrity, he still wanted to keep his life fairly private without any issue of paparazzi interfering in his life.
He actually wasn’t even supposed to leave his apartment today, it was only dumb luck that would have it that his personal assistant was out of commission and he needed to pick up some documents from the bank for his next out of country trip.
“It’s you.” He started.
“It’s me.” You said, with a smile. “Wouldn’t you say this is fate?” You added.
“This is merely pure coincidence.” He shut you down effectively, then paused. “What are you doing here?”
You looked around nervously. “I’m a bank teller?” A second passed, maybe two before Sae mumbled under his breath.
“I thought you’d be a freelancer.” He answered, making you raise a brow at his words.
“What gave you that idea?” You asked, making him stiffen ever so slightly as his gaze fleeted across the room.
“No comment.” You knew you weren’t going to get an answer out of this man—you’ve seen his interviews with sports articles, he really wasn’t much of a speaker. Rather, he wasn’t a very nice one to talk to.
“Ah. Well, that aside, what did you come here for?” You plastered on a smile.
“I’m here to sign some documents.”
“Alright, I’ll get that started on for you. Please wait in our private office while we sort through the papers.”
You guided him towards a room, it was comfortable enough where Sae could sit on the leather couch while you brought out documents for the two of them to go through.
“You wanted to admire paintings, right?”
“Yes?”
He remembered.
“Come with me to the Pardo museum.” He didn’t know what he was saying. He had never been so interested in something else aside from soccer. Was it the way you talked about your half-baked aspirations with such zeal and enthusiasm? He didn’t understand how a person could want such a mundane life.
“I want to know what’s so good about that strange dream of yours.” He muttered under his breath to himself.
“Huh?” You looked up, your mouth left agape in shock. Was the Sae Itoshi asking you out? Or well, in that same form?! “Wait, but… You—I—” You started to fumble your words, as you gestured wildly around the room to make sense of the whole situation.
In comparison, Sae seemed quite calm and was scribbling with a pen on the back of a piece of paper in his hands. “You heard me. Don’t make me repeat myself.”
“Wait—” He left, leaving her with the paper that had terribly scribbled on numbers. You only glanced down at the napkin he left, and squinted your eyes. You had only one thought on your mind; This man really needed to learn better handwriting.
By the time you were home at your apartment, you were dazed. Your job was the same as always, perhaps not with the arrival of Sae Itoshi. You were practically on auto-pilot as you laid down on your bed, and taking your phone out of your bag,
You stared at your phone screen debating whether you should text the number he gave. You wondered if he’d really given his personal phone number—isn’t that some sort of security issue? You furrowed your brows at the thought, but you steeled yourself with a decision.
You’ll text Sae Itoshi!
Sae (Weird soccer guy)
you
> is this Sae?
Sae
>> Yes.
you
> oh you chat exactly how i thought u would…
Sae
>> What does that mean?
you
> nothing. your autocaps are hurting my eyes
> anyways what were u talking abt a museum???
Sae
>> Exactly that. I’m taking you to a museum.
you
> huh
Sae
>> [ Image attachment ]
>> I have the tickets.
You stared at your phone screen like a maniac, and sat up from your bed
He is insane!
The day after, you paced at the front of the museum like a madman, constantly checking the time on your phone over and over again wondering if he was ever gonna show up. Were you going to end up looking like a fool on the steps of a historical museum, or would he actually bother to come?
Just as you were debating to make a run for it, and to forget about how you almost embarrassed yourself by showing up to the museum that Saeprobablyforgotabout… A man in a black cap and red hair sticking out from the sides approached you.
“S—Sae!” Your voice calling out to him roused interest from curious onlookers who heard his name, which only made Sae pull down his cap further.
“Could you not scream my name out in public?” He grumbled under his breath, as he stuffed his hands into his pockets with a grimace on his face.
“Right… I forgot, you're like some sort of celebrity.”
“If that’s what you’d call it, sure.”
They enter the museum with no problem whatsoever, which makes your racing heart relax a bit. It was almost anticlimactic. When the pair was inside, you excitedly started looking around.
“This is the painting by Francisco Goya, ‘Saturn devouring his Son’.”
“It is based on the Roman myth of Saturn, the god who was given the prophecy that one of his children would one day overthrow his reign. From fear, he chose to eat his children. The painting highlights that same fear, and horror.”
“Is this what people call art these days? How gruesome.”
“I think it’s quite nice.”
“Then you must have your eyesight checked.”
“Always with witty retorts.”
He pointed to another painting.
“What is this painting?”
You rattled off about any painting you knew about, at least to the extent of your knowledge anytime he pointed to any.
“You know a lot about art and its stories.”
“Well, I’ve always appreciated the artistry and history behind paintings.”
“It is also amazing to be able to view these original paintings. You could see all of the details, and each individual brushstroke which was made.”
“Each brush stroke was made with careful decision and emotion. Every artist will always have an individual thought for each and every stroke, which is what I find so fascinating. It is almost as if I am able to understand their mind.”
“I didn’t know art held such meaning. I simply thought it was just paint on a canvas.”
“I guess if you understand the concept of it all, it becomes nicer to appreciate.”
He stayed silent at your words. If he understood that same idea—would he be able to understand you all the same?
…
“You know, this is my first time visiting this museum.” You said, as you held onto your purse staring out at the view from the steps of the building.
“The tickets are fairly cheap for this museum. Why haven’t you thought of visiting?”
“I mean—well, it’s just that… I never had a reason to.”
“Your dream is to see all the art the world has to offer, yet you let something as fickle as ‘reason’ stop you. Why?”
“I’m not sure why.”
“What a half-baked answer.”
“You’re quite wise for your age. Are you sure you aren’t some 80 year old trapped in a young man's hot body?” He stared at you as if you were a madman for your words.
“I will not comment on that.” He scoffed.
Then, you went home.
The day was boring. Crunching in numbers, dealing with rude customers with a forced smile on your face, and clocking out overtime to finish overdue work. Life was miserable in your eyes. You tapped your finger mindlessly against your cheek, as your eyes hollowed in dreariness.
How would you ever escape this monotonous hell? This was dull—bleak. Not the life you wanted, yet the life you were forced to have to be able to scrape by. You imagined yourself as a genius, perhaps like Sae Itoshi. He must live the high-life, he was a genius from another country, a celebrity in his industry, and had people lining up just for a glimpse of him.
You groaned into your palms at the thought. Well, it wasn’t as if you wished for a life with such ambition and status. Rather, it was the passion which came with it. Sae seemed so… passionate about it all. You hoped for that same kind of passion in your life, a kind of burning fire which lit up a spark in others.
You were too scared just to step out of your comfort zone—perhaps the museum was one of those off-days where you felt genuine freedom. Just that same fleeting feeling you yearned for, and the terrible thoughts of simply… leaving it all, just to pursue such a thing.
That would be an impossible task for you though. Your family, friends, and life waited for you here—you couldn’t leave.
While you were scrolling on your phone you saw a page promoting Sae Itoshi’s new match. You clicked on it absentmindedly staring at the details—you were free on that day. Whether it’s be dumb luck, or something entirely different you were compelled to go to that game.
Sae (Weird soccer guy)
you
> ( sent an attachment )
> this u
> ??
Sae
>> Obviously. I’m on the cover
you
> ok diva
> i wanna go
Sae
>> Who’s stopping you?
you
> i just want some reassurance
Sae
>> K.
>> Then go.
you
> ocakes
Sae
>> ( Sent a thumbs up )
you
> bitch
Sae
>> ???
You promptly closed your phone after reading his message, and simply went on with your day.
Somehow—someway. You were now staring at tickets for Sae’s game—you ruffled your own hair as you racked your mind on how on earth you bought the tickets. You couldn’t be lavishly spending on such unnecessary expenses, you were already barely getting by!
It was as if you were simply out of your depth when you had pressed purchase on the tickets. You had work, and now you have to make up a lousy excuse so that the tickets don’t go to waste. For a few seconds, you debated whether you should text Sae about it. You didn’t even know why he even crossed your mind there, except you chose against it.
You were sure that the soccer player had better things to do than entertain your mindless problems. As you thought about it, you were back at staring out into the distance, just barely across the tanned walls ahead of you. You had to return to work the next day.
For a moment, you wondered how life would be beyond your walls. Somewhere between yourself and the world you were learning about. Maybe, these types of trivial things wouldn’t bother you for once. Again, you scraped those thoughts from your mind. There was no use of thinking such useless ideals.
The mornings after that, you were sitting behind the till with a smile plastered on your face as you greeted the next customer with that same practiced smile. The days, hours, minutes, and seconds blurred so quickly between lines you didn’t know where it started and when it ended.
It was only when you were at home you could only find some semblance of consciousness within yourself. You absentmindedly checked your phone, and realized that the game was already tomorrow. That was what brought you out of your trance-like state. You had almost completely forgotten about it.
Now, you were sitting at your seat in the stadium. The moment the whistle blew you watched with astonishment as Sae played. He passed beautifully, your gaze fixated on the ball billowing through the air like a meteor crashing onto the earth. He stood out amongst them all, his red hair contrasting against the dark green of the grass.
The chants of the crowd grew more furious as the game got more intense, at the last final moment with an assist from his teammate, Sae ran straight to the right position then made a corner kick right into the goal. For a moment, you saw it. The passion and the hunger for fame and glory as the horns blew in the air.
His gaze filled with a fire of intensity, as all his team gave him rough pats on the back. You felt like your breath was taken away—You felt it, his fervor, passion for it all. A trait you dreamed for in life. It was only when he slightly turned his head to the side that his eyes fell on you. Actually, you weren’t even sure if he was staring at you.
But, you still hesitantly raised your hand to wave back at him, a small grin on your face. His gaze never leaves yours.
After the game, you were waiting by the barrier. Everybody had left by now, it was dark out but you stayed. By the time Sae left the field, he was greeted with you leaning on the barrier which separated the both of you.
“So, you came.” He was the first to speak up. His duffel bag slinged on his shoulder, as he tilted his head up towards you.
“Yeah, I thought it’d be fun to get out of the house from time to time.” You said, with a smile as you leaned in closer to him.
“Hm.” He hummed.
“You did well at the game.”
“I performed better than usual.” He dryly replied.
“Can’t you accept compliments like a normal person?”
“What made you think of me as ‘normal’.” You narrowed your eyes on him, the tension between them before you simply let out a sigh of exasperation.
“You’re right.” You looked down. Then your gaze flickered back up at Sae for a moment. “I’m bored.” You said.
“What do you want me to do about that?” He said, point blank.
“Could you come with me to the museum again?” You exclaimed.
“Absolutely not.” His words make you seemingly deflate in disappointment.
“Why not?”
“I already did once, and that was simply to entertain myself.”
“Come on! Then, what about an art exhibition—of impressionist artists! It’ll be great!”
You saw the skepticism in his features.
“Don’t worry! I’ll pay for it.” You hurriedly said.
“Then why do you need me to go with you?”
“Well… because you're the only one who seems interested enough to go. I’d rather go with somebody else, than alone.” You honestly admitted.
“And how could you tell?”
“Hm, intuition.” You flashed him a large grin.
He stared at you for a few seconds—you thought that you had taken it too far for a second, and was about to rescind your offer before he beat you to it.
“I’ll go with you. Don’t make me regret going.”
The next day after, you gave him the details of the event and showed up. Again, he wore that same cap and simple outfit to the exhibition. You recognized him almost immediately, and happily waved at him.
“Sae!” You said with a big grin on your face, until you let out a gasp of horror realizing you just made the same mistake twice. “Whoops—” You squeaked out, as you covered your mouth with your hands.
He could only let out an exasperated sigh.
“Come on, let’s just get inside.” He said, as he ushered you into the exhibit.
Soon after the hours passed quickly with you admiring each painting with interest, while he stood idly by at the sides with less enthusiasm. The tanned colored walls mocking him, as he was surrounded by abstract, or was it contemporary paintings? Maybe both. He presumed. None with any distinction of a story or subject.
“I still don’t get it.” He mumbled under his breath, his gaze squinting while he stared down at the painting riddled with bright colors and no subject in sight. At least in the museum he could make sense of it—these? These were completely half-baked.
“Art?” You asked, as you stood beside him with your hands clasped behind you.
“Yes. It simply makes no sense.”
“That’s fine. There’s a lot of things you’ll never make sense of.” You explained.
His gaze followed you—the curve of your nape, the soft light glowing against your features as you stood in the sea of paintings surrounding you. Colored canvases lacking in luster lined up against walls.
The only thing he could think about was the fact that none of these priceless paintings truly held a candle to you—You spoke of profound words with such softness accompanied by a confidence he could never understand.
“You’re right.” He hummed.
He hoped to make sense of you.
Though, those thoughts were buried deep into the far occlusions of his mind. So, as soon as the two of you finally made your rounds around the whole exhibition, you were practically as fresh as a new born baby as you left the exhibition. Whilst Sae looked hellish.
“Was that fun?” You asked, grinning from ear to ear leaving the exhibition.
“More or less.” He said.
“I’ll take that as a yes!” You said, still smiling largely. His gaze once again trailing towards you, as if pulled by a mysterious force as he had to will himself back into reality.
“I’ll pay you back for the tickets.” He said, which made you glance back at him with curiosity.
“Oh, did you enjoy the exhibition that much? Well, you don’t need to pay me back.”
“No, I will.”
“No, you won’t!”
A few beats of silence passed the two of them, as none was willing to back down.
“You’re stubborn.”
You smile triumphantly.
“Fine then, let me take you out to dinner. Consider that as my repayment.”
“Are you asking me on a date?”
“Have you not listened to a word I said?”
“A date it is then!” You happily skipped away, leaving a disgruntled Sae in your wake. He still followed you to where you had brought him, it was a semi nice restaurant. You ordered the best looking thing on the menu, and when the food came out you excitedly dug in.
“The food is good here.” You said, as you stuffed another bite of your food into your mouth.
“I guess.” He murmured, picking around his food in complete boredom. How did he get wrapped into this in the first place? He wondered to himself as he stared across at you from the table, his hands grazing against the white fabric on the table.
You looked so happy, just eating the food. He couldn’t understand why.
“Maybe it’s because you only eat boring food.” You commented, pointing to his food with a fork. All of which are greens with protein in a healthy mix.
“It’s not boring, it’s healthy. Unlike somebody’s dish.” He quickly shut down her insult, as you let out an indignant gasp.
“Hey! No talking bad about my dish, she has feelings.”
“How tepid. Feelings, and all of that.” He brushed off her words with coldness, once again.
“You’re so cold. I bet your family freezes over when having lunch with you. You probably don’t even have a brother.
“I do, I have a younger brother.”
“You must be proud of him.”
“To some extent, sure.”
“Family, huh?” You murmured under your breath, with a strange expression flitting from your face. Distant—tense. He narrowed his eyes on you, watching slowly.
“Why? Do you have any problems with yours?” His words made you vehemently shake your head.
“No! No no. I don’t, we’re like the average working class family here. You know?”
“Then…” Your words trailed off, deep in thought for just a moment.
“What is it?”
“Nothing.” You said, with an awkward chuckle.
You then quickly changed topics to avoid the awkward silence to span over, as you curiously asked him about his line of work. Especially about how life was as a celebrity of sorts. He was willing enough to provide enough details which left you amazed across the table, as you kept gushing loosely over how ‘cool’ it was.
As soon as the dinner ended, you saw a pair of sunglasses left on the table. You turned around, except Sae had already left, he had said something along the lines of ‘work’ and ‘old geezers bothering him’. He paid before you could say anything else.
You slowly took the glasses in your hand, and made your way out of the restaurant. By the time you reached your dingy apartment, night had quickly settled in faster as the moon brightly lit the sky. You clicked the lights open as it took a few flickers to light the room.
Sae (Weird soccer guy)
you
> you forgot smthn
> ( You sent an image )
Sae
>> That’s where I forgot it.
you
> yep
> do i give it back to u???
Sae
>> Sure. I’ll send you a pin of my apartment.
>> ( Sae sent his location )
you
> oh. damn ok
Sae
>> Bring it to me tomorrow night. I have training in the morning until afternoon.
you
> aye aye captain!
Sae
>> Don’t call me captain.
you
> ok
> captain
It was the next day when you ubered to his apartment. You looked out of the windows and marveled at how sleek the building was, and the area it was in definitely cost a hefty sum to live in considering how all the other sky-rise apartments were just as nice as his.
You felt completely out of your depth the moment you stepped into the lobby, you had semi-expected that the staff would be rude considering you didn’t look the part to be living in such a building. Fortunately, it was the complete opposite, and they were kind enough to give Sae a call to tell him that you had arrived.
One staff member was kind enough to escort you to the floor, and you thanked them profusely for their time. It was only when you came face to face at Sae’s apartment when you realized the amount of pressure it was to just ring a damn doorbell! You contemplated for minutes, which honestly felt like hours, simply staring at the door. Unsure whether you should, or should not ring the doorbell.
It was only when Sae took it upon himself and opened the door (After he watched you pitifully through the ring camera for about 5 minutes). You almost immediately reacted, and handed him the sunglasses.
“Sae! Your sunglasses.”
“Thanks.”
You were just about to turn around, and leave. Hoping this whole interaction would be forgotten—specifically by yourself. However the moment you tried to turn your heel, a hard boom of thunder reverberated through the whole apartment complex, soon after, rainfall came crashing down hard.
Just your luck!
“It’s raining.” You murmured under your breath.
“You can go.” He bluntly said. Making you let out a huff of indignation.
“In this rain? What type of person are you?!” You gestured wildly to the rain sweeping over the windows of his high rise apartment. Your dramaticness only made him groan in frustration—how could he be stuck with a person like you?
“Fine, what do you want me to do?”
“Uhm—Invite me into your home until the rain stops?” You said, indignantly. Staring at him with crossed arms, and a slight glare. Does this man have no concept of hospitality? scratch that. Even just an inch of compassion?!
“Really? Sure, whatever.” He bluntly said. Your eyes lit up with his words, then pushed your way through him without any hesitation. He let out a disgruntled grunt at your lack of awareness. He didn’t know whether to applaud it or not.
“Thanks, Sae!”
The moment you stepped into his apartment, you let out a horrified gasp. It was all so… dark. Literally, the walls were all black with his kitchen counters. Not even in the cool mysterious brooding way, it was as if he just bought the apartment as is and didn’t bother to do anything else with it. Was his lights—fluorescent lights?
“Your home is like a sterile hospital but make it darker!”
“I rarely stay in my apartment for long periods of time. I see no use 'decorating’ to my taste.”
“But why?” You asked, seemingly almost pitying Sae.
“I already told you why.” You hummed under your breath at his words, squinting as you examined the whole apartment. Then you broke into a sudden grin as you turned to him.
“Now I definitely know what to give you.” You said, as you snapped your fingers. It was now his turn to narrow his eyes on you in skepticism.
“Give me what?”
“It’s a secret! Now, what do you do at home?” You brushed off the earlier conversation, as you quickly strolled into his apartment like you were at home. “I wanna watch a new show I saw airing.” You added, as he followed you with a deep furrow of his brows.
He had almost completely forgotten that interaction, until you barged into his apartment the next morning with a small bag in tow. He was drinking his kombucha, already dreading the day to come until his door slammed open.
He only knew one person who had the guts to come to his apartment unannounced. Just as his luck would have it, you came creeping up behind him and practically tried smashing him against the weight of your whole body flying down on him.
Fortunately, he didn’t budge an inch and simply gave you an annoyed sideways glance.
“Do you not have a job?”
“It’s a weekend, Debby downer. Look, I got you this painting!” You extended your arms to show off the little portrait of the city skyline decorated in bright colors.
“What is this for?” He took the painting with an unsure expression. Examining the small painting with strange skepticism.
“To put it around your home.” You paused, as you added to explain. “You need some color in your apartment, so I painted this for you.”
“Hm.” He hummed in acknowledgment, as his hand brushed softly against the slightly damp paint on the surface while you watched his every movement.
“Do you like it?” You curiously asked.
“Not at all.”
“Well, I thought you would.” Sae raised an eyebrow at your words. “But, at least it’ll bring some light to your home.”
“My apartment.” He said, staring up at you with a doubtful expression.
“Yes, your home.” You said, while grinning up at him.
Your smile was blinding—he thought.
As soon as you left, Sae put it up on his bedside table in his home. His gaze lingering on the painting of the skyline, as he stared out at the window behind it. The colorful lights glimmering of buildings stretching across the horizon.
Has the view from his room always been this beautiful?
The next day, and the day after that, you kept coming by. For what reason? Unknown, he supposes. Not that he really minded, since you always gave him a heads up through chat about coming over.
After your work, you would always come by with a new story to talk about with him. Whether it’d be an annoying co-worker, or gossip you would whisper to him as if anybody could hear. On most days, it’d be simply you filling the quiet void of Sae’s life with nothing but a television show and a dream.
You were strange, in that sense. Nobody really liked Sae’s behaviour. He was rude, blunt, and harsh—to put it simply, his quality as a soccer player far outmatched his character. Yet, you didn’t seem to mind.
While you sat beside him on the couch, watching next to him as he examines the opposing soccer team's playstyle during games.
You let out a gasp, as you shoved your phone in front of his face, “Sae, look!” You shrieked. “We’re all over the media!”
“Huh, that was us in the restaurant.” He offhandedly commented, as he looked at the picture in intrigue. It wasn’t a paparazzi shot—most likely a fan passing by who saw them through the window considering how blurry the shot was.
The only thing which could be made out in the candid shot was Sae sitting in front of you, his arms on the table as his full focus was on you. To others, it surely seemed like a date between the star soccer player and an enigmatic person. That was enough to send the media into a spiral.
Those photos were plastered everywhere, trending on all sites as everybody theorized on who, what, and how was the Sae itoshi settling down. Well, it wasn’t far off the truth. Perhaps, just not the full truth of it all.
“Is this alright?” You asked, worriedly. Wondering if this type of attention from people would affect how he saw your relationship. You were also hesitant and quite guarded about that idea too.
“It’s fine. I’ve never cared about media coverage.”
Soon, you became quiet. You hadn’t told anybody about you and Sae—not even your closest friends. After all, why would they believe that you’ve been talking with a famous soccer player behind the scenes? It would sound completely ridiculous.
Everybody would be talking about it. Society was made up of humans after all, they all had their own opinions, expectations, and perspectives. That same applies to their expectations of Sae, perhaps even her own family’s. You and his relationship is a paradox to their expectations of him.
Whether they’d place malice on the both of you, or support it. You shouldn’t care. They didn’t know both of you—they didn’t understand it at all.
That was fine too. The silence. Nobody else had to look into your relationship, it was just you and him. In your own little world with no expectations from anyone. It would be alright then. You thought to yourself, as you instinctively shifted closer to him. Your head leaning against his chest as you returned to scrolling.
Effectively destroying all distance between the two of you, as he reached for the television remote to replay the match again. The crackling of cheering fans and commentary filled the room with commotion, however the noise didn’t reach the two of you on the couch.
That night was the first ever night you slept in his apartment. You woke up dazed, still sitting on the couch with you nestled closely to him with a cashmere blanket gently draping you. He sat there beside you, still as a statue, his arm resting on the backrest of the couch behind you. You looked up at the man whose chest you were laying on.
He was still fast asleep. However, his bangs had seemingly fallen during the course of the night, and you instinctively came up to brush it away from his face. The red strand softly lifted against your finger, as you stared at him for a moment longer—you were sure if he wasn’t such an amazing soccer player, he would’ve made it big in the modeling industry. His shining looks could attest to that.
Your hand slowly fell back to your chest, as you went back to snuggle closer to him. Chasing the warmth provided by his body, and what you didn’t know was that moment after you had fallen back into slumber. Sae slowly opened his eyes, he peers over to your figure curled up next to him.
The sun rising slowly seeping through the curtains as golden rays shed a glow on your features. His gaze darts between the surface of your skin, towards your lashes, and the pink of your lips. He found himself lingering on you longer than he should’ve, as he gently grazed the bottom of your lips with his finger.
A gesture so reverent, it almost made him jump back in fright as if he had been burned by the mere touch of you. He immediately looked back at you, afraid that you had woken up, but you were fortunately still sleeping. That made him let out a sigh of relief, as he slowly leaned back closer to you.
He lowered his gaze to you once again, as he simply watched with curiosity—Curious of the way the light shone on your figure. You were truly someone beyond his wildest dreams, it was embarrassing to think of, but to him, it was only the truth. He was sure you had irrevocably changed him from the inside.
At that thought, he laid his head atop of yours. Relishing in your warmth, as the both of you fell back into a deep sleep.
Then, you saw an ad for a thrift marketplace in town. Your eyes immediately lit up seeing all of the vintage and antiques which were being sold in the individual stalls. A haven for unique finds at a good deal—perfect for somebody like you!
You sat on the island of the kitchen on one of the stools.
“There’s a flea market closeby.” You said, as you scrolled through the other items they were selling.
“What would I even do at a market?”
“There’s a lot to do. Well, if you don’t want to go I can go by myself.”
His brows furrowed for a moment. But faced with how you seemed intent on going to this so called ‘flea market’.
“I have the time.” He begrudgingly muttered under his
“Really? Perfect! I’ll get ready.” You said, as you left the kitchen to get changed in his room. Where you already had some clothes which you moved from your apartment since you said it was a hassle to go back and forth from your apartment to a bag of clothes.
He watched as you made a turn into the corner, then gave his assistant a quick message to cancel all of his plans for the day.
Later, you both were at the flea market now where it was bustling with people. You were excitedly dragging Sae everywhere, showing him the multiple trinkets you see along the way.
“Look at this camera—Oh my gosh!”
“What is it?”
“Look at the price, Sae!”
He looked at the price, and he raised an eyebrow. It was nothing but chump change. He made enough that spending a few thousand dollars wouldn’t make a drastic change, and he truly had nothing good to spend his money on aside from soccer equipment.
“Do you want it?” He asked, gently, which caught you off guard.
“Of course I want it, but—” You were then abruptly interrupted as Sae spoke to the salesperson as he pointed to the camera.
“I’ll buy it.” Without another word, the lady behind the counter was already wrapping up the camera before you could protest another word.
“You wanted it, right?” He said, while he was already paying the lady the exorbitant amount of cash without batting an eye. Taking the camera with ease, as he held it in his arms.
“I can’t accept this…” You hurriedly refuted, as you watched him basically spend a month of your salary for a camera.
You wanted to reject the gift, you didn’t wanna be seen as a charity case to Sae. You were always sure you’d live a life independently with no help, so how was he changing all of that? With one simple glance back at Sae, and his burning teal eyes looking back as if he saw right through you.
Darn him, and his stupidly handsome face.
“Fine.” You snatched the camera out of his hands quickly, as a slight blush spread across your face. Which goes unnoticed by Sae, as he let out a scoff.
“See, you're no better than everybody else who accepts materialistic—What are you doing?” He looked back at you, a deep frown plastered on his face seeing you pointing the camera towards him.
Click!
“I’m taking a picture of you.” You then showed the picture which you took him off guard with you. Making the scowl on his face worsen, as he tried snatching the camera out of your hands. Only for you to wave the camera teasingly at him.
“Delete that.” He said, with a frown. You only stuck your tongue out.
“No way! Come on, I want to check out more stalls.” You said, as you smiled back at him. Then took him by the wrist dragging him to various places until the day came to an end.
The morning after, the both of you woke up on the same bed. Well, he woke up to an empty bed. As if by instinct he woke up only moments after you left, as he groggily made his way to the kitchen seeing you washing the leftover dishes from last night.
A quiet dawn settled over the two of you, as you and him maneuvered through the morning together as if it were second-nature. No words needed to be spoken, as Sae took the mug from above your head as your hands rinsed itself with soapy suds.
“Do you not find my attitude unpleasant?” He suddenly asked, as he was preparing his salted kombucha. The mug glided over the counter smoothly, as the slow trickle of tea poured with steady rhythm.
“What do you mean?” You asked, as the sound of running water filled the kitchen. The refrigerator beside you holding a photobooth photo of both you and Sae.
“Other people find me to be inconsiderate and rude. You have no reason to stick around.”
“Well, you are rude.” You said in a matter-of-fact voice, and Sae let out a scoff.
“Then why do you put up with me? Are you some sort of masochist?”
“I’m nothing of the sort!” You defended yourself hurriedly, panicking. Then you let out a sigh, and composed yourself before turning your attention back at the dishes you were washing. The light sound of ceramics clicking against one another.
“I guess your company is a bit refreshing. It’s not like dealing with passive aggressive customers, or guys who think they know it all after reading one line from a Franz Kafka book.” You explained
“So, you mean to say I’m authentic?”
“Something like that.” You hummed underneath your breath, as the squeak of the running water came to a halt.
“You are really strange.”
“In a good way?”
“Debatable.”
You then elbowed him directly in his ribs.
Sometimes, he’d find you staring out at the window of his apartment with a longing gaze—not for somebody else—but to a world where not even he could reach. You seemed almost, lonely. Even if his hands brushed softly against yours and his breath lingered on the curve of your neck you wouldn’t make a move.
You simply looked out at the lights polluting the world. Your gaze lingering on the glow and into the stars illuminating the sky, and Sae Itoshi would be a fool to not say that you looked like a wistful being who had hung the moon in the sky with your own bare hands. You, who sat on his leather couches so comfortably, as if you were made to live there.
If it were a sin to long for you; then he’d be guilty as sin to hope for your embrace to reciprocate his own.
Tabloids, and rumors started to appear about the two of you. Sometimes it was just a blurry figure of you and Sae in front of a painting or sometimes it was a clear picture of him sitting right in front of you at a restaurant.
When you get back home, to your little studio apartment with the loud noise of the city polluting into your living room as you kick off your shoes hurriedly. The floorboards creaked with each step, and the booming of music coming from the door across the hall made your walls shake. In comparison to the quiet life up in Sae’s penthouse.
It only made you wonder, as you reached for the dust filled cupboards for another cup of noodles. The cold plastic brushing against your skin, a far cry from all of the fancy cutlery Sae owns in his apartment. The contrast was too stark.
How long could the two of you keep up this charade?
Sae had just come home from a long day of interviews after an important game. You watched him, of course. On his own television in his living room. Now, you are making a cup of tea for yourself.
You didn’t bombard him with a series of questions the moment he stepped through the door, and it was rather quiet. Aside from the slow jazz reverberating through the apartment.
“Hey, you’re acting off today.” He said, as he slowly placed his training bag down.
“Am I?” You looked up at him with a slightly shocked look. “I’m sorry, I just have a lot on my mind.” You said, with an awkward smile. But it was obvious it was the type of smile just to not worry Sae even further.
“Like what?” He asked, making you falter for just a moment. Your gaze was distant. Eerily so, in Sae’s eyes. A feeling of dread slowly washing over him.
“Don’t you think that our lives are too different?” You asked, except it was like you weren’t directly talking to Sae. Instead, you continued talking. “I’m jealous, actually. You have a great career, you have passion—the drive to actually pursue what you want.” Your words seemed rather silly to yourself when you said it out loud.
You let out a soft chuckle, it sounded restrained. “This sounds wrong doesn’t it? I don’t know you, I don’t know what your feelings are towards anything. I shouldn’t just assume what your life is.” You muttered weakly to yourself, as you stared down at your hands in your lap.
You were a terrible person, you thought to yourself.
At that moment, he didn’t know how to comfort you. But, you supposed it was for the best. Even you didn’t know what kind of words he could offer to you in that moment aside from deafening silence.
“I bought us chinese takeout.” He said, as he placed the plastic bags on the counter.
“Isn’t that unhealthy for you? Won’t your dietitian go into cardiac arrest knowing you're eating these kinds of food?” You stated, as you inspected the food with interest. However Sae could only shrug at your words as he set out the takeout boxes.
“They would, but how would they know?”
“I’m such a terrible influence to you.” You chuckled.
“I know, now eat up.” He slid the takeout box to you, his hands already prepared with chopsticks as he waited for you to take a bite.
You stared at the food for a second, the flavors wafting through the air like a warm dream. Then you took a pair of chopsticks, and smiled at Sae. A golden glow washed over the room with nothing but the setting sun behind them coloring their lives.
The next afternoon, he found plane tickets leaving the next day. He got angry, but it wasn’t evident, however you could clearly see it from the fire in his eyes. He confronted you almost immediately. You were quick to interject. You explained to him that you finally found purpose, meaning, and the strength to be able to pursue your goals! But he wasn’t listening at all.
“I’m leaving.” He said, with a sharp clipped tone as he slammed the door shut to his apartment.
“Fucking hell—Sae!” You called out to him through the door.
It ended up with the two of you on the beach as the waves crashed down on the coast line; taking a rough toll on the sand, as it mimicked the argument the two of you were having.
There was anger flashing in his eyes. How could you want to simply up and leave with no explanation whatsoever? How could you want to leave him? Just the thought itself was sending him into a spiral. He, the national treasure of Japan, was losing his mind over you, who wore colorful stockings and a fixation of vintage trinkets.
He was running away—just like he always had been. He didn’t even want to look at you, even as you kept arguing with him over and over again; trying to at least get him to hear you out.
“Listen to me, Sae.” You said, except he didn’t even dare turn back to you.
“Sae!” You yelled at him.
“What.” He said, as he finally looked back at you. He paused in his step, as he narrowed his eyes on you.
You let out a sigh, as you mustered all the courage you had left. “You knew—we—both knew this was a long time coming.” You softly told him, except your words held a weight to it.
You had so easily wormed your way into his life so easily. You who had overtaken each and every waking hour of his days and you simply choose to up and leave?
“Why? You don’t believe in us?” His eyes barely showed any shift, yet there was an unexplainable emotion lingering in the back of his irises.
“I do believe in us, Sae! but there’s no future for us that we want.” You rebuked, the frigid air causing goosebumps to rise in your skin as you looked into his eyes. The cold teal in his eyes was slowly falling apart. His mouth began to open and close shut when he tried to formulate a response, but you beat him to it.
“How are you so sure?” The waves crashed down onto the shore, the sound of the sea angry as he was. The uncertainty of its surface is just the same.
“This could all work out in the end—Things don’t have to change. Everything is good as it is.” He said, his voice turning into desperation with each word he spoke.
“Oh, but, Sae, You yourself know first hand that nothing in this world will stay the same forever.” He paused for a moment at your words. He knew what he was asking for was hypocritical—He himself had changed a long time ago.
For a moment he felt as if he was staring back at his own reflection, the spark draining from his eyes. Yet he steadied himself, as he looked straight on towards you.
“What do I have to do then to get you to stay?” It was a dumb question.
“Run away with me.” You said, extending your hand out towards him. The question was simple, straightforward, yet was like a ticking bomb in your hands.
A contemplative look in his eyes, deep seated emotions he swore he would never deal with again came bubbling back into his chest; taking a tight grip on itself, as he had to physically stop himself from shaking.
He couldn’t allow himself to take your hand; not when he still had ambitions, dreams, and goals to fulfill here.
He pulled back—You knew he would—That was the answer you needed. The outcome you both knew would happen. 2 weeks, that was all it took for Sae Itoshi to fall inexplicably in love with a strange girl who wanted nothing more than to stare at paintings.
14 days, for his feelings to fester so deeply in his heart that he didn’t know who he was without you. 336 hours, for every hour of theirs to be so deeply ingrained in his mind that his thoughts replayed those same hours every night.
Yet, 5 minutes was all it took for it to come crashing down on him.
It was only when he was back at his apartment, it was silent. Eerily so, without the music you listened to thrumming against the walls, or the shuffle of feet around the apartment as you made your way around as if it were second nature to you. It was duller, the walls were more monotonous than ever.
Was this the same color you saw when you first came to his apartment—was it as grey, and dark as it did now? Then, when did you come into his life and change it all? His gaze lowered at the thought, and he buried his palms into his head.
He asked around at the bank you worked in. Your boss said that you had given your two weeks notice for your resignation. That only solidified the gnawing in his mind as he slumped back into his couch.
Time moved on, faster than he could count. Rather, he had lost the ability to track time, not like how he used to. Numbers aside from playmaking simply compiled up in his mind. It had been long since you left his side. He wasn’t even sure if you were still in Madrid.
He doubted that you would’ve stayed. Maybe you finally had pursued your life long dream. His gaze lingered on the bright moon sky above, wondering if you were also looking up at that very same moon with him.
It was the silent conversations you two would have, only staring back deeply into his eyes. When you both were so connected with one another, yet it was that very same connection that pulled you two apart. Maybe it would have worked if you and Sae were a bit more clueless; a bit more ignorant of one another.
Sadly, that sort of luxury never came. You, and Sae would stand hand in hand with one another knowing—expecting—of when the end would come; that this moment would never last. Not in their futures, not in the futures they wanted.
He was rooted onto the pitch with his cleats never taking itself off the grassy fields; You would never be held down, and not even by the ground itself. The rumors slowly fizzled out until it had become a short phase. All of it was then replaced with his achievements which made headlines and headlines with each success.
It was as if you were simply wiped off the face of the earth, and it was only Sae who could remember. That thought made him all the more determined to make sure your memory would live on with him, and maybe—just maybe, he would be able to face you knowing he’d be ready to let you go again.
Then, he looked up at the expanse of the city, the noise became null and void. The world kept moving on even without you there, which only made your absence sting even more in his heart. He hadn’t expected for whatever the both of you had to stay; just as how the feeling was fleeting all the same. But, maybe just maybe, a piece of his heart was left wherever you were.
Somewhere he would never be able to reach.
Back to The Sky, and Sea.