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When the reddish beams reached her eye, she already knew how deep she was in a shit.
-"Rao, not yet."
This time, she knew what was coming, so she fought back, squeezing her eyes shut, staggering away from the DEO team swarming around her. With difficulty, her hand pressed against her earpiece, she could feel her veins burning beneath her skin. Her other hand searched for a partition to lean on as she finally delivered the bad news.
-“Sorry” Kara stifles a groan. An intense headache overwhelms her as she stops herself from saying, “I’m bored to death, I’m outta here.”
-“Supergirl, what’s going on?”
Her sister’s voice holds her attention for a moment, just long enough for her to say “Red.”
-“What?”
Beneath her skin, she can feel her blood boiling. She restrains herself from banging her head against the walls when she hears that voice telling her how “stupid" her sister is.
-“Supergirl?” The voice is hesitant. The Kryptonian knows she’s worried just from the slight, almost unintelligible tremor. She should want to reassure her, but only a husky laugh escapes her lips, while the persistent burning sensation coursing through her body becomes pleasant.
-“Oh Alex, really?” Supergirl didn’t need her earpiece to hear her sister’s breath catch. “Red wasn’t enough for you? You want a second clue?” Only silence reached her ears, apart from the agents’ boots pounding on the warehouse’s concrete floor, clearly about to deploy a DEO team to arrest her. “Apparently you don’t need another clue. Good for you, sis. Maybe you’re not as dumb as I thought.”
-“Supergirl, if you have something to say, come say it to my face.”
-“I have nothing to say, at least, nothing I want to say to you.” In reality, Kara had a lot to say to her sister, but she was far too scared to do it. And although the red kryptonite made Kara do many things she would never have done otherwise, kryptonite couldn't create thoughts or emotions; it drew from what already existed. “You should move your toys out of my way. Wouldn't it be a shame if I had to break them because of you?”
The hero beamed with pride at her choice of words, knowing that her sister would never risk the lives of her team.
-“Do you hear that?” Again, no answer comes to her, but it doesn’t matter because she knows Officer Danvers is listening. “Of course you can’t hear anything, you’re just a human being after all. I hear everything, from children playing in the park down the street to a woman crying as her partner beats her.” For the first time, the other woman tries to interrupt what can now be called a monologue, but the blonde won’t let her. “But you know what’s most interesting to hear? The rumors along the corridors, the incessant whispers coming from all sides, the moans behind closed doors. Do you want to know what they have in common?”
Alex would like to say no.
-"Tell me."
Although she agrees, she doesn't care for a second about the answer, yet she waits.
-"My name, the name Supergirl is on everyone's lips, I am sought after, awaited, desired." Alex can hear a giggle before the Kryptonian finally finishes, "Glorify."
-“Supergirl, maybe a lot of people do it, but not me. When I have you in front of me, you’ll get your ass kicked.”
The blonde laughed loudly, echoing through the warehouse, which had been empty for a while now.
-“No.” Her tone was stern and cold again. “You won’t do anything like that. You’re far too weak for that.”
If someone had been there, they might have seen the hero hesitate. There was a desire within her to continue talking with her sister, but there was this other, darker side to her that found her sister boring and just wanted to silence her.
-"Don't waste your time trying to find me. You don't know me well enough to avoid facing defeat."
-"I'll be there in five minutes. Stay where you are!"
-"You have no right to give me orders, neither you nor anyone else."
The earpiece was thrown aside, creating a shrill crackling sound in the other one. The blonde laughed to herself as she heard her sister swear at the wheel when she ripped out her own earpiece.
She quickly regained her composure; she had things to do, and the red kryptonite didn't last forever. Her cloak fell to the ground and her boots were removed. With a sigh, she abandoned her belongings; it was the only way to avoid being hunted.
Kara could have gone to many places: the Fortress of Solitude, Catco, Noonan, her apartment, or the alien bar. There were many locations, but only one stood out: L-corps.
Kara had few repressed desires, but they were significant:
"Recognition" was what made her a self-absorbed woman, obsessed with glory under the influence of red kryptonite.
"Honesty" not that Kara wasn't honest, but she was afraid of being honest, afraid of hurting someone, so she postponed the fateful moment as long as possible. When she finally took the plunge, she circled, hesitated, stammered. The red kryptonite took away that fear. The truth hurts, that's a fact, and it wasn't her fault.
"Seduction" her desire wasn't to be able to seduce just anyone like Poison Ivy. She simply wanted to be more than just a blushing, speechless mess who couldn't manage more than two words when she tried to say something romantic.
She was already famous as Supergirl, she didn't need to look any further, except perhaps as Kara Danvers.
She could have been honest when she was on the phone with Alex, confessing that sometimes she missed her planet more than she cared to admit, that she didn't understand Earthlings' sexual orientation, but that, if she really had to call it that, she was pansexual and madly in love with her best friend, and that she hated the beer her always bought her whenever they went to the bar together. But she didn't, because she knew the DEO would quickly put an end to these newfound "powers."
So, seduction was the only option. For far too long, she'd had a crush on Lena, feelings she'd never been able to express. Supergirl was going to change that.
And nothing could stop her from going to L-Corps.
Obviously, she didn't get the welcome she was hoping for, since she landed on the balcony without even checking if Lena was busy. It was selfish of her, she knew it, but she was Supergirl, who could blame her?
-"Excuse me" the businesswoman said, getting up and approaching the superheroine with a slightly disapproving frown. "What are you doing here?" The blonde smiled, a smile that was far too amused, far too pinched and mocking, and that was all it took for the billionaire to understand that there was a problem with her friend. So she turned around and looked at the two men still sitting in the two armchairs facing her desk. “I’m sorry, but I have to cut our interview short. My secretary will arrange for you to meet as soon as possible so that we can finish our conversation, if you don’t mind.”
Lena walked to her office door, opening it wide and taking care to shake hands firmly but not too tightly, with a polite smile.
-"Jess, could you reschedule these gentlemen as soon as possible? And move my meetings to tomorrow morning: the one with the marketing team at 9:00 and the one with the researchers at 11:00. If I'm still busy when you finish work, leave a message for Kara to cancel our lunch of tomorrow." Her secretary already had her pen uncapped, searching her boss's planner for a slot that might accommodate the two men facing her. "Thank you, Jess."
-"My pleasure, Miss Luthor."
When the door closed behind her, she turned back to the hero, who was now sitting in Lena's chair, her feet…bare? On her desk, with an arrogant smile, she let her eyes drop from Lena's face to the young woman's heels, pausing on her chest before meeting her best friend's brown eyes again.
-"You look absolutely beautiful." Lena remained unmoved by the compliment. This woman had nothing to do with Supergirl, and even less with Kara.
-"If that's all you're here for, you can leave. I have work to do."
-“Come on, you just canceled your appointments for the rest of the afternoon.” The blonde sat up straight in the chair, playfully swiveling it to face the panoramic view through the CEO’s office windows. “Don’t lie like that, you’re worth so much more than that.”
-“My job isn’t to hold meetings.” Lena was annoyed. She could see that Supergirl wasn’t herself, but what could she do? How different was Kara right now? What leeway did she have to avoid being thrown off the roof of her building? “And you, Supergirl, don’t you have people to save?”
-“What do you think I’m doing?” She stands up, and that’s when Lena realizes the hero’s cape is also missing from her shoulders. “I’m saving you from these arrogant jerks.”
-“You look like an arrogant jerk right now.”
For a brief moment, the Kryptonian’s face is devoid of all emotion, but slowly the CEO can see her friend reconsider behind the hero’s pupils. Perhaps there’s still a bit of Kara behind this provocative attitude, so she continues.
-“What are you actually doing here, Supergirl?” And even though she wasn’t confident, and was even a little scared, Lena tried her best not to show it. “Without boots and a cape, it’s very unprofessional of you.” The blonde burst out laughing, approaching the other woman with superhuman speed.
-“Mmh” the Kryptonian pretended to think, placing her index finger on Lena’s temple, running it along her face, tracing her jawline in the heavy silence. “This isn’t a professional visit.” A mocking smile stretched across her lips. “With you, nothing can ever truly be professional, you know why?”
Lena crossed her arms, never taking her eyes off Kara: “No, but you're going to have a field day tell me.”
-“You know me so well” the blonde cooed, circling Lena, trying to capture every tiny detail of her silhouette, inspecting each little heartbeat, each shiver, contraction, and breath of the brunette. Kara had always been absorbed by the slightest sound her best friend made, but she was respectful, she knew how to behave, except when red kryptonite coursed through every cell of her body. “Look at you.” Lena jumped when a finger slid along her skin, exposed by her backless dress. “So beautiful, intelligent, selfless.” The hand landed flat on her back, and although Lena had always wanted Kara to be that gentle and sensual with her, this touch made her feel sick. “So sweet” Kara walked away, and although she had wished from the first moment where Supergirl arrived would just stop, she missed the warmth that radiated from the hero. It was the only thing besides their physical appearance that was similar to Kara's.
-“Kara is a incapable!” The tone hardened, her face closed, and Lena could see the real anger. This wasn't some ploy to make her believe they were two different people, as was often the case. “She's a coward. What's the point of having powers, being as powerful as a goddess, and being terrified of her?” Supergirl gestured vaguely toward Luthor, who raised an eyebrow, now more curious than terrified. “She's so stupid, all that wasted time.” Supergirl moved closer again, leaving far too little space. “Her fucking good conscience” the blonde smiled, taking Lena's chin between her thumb and forefinger. The CEO didn't move, knowing full well it was pointless.
-“What do you mean?”
-“All this crap about ‘I’m her best friend, I don’t want to risk losing her, I’m a liar, I don’t deserve her, Lena is too good for me’ YOU’RE A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!” Lena wanted to pull away, but even though Kara wasn’t hurting her, she held her tight enough to be unable to move. “Yeah, Kara is boring as hell, so what? Supergirl is here and I’m awesome.”
Supergirl leaned in, gently pressing her lips to Lena’s far too pale skin just millimeters from the corner of her mouth. Kara released her, walking away, barely taking the time to observe Lena’s surprised face before turning her back on her.
-“Between the two of us, we could enslave the world.”
If you asked Lena, she really hated this version of Kara.
-“That’s not what you want” Lena said. Kara has always been sweet, helpful, and generous. She’s always fought for everyone’s freedom and equality. She would never have considered such a thing.
-“You’re right” she said, and her mocking, insolent smile reappeared as she moved closer. “What I’d like is to take this off you.” Her finger was stuck in the middle of Lena’s chest, pointing at her dress. “You have no idea what I’d like to do to you.”
Lena took a step back, increasingly aware of what Supergirl had truly come here for.
-"Perhaps you can show it to me" the blonde's face lit up, ready to take what she desired, but a hand intervened between them, making her stop. "But you won't have anything from me until the effects of the red kryptonite wear off."
-“Stop you're bullshit!” Supergirl lunged at her determinedly, Lena’s back slamming into a wall hard enough to leave a nasty bruise. “You want this?” Lena clenched her jaw, turning her face away as the blonde’s lips pressed against her ear. “Come on, darling, let yourself go.” The blonde sought Lena’s lips, but the brunette kept her lips pursed, her face averted, hoping it was a nightmare she would wake up from. “Give in to your desires, who wouldn’t want me?” It was obviously a rhetorical question; she wasn’t expecting an answer except for Lena’s lips against hers.
-“Stop it, it’s Kara. The only person I desire is Kara, okay!”
The shock of these words gave the CEO the opportunity to break free from the Kryptonian's grasp.
-"What?" And for the first time, Lena felt like she was facing her true friend, not a monster devoid of compassion and justice. "You prefer Kara? Why?" Her tone was disgusted and filled with pity.
-"You won't get anything from me as long as Kryptonite has an effect on you."
-"You-" Supergirl seemed disoriented. "Kara has no confidence, she's clumsy, a complete idiot, it makes no sense! Look at me! Look at us, two beautiful and powerful women, why would you waste your time with a timid journalist? It's stupid." But she was unable to elaborate further on her thoughts or ask for any further explanation; the door flew open, men fell onto the balcony, leaving ropes dangling in the air.
-“Recess is over, Supergirl” her sister smiled at her from a green-glow uniform.
-“Where’s my ass-kicking? I knew it was just empty talk. Human cowardice is so predictable.”
Alex rolled her eyes. The first time she’d encountered Supergirl infected with red kryptonite, she’d been hurt, but after a good talk, everything had been sorted out with Kara. But now, with this being the fourth or fifth time it’s happened, it’s just exhausting.
-“Oh, shut up.”
A fist landed squarely on Kara's cheekbone. At the same time, an agent seized the opportunity to slap a pair of handcuffs on her, specially designed for this kind of situation.
-"Get her ready in the van, I'll be there in two minutes."
Alex waited until everyone had left before approaching Lena, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. The DEO agent knew how difficult this first encounter with his sister's side of the story could be.
-"Did she hurt you?"
-“No” Lena said, stepping away to grab an empty glass of Scotch, which she didn’t immediately refill. “Everything’s fine.”
-“I wasn’t talking about physical injury, Lena” the Ceo sighed. She hadn’t spent more than 20 minutes locked in with Supergirl, yet she felt as if she’d been drained of all her life force. It wasn’t the first time she’d encountered this kind of behavior, it was awful to say, but she was used to it. What was hard was that it had happened again, and this time it was her best friend’s face she was looking at. Although she managed to separate Kara’s behavior from this version of Supergirl, this event had shaken her to her core.
-“Will she remember this?” She knows Kara; it will take her days to stop feeling needlessly guilty. She was torn; never, ever should someone be forgiven for this kind of act -it was an act of aggression- but at the same time, Kara wasn't in control of her choices. However, it was obvious there was some truth to it.
-“Yes” Alex said, walking away, seeing that Lena needed time alone. “I’ll text you as soon as she wakes up.”
-“Thanks, Alex” the CEO said, already turning away. She was lost; how was she supposed to handle this? Normally, she would have cut this person out of her life without a second thought, but with Kara, it was more complicated, as always. She was Lena Luthor, a scientist, one of the best biologists. She needed to know exactly what red kryptonite was doing. And then, she would act accordingly.
-“Be careful, Lena.”
The young woman ignored her, filling her glass with the strongest alcohol she possessed. When she heard her office door close, she collapsed onto her sofa, downing the dark liquid in one gulp.
[...]
-“Alex, you don’t understand!”
Kara had only woken up about ten minutes earlier, and she was already arguing with her sister, who refused to let her leave.
-“Then explain it to me.”
She wanted it, she really needed to get it out, but she could still picture herself holding Lena tight to keep her from leaving. She tried to kiss her, even though Lena was clear.
She disgusted herself.
-“Sorry, I really have to…” Kara was supposed to run out to the bathroom, but her speed only allowed her to reach the trash can a few steps from the electrocardiogram machine to retrieve the small amount of food and drink still in her stomach.
Alex didn't hesitate for more than a few seconds before grabbing one of the sheets from the bed and settling down beside her patient. She gathered her sister's hair to keep it clean, while gently patting her back.
Kara turned her head toward her older sister, tears welling in her eyes.
-“Alex, I… I didn’t listen to her, she didn’t want to, and I just…” If she’d still had something in her system, she was sure she would have had a second round, but only the sour taste burned her throat. “I… I was going to force her, Alex.”
Alex wasn’t sure she really understood what her sister was talking about, but she nodded slowly, choosing her words carefully.
-“She knows it wasn’t you, Kara. When you talk about it, everything will be alright” her older sister tried to reassure her, getting up with Kara.
-“I can’t even look at myself in the mirror, how am I going to be able to face her?”
Alex refrained from asking how Kara could know that since there wasn't a mirror in the DEO recovery room. its not a moment for jokking.
-"Well, you'll have to find a solution since she should be arriving soon."
The DEO doctor crumpled the stained sheet into a ball and threw it in the laundry basket when she began to hear her sister stirring.
-“What?” Just seconds before, Supergirl had been disgusted and ashamed, but now she was a mixture of anxiety and terror. “I haven’t thought of what I could say to her yet, ha and ho Rao, Alex!” The blonde grimaced, a new realization surfacing in her mind. “She definitely knows I’m Supergirl, please don’t kill me.”
Alex finally allowed herself a laugh. Not that she was making fun of her sister, or that the situation was funny- it wasn’t funny at all. She was going to have a number of things to deal with regarding Lena. But still, the way Kara spoke and approached the situation amused her in a certain way.
-“I’m the one who texted her when you woke up. If I had a problem with that, I wouldn’t have done it.” Although Kara stopped fidgeting, Alex could still see the fear in her eyes. “Kara, please breathe. Everything’s going to be okay, alright?” Everyone nodded their heads. The blonde took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “We both know Lena is smart and understanding, and like you said, ‘you were going to’ you didn’t do anything to her.” Alex gave her a sympathetic smile before taking her in his arms. “No matter what happens, as always, you’ll be okay.”
Alex pulled back far enough to kiss her forehead. “And if anything happens, you know where to find me.”
The blonde nodded silently; she would never be grateful enough to the world and Rao for giving her such a fantastic sister.
-"Thank you" Kara inhaled heavily, summoning what little courage she had left to talk to Lena. "I think she's coming."
-"You think so?"
-"I haven't used my powers, so I'm not 100% sure."
Alex smiled. Of course his sister could recognize Lena's footsteps without needing any special powers.
-"I'll go check it out."
The scientific opened the door and poked his head out. Sure enough, it was Lena, barely two steps away.
-"Hi Lena," Alex smiled a little too broadly, considering what had happened the day before, but Lena didn't mind; she smiled back.
-"Hello Alex, how is our sick friend?"
The agent turned to observe the sick woman in question. Kara shook her head from side to side, her eyes wide, her lips moving silently as if asking him not to answer positively.
-"She's actually doing quite well, just scared like a dog in a thunderstorm."
-"Hé !" the hero quickly exclaimed, stepping towards the door to meet Lena. When she saw her, alone regret lingered on her face. "I'm so sorry, Lena."
The blonde gently reached out, stopping just inches from her friend, unable to touch or even brush against her. “Can I, um, just... I just want to hug you?”
Lena was encouraging as she approached Kara, arms outstretched, and wrapped her arms around the alien. Under Luthor's comforting and without reproach embrace, the journalist didn't care for a second about being seen by her sister, her friends, or any stranger, as tears of relief streamed down her cheeks.
-“I'm so sorry, I wouldn't have…” She took a deep, shaky breath before laughing awkwardly. “I'm the one crying and being comforted, while you're the one who's victim.” The blonde moved away wrapping her arms around herself.
-“It seems we’ve both been victims of red kryptonite, you mean?” Lena corrected, entering the room. “Would you mind giving us five minutes?” Lena asked Alex, who nodded in response and left, closing the door behind them to give them some privacy.
-“I’ve be studying red kryptonite, Kara.” Lena moved close enough to place the tips of her middle and index fingers against the blonde’s forehead. “It’s called the neuroanatomy of emotions; it’s a recent science, it happens in there.” She pressed her two fingers a little harder to emphasize her point. Instead of moving away as she should, she moved closer, letting her index finger glide along Kara’s face.
Kara didn’t even dare move, far too focused on the soft skin and the soothing voice reaching her. “You have emotions and feelings that allow you to respect values and principles. Red kryptonite acts on these emotions; it makes them disappear.” This time, Lena held Kara’s face between her fingers. The blonde stared at her as if hypnotized, her arms dangling. “It directly impacts your prefrontal cortex. It’s not your fault, unless you want to blame yourself for not telling me anything before?”
And if Kara had any doubts, they vanished the moment Lena's lips gently touched the corner of hers, just as she had the day before.
-"I know it wasn't the best time for me to tell you" Lena added, pulling away from Kara's face, waiting for a response.
-"It certainly wasn't the best way to admit all this, either." Kara gestured vaguely with her hand, indicating both her attraction and her true identity.
-“Oh Kara” Léna said, trying hard not to laugh, but an amused smile still crept across her lips. “I’ve known for a long time that you’re Supergirl.” The news seemed to almost frighten the journalist, so Léna quickly added, “It’s pretty easy to notice the similarities when you’re a little too obsessed with one of the two identities.” Léna bit her lip to stop herself from smiling even more, especially when she saw the blonde blush.
-“I feel so bad about myself. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. If I had been honest, none of this would have happened… Rao, I can’t imagine what would have happened if Alex hadn’t intervened”.
-"You were insistent, okay, maybe a little abrupt too, but I thought about it all night. It's so easy for you to take whatever you want, but you weren't there for something physical. It was obvious you wanted to be desired, you insisted on getting a confession. Then when I mentioned Kara, you stopped. That's clear proof you wouldn't have gone any further. You seemed rather frustrated. You know you were on the verge of dissociative disorder?"
Kara seemed embarrassed by the analysis, because it seemed logical. For weeks she had been trying to acknowledge her feelings, hoping they were reciprocated and that they could go further. Since kryptonite only uses what already exists, she would never have gone any further without Lena's agreement.
-“I’m still sorry, could we try again?” Kara suggested hesitantly. “I was planning to tell you, you know, I didn’t know when, but I had a plan, so if you’re willing, we could do that.”
-“We could do that” Lena agreed. “And we’ll have to have a discussion about your self-confidence issues too” added the owner of L-Corp “and this whole ‘enslave the world together’ thing.”
-“Oops, that must be the idea I had” Kara admitted. “You know, a Super and a Luthor together would be crazy, in a good way!” the blonde quickly added. “I mean, everything we’ve already done together, and everything we could do, and now that there are no more secrets, no more limits… Oh Rao, I absolutely have to tell you about Krypton! I’m sure you’ll have tons of ideas for how to use that science wisely.”
-“Okay, let’s make a list: a first date, talking about your insecurities, explaining Kryptonian science to me, and what else?”
Kara thought deeply. There were many things she needed to do, but of everything she'd said during her "red" moment, one thing hadn't yet been addressed.
-"There's one thing I need to do, but it doesn't concern you." Supergirl smiled tenderly at her, and with lingering hesitation, she leaned down to kiss Lena's cheek—again. It might have seemed slow, but with this situation, she wanted to do things right; she wanted Lena to feel confident. "I'll be back soon. You should go get something to eat and relax for a bit."
[...]
-"What do you think you're doing?" Supergirl asks, her hand encircling the wrist of a man in his forties. She glances at the young woman, who looks at least ten years younger. She's crying silently, half-covering her face. Kara can hear her heart pounding wildly; she's terrified.
-"Hé! What are you doing? Get out of my house!" When the heroine replies, she looks at the woman wiping away her tears and tries to stand up straight.
-"I'm making sure you can never lay a hand on her again." The brunette manages a smile, trying her best to show her gratitude. She knows Supergirl doesn't usually intervene in domestic matters, so she manages a barely audible "thank you" that only the Kryptonian can hear.
-"Fucking shit, you should be dealing with those thugs who roam our streets like cockroaches instead of wasting your time with that bitch with a negative IQ!"
That was all it took for Kara to knock the man unconscious. She threw him over her shoulder, still unsure of what to do with him.
-"Justice is slow and fleeting. You'll have a few days to gather your things. When you're done Lena Luthor asked, tell her you're here on behalf of Supergirl. She'll help you start your life over, far away from him."
-"I don't know how to make you—"
-"Be happy and find someone who treats you well."
The young woman nodded, determined to enjoy this new life the heroine of National City had given her. Kara climbed out the window she'd used to get in. She hesitated between locking him up at the DEO for several days or dropping him off somewhere, without money or papers, in another country or continent.
Supergirl kidnapping a man and hiding him at the DEO would be a great story to sell newspapers, but it wasn't certain her sister would appreciate it.
The decision was made.
-"What do you prefer? Canada? Mexico? Maybe a European country, Italy is pretty nice. mmh, no. You don't deserve such a cool country. Ho! I should drop you off in Paris, on a crowded metro at rush hour, that should be fun."
[...]