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"Care to dance, beautiful?"
Ochako looked over, and saw none other than Himiko. Her mind immediately latched onto the familiar face; Ochako always hated being in loud places, especially when the place is unknown to her, but having someone familiar with her always helped.
It took a moment for Ochako to realize that, wait, Himiko had been missing for four months. What? The fuck? While Ochako is about to ask the girl exactly that, she suddenly gets pushed from behind.
And–because this is a fanfic and I as the author can make it as cheesy as I want–Ochako falls directly and practically slams into Himiko, which leaves her mortified. She's thinking of how to apologize when Himiko simply laughs and asks, "you ok?"
Ochako can't do anything but nod, since shes still in shock from simply seeing the girl once more after all this time. But Himiko doesn't remember who Ochako is...?
"Do I know you?" Ochako asks, playing dumb, and hoping that Himiko laughs and asks what she means, that she's her girlfriend. Please, please please pl-
"Nah, but you're really cute. Would you wanna dance?" Himiko replies simply, "Not to say that you're just your looks, of course. But uh... It's a party, and I don't really know anyone here. You seem like you might not either, so, would you, maybe, wanna know each other?" She starts to trail off at the end, getting a bit more unsure and nervous of herself.
Ochako, taken back by the confirmation that Himiko has no memory of her, is briefly stunned. But, spending months in a state of confusion and dismay does stuff to you. So, like any person deprived of her partner, she responds with, "Sure."
A quick hand grab and a few steps later, they're now at the dance floor--music blasting, people all around that are doing various things, the smell of something acidic that should probably concern Ochako--and honestly she can't say it doesn't give her a little joy. She knows that Himiko doesn't remember her, but it feels good to pretend. To finally, after months of worry, see her girlfriend again, mostly unharmed.
"What's your name?" Himiko asks over the noise, and Ochako decides that for just a little bit, she’ll simply let herself be completely unknown to this new version of Himiko.
"Ochako," She replies plainly, not adding her last name since she's used to Himiko using her given.
"Cute name, I'm Himiko. Can't say my last name, though." Himiko answers, and Ochako wonders why she can't say her last name. Turns out the loudness of the environment is getting to her, because she apparently said that aloud. And for some reason, Himiko answers. "Don't remember it."
Ochako knows that it makes sense, but still, she's curious. "What do you mean?"
Himiko woke up in the middle of an alleyway, completely confused, covered in something that feels sticky and smells horrible. Her head really hurts; that's odd. She tries to remember why she's here, but comes up with nothing. Like, nothing at all.
She starts to freak out, like a normal person, because what the heck where are all the memories-? Himiko just manages to calm herself down a bit. She takes count of what she can remember instead; her name is Himiko, she can't remember a last name, she's 26, her birthday is August 7th, and a few other minor details about herself and some basic information she probably learned… somewhere.
Himiko can remember an awful lot about blood though, that's probably concerning.
She gets up, starts moving, and doesn't stop.
During the next several months, which she pretends never happened because it was a horrible experience, Himiko manages to find a place to stay, a job using a fake name because she needed a last name, and starts to try to relearn some of what she doesn't remember.
She finds out that she cannot remember anything, pretty much, and it's just really odd. She tries many things to try to remember things, hell she even sees a hypnosis therapist, but she isn't able to figure out anything. It's wild. But she eventually just gets used to it; this is her life, and she's going to make as many new memories as possible.
Today, she decided to go to a bar-club fusion thing, and ended up getting invited to a party that was happening directly after she was planning on leaving by some random young adults that she was talking with. Ok, might as well go, she thought, and that's how she finds herself at this random place, knowing absolutely no one, and trying to potentially find someone to talk to.
Across the room, Himiko spots a very pretty girl, who she immediately wants to talk to. They seem quite uncomfortable, though she presumes its either because they're awkward or don't know anyone here. Or whoever they do know is occupied. You never really know when it comes to parties.
So, with the social understanding of a mature toddler, Himiko goes up to them.
"Care to dance, beautiful?" She asks, and thinks that's something that people might lead with. Again, social understanding of a mature toddler. She has also never remembered actually walking up to people and asking them to dance, which probably allows her brain to view whatever that was as a socially normal and acceptable question.
The girl looks up at Himiko, and she thinks that the girl might say yes. They seem confused, which Himiko supposes might be a normal response, but eventually, after about half a minute of the brunette oddly staring at Himiko with a myriad of emotions passing through her face, she agrees.
She says their name after Himiko asks, and Himiko says hers too. Then they ask about her last name, and Himiko answers. "Don't remember it."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know, but I just haven't ever remembered it. Or, I might've, but I had an accident a few months ago that made me forget, like, a lot."
The girl stays silent for a bit, but eventually just lets out a quiet, "oh..."
Himiko sees this as a good response, and starts to attempt to dance. They are on a dance floor, after all. Unsure of what to actually do and having absolutely no idea how to dance, Himiko opts to just look around and copy others.
Ochako lets out a small laugh as Himiko tries to dance, and they start weirdly moving together. It's likely not an actual dance or anything, but Himiko likes it. And it seems like Ochako does too.
After a few moments though, Ochako looks up--she's a bit shorter than Himiko is--at her and asks; "do you not know how to dance?"
Himiko feels her cheeks heat up from being called out so quickly, and bashfully replies, "no.. not really..." Before starting to get even more embarrassed at the fact she asked someone, especially someone this pretty, to dance, and having no idea how to actually do that.
"Just copy me," Ochako says instead of laughing at Himiko, which makes her feel a bit better. It's a very simple thing actually Ochako picked a dance that could be learned by a child, and it makes Himiko feel a bit better about being unable to remember how to dance.
Dancing is easier than Himiko thought, and is actually somewhat likeable. It's similar to what others are doing near them, but it's somewhat different. It's pretty much just one step forward, one step back, and that's it. They're hands are interlocked around their upper torso areas, Himiko realizes, and she gets a little flustered at being so close to someone so enchanting.
Himiko looks at Ochako and something inside her heart starts to shift; she doesn't know what people feel when developing a crush, or falling in love, but she feels like it could potentially be just that. Something about Ochako is nagging at her too, influencing that feeling. Something that's almost magnetic for Himiko.
She looks familiar, Himiko realizes suddenly, and that is... Odd. Because in the very small amount of memories that Himiko has, Ochako is not in a single one. And, having the limited memories Himiko has, she practically never forgets anything. That's something she's somewhat proud of. So, how does she find her familiar with no recollection whatsoever of this girl?
Maybe it's just déjà vu, or maybe it's someone she saw online--doubtful, since Himiko still remembers practically everyone she's seen online--or, it could be a hint to her past life.
"You look familiar," Himiko blurts out after a few moments of thought.
Ochako jolts upwards to meet Himiko in the eyes, and she feels slightly bad for making the girl jump.
"I do?" She asks, and Himiko can pick up a tiny hint of hope in the girl's voice. How odd is that?
"A bit." Himiko replies, and they go back to semi-silence. The crowd around them and the blaring music are making actual quiet impossible, but Himiko finds she doesn't mind the sounds.
Ochako looks up at Himiko once more after a minute, and looks like she's analyzing her. It makes Himiko feel a bit defensive, honestly, but then the girl simply says; "Toga."
That name sounds like she's heard it before, just like the name Ochako does, but it feels more connected to herself than she thinks it should be. Nonetheless, Himiko is at a loss to what that means.
"Toga?" Himiko repeats, confused, and Ochako simply nods.
One step forward, one step back, the familiar beat they move to is a calming notion for Himiko. It's keeping her grounded, even as her mind swirls around the name, dissecting it, as if trying to remember something it had forgotten both a long time ago and very recently.
Himiko shakes her head lightly, getting out of her rampant thoughts. She should stay focused on the here and now, not the past. Not the memories she lost.
So she continues to dance, albeit oddly and horribly, but throughout the current song that's playing she keeps thinking back to how Ochako looks familiar.
Himiko almost subconsciously pulls Ochako closer, just a bit, and starts really thinking, even though she told herself to stay present. The most familiar feature of the girl is her eyes; Himiko first saw them across the room when she spotted Ochako, and hasn't been able to forget them since.
"Tell me, why are you so familiar?" Himiko asks rhetorically, staring intently at Ochako. The girl starts squirming slightly, but Himiko, about to release them from her grip in case that's what makes them uncomfortable, actually realizes that Ochako is squirming closer to Himiko. It makes a nostalgic feeling swirl inside her, and for the nth time of the night, Himiko doesn't know why.
Ochako, Himiko realizes, is tearing up. She takes one of her hands out of Ochakos and wipes a little bit of the tears from the girl's eyes, and she doesn't even flinch. As if Himiko had done this before, as if this is something the girl had had happen to her before. It makes Himiko slightly more confused and also starts to get her ever so slightly worried.
Why would Ochako be so comfortable around a stranger?
The thought comes to her and Himiko immediately zeroes in on the expression and body language of the girl, while simultaneously slipping her hand back into Ochakos. It's true, the brunette girl looks practically fully at ease while being half held by Himiko, who is a stranger to her.
Himiko realizes that she feels something small on the other girl's hand, and looks at it to see that it's a ring. Perhaps an engagement or wedding ring, Himiko isn't fully sure. But she looks back to her hand on the opposite side, and sees the same pattern.
"Our rings," Himiko says, voice coming somewhat flat--though that was accidental--"they're the same."
Ochako glances up at her, then to the rings on both of their hands. "Hm." She answers, sounding somewhat choked up, "mine is a promise ring."
"A promise ring?"
"It was for me and my girlfriend. We didn't know if we'd ever be able to get married, so we promised ourselves to each other, without getting married yet."
Something about that feels like she should know that, like she should remember that. Himiko glances at her own ring, and her mind zeroes in on the exact same design on hers and on Ochakos.
"Toga," Ochako starts, and Himiko's mind gets a pang of emotions from being called that after so long. Wait, what? "Do you ever remember having a partner?"
Despite the feelings of familiarity at all of this, Himiko ends up replying with a slightly uncertain, "mm... No, why?"
Ochako looks sad, and barely away from tears. But they don't cry, and for some reason Himiko knows that they don't like to cry.
One step forward, one step back, the remedy that keeps bringing Himiko out of her mind and back to the present. Though it's getting increasingly hard to.
A sudden, familiar urge to simply hold Ochako comes over Himiko. She doesn't know why. Though she's found people pretty before, she--in her new life--hasn't actually kissed anyone or been in a relationship again. Again? That's the word again. Again. Again. Again. Again again, why can't she remember what happened before and what's happening again? Again…
Himiko decided fuck it, and smiles. If she's going to break down over this later, she might as well enjoy this right now.
Giving some time for the girl to pull away or react, Himiko leans her head down ever so slightly, staring at the other girl's eyes, her hair, her mouth, tracing her face and tracing her body. It's all too familiar, and though Himiko is always stopping herself from staring like this at strangers, with Ochako it feels so, so much different. Like a permission given so long ago, forgotten, but remembered–even though not consciously.
Ochako doesn't pull away, and actually gravitates a bit closer to Himiko, so she asks, as a precaution just in case, "can I kiss you?"
It might sound cheesy, it might sound weird for that question to be asked, but Himiko asks it either way. Ochako doesn't reply, but does nod, and Himiko pulls the girl closer, just a bit, and plants a kiss to the girl's lips.
Something about the way they–not even just their physical bodies, to Himiko it feels like more– seem to slot together so perfectly brings a sense that it's not a mere coincidence.
After they pull away, Himiko freaks out momentarily, because she has no idea if that was ok, she probably pushed boundaries--even without social memory, she knows that can happen--and what if-
But instead of her spiraling further, Ochako simply grabs her, pulls her just a bit closer once more like Himiko did, and kisses her again. Himiko somewhat melts into it, though not literally, and feels Ochako let go of her hand on the right side to fiddle with her hair.
Though Himiko has no idea that she's done it before, she remembers something. A feeling, a voice, a pair of eyes that match Ochakos much too closely. A feeling that she can't get out of.
The second kiss lasts a few seconds longer than the first, and when they pull away it feels much better than the concern of the first one. Himiko just stares at Ochako, and Ochako just stares back.
Somewhere deep in her mind, a few memories, a few bits of information that could lead her to finding her past life, come unhinged from the blockade that her past life is stuck behind. And all Himiko can see and feel and remember is Ochako.
"Do I know you?" Himiko involuntary whispers, still staring into Ochako's beautiful brown eyes that overwhelm her sight and mind in the most familiar, best way possible.
Ochako smirks, and Himiko really just wants to know if they did know each other before.
"That depends, do you remember me?"
And Himiko, though she can't remember the girl exactly, can't say that she doesn't remember the love she's now sure she had for the brunette in her past life.
"I can't say I do," she says, and watches Ochako's face fall, "but I know that I love you. I think." She adds the last bit just in case the first part is too weird, and if she's wrong about this whole theory.
Ochako smiles, softer this time, and simply answers, "ok."
Some moments pass and they go back to their normal pattern of whatever they were doing before, when Himiko randomly says, "I'm sorry if I caused you pain in my past life.”
Ochako, thankfully, isn't angered by that. Infact, she laughs. Himiko feels a hand interlock with her own, and now they're returned to both holding each other's hands.
"You didn't cause me pain," Ochako says with a soft voice, and it makes Himiko happy. At least she didn't hurt them, whoever they were to Himiko, in her past life.
Ochako stares at Himiko like she's looked at her for years, and Himiko feels bad, because "I'm not the person you knew.” She needs to tell Ochako that, so they know it's useless to try and find the person they used to know.
"I know," Ochako answers, looking at her the same way.
Himiko can't say that the way she gazes feels wrong. Infact, it's the most correct she's felt in a while, when kissing Ochako. It's such an odd thing, but Himiko doesn't think she wants it to change.
"I might forget you again," Himiko warns, and Ochako hums but doesn't say anything else. The girl instead leans closer to Himiko, kisses her one more time, and then smiles.
Himiko doesn't know who Ochako is, or who she was to her in her past life. Hopefully the girl never forgot her, but based on the events that happened in the past hour, Himiko's pretty sure she didn't.
And even with all of the warnings she's been trying to give, all the ways to tell Ochako that she's a different person entirely than whoever she knew before, Himiko can't help it.
"I don't think I ever forgot my love for you." Himiko says with finality.
Ochako doesn't reply, just stays staring at her with that look that says she knows who Himiko is. The warmth from their interlocked hands, the way their bodies synced by now due to pure muscle memory, all of it comes crashing down into some simple explanation.
A promise is a promise.