Chapter Text
Before anyone can talk a low, steady "hiss" in the background is heard and Cissie - donning her old Arrowette costume just for the night, likely strong armed into it if any of them were to guess - walks on stage
The rest of young justice including traya-red tornados adoptive daughter-and red tornado and excluding empress - bc she has toddlers and couldnt find a babysitter - are seen peeking out of the backstage putting on make up, talking or doing what not for the show
“Hello ladies and gentleman ”cissie says ” And welcome to the fundraiser for the NEON KNIGHTS PROGRAM“
Cheering and clapping can be heard after
“I am Arownette,i will be serving as the announcer for tonights fundraiser”
The Neon Knights program chose Alien Stage for our show because its darker themes about pressure, identity, loneliness, and unhealthy expectations can resonated deeply with unfortunetly many of the kids in the program, and the cast hoped the performance would make struggling teens feel seen rather than alone.”
“Also because it fit you all concerningly well,” Red tornado adds helpfully from the side of the stage.
“Secret related to Sua’s loneliness,” Traya adds to her adoptive fathers comment. “SB related WAY too hard to Till, Wondergirl connected with the pressure and expectations stuff, and Impluse somehow fits Mizi “
“And Rob fits all of them concerningly well, like a secret love child composed entirely of unresolved psychological issues”
The voices backstage were quiet but Clark, who has super hearing heard everything and relayed everything to others
“…Why does that explain alot,”dick says slowly.
Beside him, barry points toward the stage.
“To be fair,.the team is the same team that blew up a national monument”
“That should have been the warning sign,”Wally agrees.
Bruce closes his eyes briefly.
“I should have stopped this production."
“You say that”Jason says”As if you could have had”
To that Bruce has no argument to that
Cissie clears her throat
“ANYWAYS Yes, we DID get permission from the creator. No, we do NOT take credit for any of her works. They are entirely her creation. The only thing we made here is our acting, us shaping the characters a bit more comfortably around ourselves and the cast dynamics and emotional warfare.”
From somewhere backstage, Greta giggles. Traya immediately joins in.
“You say that like you didn’t bully half the cast into agreeing to this,” Kon deadpans
“I did NOT bully anyone,” Cissie shoots back instantly.-without the microphone- “I merely suggested psychological warfare in musical form.”
“You handed Impulse the playlist and said ‘this could ruin your life but in a fun way,’” Greta adds through laughter.
“Details.”
In the audience, Dick is trying not to laugh. Chosing to forget what had happened a few seconds ago purely because of the teams dynamic
“This is either going to be amazing or emotionally catastrophic.”
“Both,” jason says immediately.
“I still cannot believe rr funded this entire production himself,” Clark says.
“He’s rich rich ” Jason replies. “Of course he did.”
Near the aisle, daimian looks deeply unimpressed.
“Drake spent thousands to emotionally traumatize civilians through interpretive singing.”
“ That tracks,” Jason says.
Meanwhile, Cass watches the stage with complete focus.
Next to the Batfamily section, clark looks mildly concerned.
“I thought this was supposed to be a musical.”
“It IS a musical just with emotional warfare.”
Nearby, diana smiles calmly.
“I admire their dedication to performance.”
Dick snorts.
“Diana, one of them rehearsed for sixteen hours straight.”
“That is either commitment or a cry for help.”
“Probably both,” Barbara mutters through the comms, having a bit of time since gotham is slow today only a few petty criminals and gons so far
“Also,” Cissie continues loudly, “some relationships are a bit different. Sua and Mizi are more sibling-coded here, and Hyuna and Luka are more like... whatever the hell Tim and Cassie had going on after half our friend group died and before they resurrected .”
A loud choking noise comes from backstage.
“Oh my god, Cissie,” Cassie says.
“ABSOLUTELY NOT,” Kon immediately follows.
“You cannot just say that and move on!”
“Why not?” Cissie asks.
“Because now they're going to have questions!”
“THEY WERE GOING TO HAVE QUESTIONS ANYWAY,” Cissie shoots back.
“Can we NOT announce our business to the audience?” Kon says.
“You are literally acting in a tragedy built on shit emotional attachment,” Cissie replies. “You lost privacy the second you agreed to this.”
Cassie groans.
“Please stop trying to explain whatever that was to the audience.”
“I'm not explaining it,” Cissie says. “I'm telling the truth.”
“THAT'S WORSE.”
“I regret this,” Kon mutters.
“You say that every rehearsal and still show up,” Cassie points out.
“Because Impulse keeps dragging me back,” Kon whines.
“That sounds like a YOU problem.”
“It's absolutely a ME problem.”
The audience is utterly confused
Then Jason slowly raises a hand.
“I would like the record to show that I understood approximately none of that.”
“Same,” Clark admits.
Dick looks way too amused.
“No, no, I get it.”
“You do?” Diana asks.
“Not remotely. But I get the vibe.”
“That is somehow less helpful,” Cass says.
Near the aisle, Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose.
“Why are they discussing this in front of several hundred people?”
Diana glances toward the stage.
“So are Hyuna and Luka together?”someone in the crowd yells
Backstage, four separate voices immediately yell:
“WE DONT KNOW!”
A beat.
Jason points dramatically toward the curtains.
“See? If FOUR people answered that question, nobody knows what's going on.”
“Honestly,” Dick says, “that's probably the most accurate adaptation choice they've made all night.”
From backstage:
“WE CAN STILL HEAR YOU!”
“GOOD!” Jason yells back.
“Anyways,” Cissie continues before they get behind schedule and the argument continuing “warning. Please do not watch this if you don't like any of the following or are a kid. There's blood,violence, cursing but that's the least of our problem and there's a chance you will cry. The blood is fake, but STILL.”
“Including guns,” Traya adds helpfully from backstage.
“And murder,” Greta says.
“FAKE murder,” Cissie corrects immediately. “Like I said before. Acting. But still do something else if you dont like the warnings.”
At the side of the stage, red tornado stands completely motionless.
“I continue to question why I agreed to supervise this production,” he says flatly.
“Because you love us!” Bart yells from backstage.
“I have found no evidence supporting that claim.”
“For our cast,” Cissie continues dramatically, “Sua is Secret, Mizi is Impluse, Till is SB Hyuna is Wondergirl and PLEASE give condolences to our dear Rob, who has to play TWO characters because we could not figure out a fucking plan and i couldnt have time to .”
“I kinda volunteered,” Tim says immediately from backstage.
“You volunteered so you wouldn't have to do paperwork for the next few months,” Cissie fires back. “ANYWAYS. He’s playing BOTH Ivan and Luka, and warrning he is currently running on like 5 hours of sleep, so please excuse him if he looks slightly dead and wants to kill him self while regreting his life choices and gleeful bc he get to traumatize people and make people cry”
There’s a brief silence from the audience.
Jason slowly turns toward Bruce.
“…What?”
“That is what I said,” Bruce replies immediately.
Dick slowly lowers his head into his hands.
“He’s going to collapse.”
“Little brother jumped out the window instead of sleeping once,” Cass says.
“He’s rich enough for sleep deprivation to become theatrical.”
Bruce closes his eyes briefly.
“I should have intervened earlier.”
“You say that every time, and then barely do anything” Jason replies.
“We are DEFINITELY forcing Rob to sleep after this,” Bart yells.
“Already tried,” Kon says.
“He jumped through a window,” Cassie adds.
“That sounds medically concerning,” Clark mutters.
“Also,” Cissie says, “Note that Luka gets the sightly messy hairstyle. Ivan gets the bit more styled one. We did this so he looks sightly different other than the clothes.”
“And if Rob chooses both hair styles,” Bart announces dramatically, “emotions are about to become SIGNIFICANTLY worse.”
“Especially because of the music,” Greta adds ominously.
“Alright, we’re stalling too much,” Cissie says, clapping her hands. “Final warning again please don’t watch this if you dont like the warnings. There’s blood. Fake blood, but STILL blood. People are also gonna be crying , so please go do something else.”
A beat.
“Anyways,” Cissie grins, “CU THE LIGHTS