Work Text:
It was 11 pm at night. The busy city of Seoul was as usual busy with traffic jams and crowd everywhere.
There sat idol Kim Taehyung in the bed of his apartment, the member of world's most famous boyband 'BTS'.
Being an idol had its own perks but also disadvantages too. Disadvantages as in not getting privacy was the first one. Second would be being scared-- scared of being judged by his millions of fans, every decision or action he does, he thinks about it for a hundred times before confirming it.
He is scared of coming out as his true self to his fans and to the society, a bad feeling always in his heart bugging him and telling him that he'll not be accepted by anyone if he comes out.
His true self as in-- he's gay. Yes, he's gay not straight.
He sees millions of his fans shipping him with themselves, actresses and idol or asking him to get married to a beautiful girl.
Oh he wishes to scream to the world without any fear of being that he was gay-- a gay for Jeon Jungkook.
Yeah, that's the truth. As long as Taehyung can remember he has never felt any spark or love or any damn feelings for anyone except for his Jungkook. So yeah it's a fact that Taehyung is a gay only for his Jungkook.
He's basically Kooksexual.
Jeon Jungkook is Taehyung's fellow group member, maknae of BTS, his lover, his kook, his baby, his world-- basically his everything.
They have been dating for years now and they are the happiest they could have ever been.
They love eachother more than anything else and are the couple goals. They fight too, of course they do-- but no matter what they always keep their ego aside and solve their issues because at the end of the day, both of them knew that they have to be in eachother's arms to feel complete, to feel at peace, to be loved and to feel at home. Every fight made their bond stronger.
They never thought of the consequences when they stared dating, they knew they had to hide it from the outside world and they were keeping up well with the act till now.
There were moments when Jungkook would feel jealous too see someone flirting with his Taehyung and he'd want to rip off their skull and cut their body into pieces but he tried control himself most of the times. Keyword tried (If you know you know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ).
Taehyung would feel jealous too of course when he saw Jungkook talking to much with 97liner friends and not giving him a lot of attention but let's say that he is good at hiding his jealousy sometimes (If you know you know again ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ).
Oh! How desperately both of them want to tell it to the world that they belong to eachother so nobody dares to come between them-- but they can't.
Currently Taehyung was laying on his bed of his apartment in which he lives with Jungkook. He was scrolling mindlessly through his private Twitter account but an article's headline that caught his eyes.
The article's healine:- 'Kpop-American Rapper and singer, Jessi has admitted to have a crush on BTS's Jeon Jungkook. Fans are so happy and have already started to ship them as couples!'
He now sat up properly on his bed reading the article with full concentration. He finished reading it full and now kept his phone aside.
To say that he was hurt would be wrong, he has seen articles like this before many times and everytime he felt like that-- if he was girl their fans might have shipped them together too as couples and loved them like they love Jungkook with other girls.
He knows that fans ship him and Jungkook to as 'Taekook' but more than positive comments, it receives negative comments more like:- 'omg no they are just friends', 'jk look better with lisa', 'tae loves seojoon', 'you are disgusting to ship they as gay', 'taekook are bffs', etc,etc.
Moments like this and many more makes him want to live a life of a normal person-- without this popularity.
If he's given a chance he'd like to reverse back time and meet his Jungkook as a normal person, sacrifice his fame so that he could have lived a normal and happy life with his lover without worrying about anything, but that isn't possible now.
'If only I was a girl, everything would've been okay' he thought.
He has always been insecure of himself and not being a girl and being love with Jungkook has always been his first worry. He really wishes he was a girl so that him and Jungkook can love without any worries but he can't change it now.
Jungkook deserves better, Taehyung always thought this. He deserves everything in this world, he's loved by top female idols and businesswoman, he can get any girl he wants but here he is, in love with Taehyung-- who's a boy, a type of relation which is considered as a sin.
The worry of the consequences that will come when they come out as a couple has always eaten him up but he tries to think about it less but now he has to. He can't ruin Jungkook's career like this, his lover who's so passionate about his career, he can't take it away from him-- he isn't that selfish.
He has seen numerous articles like this and after reading each, he's always been more insecure of himself, his thoughts gets the best of him and he can't help but always think how Jungkook can get anyone in the world, but he's still with him-- even after knowing how much their relation after publicly known can ruin their future.
Taehyung can't let this happen, he'll have to let Jungkook go to make everything right-- the thought alone of letting go of his world, his Jungkook makes him sob, but there's no other way and he'll have to do it, his stupid mind thought.
He's going to do this today to make everything right.
Deep in his thoughts, he didn't notice the door opening.
"Why so serious my love?" said a voice that he loves so so much, his Jungkook's voice.
He looked towards the door and saw Jungkook walking toward with a little concerned look. He sat on the bed with Taehyung and pulled him on his lap, cupping his soft face with his one hand.
"Is anything wrong? You cried didn't you?" Jungkook asked seeing the little moist eyes of Taehyung and guessing that his baby might have cried.
Jungkook's care makes Taehyung want to cry, his lover doesn't deserves this, Jungkook deserves someone better, someone with whom he can live a peaceful life and continue his career, someone as in-- a girl. He needs to let go.
"Nothing Kook, was just thinking of few things" Taehyung answered wrapping his arms around Jungkook's neck and by reflex Jungkook tightening his hand on Tae's waist
"What were you thinking that made you cry baby?" Jungkook asked with a frown in his face.
"Just about our future you know?that how we'll have to separate once BTS's disbands as our relationship will not be accepted-" Tae couldn't even complete his sentence when a hand on his stopped him from talking.
He looked at Jungkook and saw him looking at him glare, trying to show that he was mad but he was so cute, Taehyung thought.
"We already had a talk about this Hyung, we're never going to break up even if the world is against us, our love is true-- we can fight against the world" Jungkook said while smilling and tracing his baby's jaw with his fingers softly and looking at him with fond eyes that is only filled with love for Taehyung.
"NO!!" Taehyung screams at Jungkook, tears falling from his eyes now-- trying to get free from his grip. Jungkook was shocked-- what is happening to his love? Why is he reacting this way? Does he not want to be with him anymore? Negative thoughts started clouding his mind.
But Jungkook didn't let Tae go away from his instead he pulled him closer, hugged him tight and kept Taehyung's head in the crook of his neck-- one hand petting Tae's hair softly while the other tightly wrapped around his baby's waist.
"Hey baby, calm down-- calm down my love, let's talk slowly okay? I know you're upset with something, let it out, I'm here to listen" Jungkook said in his soothing voice, giving a small kisses on his baby's hair to calm him down.
Taehyung, who was crying and thrashing around has stopped it now and how can he not? He's in his lover's embrace-- his home is here, right here with him, his home is his Jungkookie. So he just gives up thrashing and hugs Jungkook softly, burrying his face in his Jungkook's neck and just sobs because his heart hurts so much.
He just wants to have a peaceful life with the person he fell in love with-- but their love is considered a sin. He wishes to keep his lover hidden and keep hiding in his lover's embrace because the outside world is so so cruel towards their love. If they choose eachother-- they'll loose their careers, reputation and even their family members. Is this love really worth taking a chance risking all these? For Taehyung, yes it is.
He'll choose this all over again and is ready to suffer this alone, he wants to endure his lover's pain too but he can't-- because that's the reality. Jungkook will have to suffer with him too and that's what he doesn't wants. His Jungkookie is passionate, free spirited and a lovable personality who loves to enjoy, he doesn't wants to cage him-- so he has to let go, he can't be selfish now.
"Let's break up" Taehyung suddenly said looking down, taking Jungkook off guard.
"Hyung are you okay?" Jungkook asked concerned, making Taehyung face him with his hand softly. "Do you have fever Tae?" he asked again with his hand on Taehyung's forehead, checking his temperature-- which seemed normal to him.
"I'm serious Kook" Taehyung glared at Jungkook-- which Jungkook found oh so cute.
"Hi serious, I'm Jeon Jungkook, Taehyung's boyfriend" Jungkook said while grinning with his bunny teeth's out which made Taehyung smile too in this serious situation. His baby, never fails to make him smile in any situation-- he thought smiling sadly.
"Now tell me what happened please Taehyung, if you don't share with me how will I understand it? I don't like seeing you cry" Jungkook asked desperately holding Taehyung close to him. He needs to know the reason for his lover's misery-- that what made Taehyung hurt so much that he wants to end their relationship.
Though he knows Taehyung will not do it and he's saying this because of something that's been bothering him so rather than being angry on his love, he'll talk it out with him and listen to his side because Taehyung never does anything without a reason.
"I saw an article" Taehyung suddenly blurted out.
"Huh what?" Jungkook asked as he was in his thoughts.
Taehyung took a deep breath, sat on Jungkook's lap comfortably, took Jungkook's hands and kept them on his waist-- which Jungkook tightened around Tae.
"I saw an article where Jessi, the Kpop- American rapper said she has a crush on you" Taehyung said while looking down at his fiddling fingers.
"....okay, so what?" Jungkook asked confused-- why is Taehyung telling this to him now?
Taehyung gasped dramatically looking at Jungkook and smacked his arm lightly.
"She has a crush on you and you're asking me so what?? Are you playing dumb with me??" Taehyung asked glaring at Jungkook.
Jungkook frowned-- yes he does knows that this topic is about him but he isn't interested in that. All he wants is to take away Taehyung's pain now.
"Baby what does this topic has to do with you? I asked why you are sad-- not about who's crushing on me. Tell me why are you upset Tae?" asked Jungkook while cupping Taehyung's face close to him and looking at him with soft eyes holding all the love for his baby.
Taehyung bites his lips trying to look down but Jungkook doesn't lets him, he lifts his chin up and makes him look into his eyes and softly starts to caress Taehyung's jaw and waist to comfort him.
Taehyung sighs in Jungkook's holds-- he's feels at peace now, this is his home.
"I think you should d-date her Kook, she already l-likes you" Taehyung's vice cracks while saying this but he still does-- looking at Jungkook's eyes and the look he sees is something he's never seen in his Jungkook's eyes.
"I'm already married with you? Where does me dating Jessi noona comes from now?" Jungkook asks pointing towards himself with a confused innocent look on his face and his eyebrows furrowed-- which makes him look like a baby in confusion. Taehyung internally coos.
But now that Taehyung realises that Jungkook has said that they've been married his cheeks dust pink and he blushes furiously.
"We are married?" Taehyung asks himself while looking at Jungkook with doe questioning eyes and Jungkook chuckles.
"I don't know about you but I already married you in my head, we are husbands for a long time for me" Jungkook exclaims happily and pulls Taehyung closer to him and kisses his cheeks which makes Taehyung wrap his legs around Jungkook tightly-- straddling him and Jungkook tightens his hold on Taehyung's waist pulling him more closer if possible.
Taehyung's heart swells with joy and tears full his eyes after listening to Jungkook's words-- he really really loves this bunny boy so much.
Taehyung lips wobbles as he speaks "B-but Kook you need to go a-away from me, you need to be in a relationship with a g-girl in the future and not with a boy like me".
"And who said this to you-- that I need to be with a 'girl' in my future, pumpkin?" Jungkook asks frowning and thinking from where Taehyung got these thoughts.
"Nobody said this to me Kook, this is how it's supposed to be, nobody will accept our relationship. It's a sin-- a s-sin for every one, nobody will see our love" Taehyung cries out in Jungkook's chest while holding onto him tightly.
"I don't care about the world or anyone else Tae, only you matter-"
"NO! YOU'RE NOT UNDERSTANDING JUNGKOOK!" Taehyung screams while looking at Jungkook dead into the eyes.
"The society, your fans, relatives will never approve our relationship, it'll ruin your career Jungkook! Everything that you've worked so hard for will be gone because of me! I can't let that happen-- I can't. Even though I love you so much and my heart breaks every time I think about a day without you but-- I know how much you've given to be where you're now. I have seen my baby Jungkookie practicing day and night during our debut days with passion in his eyes to be successful and now that my baby has achieved everything he deserves-- do you think I can take that away from you Jungkook? I can't let everyone hate you and to stop this I need to go a-away" Taehyung whispers in a small voice while sobbing and looking at Jungkook vulnerably-- his hands tightly clutching his bunny's sweatshirt.
"T-taehyung...." Jungkook's voice cracks as he whispers, eyes moist while his hands went to cup his lover's cheeks-- wiping away the tears from his pretty face.
Jungkook can't believe his lover was so much troubled because of this topic. He never really knew that Taehyung used to overthink so much about this thing.
For Jungkook, it was never a topic that he was stressed about because from the very first day they had confessed about their feelings to eachother-- he had promised himself that he's going to be with his Taehyung and love him forever, no matter what others said. He gave zero fucks to people's opinions anyways.
"Nothing matters to me more than you baby and about my career and fans, it'll not be ruined, nobody has that power to ruin our future, you can say that we'll get hatred and not everyone will be happy with our relationship but we should give zero fucks to them because we can't satisfy everyone Tae. People who truly love us will support and understand us always and those who will not-- they were never our real supporters. An idol's life decision should not be made to make their fan's happy-- it should be made to make the idol happy as it's their life, their choice and people those who will not support the idol further were never real supporters if they can't respect their idol's personal decision" Jungkook said to Taehyung while caressing his sides softly looking at him with loving eyes, hoping that his baby is getting his point.
"What about your family, relatives and friends Jungkook? You're not worried about their reaction? Do you not think that they'll regret accepting me one day as I'm not a girl" asked Taehyung while staring at Jungkook's eyes-- asking for an honest answer.
"My family knows about us Tae, and so does yours. My mom loves you, she can never eats kimchi without mentioning how much she misses you while eating because you love it so much. Every time I return from home, my father gives me lilies to give to you because you like them so much. My brother is dying to meet you again and show his dogs to you. Don't think of yourself as an outsider Tae, you're not an outsider, you're a part of this family-- you're my family, baby" Jungkook gives Taehyung an honest answer.
Tears fall from Taehyung's eyes, Jungkook's words make him speechless always. He knows all this that Jungkook's family is the sweetest family you can meet, they treat Taehyung like their own son and Taehyung loves them as much as he loves his parents too but there's always this hesitancy, the thoughts and fear that cloud his mind that one day Jungkook's family will regret accepting Taehyung as he's a boy and think he's not a good choice for Jungkook. This thought used to scare him-- but not anymore, not after Jungkook's words.
"I'm sorry, it's not what I meant-" Jungkook shushes Taehyung off before he could continue.
"I know sugar, I know. You don't need to explain yourself but I want you to understand this Tae that nothing comes above you. My relatives and friends reaction's doesn't matters to me, but you do. You take my priority. Always. They were there not there for me when i needed someone to hold onto-- you held me Tae. They were not there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry-- you cried and gave me your shoulder baby. They were not there when I needed someone to stay with me-- you stayed Tae and I love you so much for this and many more reasons that maybe I can never explain" Jungkook finishes while hugging Taehyung close to his chest, he nuzzles his nose in his Taehyung's soft hair as his baby is crying and shaking terribly.
Jungkook's shirt is practically wet at this point because of Taehyung's tears but he could care less, his first is to calm his baby down now. He keeps rubbing Taehyung's back softly with his one hand and keeps patting Taehyung hair softly with his other hand. Jungkook looks like he's cradling a baby in his lap.
Well practically it's not wrong-- Taehyung is his baby, his one and only baby bear.
After hearing Jungkook's words Taehyung understands it. That he's Jungkook's priority and he is not holding Jungkook back-- Jungkook wants him to stay with him and love him, he's Jungkook's priority.
"Jungkookie...." Taehyung whispers softly against Jungkook's neck where his face is nuzzled.
"Yes? My love, I'm here" Jungkook assures Taehyung while caressing his back softly and petting his hair.
"I'm sor-rry Koo, i hope you know that I have never doubted your love. It's just that I was insecure, I thought I'm not en-nough for you and you deserve better, I'm sorry Jungkookie. I love you so much and I'll never want to leave you, please forgive me-- it was just my stupid, desperate and insecure self-" Taehyung was not able to complete his sentence as he felt a finger of Jungkook on his lips, shushing him.
"These feelings are natural Tae, I'm not at all mad at you or doubting your love baby-- your love for me is there in your eyes, I don't need your words. I'm happy that you trusted me enough to show me your vulnerable side. It's okay to get insecure, it's okay to doubt my love but please always share and discuss your problems with me, I'll love to help you with them and listen to them and even if i can't help, I'll love to stay beside you in your problems--you're not alone my love. I'm always with you in everything and nothing can break us. I love you my baby bear, you're my everything and I accept every responsibility that comes with you" Jungkook finishes off by kissing Taehyung's forehead warmly.
Taehyung lets his tears fall and he sniffs in Jungkook's arms, which is his home.
"I don't know what I did to deserve you" Taehyung says while holding Jungkook.
"Let's not talk about it okay love? You deserve me and I deserve you, we both complete each other and we are enough for each other" Jungkook says while caressing Taehyung's soft cheeks.
Taehyung smiles at that and whispers a small 'okay'.
"Let's sleep love?" Jungkook asks and Taehyung nods at that.
But before they could go to their shared bedroom, Taehyung captures Jungkook's lips in a luscious kiss. Kissing him warmly showing all his love and how much he is grateful to have him through the kiss.
Jungkook kisses back Taehyung softly, happy to see that Taehyung is feeling okay now as he initiated the kiss. They break their kiss few moments laters and keep smiling at each other.
Jungkook carries Taehyung to their master bedroom in bridal while Taehyung keeps looking at Jungkook and thinks what did he do to deserve Jungkook-- who's always there for him, ready to fight the world for him.
Both of them get under the covers, Jungkook scoops Taehyung in his arms and Taehyung puts his face in Jungkook's neck.
They intertwined their hands together and laid down in their bed, holding each other tightly.
"I love you my Jungkookie, I really do, so much" Taehyung whispered in Jungkook's neck while inhaling his sweet scent that calmed his heart and mind.
"I love you too my baby, I will always keep loving you, you're my only treasure" Jungkook whispered while caressing Taehyung's hair softly as it helped him sleep.
The sleep they had after was so peaceful <3
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Thank you for reading :)