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Mar 2012 - Montreal
There are certain benefits to being the captain of the university hockey team, Shane decides.
The first being that he’s friends with the staff. Well, it helps that he comes in early, but Shane also has a genuine interest in how ice rinks are built for sports like his. It had only taken him a year to win over the rink manager’s heart after asking questions about how ice quality is maintained after each session. Does Shane know a little too much about how Zambonis work? Probably. Is he now qualified to drive one? Yes, secretly.
Which brings him to the most important perk of being captain: ice access.
Officially, his benefits as captain naturally extend to his teammates. He books ice time for extra practice or when they all need to just de-stress and shoot some picks. Unofficially, the rink manager understands that ice is sacred to Shane and allows him to use the ice after hours, so long as Shane surfaces the ice and locks the door behind him.
Which leads him to his current situation: smuggling Ilya Rozanov into the on-campus rink.
With finals looming, he hadn’t been able to catch the earlier game. He tried, he really did. But then he ended up down a research rabbit hole about the impacts of environmental changes to loons that he ended up behind on his required readings. This… this was a compromise. A way to scratch the itch to skate that he gets when he’s stressed, and to spend some time with Ilya in ways that aren’t horizontal.
And to his surprise, Ilya agreed.
(A date, the lizard part of his brain whispers.)
(A not-date, the more rational part of his brain argues back.)
Lily
I’m here
Shane busts open the back door of the rink with a little more force than necessary. There, standing in the darkness in all his post-game glory is Rozanov.
“You will murder me,” Rozanov frowns.
“Maybe,” Shane hisses. “Get in!”
Rozanov obediently steps through the doors. Shane looks back for good measure before shutting and locking it.
“Are you kidnapping me?” Rozanov has the gall to ask.
“I would trade you to Buffalo for a stale Dorito, asshole,” Shane declares, walking ahead of the Russian.
“You’ve missed me~” Rozanov singsongs behind him.
If Shane were honest, he kind of did.
“I fucking didn’t!” Shane grumbles instead, harsher than he means. “And Montreal beat you today.”
Ilya scoffs. “Barely.”
“You’re an asshole.”
Instead of replying, Rozanov rushes ahead of him childishly. “Race you!”
“You don’t even know where you’re going!” Shane instantly begins sprinting.
Thankfully, the rink is only a short distance away. They come to an abrupt stop as Rozanov stands by the door jam to admire it, with Shane barely stopping in time and avoiding a crash into Rozanov’s back.
“This is McGill ice?” Rozanov whistles lowly. He turns to look at Shane.
“Yeah,” Shane shrugs, as nonchalant as possible. He does not preen at Rozanov’s satisfaction at his home rink. Nope. He walks, showing Rozanov to the boards where his own skates are placed. “We have an outdoor rink too during the winter. Super cool. The guys at the rink allow me to skate whenever I want as long as I clean up afterwards.”
Rozanov shoots him an amused look. “You are Zamboni driver, yes?”
“Yes,” says Shane seriously. Rozanov shoots him another look. “Oh, fuck off. You’re an asshole.”
That has Rozanov smiling, the annoying bastard that he is. Shane rolls his eyes, gesturing for Rozanov to sit.
“You brought them?” Shane asks.
Rozanov jiggles his bag with a mischievous smile. “Smuggled it from equipment manager.”
“You did not,” Shane sighs.
Rozanov pulls out his own hockey skates from his bag, showing them to Shane triumphantly. “I promised to return them later.”
Shane briefly wonders if the equipment manager of the Boston Raiders was having an aneurysm.
Then, he sits down without a word and declares, “Race you to the ice!”
Rozanov gasps, indignant, shoving his feet into his socks. The two race to pull on their skates, lacing them in record time. Shane wins, his foot on the ice with Rozanov only half a step behind him.
“Cheater!” Rozanov yells, racing after Shane, who laughs with delight.
They sprint at top speed around the rink, Shane barely a hair faster than Rozanov. They keep at it for another lap, bickering like children as Shane is just too fast for Rozanov to catch him. Eventually, exhaustion takes over as Shane slows to a stop by the boards, only to be sprayed by a shower of ice from Rozanov’s hockey stop.
“I win,” Shane declares. He takes a swig of water, taking note of how Rozanov simply stares at him with unguarded want.
“I played a game tonight. No fair! You’re a cheating cheater, Hollander.”
“You’re just slow,” Shane insists. He takes a moment to take in the healthy flush on Rozanov’s stupidly attractive face.
“Me?” Rozanov exclaims, scandalised. “Slow??”
“Yeah.”
“Your backhand is weak.”
“My backhand?” It is Shane’s turn to be scandalised. “Weak??”
Rozanov smirks. “The weakest.”
“Fucker,” Shane curses. He steps off the ice and grabs the two hockey sticks (his, of course) he had prepared earlier and a bucket of pucks. He throws one of the sticks to Rozanov and leaves the bucket by the boards, throwing a puck on the ice that he purposely hits into the goal with a backhand shot. “How’s that!”
Rozanov whistles, skating to him with the bucket in hand. “Could use more practice. You can learn from best player in MLH.”
“Oh fuck you!”
Rozanov tips the bucket, sending the pucks flying across the ice. Like with many things that night, it quickly becomes a game of most goals in the net. Rozanov wins by two, which he quickly gloats about.
“Again!” Shane growls but feels absolutely high on the fact that he was fucking around and playing hockey with Ilya Rozanov for the first time in years.
And unlike his worst fears, Shane could still keep up.
They empty the net and go at it until they get bored with their little game after Shane wins twice. This earns him the middle finger from Rozanov, which he cackles at.
“Do you always practice here this late?” Rozanov says, skating away with a puck.
“Not always.” Shane skates next to him, easily catching the puck that Rozanov sends his way. “Just when I’m feeling stressed.”
Rozanov nods, seemingly understanding why. Shane sends the puck his way without a word, which Rozanov fires into the goal with a soft clang.
“That would’ve been helpful tonight,” remarks Shane cheekily. Rozanov shoots him a withering look.
They spend some time passing and shooting pucks back and forth. There’s a surprising amount of on-ice chemistry between them, which Shane wordlessly tests in all sorts of ways. Skating faster, slower, shooting differently, shooting without instruction or even looking at all.
No matter what he did, Rozanov was always next to him, blade at the ready to intercept whatever Shane threw his way.
Likewise, Shane moves in tandem with Rozanov, as though he could read the Boston player’s mind. As though he knew exactly what Rozanov was going to do next.
The way they were playing… was simply too good. Electric. And Shane-
Rozanov is the only one who can keep up with him, Shane realises. Both as an opponent and a winger.
And the thing is, Rozanov seemed happy to play wing, and he was good at it. The best center in the MLH wants to play wing for Shane. Sure, they would need the full line to really test this, but Shane trusts his gut more than anything.
Without really thinking too much, Shane taps the ice twice with his stick. Rozanov sends the puck over, and Shane immediately puts it in the net.
Rozanov cheers, skating up to Shane and pressing an obnoxious kiss to his cheek, arms wrapped around his shoulders.
“Great pass,” Shane tells him, mystified by his newfound realisation.
“Great goal,” Rozanov says, as though he means it. “Is good to learn from best player in the league, yes?” Rozanov smirks.
Shane frowns, turning fully to face Rozanov and belatedly realising that he’s still standing in the Russian’s embrace, which shifted from his shoulders not so innocently to his waist. There’s a tenderness in Rozanov’s eyes, bright and wild in a way Shane hasn’t seen before. He’s seen Rozanov light up when he spots Shane in the stands at a Boston vs Montreal game - it is another to see a similar look up close.
I want to kiss him, Shane thinks.
“Fuck off,” Shane scoffs. “Best player in the league according to who?” It takes him a disconcerting amount of effort to keep his eyes away from Rozanov’s lips.
Rozanov raises a delicate brow. “ESPN.”
Shane rolls his eyes. Rozanov’s grip on his waist does not move. “Only them?”
“Maybe two.”
“Who’s the second?”
The smile on Rozanov’s face is enough for Shane to know that he’s going to be exasperated by the answer.
“You.”
Shane pauses, already feeling annoyed that no, Rozanov was not the best player in the league (this is a lie, not that Shane will ever admit that). He makes the mistake of glancing down at Rozanov’s lips, away from Rozanov’s gaze, and then Shane is being pulled into a deep kiss.
Their sticks are dropped somewhere as Shane responds with fervour to the kiss. He’s been thinking about it since Rozanov had stepped into the rink. No, maybe even before that, when he was texting Rozanov the details of this little rendezvous that he’s still surprised that Rozanov even accepted.
When they pull apart, Rozanov regards him with a hungry gaze. Shane’s heart lurches, wanting to soak it all up with greed. It’s too much, Shane tells himself. They need to separate before Rozanov really fucks him on the ice.
“I practice late,” Shane finds himself blurting out with no rhyme or reason. “Figure skating. Not the skating but the figures part - the one with the ice patterns?”
Rozanov’s expression morphs into confusion. Shane uses the chance to untangle from their embrace. “Hollander? Are you changing sport? Not good at hockey you try to be next Plushenko?”
“Yagudin is better,” Shane sniffs. He begins to put away their equipment, putting distance between them. “No. Coach invited the figure skating coach from the university team down to fix our skating. Edge control exercises are really good for hockey. You should try it.”
Rozanoz shoots him a skeptical look. “Your skating is already good and fast.”
“Is that a compliment, Rozanov?” Shane smirks. “No, now I am even faster. You can’t even catch me.”
Rozanov sighs, skating up to Shane and putting a very pointed hand on his ass. “Hollander.”
That immediately sends heat to Shane’s crotch; he curses internally. Well, they did last a whole hour before Rozanov’s patience had begun to run thin, and Shane was maybe one more compliment away from sucking Rozanov off on centre ice.
“I bet you can’t skate back to the bench on one foot,” Shane declares before pushing off and power pulling to the benches.
Behind him, Rozanov makes a choked noise. “Not fair, Hollander!” He yells. Shane hazards a glance back to find Rozanov brute-forcing the exercise. “This is exercise for baby skaters in Russia!”
Shane makes it back to the boards first, Rozanov a distance away.
“And you suck at it!” Shane yells back. “Bend your knees!”
“Oh, I’ll make you bend your knees,” Rozanov shoots back. He’s panting when he finally returns to Shane. “Prettily. On the floor. While you suck-”
Shane shoves him playfully into the bench. “Less chirping, more unlacing.”
Rozanov all but tears off his skates in record time. Shane loses, spectacularly, only because the thought of what they’re going to do next is enough to make him lose his mind.
So much in fact that he forgets to surface the ice. A fact that he only enlightens Rozanov with when his back is pressed against the boards, Rozanov’s lips sucking a brand new hickey to Shane’s neck.
“Hollander,” Rozanov sulks, hiding his face in Shane’s neck.
“15 minutes,” Shane sighs, gently prying Rozanov away. “You can sit with me in the Zamboni.”
Rozanov groans. “Fine.”
Shane does the chore the fastest he has ever in his life. The detour is worth it, though, as Rozanov is pressed up against him, going round the rink like a boy riding any big heavy machinery.
Cute, Shane thinks faintly.
Later, much, much later, when Shane sneaks out of Rozanov’s room at an ungodly hour, pleasantly sore and sated and sent off with a peck from Rozanov, does he realise:
This is some teen movie bullshit.
[TRANSCRIPT - Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov Answer the Web’s Most Asked Questions | WIRED]
Posted 25 May 2018
Shane and Ilya are seated in front of a white background wearing their Ottawa Centaur’s jerseys. They are relaxed and smiling at the camera.
SHANE HOLLANDER: Hi, I’m Shane Hollander
ILYA ROZANOV: And I’m Ilya Rozanov
SH: And we’re doing a WIRED Autocomplete interview.
<Text: Autocomplete suggests the most common searches on the Internet>
IR: Of course I’ve Googled myself. It is interesting to see what the news picks up and Shane gets very jealous.
SH: I do not! And I’m not that famous anyway so I don’t really search for things about me.
IR: He’s right. I do the searching for him but the loon research always comes up first when I just want to save a picture of his-
<Text: So WIRED asked the captains of the Ottawa Centaurs the Internet’s burning questions.>
IR: Who are Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov?
SH: We’re hockey players from the Ottawa Centaurs. He’s the captain.
IR: And he’s the alternate captain.
SH: That’s not public knowledge yet!
IR: It is now!
SH: Are Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov dating?
IR: [Ilya shows his ring to the camera] We’re married!
SH: Three years this year.
IR: Are Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov gay? I’m not but Shane is super gay.
SH: I’m regular gay!
IR: And I’m bi.
SH: When did Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov meet?
IR: 2008 Prospect Cup. I beat him.
SH: Yeap. Canada vs Russia final in Saskatchewan. And then I beat him in 2009.
IR: I was already drafted to the Boston Bears and he decided to study loons in McGill, even though he really could have been number 2 draft pick.
SH: Loons were my research focus. I wanted to study before I became a pro-hockey player.
IR: Ah yes. While he still had brain cells. He is the brains of this relationship and I am the brawns.
SH: And that’s how we like it.
IR: Do Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov play hockey?
SH: Yes.
IR: No, we play football - the European one as god intended.
SH: Are Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov rivals?
IR: Maybe back in 2008 and 2009? There was some media interest in us back then.
SH: We’re very competitive. You can ask the Centaurs - apparently we drive them up the wall sometimes.
IR: It would be very interesting to see us as rivals in opposing teams, I think. Imagine if Shane went to the Metros…
SH: Haha. Ottawa is my hometown of course I would be a Centaur to play with my husband. I think we’re a much better team than we are rivals.
IR: Like telepathy.
SH: Yeah. Ilya is the only person who can keep up with me, both as an opponent and when we’re on the same line. I much prefer us playing together, though.
IR: Same. These days, we compete for Anya’s love and who will win Art Ross next season.
SH: Is Ilya Rozanov Canadian citizen?
IR: Proudly. Since 2017! I eat poutine and love maple syrup and go “Oh Canada~”
SH: He thinks Dunkin is better than Tim Hortons.
IR: Blasphemy! I did not say that-
SH: Every time we play in the US, the first thing he gets is a disgusting Dunkin drink with an ungodly amount of sugar-
IR: Dunkin in the US is better than in Canada, Shane.
SH: Other than that, yeah. He’s Canadian.
IR: I love Canada! Boston was my home first but Ottawa is my current home and where my heart is.
SH: Why Ilya Rozanov move to Ottawa?
IR: For love.
SH: He moved for me. I was studying for my degree in Montreal before I decided to do my Masters in Ottawa. Ilya asked Boston for a trade and they miraculously agreed. So he moved to Ottawa.
IR: And I don’t regret it one bit. I loved Boston, yes. But Ottawa is where the Hollanders are and I have a deep appreciation for this city. I love being boring.
SH: Ilya Rozanov? Boring?
IR: I know. Tragic.
SH: Ilya Rozanov sports cars
IR: Is that even English?
SH: Barely.
IR: I had many sports cars when I was in Boston. I sold them all away when I moved to Ottawa but kept my beautiful Porsche.
SH: Don’t worry, he drives sensible cars in the snow and obeys traffic laws.
IR: Sometimes!
SH: Ilya Rozanov Irina Foundation
IR: We started the foundation this year! It was Shane’s idea to name it after my mother, Irina.
SH: It was only fitting.
IR: She was very good but she was also very sad. She passed away when I was 12 and we started this foundation to raise money for mental health initiatives.
SH: You can check out our hockey camp schedule on our website at irinafoundation.com
IR: See you there hockey fans!
SH: Last one. Ilya Rozanov Anya
IR: My sweet sweet Anya. I love her so much. She was found abandoned on Harris’, who is our social media manager on the Centaurs, family farm. I was immediately smitten.
SH: You should show them the picture you took this morning.
IR: Yes! Isn’t she adorable?
SH: She’s on the way to being a doggy influencer…
IR: I try my very best.
SH: Is Ilya Rozanov the sexiest man alive?
IR: Yes.
SH: A few years ago. But yes. He is the sexiest man alive and mine.
IR: Shane Hollander? Posessive on camera? Everyone must know this! SHANE HOLLANDER-
SH: Shhhhhh!
IR: Is Shane Hollander ornithologist and Shane Hollander hockey player the same person?
SH: Yes. Both of them are me. I play hockey and study loons whenever I can.
IR: There’s a flock of them that he tracks by our cottage. He has a whole room dedicated to them.
SH: I’ve been studying them since I was young! They’re fascinating creatures. Did you know that they’re monogamous? The flock has their own relationship triangle at some points.
IR: Oh god, you’ve gotten him going.
SH: It’s like watching a bird soap opera. It’s very entertaining. I’ve written a whole paper on their mating behaviours.
IR: You don’t even watch TV!
SH: I do! Whatever you’ve got on the TV anyway.
IR: Yes. And then we end up-
SH: Ilya.
IR: Did Shane Hollander date Rose Landry?
SH: You’re making the face.
IR: What face?
SH: The face you make whenever you see an article about Rose and I.
IR: I am jealous.
SH: It’s been years! We’re married! You meet her for wine tastings - don’t think I don’t know about them. Anyway. Yeah for a few months or something when we were in McGill together. She blew up overnight so I became her plus-one for some parties. Next!
IR: Does Shane Hollander play hockey?
SH: All my life! Won a few things too.
IR: Prospect Cup 2009, 2014 Winter Olympics Gold, UCup 2011, 2012, 2013, and 2015. Oh and he’s a Stanley Cup winner and Rookie of the Year.
SH: Ilya…
IR: What? It is only proper to know all of moy solnyshko’s accomplishments. I am proud trophy husband.
SH: Says the winner of the Calder, three-time winner of the Art Ross and two-time winner of Hart.
IR: Thank god our trophy room is very big.
SH: Lucky us.
IR: Is Shane Hollander half-Asian?
SH: My mother is Japanese and my father is Canadian so yeah.
IR: The prince of Wasia.
SH: Don’t call me that… Next!
IR: In my heart. Anyway - Shane Hollander Montreal Metros.
SH: That’s barely a question. Ilya, you’re making the face again.
IR: In another life.
SH: I studied in Montreal so I ended up watching a few games. JJ Boizau and Hayden Pike are my best friends so I get to play against them now. No hard feelings!
IR: I’m so glad you’re in Ottawa.
SH: Me too.
IR: Does Shane Hollander know Viktor Nikiforov?
SH: Viktor did an exchange at McGill! We met at the rink. His husband Yuuri is very nice.
IR: They visited us recently since Worlds was nearby.
SH: They're good friends.
IR: Last board! Ah - it’s back to us again.
SH: What is Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander ship name? Ilya did we buy a boat?
IR: They’re referring to our couple name
SH: Oh. We have one?
IR: Hollanov.
SH: Holla- oh our last names. That’s cute.
IR: Hollander-Rozanov has a better ring to it.
SH: Okay Mr. Hollander-Rozanov. Doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as nicely.
IR: I love being called Mr Hollander-Rozanov. But I think the hockey commentators will hate us.
SH: Hollander-Rozanov passes to Hollander- wait it should be Rozanov-Hollander. Rozanov-Hollander passes back to Hollander-Rozanov.
IR: I think even I would grow very tired of hearing my name.
SH: We’ll keep that for our marriage license and legal documents.
IR: When did Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander start dating?
SH: Officially? End of undergrad for me.
IR: Unofficially? Since beginning of Shane’s undergrad. We were non-monagamous, obviously.
SH: Unlike loons.
IR: Hah! But if you asked me when our first date was…
SH: At the cottage.
IR: No… McGill. At the ice rink.
SH: Ilya…
IR: He snuck me into McGill in the middle of the night. It was very romantic.
SH: I had keys to the rink, don’t worry!
IR: He made me play some hockey after a match where Boston lost… but I was so happy to be on the same ice as him after so many years I didn’t feel tired at all. I remember thinking ‘Ah, I don’t ever want this night to end.’
SH: You sap! This is news to me.
IR: I was so smitten with him that I even ride on boring Zamboni with him-
SH: Last I recalled, you were like a boy driving an excavator-
IR: And I was swooning like a teenage girl. Nothing was sexier than him driving a Zamboni.
SH: Our rink manager is never going to let us near a Zamboni at this rate.
IR: Good. It’s best for my sanity.
SH: Where did Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov get married?
IR: In the backyard of our house in Ottawa. It was very small and very us. Next!
SH: Yeah what he said.
IR: Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov wedding rings.
SH: They’re custom! [They both flash their rings to the camera.)
IR: Russians wear wedding rings on right hand.
SH: Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov children.
IR: We want kids but maybe not for a few years.
SH: We’ve still got a lot of hockey left in us.
IR: Yes. For now, we have the Pike kids to keep us entertained.
SH: Hayden has four of them.
IR: Hayden get off her! Save Jackie!
SH: Ilya.
IR: Oookay last one. Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov commercial.
SH: I swear these aren’t questions anymore.
IR: Our first commercial together was with CCM to celebrate Pride.
SH: I liked that commercial a lot.
IR: Me too.
SH: Thank you for Googling us, I guess?
IR: Give me kiss for the Internet, Shane.
SH: Ilya…
IR: [Pecks Shane on the cheek loudly] Be sure to support the Ottawa Centaurs! See you next season.
– End –