Chapter Text
☆
At age fifteen, Chuuya Nakahara, had found one of the greatest secrets of this school.
Osamu Dazai, one of his classmates, could sing.
How did he find this out you ask?
Chuuya walks down the hallway, needing to use the restroom. He’s in a pissy mood, not to mention, he had forgotten his headphones at home.
You’ll always catch the redhead with his headphones, he was constantly listening to music. Being both a singer and a dancer, music is a constant for him. He can connect to music in so many different and artistic ways. It's beautiful, really.
His family are prodigies in the performer world. His mother and father had met through Kabuki, which is an equivalent to America’s Broadway. His older brother, Verlaine, was a well known jazz singer who performs in large venues, writes for big artists, and is a decent model too. His older sister, Kouyou, is both a dancer and a singer; a performer. She’s performed in a few shows on Kabuki herself, small local venues where she lets herself be free, and along with Verlaine, is also a model. She actually knows what she’s doing though, Chuuya will say.
So Chuuya does have to live up to his name and he’d like to say he’s doing well for only being fifteen. He got into singing and dancing when he was younger. It was a given with his parents and siblings. When he got older, slightly before reaching the junior high years, Chuuya decided to pick up a new art, a new hobby. One that no one in his family except for his grandpa on his mom’s side had done, which was to learn and perform with an instrument.
With the help of his grandpa and taking lessons day by day, Chuuya learned how to play the guitar. That had always been something he wanted to learn and accomplish. He's definitely still working his way up but he’s amazing for the age he’s at. The Nakahara’s truly were a family of never ending prodigees. A knack for learning and picking up the way of the arts fast.
Chuuya wants to continue to master the guitar, his singing, and his dancing, but wants to acquire new skills as well. He's thought about the keyboard and the bass so perhaps those will be his next goals. And yes, he's always working hard at school too. As his parents say, you must excel in not just your passions but your work and grades just as much. Not that Chuuya dreads coming to school or anything, just something that he was reminded of.
And he was pretty well known around the school, mainly because of his name and his siblings, but nonetheless, he was pretty popular here. He had genuine friends, some from band club, some from his childhood, and some just from his classroom. He was happy with where he was at, and that feeling would only continue to flourish as he learned more.
The redhead was unsure on how famous he wanted to be. He’d be happy enough just to perform on small local stages, playing guitar for bands, being a backup dancer, anything related to performing he'd be ecstatic. If he’s able to be a well renowned performer, then that's great as well. Chuuya just wants to do what he loves, with people he loves, in a city he loves.
Many people encourage this mindset of Chuuya’s. They want to see him succeed as much as Chuuya wants himself to. They’d be able to say that they once knew Chuuya Nakahara.
Chuuya hums a tune to himself to keep his mind at bay, continuing to walk to the bathroom.
Through the midst of his humming, there’s a muffled voice from one of the upcoming rooms. It didn't sound like a normal conversation tone nor did it sound like multiple people were in the room. It sounded like…singing? But Chuuya couldn't recognize the voice.
As he grew closer, he could see that the door was slightly cracked. Maybe the person hadn't intended for the door to be open based on how small this crack was.
But man, when Chuuya finally got to the door he had to stop. This voice, whoever it belonged to, was beautiful. It sounded like walking through a garden on a spring afternoon, the wind blowing through your hair, soft and careful with just enough of a rough edge and rasp.
Would it be okay for him to just peak his head in? That would be rude. Obviously the door was meant to be shut. This person wanted privacy to practice, which is something Chuuya totally understands. He too would be creeped out if he found out someone was watching him sing without him knowing. It was one thing for someone to watch him but watching him in secrecy? That was another thing.
But that voice was really drawing him in, the redhead couldn't contain himself. He cautiously takes steps toward the door to look into the window, looking into the crack.
And wouldn't you know it.
The person with that wonderful voice was none other than Osamu Dazai.
Chuuya never would've guessed the quiet, contained and strange boy in his year could sing, let alone so beautifully. Chuuya doesn't even realize his jaw was dropped once he matched the voice to the face.
Closing his mouth, he continues to watch Dazai sing. A Little Death by The Neighborhood, he recognizes. He’s sung that tune himself a few times but his ‘performances’ of it don’t compare to Dazai’s. Dazai just matches it perfectly.
Their voices would probably mesh well together.
Chuuya covers his mouth at the thought. Would he ever want to perform with a partner? Alongside someone on stage? He's sure he could but with Dazai?
It's not that he hates the guy but he does seem pretty annoying and likes to tease the couple of friends he does have. Would they even work well together at all? Sure they’d have the voices to sing together but personality wise it probably wouldn't work out.
This is terrible. Chuuya really shouldn't be judging a guy he doesn't even know.
But Dazai was definitely strange.
He wore bandages on his arms, his neck, and over his right eye. He was the smartest guy in their class, in their year, and probably knew way more than he should. He kept to himself, besides his friend Ranpo who was right next in line to being the smartest guy in their class. He was eerie. He was lazy. He was witty. He was slender. He was suicidal. He had this type of aura to him. Dark, as many have described.
Not that being strange or being different was bad.
But Dazai was definitely strange.
Who knew what else that boy hid. It wouldn't come as a surprise if he was some infiltrator from the mafia investigating this school. By the way he dresses and acts, it's been a rumor.
Again, those were rumors. And as Chuuya continues to watch Dazai sing, all of that just slips his mind. All he's focused on is the careful hums of Dazai’s voice filling up the room.
He still hadn't been noticed, and he should leave now while he can.
How would Chuuya even go about confronting Dazai? He doesn't talk to the guy, nor does he think Dazai wants people talking to him.
So maybe he just won’t confront him and this will be his secret.
Yeah.
Yeah. That could work.
It'd be a shame for Dazai’s talent to be hidden away but Chuuya can understand why he wouldn't want people knowing about this side of him. It's sacred and could be one of his only escapes. Why ruin what good he has going?
With the self control Chuuya has left, he backs away from the door, being sure to be as quiet as possible.
As he’s walking back to his classroom with Dazai’s singing on his mind, he remembers that he still had to use the bathroom.
☆
That same night, Chuuya’s practicing guitar in their home studio. Another perk of being a family of the performing world, they had different types of studios in their house. Granted, they were small, art does really only pay so much, but they left plenty of space for them to explore and practice.
He has his headphones on now, not the pair he had forgotten, but the ones made to listen to his guitar. Chuuya’s obviously allowed to let it play out with no restriction but in a way, he felt closer to the music when he played like this. That was always his goal, to be connected to his music.
Chuuya sits on the couch with legs crossed, guitar in his lap as he plays random chords to get himself started.
It's been around fifteen minutes since he sat down and got situated and he hasn't been able to get his head into it. Normally, as soon as he picks up the instrument and plays a few chords, the only thing on his mind would be that guitar. Complete and utter focus on that guitar.
However, a certain brunette has occupied his mind. Not just the past fifteen minutes but for the entirety of the day.
This was so stupid.
Chuuya throws his headphones off with a sigh, closing his journal harshly before he puts it next to him on the couch. He can't get anything done without thinking of that stupid voice coming from that stupid boy.
He lets out a sigh as he slumps back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling.
Nothing comes to mind. All but Dazai. Wouldn't it be hilarious to write a song about him? Yeah, no chance would he be doing that even if it was the only song that would push him into the scene.
He's unaware of how much more time passes before there's a knock on the door and in comes his sister. He doesn't even glance over.
“Come downstairs for dinner Chuuya.” Kouyou invites as soon as she’s made her way into the room. As she walks in, she can't help but notice Chuuya’s slump.
“Chuuya,” she tried to grab his attention, waving her hand over the boy’s face to make sure he was still alive.
Chuuya lets out a low grunt, letting his sister recognize that he was in fact alive and breathing.
Kouyou glances over to the closed journal Chuuya never lets anyone get their hands on. They then glance over to the headphones plugged into the guitar, to which said guitar was lying on the other side of the couch. It was unheard of.
“I can’t keep waiting Chuuya, you know you-” she pauses as Chuuya forces himself to sit up. He blinks at her.
“Sorry Ane-san,” he apologizes, realizing he hadn't been using his manners.
Chuuya hoists himself up, not even properly putting the equipment away which he might get scolded at for but not if he says he’ll be coming back to practice right after dinner.
Kouyou follows behind him after briefly pausing to stare at the leather journal.
Were the difficult lyrics making Chuuya feel so down like this? Was it a few chords he couldn't manage to hit perfectly the first time?
Perhaps he will feel and perform better with some food in his system.
Chuuya is stuck in his head the entirety of the dinner. Both of their parents have a performance tonight, two different shows so there was no telling what time they’ll be home tonight. It was just the three siblings sitting quietly at the table.
Kouyou can’t help but keep eyeing her brother, noticing that something was heavily off. Chuuya’s never quiet, especially at the dinner table. When it came to sudden outbursts or yapping his family's ears off, he was the champion in that realm. There were times when Chuuya really needed to learn his manners, but he was only a teenage boy who didn't have any type of media training. His parents and his siblings are working on it.
Later down the line, whenever Chuuya gets more famous and well known in the performer community, Kouyou hopes that he doesn’t completely put his career in shambles due to the filter he in fact did not have.
And that is why Kouyou is concerned.
He’s eating his food normally, and properly, so whatever was on the boy’s mind wasn’t too bothersome. However, it was just enough to shut him up.
“Chuuya?” Kouyou calls. Chuuya stops his chewing and looks up at his sister with his eyes. Verlaine too glances over between them.
“Speak your thoughts?” She lets out more in a questioning tone but Chuuya knew it was a demand. Right, he had been too stuck in his mind all because of that stupid bandaged brunette kid.
He had to be careful with his wording here because if Chuuya flat out said his mind has been on this guy in the same year as him, she would start an interrogation. Not that she wouldn’t already but Kouyou knew Chuuya was gay, well bisexual. It had been an accident how she found out, and so far her and Verlaine were the only two that knew. Verlaine only knew because Kouyou had spilled the information to him. He has yet to tell his parents and it’s not that they wouldn’t be supportive but Chuuya has just recently figured this out for himself. He wants to make sure he’s comfortable in his skin before he starts coming out to the whole population.
There wasn’t any good wording the boy could use that wouldn’t sound at least the smallest bit suspicious. And Chuuya truly hates that, because no, he doesn’t want to be thinking about Dazai. Especially not like that.
“I found out today that some guy in my year can sing,” Chuuya shrugs, going back to poking at his food.
Kouyou and Verlaine eye each other, which was exactly what Chuuya wanted to avoid. Like he said, no matter what came out of his mouth, they would take it in a romantic way. Do all siblings do this? They don’t do this with all of Chuuya’s friends but obviously this was some new guy that has been constantly on Chuuya’s mind all day. He’s quiet at the dinner table over this boy. It only made sense for them to question the two’s status. Or in this case at the moment, what Chuuya’s feelings are toward this boy.
“So…this boy-”
“Don’t,” Chuuya glares at her. She puts her hands up in surrender, but doesn’t hide the smirk present on her face.
“Explain the situation to me,” she says instead. Chuuya really doesn’t want to now, and hasn't wanted to since Kouyou asked what was wrong. Whether that be because Chuuya doesn’t want to face the teasing from his siblings or face the fact that Dazai was on his mind since he caught him singing.
With a sigh, Chuuya thinks back to the situation earlier. An easy memory.
“There’s this guy in my year that has a reputation of being quiet, weird, dark, mysterious, and suicidal,” he whispers the last word and Kouyou immediately scolds him for the nasty words.
“Chuuya! We don’t talk about people like that!” She exclaims. Chuuya is lucky he’s across the table otherwise she’d give a little slap to the boy’s face. Sometimes he really needed the sense slapped into him. She had taught Chuuya to be kinder than that, and that’s for a fact. It’s all those middle school boys that influence each other and shape one another into terrible creatures. Chuuya will not be turned into one of those boys.
“I never said that I agreed with those terms!” Chuuya argues back, he is now being the one to put his hands up in surrender. He too didn’t want to associate with the wrong scene. Maybe he agreed with some of them, and even some of them are just facts, but he wasn’t going to admit that to his already annoyed sister.
Kouyou slacks back into her seat more after Chuuya’s small apology. She nods her head for him to continue describing this kid.
Chuuya takes another second after that burst of energy before he continues.
“And so…” he draws out, “I was passing by one of the classrooms and I heard probably the most amazing singing I’ve ever heard in my life coming from one of the rooms. I know I shouldn’t have peeked into the room to try and match a voice to a face but I was curious who owned a voice like that. As it turns out, it was that guy I was just mentioning. He was the one singing and I’ve been thinking about it all day and I absolutely hate it!” Chuuya groans, hands dragging down his face in agony.
Again, Kouyou is smirking and absolutely lighting up. A lightbulb could practically be seen above her head with the amount of thoughts consuming her own brain now. This could be just what Chuuya needs.
“Chuuya, that's great! You have to talk to him!” Kouyou encourages him. Chuuya stops his hands, staring directly at his sister.
No no, he couldn’t do that.
I mean yeah, that’s exactly what he’s been thinking about all day. Ways in how he could approach Dazai and talk to him. But why is that on his mind? Wanting to talk to someone has never consumed his thoughts as much as Dazai’s singing has.
Maybe that's it. Maybe it's not Dazai, but his singing. It was no lie that he was a phenomenal singer hiding his talent and that's what Chuuya has on his mind. If this was anyone else, he’d be thinking long and hard about them too. Right?
“I don't think he wants people talking to him,” Chuuya reveals which seemed truthful. Then again, Chuuya hasn't tried. Considering Dazai was mostly quiet and kept to himself, that should be a clear indicator that he doesn't want people talking to him. That's normally how it is. Right?
Kouyou frowns, assessing the situation.
“Try to talk to him, Chuuya. This could be great to push you in the right direction,” Verlaine comes in. Chuuya eyes him, confused on what he's talking about.
Noticing Chuuya’s raised eyebrows and confused face, Verlaine continues on.
“If he has an amazing voice like you say, you should create songs with him.”
Chuuya would spit out his drink everywhere if he had been drinking it. Working alongside Dazai? He doesn't even know the guy. Sure, he can sing but Chuuya only knows the guy by his rumors.
But maybe Verlaine has a point. Working with someone else could make you more successful. Of course, that wasn’t the case for every duo, however, if Chuuya and him actually made it work, got along and made songs together, they both could go far. And a voice like that shouldn't be hidden away. Even if that's what Dazai wants, maybe Chuuya can convince him to come out with his voice more.
Some people truly like to keep their talent hidden though, and Dazai seems like that type of person. He is that type of person. Why else would he be in an isolated room on school grounds? That being said, why would he be singing at school at all if he wanted to keep this hidden.
Maybe he’s just like Chuuya where he needs to sing, play an instrument, or listen to music to cool off. The redhead totally understands that, always finding peace when he leaves a room and either sings, plays, or dances his heart out. It was therapeutic to him, so it could be the exact same case for Dazai.
What wasn’t a shocker was how phenomenal of a pianist he was. That talent was no secret. Even though Chuuya wasn't in the boy's classes, he has heard that the music teachers let Dazai play the piano so they're able to teach their lesson better. What Chuuya would do to see and hear that in person now.
However, singing is a whole different genre. Dazai doesn't need to talk when he's playing, he can just let the music consume him. Granted, there's still attention on him since he's the only one playing. Chuuya’s having a very difficult time trying to grasp all of this. You'd think someone who was quiet, dark, and reserved, wouldn't want any sort of attention yet Dazai was always playing the piano for his classmates. Strange. What other instruments can he play, he wondered.
“I don’t even know the guy and you want me to write songs with him? Yeah, cause that’ll totally work,” Chuuya implies. It’s a stupid idea, truly.
Could Dazai even write songs? He probably could, he seemed to be this prodigy. People like to label him as the Demon Prodigy at school because of his dark demeanor and his ability to be extremely good at everything. People were jealous of the fact how Dazai could pick up a worksheet and finish it in under five minutes. If Dazai was in his class, he definitely would be peeking over and trying to get the answers from him.
“And that’s why you start a conversation with him! Can he do more than sing? How amazing would it be if he could dance as well! You and…?”
“Dazai.”
“Dazai. You and Dazai could be the next big performing duo! Don’t you think so?” Kouyou puts into the air, making Chuuya sigh. He’s over this conversation.
His siblings were never subtle in finding ways to push Chuuya more into the scene. It didn’t work like that nor did Chuuya want to be pushed. He wants fame when it comes to him, because he did something that he could be proud of, not by being pushed by his siblings or his parents.
It was already enough that Chuuya was a Nakahara, he had an extra step. A nepo baby, as they call it. Many people already knew his name and of his talent, so it wouldn’t be too difficult to push his way up the ladder. However, Chuuya has hope in the back of his pockets that his dancing videos, singing and playing his guitar at gigs are enough to gain attention.
Chuuya shrugs as his response to her. “I’ve told you I want it to come naturally. I don’t want to be forced to do anything just so we can uphold the Nakahara name,” he reminds the two of them.
“We know that. We’re looking out for you,” Verlaine comes in.
“And that’s appreciated but I need to do this for myself,” Chuuya finalizes. He gathers his silverware and his plate and pushes the chair back. This was a constant conversation that genuinely drove Chuuya up the walls. No matter how many times the redhead could repeat himself, his siblings never got it. They pushed back after Chuuya finally spoke about it, however, that didn’t mean it stopped entirely, obviously.
Surprisingly, Kouyou and Verlaine don’t push the boy on it anymore. Chuuya could get very heated and he’s already seen to be having a rough day, they didn’t want to put that pressure on him today. Another day, yes.
They only want to help push Chuuya into the scene because they knew how happy performing made him. Not to mention, Chuuya adored when people watched him perform. He’s only fifteen and is amazing at all his activities. He’s spent countless hours training his dance technique, his guitar skills, training his voice, etc. It’s the least the redhead deserves.
☆
Chuuya spends the next hour in his room, completely forgetting about the mess he had left in the music studio. He would go back in there eventually tonight but with his thoughts consuming him, he just wasn't able to right now.
He tosses and turns on his bed until he ends up on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Chuuya lets out a large breath, realizing that no matter what he tried, the brunette was still on his mind.
The redhead could ask his friends about Dazai since they're in the same class, but he didn't want opinions on the guy’s personality or how he behaves. He needs to hear it and see it from the boy himself.
Chuuya turns his head as the screen of his phone brightens the room. Annoyed, he smacks his hand to reach for his phone before holding it up over his face.
Nothing too exciting, only a notification from one of the dancers he follows on YouTube posting a video.
He clicks on the notification, taking him to the app. Chuuya starts watching the video in hope that it could distract his mind.
It didn’t.
As the video was close to ending, a brilliant idea came to mind.
He immediately clicks on Instagram, tapping his fingers on his phone-case as it took its sweet time to load.
Chuuya tapped the search button at the bottom of the screen and started typing ‘Dazai’ into the engine.
Not many guys in the area, or in the country for that matter, were named Dazai so it was fairly easy to find his account. Not to mention, there were two of his friends that were following him.
Of course after Chuuya clicks on the account, it's confirmed to be a private account which comes to no shock. Located at the top, it listed 6 posts and 85 followers. Again, not surprising. It was a miracle Dazai even had an Instagram account, Chuuya hadn't been too hopeful.
The username was interesting and the combo of emojis in his bio was as well. Chuuya had no idea what it meant or how it correlated. Either way, he's annoyed that he wasn't able to get into the account. And he couldn't just follow him out of nowhere either, that would be strange. Even if Chuuya had requested to follow the account, he knew Dazai wouldn't accept it. No point in trying, he'd hold back.
Possibly though, Dazai could have a YouTube account. It's not quiet news that Dazai plays the piano so there's a good chance that the brunette posts piano covers or even original pieces. Now he's curious about that and exits out of Instagram due to the lack of content.
The YouTube app doesn't take nearly as long to load. This would be a little more tricky to find his account. He starts by typing Dazai into the search engine and to no surprise, nothing comes up. Well, videos do come up but not the type of videos Chuuya was hoping for.
He’d type in his first name if he even knew it, so there was no hope there. ‘Dazai Piano Cover’ hadn't shown any results. It wasn't looking the best.
Chuuya was about to slam his phone down onto the bed after five minutes of searching. He was impatient and deserved the answers, he thought.
When the phrase, no longer human from Dazai’s Instagram, popped into his head, he considered himself a genius. Performers tend to keep their handles the same so people have an easier ability to find them. It was perfect.
And so, Chuuya typed ‘Dazai no_longerhuman’ into the search bar and wouldn't you know it. An array of piano covers with the display name of O. Dazai. So his first name started with an O, interesting.
Clicking on the channel, his mouth dropped at what he saw.
One thousand subscribers?!
Eleven thousand views on his most recent video?!
Why was Chuuya not aware that he was so popular amongst the pianist community?
Scrolling through the nineteen videos he had, they were all from the past year. One of them was even fifteen minutes long. Is it even possible to play the piano for that long? Of course it is, Chuuya’s just kind of spiraling in disbelief right now.
Chuuya glances at the time on his phone. Seven thirty. He had all night to watch all of these if he wanted to.
Did he?
He hadn't heard Dazai’s playing in person so it would be interesting to finally be able to hear it after countless amounts of people talking about it. This could help his mind, from at least one thing.
He clicks on the most recent video with eleven thousand views for some reason. Eight minutes. This had to be good if it was long and yet pulled in thousands of viewers.
Chuuya immediately recognized the tune once Dazai’s fingers got to work on the piano. His bandaged wrists were in the shot, and it was the only part of him that could be seen of his body, besides his hands of course.
It was an extremely difficult piece, Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2. Not that Chuuya’s attempted it, he doesn't even know how to properly play the piano. If he honed in and focused on learning, it would come pretty easy to him but it wasn't something of interest. Chuuya rather be loud and playful with a guitar or the drums, or with his singing.
But of course, this came naturally to Dazai. Not one slip up, his fingers flew smoothly into the next key. No wonder this video got so many views. Dazai was incredibly skilled with his hands. He had quite long fingers and bony knuckles that probably made playing the piano come even easier for him. He has piano hands, as they would call.
Chuuya closed his eyes and let the sounds of the piano take him away. It did quiet his thoughts, thankfully.
And he fell asleep like that, to the videos of Dazai’s piano playing soothing him like a lullaby.
☆