Chapter Text
Zooble thought they were used to being dropped onto a cold floor randomly by Caine, but waking up to an impact like that was a new experience.
Only vaguely aware of the buzz around them, they lay on the ground for several seconds and contemplated drifting off again right there. Eventually, Zooble forced themself to look up. Their head hurt and their eyes stung. What was wrong with them?
Oh yeah, they got high last night during the show. That stupid sauce was something else.
Feeling Gangle's hands on their shoulders, Zooble finally started to take in their surroundings. All the others were there with them. The Circus members were gathered in front of the stage. Caine floated over them all as usual but, instead of staring just above them and yapping excitedly like he usually did, he was arguing with Ragatha. Zooble didn't know how long they had been out for. Was it time for an adventure already?
"…They skip adventures all the time!" Ragatha was saying. "Why are you making such a big deal about this one time when it might be good to give them a break!" She waved her arms vaguely in Zooble's direction. "Look at them, why would you drop them like that when they're unwell?"
"This adenture is important!" Caine shouted back. "I've worked on it really hard, and we're all going to have a fun time with it!"
Zooble's body had fell to pieces when they collided with the ground. After pulling themself together, they stood up. Gangle was there next to them and, since they felt too groggy to give a shit, they rested their head against her. Nobody paid them any attention.
"Right, now that we're all here…" Caine rose back up to the centre of the stage and his jagged words slid right back into the usual animated show-host demeanour. "Today's adventure is… Wrath of the Wildest West!"
Zooble huffed out a half-sigh, half-dejected laugh. "Yeah, this was on its way," they mumbled.
Caine ignored them and continued. "Thaaaaaat's right! Tumbleweeds are rolling over the hills, and danger is following it! It's up to you to defeat the hordes of zombie cactuses and…"
"What do you mean?" Gangle whispered to Zooble. They rolled their eyes.
"Caine and I… talked a while back, I guess. He said something weird about thining the Wild West wasn't a 'real direction.' I knew another cowboy adventure was on its way."
"Is that why he woke you up?"
Zooble nodded, eyeing ways they could sneak away. Caine's voice had faded into the back of their mind, but they couldn't shake the feeling he was looking directly at them.
Their eyes landed on a deflated-looking Jax. Only now did Zooble notice the rabbit had not made a joke about their arrival, or anything Caine was babbling on about. He was hugging himself, and he looked so… small, compared to most days.
"You all got that?"
Oh god, Caine was looking at them. What was it he had been saying? Zooble racked their brain, but they had zoned out completely. That sauce was strong.
Whatever it was, it appeared that nobody had been listening to the ringmaster. Gangle, still holding Zooble, was watching Jax. Pomni was with Ragatha, but her eyes were also on Jax. Zooble had never asked how their partnership had gone yesterday, but the worried look on the jester's face and the fact that Jax was evidently a million miles away suggested that it went badly. Ragatha just looked stressed and was still glaring at Caine, and Kinger was being Kinger off to the side. At least he was doing as well as he could do.
Caine hadn't moved or changed positions, but his pupils were sliding in opposite directions. He was waiting for a response nobody else was going to give. Zooble felt the urge to just answer, but they wanted to say no, and Caine had an air around him that said he'd throttle them if things didn't go his way.
"…yes?" they croaked. God, their voice sounded awful.
"Hey, isn't the plural of cactus 'cacti?" Bubble asked as he appeared behind Caine. "Did you not know that Caine? Are you stupid? Are you so f**king stupid that you don't know the plural to…"
Bubble suddenly went silent, although his mouth was still moving. A red X had appeared over him. Caine didn't even look his way. "I didn't hear anything," he exclaimed, before clicking his fingers and summoning a portal.
Ragatha raised an eyebrow. "Hey, did Bubble just swear?" Before anyone could say anything, Caine zipped over to her, grabbed her arm, and threw her over his shoulder, into the portal.
"Who's next!" he called.
Nobody spoke. Absentmindedly taking Gangle's hand, Zooble tugged her along as they trudged over to the portal.
*The sky was a bright blue, with stereotypically shaped white clouds dotting through it. A small flame stretched in the middle of it, spreading out until burnt black words appeared upon the flame dying out. It read 'CACTUSTOWN: DAY.'
Zooble blinked, and they were back in their own body again, standing at the entrance of a town ripped straight from any cowboy film. They felt the hat and the belt they were wearing and immediately decided it was uncomfortable. This wasn't going to be fun.
"…Did Caine really just rip the landscape from the Candy Kingdom adventure?" Pomni asked from next to them.
Not looking over at the jester, Zooble sighed. "If he did, that makes sense. I think he's still pissed from yesterday, he's not about to start putting effort into anything."
Zooble spotted a place marked 'Saloon' and headed straight for it. The others followed behind. It only occurred to them there that it looked like they really knew what they were doing. All they could think about was getting a drink, regardless of whether it would do anything to them.
There wasn't a cactus in sight in the building, just blank NPCs coloured green. Zooble ignored all of them and walked up to the bar. Before they could say anything, a glass was placed in front of her.
In here, we pour whiskey, they thought. They shook their head. Was that a reference? That was supposed to be Jax's thing.
"Are you alright?" Gangle's soft voice came from behind them. She sat down to the other seat. "You seem… agitated."
Zooble knocked their drink back. It tasted like water. No bar adventure today. They looked over at her, and noticed the costume she was wearing - a red cowboy hat and a long dress. It was a less detailed version of the costume she wore during the last spaghetti western adventure, but she looked nice.
"I'm… still a little rattled from yesterday, sorry," Zooble mumbled. "You might want to hang out with someone else today."
"No, it's… it's okay." Gangle held onto Zooble's arm.
They looked over at the others sitting next to the pair. Ragatha was trying to make conversation with Kinger, but Zooble couldn't focus on her words. They could only think about how exhausted the others looked. Meanwhile, Gangle was smiling, but there were tears on her face. Did she lose her comedy mask already?
"I want to make sure you're okay," Gangle continued. "You're my friend, and you helped me a lot yesterday. I'd like to help how I can."
Zooble didn't move for a few moments before leaning their head against Gangle. "Thanks," they mumbled. Chuckling, they asked "can I buy you a drink?"
"Maybe later. How about we get through this adventure?
*Okay, so Caine put some effort into the bandits at least. They were pretty detailed horse figures who ran around on all fours before getting up on their back legs and morphing into a terrifying horse person. Then they whipped pistols out and shot at the players, and unlike yesterday's adventure, it hurt like a bitch to get shot.
Still no zombie cacti, but there seemed to be a lot of low focus going around. Zooble had a concerning thought about how Caine's emotions might be affecting the gang. They shoved that thought away and loaded their revolver.
Zooble was hiding in the saloon with Gangle huddled down next to them under a window. Kinger was somewhere in there with them, but Zooble had no clue where the rest of them had fucked off to. Jax hadn't even joined them at the bar, so who knew where he was. They thought he would have loved this. He seemed to like the guns before. As for Ragatha and Pomni, they had both ran into a different building and vanished.
The window above them smashed. The glass nearly rained down on them before turning into smoke and drifting back out into the open air. This place was weird.
"How's your shot?" Zooble asked, holding their gun up. Gangle was fumbling with a shotgun. Despite the look of terror on her face, she laughed.
"You did see me yesterday, right?"
"Okay, fair point. Do you want to just run for it?"
"Yeah, that sounds fun."
They crawled away from the window and dashed for the front door. Zooble almost tripped on a mannequin lying on the floor, but Gangle stopped them from falling. Good lord, why were all of Caine's efforts going into the attempts to hurt them?
They made it to the front door. Gangle counted them down to when they ran again. Before she could finish, however, Kinger appeared with a bucket over his head and a pistol clutched in his hands.
"Let me go first," he exclaimed. "I'll cover you both."
Zooble stared at him. "You have a f**cking bucket covering your eyes, how can you…"
"On three, ready? Okay. FOUR!" And the chesspiece ran out the door.
Zooble was too stunned to speak, but Gangle was giggling to herself. They both ran out after their friend, and were shocked to find him holding his own quite well.
"Take this, you diabolical equestrians!" he shouted, firing at the horse people. A couple of them got some good shots on Kinger, and one of them hit Zooble in the side, but they were struggling to dodge the counterattack. One of them keeled over in a horrifying display of anguish.
This game is for fucking kids, Zooble thought.