Work Text:
Recently, a new element appeared in Piramida, most of the time nicely settled on windowsills. A small blue, bell shaped flower native from the faraway land of the wind and freedom. Illuga brought back some bulbs from his recent trip there. It was his first "real" trip abroad (not counting the mass evacuation of Nod-Krai that happened back when the Doctor was threatening the region).
At first, he felt a little, no, incredibly guilty for leaving. He was restless, biting on his nails, unable to quell the storm raging in his mind. How could he, Lightkeeper bound to protect Nod-Krai and its citizens and purge the Wild Hunt, leave? On paper, Illuga agreed that breaks were needed to rest properly. How could one keep on fighting if they were exhausted by countless fights, uncountable nights of patrols and piles of reports? That was, he only agreed on paper, or when the person in question was a fellow colleague. When it came to his own person, Illuga struggled to accept he too needed some time off. Some time to unwind and rest his body and mind.
That's why he even went to Mondstadt in the first place, but still, as soon as the boat left the docks, a piercing sense of guilt invaded his heart. Why was he leaving instead of being useful? What if something terrible happened while he was away? What if, by his presence in Nod-Krai he could've prevented that awful occurrence? Illuga was hardly keeping himself from jumping off the boat and swimming back to Nod-Krai. Too bad the water was probably way too cold. Besides, what would he have said to Lohen, waiting for him in Mondstadt? "Oh yeah, I ultimately can't come, I started sweating buckets just at the thought of not fighting the Wild Hunt for a few weeks. Sorry about that." He just knew Lohen would have bursted out of laughter, calling him worse than him and "too good of a captain". But Illuga also knew he would have been somewhat disappointed. It had been months now since their last encounter, before Lohen left Nod-Krai to deliver some letters on Grand Master Varka's behalf. They were keeping contact via letters, but it couldn't compare with the time they spent together.
Lohen seemed really excited at the thought of Illuga visiting Mondstadt, so he tried to make it happened. It was quite tedious, Illuga needed to find a time where the Wild Hunt wasn't too rampant, so he could leave without relatively overthinking too much. He had faith in the Lightkeepers of course, he knew their strength and their dedication. He just couldn't help but feeling bad for taking some time off. Truly, no one blamed him. In fact, people were actively encouraging him to take some vacations. Everyone knew just how dedicated and hardworking Illuga was. If anyone in their faction deserved a break, it was him. Or so they said.
Anyway, that's how Illuga discovered small lamp grasses. There wasn't much to say about those flowers during the day, they were pretty regular. During the night though…
"Wait, are those flowers… glowing?" he asked in curiosity as Lohen and him came back from the Thousand Winds Temple. Lohen insisted they spar there because the place used to be some kind of arena where people showed off their fighting techniques. And, well, Lohen could show himself pretty insistant when it came to sparing so Illuga had no choice but to comply.
The knight looked at him, then at the flower. His face lit up almost instantly.
"Oh, right! They're small lamp grasses. Pretty disappointing when it comes to poisoning — erm, I mean, spicing up some dishes. If anything, it only alternates the taste a little. I guess they do look pretty nice in the dark though."
Illuga silently nodded as he crouched down to see the little blue bells better. The light it emitted was faint, but oddly comforting. A few plants were growing here and there, like a silent guide in the night. It was as if following their trail would without a doubt lead any lost soul to safety.
Lohen soon followed, crouching next to him, lightly bringing the bell upwards with the tip of his finger, as if he wished to admire it better. His sigh made Illuga throw a quick look at him. His gaze was distant, and for a second Illuga wondered if Lohen still remembered he was there. Soon enough, he spoke.
"You know birdie, they make me think of you sometimes. Maybe because they glow? You're much brighter of course — but when you were in Nod-Krai I always got a sense of comfort looking at those. Oh and they're blue too, like your eyes… But then again, the blue of your eyes is much prettier."
That last part made Illuga laugh. Lohen clinging to anything that remotely reminded him of his person, even in the slightest bit, was quite endearing. Illuga couldn't blame him. He missed him quite a lot too.
"You know, I actually had some similar thoughts."
A bright smile stretched Lohen's lips. Hand cupping his face, he interrupted.
"Awww do they remind you of me too? Or is there perhaps another flower in Nod-Krai that makes you think of me?"
"I got a similar sense of comfort watching those small lamp grasses. It gave me an idea… how should I put this… ah, yes. You see how children are often afraid of the dark? Now, would they still be afraid if they had a flower glowing in their bedroom? While the Lightkeepers make sure they can stay safe anywhere in Nod-Krai, we can't do much against nightmares. And nightmares… they tend to be pretty common among Wild Hunt survivors… or children who recently lost a family member. I know it's not right but let's say we make up a small, white lie and tell them the Lightkeepers can watch over their dreams and ward-off evil through the light emitted by that flower. Don't you think that'd put them at ease?"
There was a silent pause. A long, and awkward silent pause during which Lohen stared at him, dumbfounded.
"Hey little bird, are you really thinking about your job while I'm trying to be romantic?" he called out, offended. "During our date?"
Illuga almost choked on his own saliva. Okay, put it that way… As an apology, the Lightkeeper hugged him, making them fall over.
"I'm sorry, Lohen." He laughed as he kissed him all over the face, brushing his cheek with his gloved thumb.
"Yeah, you better be." the knight pouted, not without a snark, hand lost in his hair.
Without a word, they hugged for a while. It was warm and cozy. The moon was high in the sky, the wind ever so gentle, a few crickets were singing, breaking the peaceful silent of the night. It was too good.
"You know," Lohen said after a while, still petting his head, "If you really like them so much maybe Flora sells some bulbs in her shop. Maybe we can go take a look tomorrow, so you can gift some to the children of Piramida. And of course, keep one for yourself."
"I doubt a simple trick like this can chase away my nightmares." Illuga laughed, but he couldn't help but feel a bit bitter. Ah if only he was as innocent as a child, then maybe he could've had faith in the power of small lamp grasses. Maybe he could've believed, heart and soul, that this faint blue light had the power to guard his dreams, and keep his nights peaceful. It wasn't that easy, and he was fully aware of it. His wish was to bring some hope and comfort to children akin to the one he was, ten years ago.
Still, Illuga couldn't help but notice his sleep was far more peaceful whenever he shared a bed with Lohen. A shame Nod-Krai and Mondstadt were on the opposite sides of the map. Usually, Lohen would either cuddle him from behind or fall asleep on his chest, soothed by his quiet heartbeat. Illuga loved how comforting the knight's presence was. He was used to how loud and… chaotic his boyfriend was, but he still adored those times of quiet when they said nothing, like how they were cuddling right now, or right before he fell asleep, when all he could hear was Lohen's deep breathing and calm heartbeat, already fast asleep. Maybe seeing him so calm made him feel safe too, and he couldn't help feeling sleepy afterwards. In fact, Illuga was starting to feel sleepy right now. He prepped a few last kisses on Lohen's face before sitting up.
"We should get back home." he said.
Lohen dragged himself closer to Illuga, resting his head on his lap.
"We should." But clearly, he had no intention of moving anytime soon.
Illuga sighed, a light smile adorning his face. He leaned over, kissing his ear and caressing his hair. He looked beautiful like this, with his face lit up by the moonlight and his long lashes fluttering slowly as Illuga was brushing his hair. Illuga thought he couldn't look more perfect.
His eyes briefly left his lover's face, resting on the lamp grass next to him. Another smile bloomed on his face. Illuga picked the flower carefully, and Lohen followed his movement with a certain curiosity. He replaced a few hair strands behind Lohen's ear before adding the flower.
"There. The color suits your knight attire quite a lot." He explained. For a few seconds, Lohen's eyes were lost in his. There was an indescribable look in his irises, but needless to say he didn't seem like he was expecting Illuga to adorn his hair with a flower at all. Then, his face soften and he chuckled, capturing his hand before it could leave his face.
"Birdie you're seriously the cutest."
Of the time he spent in Mondstadt, this memory was the most vivid, Illuga's most treasured one. He was glad he could discover Lohen's home region. He felt somewhat relieved to see just how safe and peaceful it was. At least, I don't have to worry too much about him putting himself in too much danger again, he thought. People in Mondstadt were very welcoming, and seeing some familiar faces, or finally being able to put a face on a name was a true delight. If he had the occasion in the future, Illuga would be sure to go back someday.
For the time being, Illuga was back in Nod-Krai and was as occupied as always. The Wild Hunt sadly doesn't wait. He barely slept during the last few days, both because of night patrols and reports he had to finish, and today was his rest day. He only left home to drop his recent report and went back to sleep soon after.
The sun was setting when he woke up. Illuga felt too exhausted to even move, so he watched as the sun descended and disappeared behind the horizon, leaving nothing but the darkness of the night. His gaze fluttered to a faint light glowing on his desk. His now fully grown small lamp grass was resting in a pot placed on his desk. It made him smile, as thoughts of Lohen flooded his mind. Maybe he had the strength to move after all. He still hadn't answered to his last letter.
So, Illuga sat down and picked up a pen and some ink. He stared down as the blank page for a while, collecting his thoughts before he started :
"Dear Lohen,
It's been too long, I apologize for taking so much time answering your previous letter, I've been quite busy recently and barely had any time for myself. I didn't know what to write about, and all my attempts were honestly pretty boring.
You remember the lamp grasses bulbs I brought back? Earlier today, a few children came to thank me for gifting them one. They said they had loved watching it grow a bit more every day and they said they never had a nightmare ever since. So they gifted me a picture they drew as a thank you gift. It was very heart warming, I'm so glad they have one less problem to think about, and I truly hope nightmares won't disturb their sleep for a long while.
Now, I looked at the picture and thought, actually you're the one who gave me the idea so if there's anyone they should thank, it must be you. Though I wonder, do you have any interest in children's drawings? Probably not, but if you do… well, they're yours. I can send them next time. (And I'll definitely answer quicker this time, I promise!)
You said to me you were pretty sad there wasn't much of "me" at your place, compared to the memories we made at my place back when you were still in Nod-Krai, so I got you some nod-kraian flower seeds — to match the lamp grass on my desk — as well as a few of the pictures of us I had. Oh, and I bought that tea you enjoyed so much. Hopefully this way your home will feel less empty."
Illuga blushed as he wrote that sentence. The vivid memory of Lohen complaining about how "incomplete" his home felt, even after five years away, without his "second home" there with him. "Well, at least it gives me another excuse to go back to Nod-Krai someday." He said in an exaggerated sigh, raising his shoulders. Lohen called him his second home and Illuga wasn't sure he'd ever recover from it. He took a deep, shaky breath, trying his best to regain composure and calm his thumping heart.
"I miss you so much. I think my trip to Mondstadt made me miss you even more. You said the lamp grass reminded you of me, but truly whenever I lay my eyes on it, all I can see is your face and how beautiful you looked when I placed that flower in your hair that day."
Illuga rested his head on his arm, putting down his pen. He softly scratched Aedon's head, settled next to him. The little kuuvahki bird chirped happily, making Illuga smile. It seemed to have taken quite a liking to the lamp grass too, often relaxing next to the pot. Maybe because it noticed how happy Illuga looked whenever he'd gaze at the flower?
"You know, I think Aedon likes the lamp grass quite a lot too. See? I told you you were wrong thinking it hated you. Aedon's not like that."
Aedon chirped again, as if it suddenly developed the ability to read.
"I know, Lohen is stupid sometimes."
Aedon chirped louder, more enthusiastic. Perhaps a bit too enthusiastic.
"… surely you don't hate him, right?"
"…
Okay whatever, maybe Aedon just called you stupid."
He added, shaking his head disappointedly. What could Lohen possibly have done for Aedon to dislike him? Sure he was a little… weird sometimes but nothing too crazy right. Illuga paused for a while. No, actually let's just forget about that last part, he thought. Lohen was weird and definitely a little crazy, but he made Illuga happy so where was the issue?
"Nevertheless, I love you even if you're a little crazy and Aedon thinks you're stupid."
Now he was just writing anything. Illuga wanted to bash his head against the hard surface of his desk. He wrote too much already and definitely didn't want to start over again.
"… I think I'll just stop there for today. I can't wait to see you again, hopefully soon enough.
I miss you and love you dearly,
Your Illuga."
He wasn't all that satisfied with the ending so he added below:
"Your birdie."