Chapter Text
College was hell.
It was hell on earth when you were sane, it was hell on earth when you were sick. It was hell when you were happy, content, sad, upset, livid, bored-
College, in general, sucked, but it sucked even more when you were mourning the death of a guy you never got to know, but who fought off a great, ancient evil for you- who died for you; Because he saw so much potential and beauty if you and what you could achieve, that he was willing to die for you, regardless of what you thought of yourself, or how the world as a whole viewed you.
Avery of six months ago would’ve laughed, would’ve accepted the praise awkwardly and shrugged it off. He had known he wasn’t special or popular or even just a little unique. He was just another college kid who was trying his hardest not to drown in assignments, essays and tests.
…But then he had found that book, and now everything was different.
Because now someone had died for him, someone who truly believed that Avery had some unknown potential that would lead to greatness; Avery was special and more real than anything else; Avery had been the reason the other person had managed to see the full, unrestrained beauty of the universe.
Only to die.
Because of course the first person to fully, completely believe in Avery died shortly after meeting him.
It was cruel; Derek Hutchins’s passing should not have shook Avery as much as it had. It shouldn’t have mattered- maybe it hadn’t even been real- it certainly hadn’t felt real during most of the time Avery spent searching. Which is exactly why the grief stung so much; it felt more real than any other sort of pain the blonde had endured before it, as if his entire life had actually been a dream, and Derek’s death was the thing that woke him from his slumber.
Avery sighed, running a hand through his hair. Thinking about Derek wasn’t going to magically finish the blonde’s homework, which Avery did need to do if he wanted to graduate and live up to the potential Derek saw in him.
But Avery wasn’t smart- or at least he wasn’t smart like Derek had been.
He couldn’t solve puzzles, he couldn’t decipher anything and right now the writing in his textbook may as well be Latin.
The blonde was tired, upset, lonely and so… so incredibly done with everything.
“Please, Derek, grant me strength…” Avery muttered. “I’m not smart like you, I am not strong like you. I am drowning. I need help. Please… help me.”
…How far gone was he? How bad had his mental health gotten that he was now praying to the guy who died for him? When Avery had never been religious before, he was now praying to Derek Hutchins? Maybe Avery had simply lost it, maybe this was a sign he should give up, succumb to his inner demons, and join Derek.
Carcosa was a quiet, desolate land, showing great ruins that many thought would never crumble; the memory of a prosperous kingdom, buried and eroded by time and its ruler’s madness.
Because that’s all it had been; madness and desperation.
Derek saw it now; he understood it fully.
With Hastur’s death, it felt as if a floodgate had been opened; Derek once thought he knew all, but that had been… well-
He had been very wrong.
The things he once saw as infinite had been shockingly finite, and while he still struggled with everything, the dark-haired man now knew that what he had seen- what he had perceived back then- had only been a small infinity, compared to a greater whole that Hastur had tried to hide.
Now… Now Derek truly knew all- all information, all possibilities, all outcomes and all the lack of control he truly had, even now. Knowledge wasn’t everything, and with how time itself seemed irrelevant, Derek knew he was at the mercy of a greater universe than any human could ever truly understand.
Maybe… Maybe Derek wasn’t human anymore. It would explain a lot.
Not that it mattered, with how Derek could still feel himself dying.
He could feel his body curve in on itself- could feel the lack of food and water slowly sap his strength. He could feel cold chills consume his body, though they mostly stayed near his extremities; his chest was uncomfortably warm.
Whatever Derek was now, it didn’t change the fact he would not escape this alive. The king was gone, and the lord would slowly wither away afterwards.
Or so he thought, but then Derek saw it- a small, pale green ribbon of sorts, floating around his body, curling around his hand, and weaving between Derek’s fingers. The fallen lord lifted his hand up, admiring the ribbon as it wrapped around his wrist, gliding downwards and towards the other’s face.
“...Pretty…” Derek muttered, closing his eyes as he felt the ribbon-like being slither closer to his head, nestling comfortably at the base of his neck.
It felt like it was… asking for help in a way.
Curious…
“...Not sure how much I can do for you, little guy…” Derek chuckled, voice tired as the being uses a finger to stroke the ribbon’s back. “But… I’ll try my best…”
Maybe all Avery had needed was a good cry. It really felt like everything had gotten better after the blonde had cried hard enough to cause a massive headache. Well, obviously the headache hadn’t been a part of the plan, but Avery truly did feel better after taking half an hour to cry in the shower.
Which brought him back to this; the homework he still hadn’t even gotten started on.
It wasn’t supposed to be all that hard; just the typical, boring equations and calculations, it should be easy-
Avery blinked.
It… was easy. The words that were jumbled and confusing before made sense, the numbers and letters easy to read and understand; the solutions were right there, and Avery could easily grasp them.
It was… easy. He could do this in minutes if he speedran it.
Avery sat down at his desk, taking out a pen.
He got this.
Rejuvenation is not something Derek expected to feel, but as the ribbon faded the cold numbness and ache in his bones seemed to fade as well. It wasn’t entirely gone, and it wouldn't stay gone, but for now Derek could sit up, and finally look around his surroundings to try and get a feel for where he was.
He was in Carcosa, yes, but he was at the very edge of it, where the devastation the kingdom had endured was the most obvious; gray ashes and sooth coating every available surface the dark-haired man could see. Windows were smashed in, doors pulled from their hinges.
But Derek knew it had been like that for a very long time.
Long before the king set its sights on-
Derek froze, the realization of just exactly what had happened to him finally hitting home; That ribbon-like creature had been a prayer- a prayer Derek had answered .
Not as himself, but as the new god that ruled over Carcosa.
And judging by the fact it was a prayer to him and NOT Hastur… there’s really only one person who could’ve send it…
“...Well crap…” Derek muttered.
Avery would realize what he had done- he would connect the dots and realize Derek was still alive, and as exciting as all the potential timelines that followed after that were, the new god was mostly just worried about all the obstacles and problems he could already see coming towards the blonde human; some small, while others would need divine intervention.
“Avery… why are you like this?”