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At this point in Mordecai’s life, he’s gotten used to shit like this. Or, at least for the most part. Every day is some new thing he has to deal with, and today was no different.
The day started out normal. Margaret had asked Mordecai about a week before her leaving to water her plans for her. Mordecai obviously eagerly nodded. He will take any chance he can get to impress her. When Mordecai let Rigby know that morning he heard nothing but groans and moans from the other boy. It was mildly endearing, but after a bit it gets frustrating.
“C’mon dude. It’s such an easy task! Either help me or don’t.”
Rigby groaned and slowly rolled off his makeshift trash-trampoline bed, “Fiiiiiine. I’ll help you water the stupid plants. But you owe me, man.”
“Whatever.”
They both got dressed and departed from the park slightly before noon. They made their way to her apartment with Mordecai metaphorically having to drag Rigby there the whole time, “Dude, I swear to God if you don’t shut up I’ll kill you.”
“Fine. Let’s just get it done.”
After briefly perusing the small space, they somehow had managed to completely destroy Magaret’s diary. Or as Benson might call it, they ‘Mordecai and Rigby-ed’ it. But right now rage was pouring over Mordecai's body. It feels like every time he’s going to do something good for Margaret, everything goes wrong. And it usually involves Rigby.
Mordecai groaned in frustration, saying they needed to fix this. So, they went to the one man who might have an idea on how to: Skips. Skip’s patience over the years have ever-so-slightly faded, but they both were glad to hear he was still open to helping them.
Once again, when they were given instructions to follow, Rigby messed it up. Every time Mordecai is one step closer to finally getting with Margaret, Rigby shoves him back 5 spots. And this ultimately leaves them to where they are now. Mordecai watches in horror as he sees the scariest version of Margaret rapidly get closer to them.
“How do we stop her?”
“Every one must tell a secret so the guardian of Margaret’s secrets doesn’t kill us.”
Rigby starts them off, “I like to put ketchup on my pasta sometimes!”
Mordecai breathes deep and says the first thing he could think of, “I hate your favorite movie, Rigby. I can’t stand it!”
After Skips says his, the other two look at each other in confusion, “Your secrets must be deeper than that! It has to be something you’ve genuinely been worried about getting out.”
Rigby pauses to think, when he blurts out “I think Eileen is hot without glasses on!”
Mordecai notices the guardian approaching closer and closer, so he starts to shout out ideas, seeing what sticks.
“I wet the bed until I was 8! I sleep on the mattress I bought for you, Rigby! I still don’t understand how credit works! I only grow facial hair in a gross pedo-stache way naturally and that’s why I shave!”
“It’s not working!” Rigby shouts over the destruction surrounding them.
“Dig deep, Mordecai! You subconsciously know what to say. Just say it! If you don’t say it, we’ll die!”
There’s a heavy pit in the bottom of Mordecai’s stomach that’s been there for a while. He’s known what he has to say for a while; but he just hoped he wouldn’t have to go there. He hardly even went there via thoughts. To save his friend’s lives, he will.
He squeezes his eyes shut, the guardian a couple feet away, “I’ve had a crush on Rigby for years!”
Suddenly, with a whoosh of wind, they all find themselves sitting on the ground of Margaret’s apartment once more, hands interlocked. Mordecai opens his eyes and quickly pulls his hands back to himself, eyes locked onto his own lap. Mordecai can feel the stare from Skips, shooting between himself and Rigby.
“Well…” Skips says.
“Welp. We should probably put the diary up and leave!” Mordecai cuts in, grabbing the diary from the table. Rigby stands up, causing Mordecai to almost bump into him. The blue-haired boy mumbles an apology and quickly places the diary back to where it was.
“Let’s go.”
They all slowly walk back to the park and the tension is palpable. Skips is not subtle at all, either. His glances become long stares, analysing each person’s face to see what information he can gather from each. Rigby and Mordecai’s stares are firmly locked with the sidewalk, or an occasional powerline.
They finally make it to the house and Rigby takes two steps at a time up the stairs. Mordecai yells out to stop him, “Wait!” Rigby abruptly stops on the second to last step and twists his body to the taller man. He raises his eyebrow in a simple question.
“I’m sorry. I- I didn’t mean to-”
Rigby cuts him off with a hand motion, “-No, it’s fine. It’s whatever. I have to go to the bathroom so…” Rigby waits a couple seconds before he swivels around and climbs the rest of the stairs. Mordecai hears the bathroom door close, a bit louder than normal.
Fuck.
Mordecai knows he fucked up. How does he even explain anything to Rigby when it doesn’t even make sense to himself? He likes Margaret, he does. But he also likes Rigby. A lot. And it’s painful because their lives are all so intertwined, he didn’t want to ruin anything. Let alone the fact he’s pretty sure Rigby only likes Eileen, distinctly not a guy. Something deep inside his gut tells him that he only entertained his feelings for Margaret because he felt like there was no chance with the one person he would want to be with.
Mordecai rubs his face and groans, forgetting about the other man standing next to him.
“I'm sorry Mordecai. I hate that that happened. If you need any help, let me know. But if you want me to forget it, make sure you forget mine.”
“Deal. Thanks, Skips,” Mordecai half-heartedly pulls a slight smile out of the corner of his mouth.
Mordecai has only known about his feelings for the shorter boy for a couple months, but looking back, it should've been more obvious. The two had met when they were very young, they were both seven years old.
Mordecai remembers when they first met:
It was Mordecai’s first day of second grade and he was beyond excited. He had been waiting to go back to school all summer! He hadn’t made many friends yet, but his mom kept on promising him he would make a new friend because he was so awesome. Mordecai believed her, so he was eager to go back to school and finally make a friend.
He had taken the steps up the bus, when he looked around and noticed someone who wasn’t on the bus previously: a small boy with a raccoon hat on. He had a sucker in his mouth while he swung his feet back and forth. He looked about his own age, so Mordecai approached him, “Is it okay if I sit here?”
The boy turned to him and smiled wide, his missing teeth on display, “Sure! Do you want a sucker?”
Mordecai smiled and accepted the sucker and sat down.
Mordecai remembers that day like it was yesterday. After that day the two were practically inseparable. They would constantly visit each other’s houses and were self proclaimed best friends. Mordecai knows that back then it was pure affection, nothing romantic about it, yet. It wasn’t until middle school that Mordecai could have probably noticed something. At the time he was too stupid to, though.
Mordecai and Rigby had both been invited to their first ever boy-girl party. As merely 7th graders, this was a feat they were happy about. They had both hyped themselves up all day, getting dressed and spraying an ungodly amount of cologne on themselves.
They both walk into the small house “party” (if it could even be called that) basically attached at the hip. This was new for the two of them, and admittedly, Mordecai was a bit scared. It helped knowing that Rigby was scared too.
The party was held in someone’s basement, with their parents upstairs, so the possibilities of this party were quite limited, but it was exciting nonetheless. There was a speaker in the corner of the room, current top 50’s songs playing softly. There was fruit punch that was actually fruit punch on one of the tables. Mordecai knew this was technically one of the lame kid’s parties, but he didn’t care. He was just glad to be invited to anything at all.
It wasn’t until the party-thrower’s older brother, unbeknownst to their parents, snuck down into the basement with some alcohol and a cool light show thing that the party started to get cool. Apparently alcohol in fruit punch still tastes incredible. With the music turned up much louder, lights off with nothing but the spinning lights, and everyone being at least tipsy at this point, the fun began.
Mordecai and Rigby were still hanging off of each other the whole time, and when it was announced by the party-thrower that we were going to “spin the bottle”, they both threw themselves right next to each other in the circle. In Mordecai’s drunken mind, he knew that this meant that he could potentially have to kiss someone, but everything felt so fun right now he didn’t really care. He simply sat until it was his turn and shared jokes and laughs with Rigby.
The bottle made it around the circle until it was Mordecai’s turn to spin. He grabbed the bottle and tried to spin and it accidentally got caught on his own hand. He laughed at himself under his breath before trying again. He watched the glass whoosh around the circle on the floor, slowing down after a couple rotations. Finally, it stopped. It stopped on none other than Rigby.
Rigby squeaked, “Wait! Doesn’t that mean he has to re-spin?”
One of the girls giggled, “No. The rules are the rules!”
For some reason Mordecai suddenly felt sober as he turned to face his best friend of many years. It felt like he could hardly breathe. He didn’t understand what he felt, but he ignored it in favor of tilting his head properly as their lips met for a mere second. If Mordecai was honest, it felt more like kissing his Grandma’s cheek than what he imagined he might be doing tonight, making out, but his heart didn’t seem to get the memo.
Mordecai had spent the rest of the evening replaying it in his head, trying to figure out what made him so nervous. In fact, that night, in bed, he remembers having a dream of the memory, played out moment by moment.
He had woken up and he was still confused.
Mordecai was so confused how it took him very long after that moment to figure out his feelings for his best friends, honestly. But the next moment was genuinely baffling, and it only happened one year after those events.
Mordecai had been invited by his then-girlfriend to her house and he couldn’t have been more nervous. She specifically mentioned to him that her parents wouldn’t be home and he knew exactly what she meant: making out. Which– wouldn’t be an issue if he hadn’t hardly even kissed anyone. He’s done small pecks with her in the hallways of their middle school, but that is totally different than what he’s about to do tonight.
Mordecai examined his face in the mirror while Rigby sat on the closed lid of the toilet, bouncing a ball– for some reason. He inspected his acne that stubbornly doesn’t go away no matter what he tries and frowned. He opened his mouth and saw the braces set upon his teeth. He breathed into his hand and scowled at the foul odor… when was the last time he brushed his teeth? He hastily reached for his mouth hygiene products and started flossing and then brushing his teeth. He finished it off with mouth wash, squelching the liquid all through his mouth.
“Relax, dude. You’re gonna do great. I haven’t done it myself but I heard it comes naturally when you’re there.” Rigby tried to comfort his visibility stressed friend.
“Bro, I’ve hardly even had my first kiss! Hallway kisses barely even count.” Mordeci pulled at his hair in stress.
“What about our kiss?” Rigby made a kissy-face at the taller boy and Mordecai knows it’s a joke. It’s a joke. But this causes him to pause for the second, brain stalling. He got pulled out of it when Rigby cackled.
“Whatever, dude. You know that didn’t count. That wasn’t even a real kiss!”
“Well, if you want we can like… practice.”
“Pratice?” Mordecai was sure his eyebrows reached his hairline. What?
Rigby feigned indifference as he bounced the ball between both of his hands, “I mean, yeah. I know you’re scared and I just wanna help a bro out.” Rigby shyly made eye contact with Mordecai, trying to get a read on what the other boy thought of it.
Mordecai swallowed and collected himself, “I mean… I don’t see why not. Sure. But we have to be quick, I have to be there in a couple hours.”
“Okay. Let’s go to your room.”
They both headed to Mordecai’s room, sitting on the bed. Rigby spoke first, “So… uh. I’ve never actually done this, y’know?”
“Well, me neither. I thought the point of this was so we could figure it out.”
“Right, right.”
They both chose that moment to slowly close the gap between their lips. They both started getting into it, and it was amazing. Once they parted, they both gasped for air. Mordecai had no idea how long he was kissing him for, but it definitely wasn’t enough. For practice.
Later that evening, Mordecai had gone to his girlfriend’s house, and he had made out with her. But for some reason later in the night he didn’t really think about her as much as he probably should have. He went to bed with butterflies in his stomach.
In High School, however, they were somehow even worse.
At this point, their new normal looked a bit different than many other best friends, they knew this, but they didn’t care. They had another sleepover at Mordecai’s house and they both decided to sleep in the same bed. They had made this choice for quite a while now. Rigby usually wakes up much later than Mordecai, and today is no different.
Mordecai woke to the sound of birds chirping outside. The orange sunlight of the sunrise peaks through his curtains as he opens his eyes to take in his surroundings. He feels his back press against the wall of his room. Despite that, his arm is wrapped firmly around the waist of his shorter friend. They cuddle purely for necessity. Mordecai has a twin bed afterall, and they hated airing up the air mattress. Mordecai liked cuddling though, but so what? He’s heard that girls do this too, so what if they do it?
Mordecai looked down and admired his sleeping friend. His hair was messy, dark brown hair smooshed into the fabric of Mordecai’s second pillow. Drool dried on the side of his mouth, Mordecai can’t help but find it weirdly endearing. He knows that maybe this isn’t normal, but it’s just what pops into his head. He quickly dispelled the thought and let out a huff of breath.
Mordecai breathed in deep and set his head back against Rigby.
Even as recently as them getting their jobs at the park, Mordecai’s feelings should’ve been more obvious to himself.
They both walked to the park, applications in hand. They walked through the gates of the park and Mordecai smiled, “This will be good for us, dude. According to the poster, this job gives you a free place to stay! I’m used to dorm life so this is gonna be sick, man!”
Rigby nodded, “Yeah. This is gonna be so easy, dude.”
Mordecai is pretty sure Rigby has had some jobs between high school and now, but he hopes to god that he has learned some more work ethic since their times working at the local ice cream parlor together during high school. Mordecai had worked there first and had recommended they hire Rigby, and every time he messed up, their boss would shoot Mordecai a glare. Thankfully, after two months, Rigby quit to pursue ‘being awesome’.
They finally made it to what appears to be the house where they’ll be staying. They saw a quite fit man who appears to be working on fixing the steps, hammering away. Mordecai stepped up to him, “Excuse me?”
The man turned around and smiled, “Hi! The name’s Skips,” he held his hand out to shake, Mordecai met his hand, “You guys here for the open position?”
Rigby nodded, “Yeah!”
“Alright, follow me.”
He lead them through the front door and up the stairs to a room, the door ajar. “In there is Benson, the boss. Go say hello and he’ll interview you.” Skips skipped away down the stairs, leaving just the two of them standing there.
“After you,” Rigby said, making Mordecai laugh.
Mordecai walked into the room and made a show of knocking on the already open door, “Hello?”
A man going through paperwork looked up and smiled, “Hi! Are you here for the job?”
“Yup!” Rigby said, popping the ‘p’.
“Alright, have a seat.” The two sat in the chairs across his desk and awkwardly looked around before giving him their application and resumes. Benson looked through both of their documents and nodded.
“You guys worked together before, I see. How did that go?”
Mordecai can not be honest about that, so he just nodded, “That went great. We make a good team.” Rigby smiled and made eye contact with Mordecai, Mordecai smiling back.
“Yeah, we do!” Rigby said.
Benson looked between the two for a brief moment before he talked about another thing on Mordecai’s resume. Rigby got a bit bored and tied his foot around Mordecai’s calf. Mordecai gave him a half-hearted glare before he decided it’s not worth it.
“Now, this position was originally for one person, but if you truly do work well together, I can make an exception. But I only have one room and one twin bed right now, so one of you can take the couch,” Benson said..
“Nah, that’s fine.” Mordecai said it so quickly without thinking that he doesn’t remember that sharing a small bed isn’t normal.
Benson raised his eyebrow, “Okay… Well, anyway, I think you guys are all set. You can sleep here tonight and start tomorrow!”
Benson stood up to handshake them once more, before he noticed Rigby’s foot around Mordecai’s leg and paused. “Oh, and um, I’m okay with it by the way.” He made a vague gesture over the two boys.
Mordecai furrowed his eyebrow, “With what?”
Benson dropped his voice, “You know… My uncle is gay, too.”
A blush spread across Mordecai’s cheeks as he tried to explain, “Oh, uh… we aren’t uh—”
“Oh. Oh jeez, I’m sorry for assuming.” Benson rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
Rigby stood up and smiled, “No worries. Thanks for the job!”
Days later and Mordecai still caught himself thinking about that moment.
Mordecai had discovered his own feelings a couple months ago, and all it took was simply putting the pieces together. In hindsight, it was very obvious what he was feeling, but he was blinded by the idea that since he liked women, too. But it felt like he was drowning in guilt every day. Every time he cuddled with Rigby, it felt like he was evil somehow, using him for his own benefit.
He’s stayed down stairs the whole day, avoiding Rigby at all costs. Now, at bed time, he gets an extra blanket and pillow from the closet and makes himself at home on the couch. He listens to the sound of the grandfather clock tick as he stays awake for hours. His mind is swimming in thoughts, how could he fall asleep? At this point, it’s got to be close to midnight.
His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the last stair step squeaking under someone’s feet. Mordecai sits up and turns around, eyes locking with Rigby, “Rigby?”
“Hi.” Rigby smiles but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes. He walks around the couch and sits down next to the taller man. “You didn’t have to sleep on the couch, y’know?”
“I thought it would be weird if we slept in the same room.”
“Mordecai, I don’t hate you.”
“Really?” Mordecai examines Rigby’s face for truth.
“Really. And, can I be honest? I was mainly acting how I did because I was scared of things changing.”
“Changing?”
“Yeah, because I knew I wanted to do this.”
It’s a second later when Mordecai feels Rigby’s lips falling on top of his for the third time in his life. But this time, he’s allowed to enjoy it. He pushes past the mental gymnastics trying to understand what’s going on and he enjoys it. Rigby nibbles at Mordecai’s bottle lip and he gasps, Rigby invading his tongue in the other’s mouth, searching. Without knowing, this is what Mordecai’s been waiting for. Since their last kiss nearly a decade ago, he’s been waiting for this. Mordecai melts into the kiss, hands going up to grasp at Rigby’s hair.
Rigby groans when he suddenly separates the two, “That was great, but we should talk.”
Mordecai breathes out, “Yeah.”
“So, I like you.” Mordecai smiles and nods.
Though he has one question, “What about Eileen.”
“Well, frankly, I was only going for her because I thought you were into Margaret and didn’t want to get in between that,” Mordecai starts laughing, leaving Rigby confused, “What?”
Mordecai wipes an imaginary tear and he explains, “I didn’t date you because I thought you liked Eileen!”
They both double over together and laugh for a while before Rigby pipes in, “God, we’re so stupid.”
“Yeah. We are.”
They both kiss once more, hands wrapping around each other’s before they make their way upstairs. Mordecai is glad it ended up this way.