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Can this day get any worse?
Not only did the Captain insist to have a one-on-one talk concerning your declining performance, but your damned brain just didn't work well enough under pressure to come up with a convenient lie.
It's become blatantly obvious that your mind is constantly preoccupied with that foolish infatuation of yours, despite knowing a mere mortal could never even dream of gaining his affection.
Sure enough, Q could literally read your every wish from your lips. He'd take you on wondrous adventures, take you places no human should ever lay sight on. Uses his powers to indulge you in every way possible, without you having to ask.
And, of course, the sex is mindblowing. After all he never tires and has basically no limits, which ensured pleasure way beyond what you knew was possible.
Either way, his little tricks never impressed you much, his bragging annoyed you more than anything, really.
But there were short insights of the real Q shimmering through the almighty facade - and those made you believe he wasn't just a tediously bored deity who only came down to our level to entertain itself.
In the end however, Q is only using you in particular for his own personal amusement, to satisfy a curiosity that stirred up during his brief time as one of your kind.
You're in love, not naive.
Whaterver you may call everything that's happened between you two, you're simply his current obsession, a pastime to something far greater than humanity and transcending their pitiful useless emotions.
Surely he'll grow bored of you eventually.
Of course you didn't tell your superior any of this, or anyone on the Enterprise to be precize. It was your shameful but indulgent little secret, and even though being aware of it's finitude, you'd savour every moment you were so graciously offered.
Well, the pathetic excuse you came up with on the spot seems to have made things only worse. Now the Captain and everyone else in the crew seems to think you're somewhat unstable and removed you from duty indefinitely, even assigning you to mandatory sessions with Counselor Troi.
Honestly, you have no idea how long you'd be able to withstand under those circumstances.
Maybe it's better to just confess your treason and accept that dishonorable discharge. Would get you far enough away for Q to lose interest a bit sooner, probably.
Speaking of the devil...
As soon as the door to your quarters slid shut, the entire room shifted into the most corny kind of romantic scenery: A candlelight dinner with your favourite selection of food and beverage, complete with a violinist that popped up just like that.
You let out an exhausted sigh as you rounded the table without biding it a proper glance, throwing yourself onto the bed face first just to choke on some rose petals that were dispersed on it.
"Rough day, my love?" Q's voice echoes through the walls way before he appears next to you, lovingly stroking your hair as you muffle into the pillow. "You have no idea..."
"Actually, I have..." he chuckles to himself and you roll on your back, staring at the ceiling instead of his eyes. Can't afford to give in that easily. "Unbelievable that you'd lie to your beloved Captain for me" he sighs dreamily, the amusement in his tone not going past you.
Oh he's enjoying himself for sure.
"Also: Wise decision to turn down that unworthy fella yesterday" he muses as he reappears lying right next to you. "Spares me the trouble of endlessly explaining why I sent him into the void."
You turn just enough to glare at him, and yet his grin is victorious for now he finally has your whole attention.
That Ensign had been openly flirting with you for quite some time now, but worry about Q's reaction wasn't your only concern. It would simply be unfair to bind yourself to anyone while your heart already belongs to someone else.
"You know I don't like others touching my toys" he chants as he boops your nose, voice innocent but with a subtle threat lingering beneathe.
A toy. That's what you are.
The word feels like a branding iron to your heart, winding itself around your insides until you feel nothing but empty.
"Eat something." A request, not a suggestion. "You haven't eaten all day. How are you mortals always so negligent to your own needs?"
Though coming across a bit rude, it was meant to be a kindness. You know that, know him and the way he hides behind mockery.
But all you can think of right now is how suffocating his idea of 'care' truly is.
When you are favoured by a nearly omnipotent being that doesn't see time or space as a binding concept, everything you do becomes a performance - because you could never be sure whether he was watching, but it always felt like it.
"Not hungry" you mumble surly but he didn't seem to get the hint, instead straddling your waist with a devious smirk etched into his face.
"Is that so..." Q practically purrs as he leans over, teeth gracing the shell of your ear. "...then we can go straight to dessert."
"Q..." you only manage to breathe in a whisper, lip stuttering as he brushes his thumb across it. He looks nothing short of magnificent illuminated by the dim candlelight, eyes glistening with mischief but his expression making him appear almost believable enamored.
Tender yet insistingly, you push him away and he pauses mid motion, putting a hand to his chest dramatically - and yet his smile does not falter, if anything it becomes even softer.
"Just...not in the mood" you manage to wring out, barely putting up a fight against the tears urging to spill over.
With a snap of his fingers, everything has been restored to it's original state, and Q kneels at the side of your bed, looking up at you unusually serious. "Then tell me what you want, and I'll make it reality."
You laugh.
Really, you didn't mean to, but the absurdity of his statement overcame you before better judgement could stop it.
It was a bitter, hurting sound, tethering on the edge of a desperate sob.
Q was not easily concerned, but if he didn't know any better seeing you like this evoked something dangerously close to compassion.
"No offense" you say, wiping at your eyes. "But I doubt you can."
For the fraction of a second, Q's bravado drops completely. It's impossible to tell what he's thinking at that moment, but the way his lips press into a thin line indicates your accusation came across wrong.
"Bold assumption" he declares grimly, rising from his spot to gesture around in order to accentuate his statement. "But luckily for you I'm always up for a challenge."
"There's no need to" you snivel, and his sharp features drop instantly at the sound. "You've more than repayed your debt, haven't you?"
"Nonsense!" You nearly flinch at the intensity of his voice. "You saw me at my lowest, most undignified state. And in spite of my past transgressions you found it in you to be kind."
Tentatively, Q cups your chin with both his hands, lifting it with the utmost gentleness so you'd see the genuine devotion in his eyes. "If anything, you are the only one on this damned ship deserving to benefit from my powers."
"But that's not what I want...I-I..." Your voice cracks under the weight of your emotions, wondering if he was making a game out of something he might as well has read in your mind a long time ago.
And yet you can't help but pour out your heart.
"I want you!" you cry, face burying in the crook of his neck so you wouldn't have to see the probably disgusted look on his face as he turns you down. "I want to be with you, in a serious relationship, even though I know it can never work out like this..."
There is a long stretch of silence between your confession and his answer.
"I may be a novice at such primitive bonds, but I was under the impression we are doing everything people in a committed relationship do?" He doesn't sound condescending at all, just genuinely confused. "Share a bed, go on dates, know everything about the other..."
"I barely know anything about you!" you blurt out, talking yourself into a fit in spite of the embarassment of whining about heartache to a literal god. "Sure, you higher lifeforms are hard for us to comprehend, but..." You don't even know what point you were going to make, just that you want to let out all those nagging insecurities. "Also, you're always gone doing god knows what with god knows who!"
"Oh." He chuckles adoringly, "I didn't strike you to be the jealous type."
"This isn't funny, Q!" Yet you gently pinch him, to which he lets out a delighted laugh in return. "I can never be your equal..."
"I never asked you to" he shrugs. "In fact I am glad you're so refreshingly different."
You feel Q's embrace loosening to take ahold of your shoulders. "Now look at me, my dear."
Unable to resist you lean into his touch, tears long since running freely but he simply chooses to kiss them away, savoring this testimony of such deep feelings he never thought he could cherish.
"I'm just the same" he admits in a rare moment of growth, though still guarded by fake confidence. "I'm nothing without my powers."
"That's not true!" you protest, and he can't help the lovestruck smile creeping onto his face at your passionate display. "You are witty, charismatic, funny...so much more than those stupid abilities."
"You flatter me, even though you stated the obvious." Q wraps his arms around you, smothering your whole face in kisses once again. "Then why shouldn't I be able to feel the same about you?"
You truly had no answer to that.
"So..." you try to change the topic, suddenly feeling idiotic for beating yourself up for weeks over something that could've been resolved so easily. Q didn't mind, in fact he was the dramaqueen out the two of you most of the time, but still. "You never thought to ask me to be your mate?"
Q puffs through his mouth, rolling his eyes in mock annoyance. "Stop being difficult. Do you humans need to rationalize the wonder out of everything?"
"That was a joke." You snort, pecking a quick kiss onto his lips before laying a more tender one atop of it. Q eagerly pulls you into his lap, no intent to let go anytime soon as he gasps sensually against your mouth - a conscious action more than a reflex - and you appreciate the sentiment either way.
"Better leave the humor to me, beautiful."