Work Text:
When We Were Young - The Killers (VERSE 1):
You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now, here he comes
Jinpachi Ego is not what Noel Noa imagined him to be.
Ego is not attractive, not in the conventional way like Chris Prince, but Noa wouldn't have wanted anyone to look like Chris. He can see the potential, though, when Ego hunches over his notebook, scribbling madly and occasionally tapping Noa to ask for advice, asking how do you think this play would've gone if I hadn't fucked it up? in complete seriousness, even when passerby laugh. So, Ego is not a beautiful boy, but he's striking, all sharp angles and light reflecting off his glasses when Noa wakes up to get water.
"What the fuck are you doing awake, Jin?"
Noa nicknames Ego this in his mind and likes how it sounds - soft, slipping off the tongue. He also knows that Jin hates the shorthand of his name with a passion, often retorting with some spin on Noah's ark.
"Well, Noah, I don't have to repopulate the entire human race tomorrow, so you needn't worry. Go back to sleep."
Noa wouldn't mind that Jin always had a comeback ready if he didn't use them as defense for sleeping as little as two hours a night. It's alright, though. Noa, surprising himself, doesn't mind caring for his roommate.
The day after Noa met his roommate, he searched up every meaning of Jinpachi, then Jin.
Definition 1: tremendous, great, or extreme
Oh, so, this is why Noa can't breathe whenever Jin steps onto the field. Everyone speaks about players like Chris, or Noa himself having presence on the pitch, but it's more impressive how when Jin arrives, a collective breath is held until the match starts, and they need to keep inhaling, intaking oxygen to keep up with Jin and Noa.
Every single match, it's him and Jin, the twin strikers racing against each other to score the most and with better hat tricks than the last. Noa is secretly pleased whenever the teachers comment on this, because they mean it as a compliment. No one, except for him, he supposes, can keep up with Jin's plans when he's fifty steps ahead of the pack. Noa can barely keep up, hanging onto his coattails, and out of all his stats being at the top, number one player awards, he's most proud of the fact that he can keep up with Jin.
Definition 2: benevolence, kindness, or humanity
Fuck that. Ego may be determined, could be stronger than anyone else in the room, could be working for the greater good without being kind or benevolent.
Noa thinks this while ignoring how Ego will go to bed an hour later than he normally would to slip a paper into Noa's desk detailing his shortcomings and training to remedy them. He's clearly just doing this so that Noa can't complain, "Jin, you're superhuman!", and Jin can retort that he obviously isn't, does Noa see the bags under his eyes? He must be a useless fucking superhuman, then, to be this weak.
And Noa will respond, no, you're weak physically, yet you're still at the top of our class in strategy and play. That's what superhuman is. Then, the two will lapse into comfortable silence, Noa stretching and Ego curled into himself, calculating the odds of each team he would play next, and then Noa's stats.
They are closer than most roommates, and Noa knows this when all of his friends complain about their own living arrangements and then slyly ask him if he wants to join in on their whining.
Ego isn't perfect, yes, but he seems to care for Noa. All of his little quirks aren't dealbreakers; leaving yakitori packages and protein shake bottles are easily remedied. No, what really annoys Noa is that Ego doesn't take care of himself. As shown with his sleep schedule, Jin thinks of his "winning philosophy" first, in-class performance second, and everything else is negligible.
Once, Noa had kept every single protein wrapper that Ego threw away in a large ziploc pag and thrust it triumphantly towards him after only two weeks of collecting them.
"That." Jin had stared at him, bemused, as if thinking oh, what shenanigans my roommate gets up to.
"That is forty-seven protein bars."
"Yes, I believe your premise. I don't understand why you insist on reminding me what I ate."
"You've eaten forty-seven protein bars over the last two days, and I know you only eat protein bars when you skip meals."
Ego tries to brush it off, but he's honestly surprised that Noel noticed. Noel's entire life, as far as Ego knows, consists of training, eating, and sleeping, annoying Ego for tips in between any of the given activities. Ego had been skipping breakfast and lunch lately; grabbing a protein bar on the way to class instead, but protein bars were still food. He wasn't compromising his performance.
"I don't see how any of this actually matters to you, so."
Ego makes to get out of the room, sidestepping Noel and then tripping over - goddamnit, he's told Noel to stop leaving his shoes right in front of the door - and Noel catches him mid-lunge.
"Fucking - get off of me! I have rights!"
And then Noel starts fucking giggling. Ego can feel his mouth start twitching into a smile, because Noel's actually tolerable when he laughs. If only Noel's dudebro friends, the players who got into this school purely on physical ability, could see him now. Laughing, golden eyes tilted up to the ceiling lights, still holding Ego by the waist.
"Eat with me." Noa can already see Jin's mouth forming a no in protest, but he quickly releases Jin, all except for a single hand, and drags him away to the dining hall.
"I despise you," Ego says, and he does.
Really.
So when Ego allows himself to be dragged to eat some normal fucking food, Jin, you can't survive on supplements, and accepts Noa's nickname for him, it's out of exhaustion.
Noa feels Jin relax in his grip, and wonders how he became an 80s movie trope; the jock falling for the nerd.
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After they graduated, Noa and Jin shared an apartment. It's bad to have to room with your twink crush, and it's even worse to keep rooming with him past high school, seeing Jin's jersey hung up on his door and Noa *accidentally* placing his next to it.
He couldn't say no, though, not when Jin came up to him, more nervous than ever before, a week before the end of school.
Jin was holding his computer face open, mouth pressed into a grim line as if he were about to tell Noa that either of them had contracted a deadly disease. Noa had been about to jump out of the window, because he would rather be unconscious than been there, right then - and then Jin pulled up a forty-two slide powerpoint on why it was more efficient for them to room together.
Jin probably had worked on this presentation for days. There were detailed graphics, pie charts, and Noa only registered a deep, bottomless relief that Jin's announcement hadn't been anything serious.
"So?"
Jin looked at him expectantly. Was he supposed to answer? Noa already knew what he would say, what he would always say.
"Yes."
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Creep - Radiohead (VERSE 1)
When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
There's a brief five minute period for hydration breaks, and Noa should be strategizing. Chris Prince was dumb enough to think that he could beat Jin with the sheer power of muscle, and now they were losing 1-2 for Noa's team.
He really, really wants to bash Chris's head in. Oh, he thought he could beat Jin without any plan whatsoever - and even during this match?
Jin was radiant. Something had clicked for him, halfway through the match, and as much as Noa tried to pay attention to where the ball was going, he couldn't help but squint right above Jin's back, to see if there was an angel (or a demon, more likely) lifting him across the field, plotting out the future of the match and carrying Jin along.
"It's not my fucking fault," Chris protested, for probably the fiftieth time in the last five minutes. "I didn't know that he would ascend or some shit. It's like he drank one too many Prince Energies."
Chris winked at the camera. Seeing the light of God in Jin's eyes, and Chris immediately saw an opportunity for marketing.
"Shut up, Prince."
Noa loved his coach, if only because he constantly pointed out Chris on his bullshit.
"Noa."
"Sir?"
"Do you know their Number 11?"
How to respond to that?
Yes, coach, I do know "that number eleven". I quite literally tuck him in every night because Jin doesn't seem to know what a sleep schedule is, I made his breakfast this morning because he has zero sense of self-care and would have cup noodles for every meal if I didn't cook for him.
I followed him from the academy and I'm trailing behind him over ten years later.
I see him. Every morning and night, yes, but even more than that - I see him and how much he cares behind the bluntness that's shocking at first, until you realize that his getting straight to the point is more efficient.
Sir, I think I'm gay for Jinpachi Ego, and that I would be able to recognize his soul beyond the body.
I know him best, out of everyone on the planet, and I know that we can't beat whatever holy monstrosity he's become.
He's a god, and I don't know how none of you noticed it earlier. We're losing by a point and there's only half an hour left in the game, but I'd be glad to lose as long as I can play for the rest of the game.
"Noa?"
"Sir, put me in the game."
The coach wrinkles his forehead in confusion.
"Noa, you've been in the game, and have been a starter for years."
"I understand that, sir, but - "
"And I'm not going to take you out when you're the only one on our team who can keep up with him."
"Thank you, sir."
Thank you.
I didn't say this - I didn't realize it, but I don't know if Jin can sustain himself. This event has close to zero percent of reproductibility, but even if it's selfish, I want to be there to witness the spectacle of the crash.
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Angel of the Morning - Juice Newton (VERSE 2)
Maybe the sun's light will be dim
And it won't matter anyhow
If morning's echo says we sinned
Well, it was what I wanted now
Number 11, Jinpachi Ego with the ball - he dribbles past Prince and Noa - and scores!
Noel Noa and Jinpachi Ego battling for the goal until the bitter end, but Number 11 got the better of him.
In other words:
To the bitter end, he got the better of me.
As soon as Noa's teammates had left the locker room, he had left to find Jin.
There he was, already about to leave in a sleek black car that they shared, and Noa waited to approach him, and watched him for a moment.
Jin was opening his mouth, about to input directions to the GPS, but went dead still, turning around - holy shit, he had seen Noa.
Their eyes met across the pavement. Noa's phone beeped, and Jin held up his own phone to signal that the text was from him.
Get in the fucking van.
Noa got in the fucking van, and noticed the imagery too late - a princess jumping into the arms of his prince, or close to the equivalent.
He didn't realize how cinematic they looked, and he, of course, didn't notice that there was someone else watching Jin, the star of the game - a sports reporter.
Consequently, someone did notice when they made out for the first time in the front seat of the car.
If this was a different world:
The reporter sent the pictures to his boss, who approved the writing of an article on the two if them. There would've been applause, thousands of fans across the world who cheered Jin and Noa on for their relationship built on trust and camaraderie, the casual affection they displayed. There would've been confetti and magazine issues with their names emblazoned on the cover together.
In this world:
The reporter sent the pictures to his boss, and his boss published the article: Tell - All: The Details on a Soccer Scandal! (Your favorite soccer player is GAY). There were slurs, and death threats, and instead of cradling each other to sleep, Noel and Jin stayed wide-awake in their separate beds, scrolling and drafting and deleting too many texts to the other.
That is soon to come, but it is not yet.
So for now, Jin and Noel hold each other, using their special names in the house they made a home of. Together, they tumble into bed, Noa laughing breathlessly at Jin's attempts to take off their clothing, and Jin responds with the ghost of a grin in turn (we're here again, already?). It's messy and it takes a while to adjust, but they fall into a rhythm that they're comfortable with.
Jin isn't used to being cuddled, and at first, he stiffens like a board and Noel coaxes him into sleep.
They will look back on this and realize that it was too good to last.
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Heather - Conan Gray (PRECHORUS)
Walks by
What a sight for sore eyes
Brighter than the blue sky
She's got you mesmerized while I die
Noa doesn't have any hate for Teieri Anri, the much beloved "mother" of Blue Lock.
No, he doesn't hate her, but he wishes that she could be anywhere but here, and selfishly, he wishes that she had left Ego to his own devices, instead of making him food and cleaning up after him. Noa, wandering the Blue Lock facilities at night, wonders if he were Anri; if he was less robotic to everyone else, then if he could have had a life with Ego.
He roams the halls at night, and stares up at the cameras in every corner, knowing that Ego is watching. Noa likes to flatter himself, to think that it's because it's Noa that's walking around that Ego is paying attention. He knows that Ego would have monitored the feed anyway, but if he thinks it for only a second, Noa can convince himself into thinking it's reality.
One night, the last night of the Neo Egoist League, after the PxG vs. Bastard München match.
Noa's been keeping a mental map of the facility in his head, all this time, and it's not to find Ego's control room. It's to navigate better, despite the nagging voice in his head reminding him that Ego made the way to find it difficult on purpose. There's only one hallway he hasn't gone down yet.
Up the hallway he's in now, a right turn on the next four and then a left.
The room opens automatically - likely for Anri to move around, and no one had expected the boys to find the room in the first place. He steps inside.
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Lyin' Eyes - The Eagles (VERSE 8 & CHORUS)
My, oh my, you sure know how to arrange things
You set it up so well, so carefully
Ain't it funny how your new life didn't change things?
You're still the same old girl you used to be
You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes
Noel Noa, the star striker of Bastard München, doesn't belong here behind the door of Ego's little corner of Blue Lock. Noel's visibly straining to fit through the door, which previously had only accommodated a malnourished former player and his petite assistant.
Noa finally squeezes in through the doorway - sideways, and Ego resists the urge to start mocking him. There was a reason why Ego had isolated himself behind a screen, why he had never come out of his office before the NEL to set a precedent for his absence. He wasn't taking any chances with Noa. The stubborn, infuriatingly persistent man would try to talk to him, and that would ruin everything he had sacrifice.
"Why did you invite me here?"
Ego weighs his options - deflect, or answer honestly so that Noa will leave him alone.
"Why did you come?"
Noa sighs in frustration, and it should really be Ego who's annoyed. He'd told Noa to stop calling and texting him years ago, to stop trying to find him, and once he did, to stop waiting by the door like an abandoned puppy.
"You left me, Jin. Not the other way around."
Oh. Oh. Ego had never meant for Noel to find out, not initially, but he'd forgotten how lukewarm Noa's intuition was around him.
Ego had broken up with Noel because it was simply the most efficient way to secure the other's career as a player.
After the article was released, they knew that there would be repercussions. They knew, and at first they had held each other through the worst of it, but Ego knew that even though they could make it through the night, Noel's career wouldn't.
It was an obvious choice. Ego realized as soon as the game was over, in front of the cheering crowd, that he would never play this well again. The god of soccer had left him. But Noel - he could make it through the paparazzi and bad publicity unscathed if Ego took the fall. It was a simple choice to make, but Ego knew that for this to work, they couldn't be caught again. Let the public believe that their relationship had been an accident after one set of photos, fine. But if they found more evidence to convict the two, Noel's career would be over.
So, he left. He left in the middle of the night, picking up the "getaway bag" he had packed last night when Noa went out for an away game. It was easier, this way.
Or so he thought, but now he's staring up at Noa from his desk chair and Noa - Noel, looks as if Ego had not only stabbed him in the back, but twisted the knife as well.
"Why did you invite me?"
Well. Ego can't explain it now, because that would be the opposite of closure. Reopening the wound, really. So he responds with a half truth:
"You're one of the best strikers of one of the best clubs. Why would I not invite you?"
Fuck. He had only meant to drive Noel out of his office, but now the taller man is furious, eyes shining with unshed tears. Ego had needed Noel for the project to succeed, yes, but he was also curious to see his reaction to Kaiser and Isagi's chemical reaction; how Ego and Noa were being echoed, reborn in the new generation. He wondered if Noa would notice the symbolism.
"You still can't tell the truth?"
Ego was infamous for being too blunt, Noel knew that all too well.
"Jin?"
Jin clears his throat.
"You should leave."
"I should."
Still, neither of them moves for the door. If Noel isn't going to leave, then Jin will let himself be kicked out of his own control room. He knows that Noel won't touch anything of significance. Jin steps up to the exit, but Noel's blocking him.
"Really, Noel?"
The use of his old nickname shocks Noa enough to create a space for Jin to pass through.
This is closure, right?
Noa stays in the room for two more hours, examining the artifacts of a life lived without him there beside its architect.