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It was a late afternoon and Ethan was laying down on their long couch, feeling a little sluggish. He wanted to take a nap but just couldn't. It's still hard to relax even after so many years of his trauma.
Karl went on a shopping trip (strange). Even though Ethan insisted on going with him, he refused, claiming that he knows how to buy things. That's not what happened last week when he mixed up laundry detergent with floor detergent but apparently we don't talk about this.
Click!
The blonde man flinched at the sudden sound of the door opening but it was just his husband.
“You came back, took you long enough, what did you get?”
Karl stood silently in front of him, face completely still as he held a black plastic bag in his left hand.
“..nothing.”
Was all that came from Heisenberg's mouth before he walked hurriedly to the bathroom and shut the door.
“Ookaay..?”
Ethan replied, completely weirded out by his behavior, he didn't bother hiding anything from him before.
On the other side of the bathroom door, Karl sat on the toilet seat in mild panic, good thing he brought multiple boxers with him.
How am I gonna do this?!
“Ugh..”
He groaned, flipping the pads’ package backwards,
Sure there's instructions on this thing!
He tried to search for them but all he was reading was qualities of soft cotton pads and breathable, flexible pads.
“Who gives a shit about this?!”
He shouted in frustration which seemed to catch Ethan's attention outside.
“Karl? Are you okay?”
Ethan asked, knocking on the door gently with clear worry in his tone.
“Uhhhh…yes! Everything's perfect, buttercup!”
“Okay..”
Winters was still weirded out, his mind unintentionally went to a million scenarios of what was in that bag. Surely it wasn't alcohol, he didn't feel any shame around it, not cigars, but what would he buy for himself and hide?
Drugs…? No! Where would he buy drugs? He barely knows our area.
“Okay so…”
He opened a pad and stared at it.
“Ughh..why are there no instructions?!”
He whispered, not wanting Ethan to hear him.
“It's supposed to be placed on my underwear, right?”
The ex-lord looked at the paper pieces at the back and front again.
Oh there's an arrow!
He removed the front piece then poked the wings in curiosity.
Oh! Sticky!
He stared at it again then a realization flickered in his head.
“Ohh! It sticks!”
He removed the second paper piece at the back then adjusted the pad on his underwear, wrapping the wings to the sides of it.
“I'm a fucking genius.”
A smile lit up his face in pride, he pulled his underwear up and his giddy smile disappeared instantly as he realized the uncomfortable feeling of someone having a pad in their underwear.
“Ughh..feels like a goddamn diaper..”
He sucks it up anyway, he can't let Ethan know.
In the meantime, Ethan laid on the couch, trying to nap again and forget about whatever business Karl is doing in the bathroom.
Heisenberg checked every corner of the bathroom for drops of blood before washing his previous bloody underwear with cold water.
“Fuck. How am I gonna hide this?”
The ex-lord looked around for anything he could use then spotted the black plastic bag.
Phew!
He used the bag to hide the underwear inside and the package, flushed the toilet that looked like someone murdered a whole fish family at its bottom and finally stepped out.
Ethan crooked his head backwards as he heard the click of the door.
“You got out, finally! What were you doing in there?”
Karl stared awkwardly still, full blown alarms are going off in his head while he looked like a stone statue.
“Uh.. what do you think people do in bathrooms?”
The blonde stared awkwardly, he shouldn't have asked that.
“Sorry.. that got awkward..”
The ex-lord walked to the laundry room and quickly shoved his boxers in the washing machine.
“Hey, Karl?”
“Huh?”
“What's inside this bag?”
“Uhhh.. nothing.”
Ethan just looked at him like he was the most stupid man ever.
“Really?”
“...yeah…”
Ethan sighed then got up to the laundry room.
whatever Karl put in there was surely getting mixed with the wrong batch.
He kneeled down in front of the washing machine and sighed.
“Karl! You know I don't mix undergarments with clothes!”
Karl face palmed himself in the kitchen,
Fuck!
At least they're washed…
He tried to reassure himself but that doesn't work when your own brain is the source of your stress.
Ethan took the boxers out, a sudden confusion washed over him.
“What..?”
They were surely wet but before he could get up to ask his partner about it, he noticed a mild iron smell to them.
His face twisted is confusion as he stepped out to the kitchen.
“Hey Karl, why are your-”
He found him standing in front of the stove, boiling water with the green tea package sat on the table.
“Are you making green tea?”
“...yeah, yes I am.”
The engineer replied, stone faced as if the blonde man caught him stealing or something.
Ethan had a confused smile on, he was acting like a dumbass which was somehow cute but he was always a bitter black coffee drinker.
“I thought you never drank tea, especially green tea.”
Winters remarked, amused at the sudden change.
“Can't I try something new? Unless you want to consume the whole thing alone.”
His confident charm came back for a minute which made his lover chuckle.
“Nah, I'm happy to have company.”
They both smiled softly, Ethan almost forgot why he came here in the first place.
“Oh yeah! Why does your underwear have an iron smell?”
Oh shit! Should've used soaf you dumbass!
The ex-lord ended up staring at him like a wall. His mind just blocked, there were no more excuses, he can't run from this.
He took a deep breath, turned off the burner and stood straight.
“Ethan, we gotta talk about something..”
His husband felt mild heat spread from his stomach up as he thought of horrible things.
“Yeah..?”
“Without the boxers.”
Karl pointed out making his lover look down at his hand in confusion.
“Oh! Yeah, yeah.. haha..”
He put the underwear in a separate basket for later then hurried to the kitchen where he found his partner waiting for him at the kitchen table.
“Hey!..”
Karl chuckled at his anxious demeanor.
“Calm down, I'm not dying!”
Ethan chuckled awkwardly, that was of course not what he was thinking about!
He sat in the chair at the opposite end, crossing his fingers together and putting them in front of him.
“So?”
The ex-lord smiled,
“Listen, this is…weird, I can't hide it, I live with you so, I have a menstrual cycle.”
Ethan didn't get it. He just stared, confused, then his eyes widened slowly as he realized.
“OH! Oh..shit… I'm so sorry!”
“Hahaha! It's alright, Papa bear.”
Karl laughed heartly, patting Ethan's forearm in a reassurance manner, his laughter filling the room.
“No really! I'm so sorry, I didn't know!”
“Ahh, that's exactly why it's okay, buttercup, you didn't know! Can't blame you, no one would imagine Lord Karl Heisenberg! Having a menstrual cycle, would they now?”
“Ex-lord.”
Ethan pointed out, eyebrows up as he expected Karl to remember that which earned him a ‘yeah, yeah, you know’.
“Is that why you were making green tea? Do you have camps?”
“Yes.. I was making tea for it and I do have cramps but not as deadly as some people do.”
The blonde man huffed a chuckle,
“Well now we have to separate your period underwears from mine until you finish.”
Karl let out a long loud yawn as he stretched his aching back.
“Come to think about it, I think my back hurts more than usual.”
“Oh, you could put a heating pad on it!”
“...they make heating ones too?..”
“Oh haha, no, It's like a little blanket that you can wrap around your stomach and back that heats up electrically and you can control it.”
“..mm, well, we do have tea, that gotta do for now.”
The half laycan man dismisses it for later but his lover insists.
“No, this is the perfect timing! we could buy it now and you can use it whenever you get your next period.”
Karl shrugs.
“I don't know.”
“Come-on, I'll get it if you don't want to go with me.”
The taller man didn't know what to say, he didn't want his partner to pile up the responsibility of taking care of him on top of taking care of everything but himself.
“Eh..look, Ethan, you don't have to do this, I went through decades of this with no help, I can survive a few bloody days with nothing.”
The blonde man didn't buy that.
“That's bullshit. Just because you weren't acknowledged, doesn't mean I should just leave you, it'll relieve your pain.”
Karl dismissed it with a loud sigh.
“So you'll buy it?”
“Yes!”
Ethan replied like it was so obvious.
“Alright then I'm coming with you, don't want to stay here alone.”
The shorter one looked at him with a cocky face and one eyebrow pulled up,
“I thought you hated going shopping?”
Karl scoffed but couldn't help the light smile tugging at the corners of his mouth,
“I do, hate is a strong word, liebe, it's more of ‘dislike’ with you.”
Ethan chuckled, then told the engineer that they should go by now, holding his hand and partially dragging his bigger body behind him, he definitely wasn't enthusiastic about it!
“Put on your seat belt! Don't want you to hit your head like last time.”
“Ughhh! It wasn't even my fault, the kid crossed a busy road, it was definitely their fault.”
“Well I can't exactly drive over children so put it on!”
“Weeell, Technically speaking-!”
“Shut up~!”
The blonde replies playfully, a chuckle slips from him as he shoves his husband's bearded face away who instead grabs his scarred wrist and kisses his palm cheekily.
“Kar- haha!- what are you doing-?”
Karl suddenly reaches for Ethan's sides, wrapping his strong arms around him and pulling him into a tight bear hug,
“Woah-! Wai- Hahahah-!”
Ethan laughs out loud, his sides tickling as he sank his face into the crook of his lover's neck, surrounded by his body warmth whilst being in an awkward position.
Karl's back pushed against his side’s door, one leg up on the seat while the other was put down. Ethan however, was nuzzling his head against the ex-lord’s neck, now sitting on Heisenberg’s lap as his arms were still around him.
A stranger walked by, standing in shock then slowly continuing their walk, the view of the two looking so misleading from that point away.
“Gotcha!”
The engineer exclaimed happily, his husband letting out a laugh as he adjusted his head to look at him.
“Do the hormones make you love me more?”
He asked playfully with a soft sparkle in his eyes.
Karl tilted his head downwards to look him in the eyes.
“hm, you mean love my sweet, absolutely hot attractive, sickly adorable husband more?”
He replies cockily, his Ethan chuckles softly, a rush of blood tinting his cheeks and nose.
“I love you so much, I just love you…I love you so much, papa bear!”
Karl buries his face in Ethan's neck and showers it with kisses then a little obsessively takes in his lover's scent which made the man in his arms
Squeal softly then gently pull back.
“I love you too but we're not as quick as I thought we'd be.
Let's continue…this when we come back home.”
He puts on the seat belt after sitting down properly.
“Yeah! LET'S GET THIS ELECTRIC BACK PAD!”
Ethan surpasses his laughter then drives to a store his GPS found.
Karl stayed in the passenger seat, not really feeling like getting up, a bit of cramps attacking him at the moment making him sink into the car seat uncomfortably.
“Aw, shit..”
The blonde man stood in the middle of an aisle designated for menstrual hygiene, only to realize that he absolutely didn't know where to find a heating pad.
He looked around for workers that he might be able to ask but didn't know which were regular customers and which were not.
Ethan fidgeted with his thumbs then walked through the aisle, looking for what he needed but he couldn't find it!
He peeked at the other aisles, hoping to find someone-
Yes!
He spotted a young worker on her phone, chewing gum whilst texting. She certainly looked a bit controversial, at least for older people, she was, what was that word rose was explaining before? Goth, yeah, goth.
I think that's goth?
He thought but there was no time to waste, Karl was waiting and for sure didn't bring extra pads.
He approached her awkwardly, not wanting to interrupt her, assumed, break.
“Excuse me?...”
She looked up at him,
“Yes?”
“Um, I think you work here?”
“Yes I do, do you need any help?”
She asked calmly with a raised eyebrow.
“Ah, yes, I was looking for a…heating pad? You know like an pad that heats up for period-”
“Oh, yeah, yeah I know!
Come with me!”
She was surprisingly friendly, not like what the stereotypes of alternative people were in the 2000s.
“It should be at the very end, there's different sizes so you could choose what you need.”
“Oh..”
Ethan stood now in front of the medicine and health aisle.
“Why are heating pads put here?”
The teen shrugged.
“Not all people use them for period pain so yeah.
I'll be there if you need any help.”
“Oh, okay, thank you!”
“Anytime!”
The goth girl smiled then stood back where she was and continued texting.
In the meantime, Karl turned on the radio, hoping that it'd help him calm down or something-
“Does your pad always shift and cause a blood scene? Worry not Ladies be-”
“Fuck you!..”
Heisenberg muttered, immediately turning off the radio then lit a cigarette. It was probably not the best decision, according to his fine taste in cigars and to that one google search he's done but he can barely contain himself.
Minutes later, Ethan hopped inside and shut the door.
“Phew! Here you go, that's an electric one.”
“Oh! Finally!”
Karl exclaimed happily. He opened the package and unfolded the pad.
“Wha..why is it a blanket?”
He stared at the short blanket-like heater.
Ethan turned for a quick second to cough, the smoke of the cigarette stinking up the air inside the car.
“Yea..ugh! Sorry- ahem!
Well, some are small but that's the only electric one I found, you can just put it on your lap and control it with that little remote.”
“Oh…, thank you mein liebe~”
The engineer leaned in and smooched his lover who turned away for another cough.
“Oh, sorry, hold on-”
Karl opened the window beside his seat which allowed a big cloud of smoke to escape outside.
“Ugh! Thank you...”
Ethan replied, a little cough interrupting him, his voice a little hoarse from the foul air he just breathed.
“Sorry…”
“I know, it's okay. At least you weren't smoking cigars.”
“Haha! Yeah..”
They drove back home with their new purchase, the ex-lord followed him with so much dread.
“Uhhhhhh! I changed my mind, I think I hate going outside even with you…!”
He dropped dead on the front of the couch, his forearms crossed and placed on the cushion, creating a dent where his head rested whereas his knees pressed against the living room’s carpet holding his lower half from melting on the floor.
“AAAAGHH! WHY DOES GOD HATE ME SO MUCH?!...Ethannnn…help!”
The blonde man snapped from his thoughts, looking past his lover's gorgeous back view, it's not something he gets the chance to see everyday after all.
He approached him, gently kneeling down at his side.
“Maybe we should try the heating pad?”
“Mmmm…!”
It is all Karl could say in return, too consumed by his pain at the moment.”
“Okay, just a second!”
Ethan picks up the ‘blanket’, dusts it a bit then gently gestures for his husband to lay on the couch.
“Ethannn! I can't move!”
Winters stops for a moment,
“Can you crawl? I can help you position better.”
The engineer crawled on the couch with a grunt, his not-so-lover-now helping him adjust his position by lifting his legs and pulling him as gently as he could to lay on his back.
“Are you okay?”
The blonde asked after placing the heating pad on his partner’s abdomen.
“No...what if I bleed on the couch?”
“Oh. Then I'll clean it. You just lay here, warm up and be comfy, okay?”
A sparkle lit Karl's eyes as he smiled stupidly at this average looking moldy man, feeling so loved all of a sudden.
“Mmm..thank you. I really love you.”
Ethan chuckled,
“I love you too..”
He kneeled on both of his legs and kissed his lover's squishy tummy, making him laugh which he regretted instantly, feeling blood gushing out.
Oh shit..! I really hope I didn't bleed!
His moldy man stood up and gave him a kiss on his bearded face.
Karl smiled softly, not wanting their couch to turn red.
Ethan proceeded to go to the kitchen, earning a loud dramatic response from his Karl.
“Noooooo! Ethannnn I want more kisssesss!”
He cried out loud, extending his arm to its limits as if his husband was abandoning him.
“Hahaha! Sorry love, I have to heat up dinner, you should eat something.”
“Mmm…! Goddamn tasty Sarmale!”
He muttered dramatically, hitting the back of the sofa with his fist that sluggishly dragged down then increased the temperature of the pad.
“Here you go.
Also, here's some ibuprofen if it's carving your insides.”
“Ethan! I missed you so much, die sonne von mien welt! Please cuddle with me!”
The shorter man chuckled,
“Okay but I'll not lay on you, you lay on me.”
“Wha- no! I'll crush you!”
“No? I'm a tough mushroom!”
The heavier man chuckled, agreeing in the end.
He rolled to the side, his elbow taking his weight, then he sat up and with a push from his calves sat on the side so his husband has enough space to lay down.
Ethan adjusted himself on their couch then opened his arms.
“Alright, come here.”
Karl went down on him like a log, he literally heard Ethan's lungs blow off all the air in them before he broke in laughter.
“Are you okay?..”
“Yeahh, and comfy too.”
“You're so weird.”
The blonde laughed again, his cheeks turning red which the ex-lord didn't know if it was due to the partial suffocation or embarrassment.
“You're still weird but I can't release you now.”
“Hahaha! I'm an anxious guy! You're practically a weighted blanket.”
Karl stared at him confused,
“Are they making blankets for everything now?”
The blonde man laughed harder this time.
Their evening was nice, Karl ended up napping on the couch after eating his yummy dinner while Ethan sat beside him, putting his lover's long legs on his lap as he watched TV.
The couch did indeed stain which took the blonde a long time to clean off but it was alright, at least Heisenberg learnt that he should change every 2 hours on a heavy day.
It was hell every month for the engineer but at least he has a nice warm blanket, delicious food and a cute lovely fungi that will love him forever.