Chapter Text
in the beginning
There was a man named Frank Ocean that shook his butt with motion.
Now you see, Frank Ocean was no ordinary person. He would fart on babies and make sure they cried. Then he would poop in their eye sockets.
Then one day, one of the babies Frank Ocean farted on grew up into a big strong boy.
And when he grew up (3 years old), he finally stood up for himself and the other babies that were farted on. He said in a heroic and manly voice, “I shall not stand beneath you no longer, Frank Ocean.”
Frank Ocean stared down at the little, tiny toddler. He sighed and dropped kicked him across the room. The sound of the kid hitting the wall was pretty satisfying to Frank, because that kid was his son. That was an accident.
The child, Billy-bob Frank jr., sat there, tears welling in his eyes as he stared at his father, the man who was supposed to love and protect him, now a villain, his heart shattered at the sight of his father smirking. Billy Bob took a stand, knowing he could no longer stand in his father's shadow any more, even though every bone in his body aches but he knew what he had to do.
“I know what I have to do now, father.” He said in a deep voice. Frank that was just then walking out the door, looked back with his eyes dark and soulless. He looked at his son and said, “imma beat you since you know you’re my kid now.”
Billy Bob looked into his father's soulless eyes with burning fury in his own, then in the blink of an eye a shoe came flying past them and hit Frank so hard he fell to the ground, then a loud voice rang out “YOU DARE HURT MY GRANSON YOU STINKY POO POO HEAD” and standing at the door was grandpa, with a wooden spoon and belt ( like my mama uses)
Frank, fast but cautiously, turns around to see who was at the door. It was…SIR MIX-A-LOT. He comes into the room and starts singing baby got back while he takes his grandson to safety. Then as he drags Billy Bob and goes out the door, he farts in the room and leaves a god awful green cloud of smoke for Frank to have to smell and suffer in as he locks him in the room.
Frank, smelling the fart, tries to cover his nose, but it was too late. The fart enters his lungs and fills them up, his butt that moves with motion stops as he drops to the ground, then i he gasps out “I should've loved my one and only son!”
He starts to pray to a false god, the bbl god. Even he thinks that Frank was wrong to do that. So with that, he needed a punishment and that was that he got his bbl taken back. He could no longer shake that butt with motion. It was flat.
“NO, NO, NOOOOO, NOT MY BBL, OH PLEASE BBL GOD BRING IT BACK, I NEED IT TO SHOW THE GIRLS AT THE ZOO, ILL PROMISE TO STOP FARTING IN BABIES FACES!!!!!” he cried to the bbl god. The bbl god heard the cries of frank ocean and dismissed him. For he was a pick me and the bbl god did not associate with picking me.
Just then, Frank Ocean lets out one last massive fart. The fart rumbles throughout the building and the infrastructure starts crumbling. The building collapses on Frank, trapping him under debris.
He slowly dies under the debris. As he does, he cries out to the bbl god, “Why have you punished me!? For all i have done is just thinking about beating my son.“
The bbl god stares down at his dying form and bitterly laughs. “Oh, how I am not punishing you for that, I am punishing you because you read the Hunger Games and you only cared about the love triangle!” The bbl god turns away. “Depart from me, for I have never known you.” Frank Ocean’s soul starts ascending, but just then, a claw from the underworld starts dragging him down. He screams and claws at the broken concrete but in the end gets dragged down to the underworld. His last words were, “BABYBUGBUG, SAVE ME!”
The bbl god laughs at frank for babybugbug was never real and that only fools believed in him. Then he blesses billy bob the most glories bbl in his life, it was so big and round and shiny that even the bbl god had to stare
Frank Ocean crashes down into a pool of lava and screams from the burning sensation on his flat ahh butt. He climbs out of the lava and checks his surroundings. Lava, molten rock, the works. Frank Ocean starts breakdancing to try and redeem himself.
The bbl god seeing this taps his chin, he thinks the breakdancing is kinda cool but not good enough so he ignores frank ocean.
Frank Ocean calls out to him, “Please sir! Forgive me and cast me out of the underworld!” Frank trips while breakdancing and falls into a pool of lava and starts screaming in agony. Just then, the little fat devil, AdultInsectInsect, grabs Ocean and yanks him out of the lava. Then he sits on Ocean and has explosive diarrhea.
Frank ocean yells in agony as the diarrhea burns his eyes, “please sir have pity on me and stop farting”
AdultInsectInsect giggles and continues pooping all over his face. “Thou like poop!” He says as he claps his hands together happily. “Come and poop on Frank Ocean my minions!” Mini AdultInsectInsects rush out from the pool of lava and start peeing on Frank.
The false BBl god then saw all the torture he had done to Frank. He started staring at the poop covered Frank Ocean, as he did, he heard something. Something similar to a song…
“I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CAN NOT LIE, YOU OTHER BROTHERS CAN'T DENY”
Sir Mix A Lot descends from the heavens above and starts sliming out all of the mini AdultInsectInsects. He then kicks Frank Ocean into a lava pond and floats back up to the heavens.
Then the bbl god shakes his huge butt with Sir-mix-a-lot and Billy Bob and they have a feast of hangers and monsters that live under the bed. As they ate the bbl god got way to into it and stated shaking his butt so hard he caused St. Helens to erupt and caused the lowly mortals to burn. But he didnt care and just kept shaking his butt, then everything in the bible stated happening and thats how the world ended.