Chapter Text
“Commander ?” Leliana’s scout seemed sincerly worried “Ser? Are you alright?”
“Yes. You can go.” Cullen growled, the sound deep in his throat “I’ll contact the Spymaster when… when I’ll finish here, thanks.”. The scout nodded, leaving his office as fast as he could. Cullen let himself falling in his chair, breathing heavily. His hands were shaking horribly and the words written on the report danced before his eyes “High Dragon… Inquisitor… wounded, but alive… victory…”
High Dragon
Wounded
The Inquisitor had fought against a fucking dragon, he roared in his mind, crampling the paper in his hand. He forced himself to read again everything, admitting at least with himself that he was searching for more informations about the Inquisitor - her - health.
“Alive” was good, but not good enough, Maker! Dorian was there, but did they have proper healers too? How badly was she hurt?
The Commander started to walk back and forth, he couldn’t stay sat, thinking that Demetra had put her life in danger. More than usual. They had talked about the possibility to fight against a dragon, during a meeting in the War Room, and she had promised to be cautious. And she had repeated her promises during one of their chess match, laughing gently that he was worrying too much. She had promised. And she had broken that promise.
And now she was wounded.
When Demetra arrived in Skyhold, there was a quite a crowd to cheer at her. Common people, some Templars, a lot of nobles and also a couple of Mages. Everyone seemed eager to congratulate with her, speak with her, shake her hand. When Josephine finally reached the Inquisitor in the middle of that turmoil, Demetra was quite relieved to be dragged away, leaving the glory to Bull, Dorian and Sera.
“Inquisitor, it’s good to see you here again and… in one piece.” Josephine smiled “We received news you were wounded.”. Demetra sighed, walking slowly near her friend. In one piece, yes, but not completely healed, she admitted with herself “We were all wounded, frankly. But it wasn’t so bad, after all. Dorian did a great job and Bull put us in one piece again, when the magic couldn’t work fast enough,”.
For a moment, while they were entering in the Main Hall, the Ambassador seemed hesitant “Ah, well, here the… here we were all worried, my lady.”
“I’m alright, Josephine, as you can see. There’s no need to worry. By the way… where is the Commander? I expected to find him in the courtyard. And Leliana too.” she added quickly. The Ambassador face didn’t change from her usual serene expression “Commander Cullen and Leliana had some matters to discuss. They’re waiting for us in the War Room.”.
Demetra walked a little faster, despite her body reminded her that it would have been necessary more time to recover fully.
“Ah, Inquisitor,” Leliana bowed slightly, when the two woman entered in the giant room “forgive us for not being with the others to greet you, at your arrival. We had… some matters to discuss.” she added, glancing at Cullen.
Demetra smiled “Don’t worry, Leliana, I had plenty of nice words and applauses. I suspect half of the nobility here was waiting more eagerly for the dragon that for me!”. The Inquisitor smiled at the Commander, expecting their usual shared smirk about strange customs and silliness. But this time, his face stayed imperturbable, his posture stiff, and his hand firmly grasped on the pomel of his sword. And his eyes were fixed on her, but not on her face. Demetra recognised that glare. He was searching for wounds. She made a point to stay as straight as always, ignoring the pain in her bones and on her back. Where the dragon had scartched her, opening without effort her armor. The one that now was just a crumpled heap of metal.
Interrupting that moment of silence - and Demetra knew everybody had felt the tension- Josephine clapped her hands “Anyway, Inquisitor, we’ve to think what to do with the dragon.”
“I think Bull would like having the head hanged somewhere in the tavern.” Demetra laughed. Leliana displayed some letters from a group of scholars who would be happy to study the corpse. Dracology seemed to be the latest trend in Orlais, the Spymaster smirked, and more informations about these beasts would be very useful and very well paid. Despite agreeing with Leliana, Demetra knew that the position of the Inquisition needed more supporters, especially now that they were going to contact the Gray Wardens. Having a stable situation with the nobility was the most important thing right now, for being able to deal with whatever problem the Wardens could have without worrying that nobles decided to quit donations and supplies.
“A party seems a good idea.” she concluded at the end of her explanation “And, after, we could sell some parts of the dragon. Leliana, I’m sure you can find someone who is interested.”
“As you wish, Inquisitor.” Leliana nodded. During the short break, Demetra couldn’t avoid to glance at Cullen. He didn’t look at her for the entire time of the conversation, just staring at the markers on the table, jaw clenched. Josephine interrupted her a moment before she was going to ask him what was the problem “Speaking about the party, is there something you would like particularly, Inquisitor?”
“Maker, yes!” Demetra beamed “Make it big! I was talking with the others, and after the giant mass this hunt was, we would really enjoy a giant celebration!”
“Plus” the Ambassador nodded “the party will be a great occasion to show once more to everyone what the Inquisition can do. Now, if you would be so kind to…”
“So, is it for having a huge, fancy party that you threw yourself in the danger?”. Cullen voice was cold and tight, cutting the space between them and making the Inquisitor flinch.
“I beg your pardon, Commander?”
“You did hear me, Inquisitor. You engaged a High Dragon! You put yourself in a terrible danger after you promised, in this very room, to be careful!”.
His voice wasn’t so controlled and Demetra frowned, hearing his tone of voice. She had never seen Cullen less than polite, always kind and thoughtful with her.
Cullen shook his head, in clearly disbelief “You knew there was the possibility to find it, and you chose a small party anyway. Even worse, you fought with just three of your companions!”
“The dragon attacked us, Commander.” she pointed out “We were far away from the camp and…”
He clenched his fists “You shouldn’t have travelled with just your Inner Circle, first of all. That had been a reckless decision, in such a danger territory! You could have been killed! You could have killed your entire party!”
“Do you think I don’t know this, Commander? Or that I don’t remind my own promises?” she inquired, her own voice becoming higher, despite her efforts “But, on the battlefield, sometimes plans have to be changed . What is different from usual? What is different from going out there closing damned Rifts, between demons and Maker knows what horrors?”
“Nobody can control that, but the Dragon… you could have waited for reinforcements! You could have run away! Dem… Inquisitor, you could have done thousands more logical things than fighting against a legendary beast, for Maker’s sake!” he ended, roaring.
She barked at him “Well, your legendary beast is dead and I’m still alive!”
“But you’re wounded, don’t think I can’t recognize a posture of someone who is in pain!”
“Cullen.” Leliana’s voice was as cold and controlled as her gaze. That gaze made him stop and he seemed to flinch, realizing what and how he spoke to the Inquisitor.
Demetra bit her lip, her cheeks warmer than usual. Suddenly, it was too much. She was tired, and aching, and she knew he was right about the danger. She had had nightmares about that dragon, she had seen the bruise and the cuts on the skin of her companions.
“It was the right thing to do.” she said, her voice steadfast yes, but not as loud as before “As the Inquisitor, I must protect people and waiting or running away it’d have meant having innocents killed. I’m sorry if this upset your very tactical mind, Commander. The next time you’re going to speak with me, I expect you to apologize.”. Cullen wet his lips, but she didn’t let him reply “Now, if you all want to excuse me, I need a bath and some rest. Josephine,” she said, shaking from her astonished silence a very horrified Ambassador “we’re going to discuss tomorrow the details about the party.”.
Without a second glance, Demetra marched out of the War Room. It was just when she was safe behind the first door for her quarters that she realized her fists were shaking.
“Damn it.” she muttered between her gritted teeth.
“Damn it.” she repeated, discaring quickly her clothes on the floor.
“Damn it.” she said, pressing her hands on her eyes, refusing to cry.
She hadn’t expected such a fight and for sure not with Cullen. She hated arguing in general and, Maker, she had hated arguing with him.
They had had different opinions in the past and they had defended them passionately, sure, but never like that. She had never felt at the same time the wish to cry and punch someone straight in the face.
He was wrong, she whispered, so fucking wrong, and still she was feeling guilty. She had had the same thoughts, during their travel back in Skyhold, when the adrenaline had finally let her brain, and she had contemplated the corpse of the dragon. Huge and scary even in death. Despite Bull’s joy, she wasn’t eager to repeat the experience anytime soon. Dragons where legends for a very good reason, and she had had all the intentions to go and pray in the chapel, thanking Andraste for Her help.
A couple of maidens arrived interurpting her thoughts. They bowed politely, carrying hot water and dried flowers for her bathtub - thanks to Josie, of course - but she didn’t enjoy her bath as much as she thought.
Neither she was particulalry hungry, but another servant arrived with a tray full of food - Josie again, or perhaps Cassandra, who knew - and she tried to eat something. Starving and brooding wouldn’t help her to deal with the fact that Cullen had hurt her feelings.
She groaned quietly, finally admitting it openly.
As her Commander and her friend, he should have showed more trust in her decisions.
Demetra grimaced, thinking she wasn’t satisfy to have just his friendship, but that seemed to be her destiny, loving a man who saw her just as her leader.
And an incompetent one, on top.
Someone knocked softly at her door and she huffed.
She had thought that Josephine would have everyone at bey, letting her some time for herself. But, maybe… a hope rose in her heart. Maybe it was… maybe he wanted to apologize…maybe…
“Please, tell me you’re still alive.”.
Her shoulders slumped, hearing Dorian’s voice. The mage arched an eyebrow, seeing her face “Well, what’s that? Here I am, with potions for you and a great amount of worrying, and you’re looking at me as if I was the wrong person!”. She shook her head, smiling despite herself “Oh, quit to be such a drama queen!”.
Dorian laughed “Hush, turn and let me inspect you back.”. Demetra knew she was lucky the worse were the four skratches on her back. It could have been worse.
“Cullen was angry with me.”.
The words slipped quietly from her lips. Dorian’s hand stopped to apply the salve just for a moment, before continuing its job “Because we engaged a dragon without a proper battalion?”
“Yes. We had… an argument. A bad one. And… Dorian, do you think I decided badly, choosing to stay and fight? Be sincere”. Dorian’s voice was quiet, while he was inspecting her back “You had to decide quickly. I admit that personally I wouldn’t dislike more help, but… no, you did what was right.”
“He shouted at me. And… I shouted back at him.”
She can feel the light smirk in his voice “Do you want to apologize and you need a suggestion about how to do it properly? Because I’d…”
“No!” she interrupted him “Maybe? I don’t know. I hate arguing but he was rude and wrong and irrational.”
“And why do you think he acted in that way?” Dorian sighed. Demetra frowned “I know he is my friend, and I know he was worried. But this doesn’t justify his manners.”.
Dorian gave her a curious look, almost trying to read something on her face, but after a moment he smirked “Well, I suggest you and your friend talk as soon as possible. The Inquisition cannot survive having its lovely Inquisitor and its fierce Commander angry with each other for a very long time.”.
Demetra wasn’t sure she liked how Dorian had said “friend”, but she tossed her hair back “Well, I won’t do the first move, for sure.”.
If Cul…the Commander wanted to adjust the things between them, he knew where she was.