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“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying this isn’t gonna work out, Pompom.
Not like this.”
“We’ve been trying, haven’t we?
We just need some time.
Just give me time and we can- I can make it work.”
“I’m sorry Pom, I just-”
-
“Pomni, you’re on in three.”
Pomni startled from her spacing out, stopping the fingers fiddling with a charm tied around her neck. She turned towards and nodded at her manager. A quiet “okay” slipped past her lips.
Ragatha frowned at the obvious distracted state of the singer.
“Do you need more time? I can ask Zooble to keep playing the AVP.”
The short-haired musician shook her head and gave Ragatha a quick smile and glanced her way for a split second, making sure to avoid eye-contact.
“Thanks, Raggy, but it’s okay.” She readjusted her hold on the instrument she held. The guitar looked huge given her small frame.
Ragatha pursed her lips and resisted the urge to push the girl any longer. If Pomni wanted to push through with performing, then the best she could do to support her was to let her do what she wanted to.
“Alright. Good luck out there, babe.” Ragatha relented, and slipped away.
Pomni nodded in thanks even if the redhead didn’t see, not bothering to verbally express it.
Looking at her phone face-down, she felt a lump form in her throat. She coughed it out and decided to make her way to the right entrypoint of the stage.
There, the rest of her band were also situated, waiting for Ragatha to cue them on to the stage. Pomni took this opportunity to take a peak at the crowd, holding onto a tiny hope in her heart that a face she desperately wanted to be there would somehow manifest, even if the probability was very, very low.
When Ragatha eventually cued them on stage, Pomni fixed her in-ear in place, letting her bandmates go ahead of her. She removed the strap of her guitar, in preparation to hand it off half-way through her performance.
Finally, she took a deep breath to steel herself, and stepped on stage.
The lights came on when she did, Pomni made sure to throw a small smile and wave to a crowd she couldn’t even see the outline of.
She positioned herself behind a microphone and looked to her bandmates, checking to see if they were ready. She turned back to the crowd and chose to speak into the microphone.
“Hi.”
Hoots and hollers greeted her, causing her to giggle.
“Uh… I know it’s been a while since I took a break. Six months, yeah… yeah, but I’m finally here again. Thank you all so much for waiting for me.”
Screams erupted from all around her.
The singer smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She looked down, afraid if she continued looking forward, everyone in the audience would notice her emotional state.
“So… to start off, I’d like to let you guys hear a song I poured my heart into. This is the first time I’m performing it, so… ”
She shook her head. “Yeah, I hope y’all like it.”
Her fingers started plucking an intro sequence ingrained into her very being. She closed her eyes as the first lyrics come through.
how could I forget your pretty face?
when you go to places, do you think of me?
please think of me
-
“So you’re going on tour, huh?”
Pomni nodded, ecstatic. She was in an unorthodox position on the couch, her back on the seat, head hanging off of the edge, her legs hooked over the backing of the couch, and a guitar in hand. She was mindlessly strumming a tune.
“When I do get to all the different places, I’m gonna scope it out to see if it’s a place we can travel to in the future.”
Jax chuckled and poked at the side, causing her to curl up in protest.
“Hey!”
A little poking contest between them commenced until they eventually tired. Pomni had her head on his shoulder now, an arm hooked around his and their fingers intertwined.
“You should come see one of my shows.”
The bunny shrugged. “Nah. Not my crowd. Plus, don’t you have a thing with PR?”
Pomni tilted her head. “What do you mean?”
“Like, if the public sees you and me together and know you have a boyfriend, won’t your little fans freak out on you and leave you?”
The singer rolled her eyes. “It isn’t really their business.”
She then moved to situate herself on his lap, facing him and giving him a tender kiss. “And I’d love the world to know I have such a handsome boyfriend.”
Their foreheads touch, relishing in the warmth of one another.
“You’re my favorite person, you know that right?”
“You ought to tell me that more often, bunny.”
“Heh, alright.”
-
a year has passed and i’ve moved on
i admit you won, now please come back to me
won’t you come back to me?
Pomni’s voice didn’t crack a lot, but with the lump in her throat, she decided to just use it to her advantage, making it sound slightly grunge-like.
people come and go, sometimes
call me your favorite one last time
i'll never get to find no one like you
you were all i wanted, you were all i need
us is all I'll be
-
“I thought you didn’t care if people saw us together in public? Why are you so pressed about people seeing us kiss?”
“I really couldn’t care less who sees us, Jax. I just wished you did it during a more appropriate time. We were at my former bandmate’s dad’s memorial.”
“Yeah, a semi-private setting. You’re blaming me for the paparazzi somehow getting into the venue and snapping a picture of us being a normal couple.”
“Jax! You know it’s not about that.”
“Is it not? Respectfully, I ask you Pom, why is it that every time I ask us to hang outside, you refuse?”
Pomni’s face fell on his accusation.
“J-jax, it’s just, you know I’m on a tight schedule-”
The rabbit scoffed. “And you somehow have time to hang out with your little manager and get your hair and nails done.”
Pomni raised her voice.
“We do that for interviews, Jax! I need it because I need to look good on camera. I WANT to look good on camera.”
“Oh, and hanging out with me isn’t as important?”
“Jax…”
Jax scoffed again. “You told me you didn’t care.”
“I DO, OKAY?”
Jax stared at her in disbelief.
“I care because I’m scared that when you finally find out what it’s like to be with me in public, you’ll hate it. People are always breathing down my back, waiting to pounce on me if I do something wrong.”
Pomni looked at him with pleading eyes. When she saw his face, her heart ached. He looked so hurt. “I’m okay with it, and I’ve accepted that not everyone will like what I put out or do, but I don’t want you going through that. It doesn’t feel good, Jax.”
He didn’t respond. Instead, he walked towards her in silence and bent down in front of her. Pomni closed her eyes, ready for words that would sting.
Instead, she felt the soft fur of his hand as he caressed her cheek.
“You think too little of me, Pom. You know how I grew up. I got thick skin.”
Both of his hands held her now. “I knew what I signed up for the moment I started dating you.”
He pulled her into an embrace and stroked the back of her head. “I promise you. I’ll never want to leave you unless you want me to.”
-
people come and go, sometimes
call me your favorite one last time
A bandmate came over to Pomni’s side as she stopped playing. Her shaky hands let go of her guitar and slowly make their way to grip around the microphone. She tightened her hold on the device, attempting to ground herself.
so i have swallowed all my pride
accepted the end of you and i
but what if i miss you for the rest of my life?
All the lights and sounds cut out. Screams erupt in anticipation.
The lump in Pomni’s throat is bigger than ever. A fresh tear escapes and its track immediately feels cool against the warmth of her cheek.
where do i go from here?
She takes the microphone off its stand as she starts to belt.
-
I HAVE BUILT A HOUSE WHERE I WAIT FOR YOUR RETURN
“Just give me time and we can- I can make it work.”
Pomni thought she must’ve looked so stupid chasing him out in the cold and pouring rain. All her attempts to reach out to hold out his arm so they could look each other in the eye.
“I’m sorry Pom, I just- You promised we could hang out today!”
“And we can, Jax,” she pleaded. “I just, I’ve been so busy. I’ve had this in my calendar, I swear.”
“Yeah, no thanks to me putting it in.” He finally met her gaze.
I ONLY WANT YOU TO BE MINE AND NOT A LESSON LEARNED
Pomni stopped reaching to grab ahold of him upon seeing his expression.
“You want time? I’ve been giving you time. And it. Isn’t. Working.”
“Jax, I-”
“You what?” Jax raised his voice. His voice cracked when he did.
“I’m sorry.” Pomni’s small was so small compared to how loud she could sing to a group of people.
AND I WILL WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT UNTIL THIS CITY BURNS
“Yeah,” the rabbit chuckled sarcastically. “Me too.”
He was crying now.“I didn’t even say I wanted us to go ‘on a date’ because I know you’ll fuss about it and make sure we go eat somewhere fancy and extra ‘cuz that’s what you think a date is. I don’t really have a problem with it, but we barely even talk when we do go on a date like that. I just wanted us to hang out. To talk. To be in each other’s presence.”
Pomni couldn’t even defend herself. What was there to defend?
“Hah, I can’t even get a phone call. You know I finally bought a ticket to go see your show six months from now? I hate seeing bands live because it isn’t exactly my thing, but I wanted to see you.”
I WILL WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT AND LIVE ON WHAT WE WERE
“I’m sorry.” Was all Pomni could say. She was crying, too.
“Is that all you can say?”
It was.
It was all blur when he pulled her back into her house and forced her into the bathroom. He drew a bath for her.
Before he left the bathroom, Jax gave her a pained kiss on the forehead.
He looked so conflicted, but turned away from her before his mind could change.
-
Pomni couldn’t stop the sob that escaped her. She was on her knees now, breathing heavily as tears flowed freely down her face.
Her bandmates exchanged concerned glances but waited for her signal.
Eventually, Pomni made a move and fully lied down on the stage.
how could I forget your pretty face?
She looked towards the crowd, yearning to see a single face in the sea of barely distinguishable silhouettes.
when you go to places, do you think of me?
please think of me
-