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It’s been a hectic few weeks for Steve. Times are hard for everyone during the war. And a skinny guy like him, weighed down by a colorful variety of diseases and handicaps, isn’t the kind of person people are dying to hire anyway. Whether he wants to or not, most of the time they have to rely on Bucky to cover their rent and most of the costs for food and other necessities. Some months, Steve even has to ask him for money to cover his medical needs.
All the more reason for him to go the extra length this time.
For a few weeks now, Steve has waited for Bucky to go to work every morning and then snuck out after him. He’s done jobs he knows he wouldn’t be able to keep up for long but he’s been doing it long enough to make just the amount he’d need to plan this and get everything he needs.
It’s Bucky’s birthday today, but times are hard and Steve knows he will be working late again. He’s working two jobs at the moment. One in the shoe department at a store in Manhattan, which is pretty well paid, all things considered. But he also has to cover the travel costs every day and what’s left in the end just isn’t enough. Not with Steve’s inconsistent employment and the high medical costs which Bucky insists on helping with, not like there was much of an alternative anyway. So he got a second job that has him washing dishes at a dirty little place in Brooklyn four nights a week. The pay isn’t that great and the owner is a scumbag but other options aren’t exactly lining up for them both.
All of this leaves Steve with guilt looming over his head like a dark rain cloud and he wants to do something nice for Bucky. Something he knows won’t be proper payback but at least a little something special. A way to say thank you with more than the words Steve repeats like a mantra every morning when they say goodbye and every night when they tumble into bed, too tired to do much more than hold each other and share goodnight kisses.
Steve knows the hard work doesn’t bother Bucky, not as much as having to be so secretive about how they feel for each other. Steve himself is so unbelievably grateful to even have Bucky’s attention. He’s aware that a guy like his best guy showing him any interest at all is close to a miracle, no matter how often Bucky disagrees with this fact. Even though they can’t even hug each other or hold hands outside of their small apartment, Steve wouldn’t dream of expecting more. Bucky, however, feels different about it. He wouldn’t drag him into any trouble by doing anything to draw attention to them. But he’ll frequently rant and rave about how unfair it is. They’re not harming anyone. They didn’t choose this. How could it be so wrong to fall in love with someone? Steve can’t disagree with either of this, but he chooses not to waste any time or effort on things he can’t change.
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t notice when his lover watches other couples longingly. Occasionally, Steve catches him looking at some guy who has his hand on the small of a pretty dame’s back. Or at a couple who are sharing adoring glances over a dinner table. He wants this, they both do. And yet, they can’t even go out on a date together. Not only because they wouldn’t be able to afford much, anyway. Also because they’d have to keep up the pretense of two guys being out to share a drink and find pretty dames to woo. No touches, no loving gazes, no gentle words exchanged. Neither of them would enjoy this much.
But tonight Steve wants to give Bucky a little piece of that.
By the time he gets home from buying everything he needs, it’s already late and he knows he has to hurry a bit. He spends a good half an hour rearranging their small space to leave a free open area in the center of the room, pushing the table and chairs up against the wall and even managing to move the couch a couple feet. Then he spreads out a large piece of cloth that has to serve as a picnic blanket for now. In the center of that, he places the bottles of lemonade he bought for them and the box containing the chocolate cake. If their tiny apartment had a proper kitchen, Steve would have preferred baking something for Bucky, but as it is, he had to hand over the money for a cake from Barney’s Bakery down the street. It’s the most expensive thing Steve’s bought since living here with Bucky but he knows his best guy is worth every cent.
When he’s done, he’s sweaty and out of breath, so he rushes down the hall to clean up. He all but runs back afterwards because he’s only covered by a towel wrapped around his waist and while most men in this building walk around half undressed most of the time, Steve’s way too modest for that. However, the clothes he plans to wear for tonight aren’t anything he wants to be seen in by others, to avoid stupid questions.
Because when Steve gets back, he dresses himself in the expensively tailored tux he’s borrowed from Lockley’s for the night. There’s a matching one laid out for Bucky on their bed and together, they cost Steve more just for this one night than he’s paid for most of his clothes when he bought them. But again, Bucky’s worth it.
When the door finally unlocks half an hour later, Steve is perched on the edge of the bed, legs crossed and foot bobbing in the air. He’s nervous, suddenly not so sure if this is silly or not. He’s spent so much money on this. What if Bucky will be angry at him for not saving it for necessary things?
But when Bucky steps into the room and sees the little picnic Steve’s set up for them, plus a lit candle he’s found in a drawer somewhere, he just stands there with his mouth open and Steve all but melts. He’s never seen him speechless before and that alone is worth every second spent preparing this.
Smiling brightly, he pushes himself up from the bed and walks over to him, arms spread wide to gather him into a tight hug.
“Happy Birthday, Buck,” he says, words slightly muffled from where his face is pressed against Bucky’s collarbone. He inhales his scent and tightens his hold around his waist, thrilled when he finds his boyfriend trembling a little. Somehow, even after a day of hard work and hours spent in a dirty kitchen, Bucky always smells so good. Even the scent of his dried sweat has Steve’s senses singing with want and need and love. But he knows that Bucky will want to clean up first anyway. So he pulls away and gestures at the tux on the bed.
“If you want you can go clean up before putting this on. But I hope you’ll do me the honor of letting me treat you to a proper birthday date tonight.” The smile on his face is soft and gentle, even more so when Bucky finally finds his voice to speak.
“Holy cow, Steve!” This has Steve laughing as he pushes his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. “This is amazing. Thank you so much. When did you...I mean...how?”
“That’s for me to know and for you not to think about.” No way is Steve gonna discuss the details of his planning and have Bucky feel guilty as if there weren’t still a million and one favors being owed the other way round.
For once, Bucky doesn’t argue. He steps in to scoop Steve up and place a wet, smacking kiss on his cheek as he whirls him around and then carefully sets him down again. “Thank you,” he breathes into his ear and Steve can feel every single tiny hair on his body stand to attention. Normally, this is something Steve hates, Bucky demonstrating how much stronger and more able-bodied he is. But tonight he doesn’t care. Tonight his boyfriend is the giddiest guy he’s ever seen and Steve is enjoying this too much.
They share a kiss, a proper one, the kind they rarely take the time to enjoy. And then Bucky’s gone again, leaving Steve to prepare the other surprise. The only small luxury they own is a record player. Even that is usually more of a bother because it refuses to cooperate most of the time. But tonight it has mercy with Steve. After he puts the record on, a compilation of slow love songs he knows Bucky loves even though he’d never admit it, the needle sets down and the music starts playing without a second of struggle and just as Fred Astaire’s voice fills the small space, Bucky walks in again.
Steve doesn’t stare at the half naked man’s broad chest. Not this time. They’ve spent many a night romping around the sheets after neither of them could resist the temptation of seeing each other naked. Just knowing how little time they got to truly be together was usually enough for them to rush things and still try and get enough sleep, too. But tonight Steve wants to do his best guy proper justice. Bucky is more than a pretty face and an exceptionally attractive body and he deserves for Steve to show him that.
So he doesn’t watch while Bucky dresses in the clothes laid out for him. Not having been able to try it all on, Steve finds the pants an inch or two too long and the shirt maybe a tiny bit tight around the chest but this is still the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen. Especially when Bucky goes an extra length and, after winking at Steve, smooths his hair back with pomade.
Once done, he spreads his arms and twirls in front of Steve. “What do you say? Do I look like a proper date?”
Steve pretends to think about this, an act that takes a lot more effort than he lets on because all he wants to do is throw himself at Bucky’s strong chest and cling to him because yes, god yes, he looks like a proper anything and it’s a sight Steve will never forget.
“You look amazing, Buck,” he praises, nodding at him as he holds out his hand. “Will you let me have this dance?”
The response isn’t immediate. Steve doesn’t worry that Bucky will say no, of course not, but he still sways a little because he’s never seen him like this, his eyes so dark and yet shining so brightly, his nostrils a little flared as if he’s fighting tears. And Steve’s almost sure that’s what’s actually happening because he can also see him swallowing so hard his adam’s apple is bobbing up and down wildly.
When he finally responds, it isn’t verbal. Only a nod and then he reaches for Steve’s hand and pulls him toward him, his other hand resting on his skinny waist to hold him against his thick body as he starts moving them around in slow circles.
Steve isn’t as practiced as Bucky, has never gone on a proper date, certainly none that had him dancing with anyone. But Bucky knows this, of course, and immediately takes the lead, not commenting when it takes him a moment to find his wits again and move his hand to Bucky’s shoulder from where he’d left it suspended in midair. Steve may have planned this night but he hadn’t expected how much it would sway him off his feet to share this dance with Bucky.
The room is bathed in the soft warm glow from the candle and the small bedside lamp. The air is filled with the gentle tunes from the record. And all of that fades away when Steve looks up and gazes straight into Bucky’s eyes. Later there’ll be a delicious cake waiting to be shared by them. And then there’ll be quiet talking and giddy laughter and, even later, passionate lovemaking that’ll leave them breathless and drenched in sweat. But right now none of that matters. Because right now Steve Rogers is dancing with Bucky Barnes and that’s exactly where they want to be.