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According to Caesar and most people, Joseph was impulsive, reckless, a fool, and the reincarnation of trouble. Given that he was currently on a ship full of pirates he had to agree. However, he preferred the terms adventurous, strategic to the point of looking unstrategic, secret genius, and the reincarnation of handsomeness.
“Walk the plank,” said a man with a hook for a hand.
“Come on, that’s a little predictable, what if we spice it up with a ‘you should join our crew.’”
“Walk,” said the pirate.
Okay, so maybe he wasn’t a strategic genius in the moment. Truth be told he didn’t have a brilliant plan up his sleeve.
But in his defense, he woke up less than an hour ago tied to the ship’s mast. He managed to escape and was doing pretty decently till he decided to light a cannon. Then his terrible downfall came, a group of pirates jumped on him and managed to capture him. Gosh, he couldn’t even remember how he got onto the ship, that was what he got for thinking he could out drink a German.
“Do you know what you did last night?” asked a man with a long-feathered hat, probably the ship’s captain.
“Obviously not,” muttered Joseph standing on the plank, the rope digging into his wrist. He stared down into the sea, maybe there was a sharp rock he could cut the rope off.
“You challenged our entire crew, called us cowards, you beat up Jack, David, Russo, stole our gold,” the man continued but Joseph drowned him out. His head was still pounding from the beer; shitty beer, seriously why did he drink so much of it?
“Are you even listening!” shouted the captain.
“Of course, I am, your next line is going to be jump off this ship.”
“Jump off this ship,” but before he could finish his words Joseph was already in the water.
Water that was quick to dive into his nostrils, and the salt water stung his eyes, but Joseph was quick to find the rock he was looking for. But before he could move towards the rock, he saw a flash of blue. Without warning he felt a force of pressure against his waist, something was grabbing him and dragging him away.
Joseph struggled, he tried kicking the creature, but it only held on tighter. In less than a second, he was hurled onto the shore. Immediately, He began coughing up seawater. To his embarrassment it took him a solid minute of coughing before realizing he was on land.
“Oh, thank God.” He could kiss the shore.
“Hello.”
Joseph looked at his companion next to him. He must have died and went to heaven because the most beautiful woman he ever seen was sitting next to him, shirtless. Her eyes twinkled in the sun; her hair was pinned up by roses.
“Hey,” he said wondering if everything he experience was an elaborated dream. It would explain the tail. The cerulean blue tail that was gleaming in the sunshine. Honestly, everything about her seemed to glimmer, yeah, this was a dream.
“I’m Suzie,” she said with a smile.
“Joseph.” After a moment or two he asked, “Could you untied me?”
“Of course, how did you get tied originally?”
Joseph shrugged, “Pirates, what are you going to do.”
“You should ask the Siren Queen for help.”
“Right, I will do that next time.”
“She hates pirates,” said Suzie pulling off the rope, “Could I ask you a question?”
“Anything.”
“Do all humans have weird lips like yours?”
“Excuse me, my lips are perfectly normal.”
“I see, humans have weird lips.”
“Your lips are weird,” actually they’re perfect.
Suzie shook her head, throwing away the rope, it didn’t go that far. Joseph grabbed the rope and threw it far into the sea. They sat together in content silence, and something was clicking with Joseph that this wasn’t a dream. Somehow, he was calm about the fact that mermaids were real. Maybe he should have freaked out a little, but too many weird things have happened in his life.
“Why did you save me?”
“Oh, well letting people drown is rude,” there was a pink tint to her cheeks, and Joseph prayed that meant something.
“Well, you have better manners than me.”
“You would let people drown,” the mermaid asked alarmed.
“No, no, no, no,” Joseph rushed to correct her, “I just mean I wouldn’t have stayed so long on the shore.”
“Oh, I should teach you some manners.”
“Please do,” if Ceasar could see him now he would never be able to live it down.
Suzie moved closer to him pulling herself till she was hip to hip with him, “In the sea we show our gratitude through gifts, usually pretty fish or coral.”
“What do you like?”
“Oh,” she turned a deep shade of red, “It’s unusual for a mermaid.”
“I wouldn’t judge.”
“Promise?”
Joseph held up his pinkie, his heart skipped a beat when he felt her finger arounds his, “Promise.”
“I like roses.”
“I can tell.”
“Well,” her cheeks turned an even deeper shade of red, “They don’t really last in the sea like seashells or pearls.”
“But they last?” he asked carefully.
“I have to ask the Siren Queen to cast a spell on them, but they do last.”
“Then I will get you as many roses as you want, after all you did save my life.”
“Is that the only reason?”
“Maybe, you’ll never know,” he said with his trademark smile. She gave a smile of her own, and like everything about her it was charming beyond belief.