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“It’s time for you to get up, my prince.”
Jisoo turned over to his side as he suddenly inhaled deeply, a pseudo yawn to indicate that he was awake but did not yet want to leave the warmth of of the covers. As well-rested as he was, he would be more satisfied with sleeping for just a little longer, and so he found himself getting comfortable enough to start drifting away again.
“Jisoo,” a deep, breathy voice right above his ear tickled his consciousness back to the surface.
He swatted an arm in annoyance, but the perpetrator was already out of the way, and Jisoo ended up batting at nothing but unsatisfactory air. Unwillingly awake, Jisoo lazily got off from the bed, trying to rub the last of the dryness from his eyes. He yawned for real this time and then stood up, holding his arms up, waiting.
As soon as the silken sleepwear was swiftly removed from over his head, he held his arms to the side to await his button-up. When it didn’t come as quickly as he would have liked, opened his eyes to see a much too prideful servant just watching him, seemingly having no desire to do his duties.
“Seungcheol, it’s drafty in here. Could you please hurry up ?”
Seungcheol ignored his command, and instead sat on the prince’s bed.
“Seungcheol,” Jisoo said in a peeved tone. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Oh nothing. I’m just admiring the view.”
Jisoo scoffed.
“Oh shut up and dress me already before I kick your ass out and hire someone else.”
Seungcheol got up as he chuckled in amusement. “Language, my prince. And you know just as well as I do that you would never get rid of me.”
“Try me.”
“Tempting.”
Seungcheol finally grabbed the button-up Jisoo had been waiting for and slipped it on the prince, guiding the fabric around Jisoo’s body and aligning the sleeves to Jisoo’s arms. After gently adjusting the shirt, collar and everything, Seungcheol kneeled down and began slowly and carefully buttoning it from the bottom up. He kept his eyes on the buttons as he lifted himself up to button the rest, inching closer to the prince the higher he stood.
“Seungcheol…”
When Seungcheol was at the last button, he straightened himself up to see Jisoo looking straight at him. He could see himself in Jisoo’s reflective eyes, as they were closer than what would normally be deemed appropriate for a servant and his master. But the two had always been that way, playing a daring game of taboo, dancing around the the rules and each other, neither speaking up about how they felt about the other, and neither speaking up about how they should stop.
Seungcheol edged even closer, his eyes never leaving Jisoo’s.
“Seungcheol,” Jisoo repeated.
Seungcheol smiled, despite knowing that his name was being called as a warning, as their actions, well, his actions, weren’t at all proper. They weren’t proper, but Jisoo never stopped them until the last second, before it was too late. That was how their game worked. Seungcheol would test how far he could go, and Jisoo would allow him, only stopping him just before they were to partake in what would be a mistake. For Jisoo a wrongdoing, and for Seungcheol a crime. The potential consequences didn’t stop the two from ever coming close, though.
Seungcheol continued to dress the prince, taking a black ribbon to tie around his neck, and Jisoo wondered if Seungcheol would tighten the thing enough to choke him this time. He should. It would be less suffocating than being able to look at Seungcheol but not being able to have him. To have Seungcheol tail him wherever he went, so close and so loyal that it was unsettling when he wasn’t present, but to be unable to touch him without it being looked down upon. To know that his thoughts were wrong, but to know that he couldn’t stop thinking them.
The time they had in the mornings were the only moments where they could torment themselves and grace such acts that would be forbidden in the public. Those times were temporary, a small portion of the day where the two would free themselves from restraint, nearly all of them, but the connection they had between them would linger into the night and to the next day.
When Seungcheol neatly tied a bow with the ribbon, Jisoo placed his hands on Seungcheol’s. He let his hands rest there, and unable to think of any other excuse to do so, he said, “Tighter.”
As always, Seungcheol obeyed the command he disliked hearing every morning. This was his least favorite part of the day, but he knew it was coming. It always came, and with it meant the end of their little game and the beginning of an image they were forced to uphold. He undid the ribbon with a frown on his face.
“I don’t think it’s healthy for it to be tied so tightly.”
“Do not disobey me, Seungcheol.”
“Of course not.”
Seungcheol tightened the ribbon to the point where Jisoo’s skin was indented where it met the fabric, but Jisoo looked more than satisfied. Seungcheol stared at the ribbon, cursing it for being so tight when it was he who tightened it so. He could only take out his silent frustrations on the inanimate ribbon since he could not defy the prince.
“Are you going to continue?” asked Jisoo. “We have a busy day ahead of us.”
“Yes, my prince.”
Jisoo closed his eyes once more as Seungcheol put on his coat for him, being just as careful as he was with the dress shirt. Only Seungcheol did not bring his body close to Jisoo’s. He maintained a proper distance between them. He couldn’t close in when he was distressed about the prince’s discomfort from the tight ribbon.
What he didn’t know was that Jisoo was much more comfortable with having the restraint to keep him in check. The ribbon that choked him was a reminder to have self-control, that he must not even take a glance at Seungcheol with any sort of look that would make the public question the two. With something to hold him back, he was ready to start the day. And with the ribbon having such a hold on his neck, he could distract himself what truly gave him agony, Choi Seungcheol. The servant at his side whom he was dangerously tempted by, and the servant at his side whom he could not get rid of. It was toxic, the bond between them, but Jisoo couldn’t help but find pleasure in the pain.