Chapter Text
Taehyung remembers the day he heard his heart broke for the first time. He didn’t only hear it, he also saw it, like in one of the comics he likes to read. In the first illustration, there was his heart, in vivid red color with a yellow background, then, in the second illustration his heart was divided in the middle with a big “crack” written on it.
It was a warm and sunny day of Spring. Midterm exams were just finished and he was going to meet his best friend, Jimin, in their favorite coffee shop. They still hadn’t decided on what to do after, but he was sure that they would have went to his house (because it was the biggest and because his roommates where most of the time out) to play some videogames. Then Jimin would have been too sleepy to go back to his own house, so Taehyung would have given him one of his shirt to sleep in.
He was almost at the coffee shop, when he remembered that Jimin had told him that he was going to introduce someone to him. “I’m sure he you two will become best friends, just like us” was what Jimin said. Ah, if only Jimin knew that no one could be like him for Taehyung.
He entered the café and spotted the familiar blonde head and an unknown head beside him. He greeted both with a big smile and as the first impression he had about Jeongguk (the new boy), he could tell that they would be great friends, just like Jimin predicted.
“I have big news, Tae Tae” Jimin said after they ordered. Taehyung looked at him attentively, expecting something like “I passed literature!”, which honestly was a great news considered how much Jimin stressed over it.
“Jeonggukie and I are dating”. Crack. That was Taehyung heart, and, as to make it more believable, Jimin showed their connected hands to him.
Taehyung’s mood changed completely. How could this kid, who just popped out from nowhere, steal the spot he wanted in such short time? If before Taehyung thought that he was cute, now he was thinking that he was annoying. If before he thought he was funny, now he was just being irritating. Taehyung was jealous and he wasn’t hiding it.
“Taehyung-hyung, what is your major?” Jeongguk attempted a conversation.
“Music, saxophone” Taehyung answered sharply.
“Really? I would like to hear you sometimes, I’m sure you’re really good at it” praised the younger, hoping to obtain something more than cold answers.
“I told you what is my major, don’t assume things by yourself. I never told you I’m good at it”. Ok, maybe Taehyung shouldn’t have said that, because it was totally against him and totally untrue, he wasn’t the best, but he got a solo part for the concert at the end of the academic year. But that kid was making him going crazy and so he was saying lots of things he didn’t know where they were coming from.
“So you like Final Fantasy too? Are you excited about the one that is about to be released?” asked again Jeongguk changing the topic.
“No”. Of course Taehyung was excited, how could he not? But having something in common with this Jeon Jeongguk boy? No thanks.
After some minutes of awkward silence, in which Jimin shot deathful glance at Taehyung, Jeongguk said that he had to go, because he already had a previous appointment. They exited the café and Taehyung had to witness the scene of them kissing and being silly.
“Do you want to come to my apartment?” proposed Taehyung once Jeongguk was out of sight. “The hyungs are out, so we can play games and-“
“I thought you didn’t like playing games. At least that’s what you said in there” said Jimin with a stern face. Taehyung knew that Jimin wasn’t going to let him go for how he acted with Jeongguk. Even though he didn’t want to fight with his best friend, he didn’t like that Jimin wasn’t on his side. He was always on his side.
“I only said that I’m not excited about the new Final Fantasy” cleared Taehyung, not even feigning to be innocent. He was angry and Jimin had to know it.
“I know what you said. I remember every single word you said and I am so mad at you right now!” Jimin started shouting in the middle of the road. “You were so mean! Jeonggukie was trying his best to be liked by you, but you didn’t even give him a chance! And no, I don’t want to go to your place and don’t talk to me for some time!” with that Jimin started walking in the opposite direction of Taehyung house.
Taehyung stayed there with his mouth slightly open, because he wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t ready for his best friend to be so mad at him that he didn’t even wanted to talk to him anymore.
Two days passed and Taehyung put all his effort in avoiding Jimin, not because he didn’t want to talk to him and make-up, but because everytime he was with Jeongguk, doing all those things he wanted to do with Jimin and every time he saw them, he felt physical pain. Also, it wasn’t like Jimin tried to come to him either, as stubborn as he was.
Friday arrived and Taehyung was sure that everything would be solved. Since they were twelve every Friday they would have movie night, that consisted of two or three movies and countless of snacks. They didn’t miss one Friday, only for reason that didn’t depend on them, like family vacations and such, even though they tried their best to not miss one time.
Most of their fights would be resolved like this. On the couch, eating snacks and watching films, and Taehyung was sure that this time wasn’t different. He prepared everything thinking of what Jimin would like (he even brought those lime flavored chips, which he didn’t like, but Jimin was crazy about them) and waited for his best friend to ring the doorbell.
He waited, and waited, and when he was about to fall asleep finally the doorbell rang. He stood up and at the speed of light he went to open the door with his biggest smile, ready to apologize. When he opened the door, his smile fell. It wasn’t Jimin, but Hoseok, one of his roommates.
“Hey Tae, I’m lucky your still awake, I forgot my keys” said with an apologetic smile, while entering the apartment. “But don’t worry I won’t ruin your date with Jimin, I’ll just go in…my…room…why does it seem like your about to cry?” asked concerned Hoseok once he saw the younger face.
Taehyung looked at the clock on the wall, it was past midnight. There was no way Jimin would come and Taehyung started to feel tears roll down his eyes. “Jimin didn’t come!” sobbed Taehyung, trying his best to wipe away the tears, but every time he wiped them, new ones will come down. “I think I messed up really bad this time. What do I do, hyung?”.
“Calm down Tae, I’m sure there is a valid reason as to why he didn’t come” tried to comfort him Hoseok, hugging him and bringing him and to the couch. “Maybe he had to go back to his hometown, because his grandma fell hill. Maybe he just forgot his phone at home and couldn’t contact you. I’m sure that everything happened he’s not that mad to skip your night.”
“No, I’m sure he’s too angry and he doesn’t want to see me ever again.” Taehyung said once he calmed down a bit, only to start crying out loud again at his own words.
“Jimin is the nicest person in the world, and he loves you too much. I’m sure that whatever you didn’t he isn’t so mad at you”. Hoseok knew Jimin because they both liked to dance, so sometimes, they would meet and dance together, so he knew that he couldn’t be this angry with Taehyung because when he thought about one of them, the other was always along. They came together, like a 1+1. “Do you want to talk about what happened? Maybe I’m not good at solving problems like Seokjin hyung, but I can help too” said while petting Taehyung’s hair.
Taehyung leaned in the touch and waited took deep breaths to calm down again. “He introduced me his boyfriend and I was a total asshole to him” explained once the tears stopped.
“Jimin has a boyfriend? And it’s not you?” again Hoseok had a hard time imaging Jimin with someone else other than Taehyung. He saw Taehyung nodding sadly. “Who is it?” asked, asked more curious to know who won Jimin’s heart.
“Jeon Jeongguk” Taehyung whispered.
“Jeon Jeongguk, as the freshman?” No wonder Jimin fell for him, but he couldn’t understand how Jeon could fell for Jimin, he was known for being a total playboy, never sleeping with the same person twice.
“Yeah, tall and handsome and with this bad boy image…” mumbled Taehyung pitifully.
“You’re more handsome than him and I prefer more cute boys like you, than bad boys like him” replied Hoseok, looking at him.
“Thank you, hyung, but if you say something like that looking at me like this, it’s a little weird…” confessed Taehyung, turning his head and Hoseok could see a little of pink coloring the younger’s cheeks.
“Why would it be weird? It’s what I think, you are more handsome and cute” and if Jimin doesn’t see it, good for me.
“Thank you, hyung. I’ll clean tomorrow, now I’ll just go to sleep.” Said Taehyung yawning and going towards his room.
“Don’t worry” said Hoseok waving his hand. As soon as Taehyung closed the door he started to clean the room, smiling.
The next morning Taehyung woke up with swollen, red eyes and a headache, but he smelled bacon coming from the kitchen so he got up and went straight to the source of the smell.
In the kitchen there was Hoseok sitting at the table and Seokjin cooking breakfast. “Hyung! This smells delicious!” said without even greeting properly neither of them.
When Jimin and Taehyung got into the same university they were absolutely sure that they would share an apartment only the two of them, but then Taehyung brother, Namjoon, had to be in the way. Even though he wasn’t a student of the university his apartment was near the campus, and luckily (or unluckily) one of the roommates moved out, leaving a room free just for Taehyung.
At first he was annoyed with his parents, who obligated him to live there, and with that guy, who moved out, but now he liked his apartment and his roommates. His brother boyfriend, Seokjin, was a cook, working in one of the most exclusive restaurant of Seoul. Then there were Hoseok and Yoongi, who worked with his brother. Hoseok didn’t feel like a hyung at all and Taehyung loved to spend time with him when Jimin was too busy. On the other hands Yoongi was the scariest person he ever met, especially early in the morning, but nevertheless he cared a lot about his friends.
“Hoseok, told me that you are in a bad mood so I made you breakfast” said Seokjin placing a plate full of bacon and scrambled egg in front of Taehyung.
“Thanks hyung, you’re the best” said the younger with his mouth already full, making the older scold him.
“Hey! It was me who had the idea. I should be the best!” complained Hoseok, speaking while eating too, earning an exasperated sigh by the cook.
“Yeah, but it’s Jin hyung who made all of this, so he is the best.” Explained Taehyung drinking some orange juice. “You were…good. For suggesting it” acknowledged at the end and Hoseok huffed.
“I think you should talk to Jimin, anyway” said Seokjin, looking almost disgusted at how the breakfast he prepared with great effort was being devoured by the two boys like it was a little sheep in front of two big, starving wolves.
“I know that too, but…” Taehyung was at the same time ashamed and proud of how he acted these days, also if he would make-up with him, Jimin would surely ask Jeongguk to spend time with the two of them and his heart (or mind) wasn’t ready for it.
“No buts. You know how miserable you looked?” said Seokjin, pointing at him with his index and looking at him with that look your parents give you when you break something and you have to apologize.
“Just go and talk to him, if you don’t want to spend time with him, because there will be Jeon too, just don’t do that” said Hoseok serious. Taehyung looked at him confused. “I mean, you both are adult, you don’t have to be glued to each other like before and if you feel uncomfortable why should you do it”.
“I’m uncomfortable going to apologize, can I skip that too?” Taehyung asked hopeful.
“No, go and apologize” answered Seokjin, using the tone that didn’t admit any reply and that closed every discussion.
“Your breakfast was excellent as always, but now I’m in a bad mood again” said Taehyung getting up and going to the bathroom to get ready. Seokjin looked at Hoseok as to say “don’t put weird ideas on the kid” and Hoseok answered with a shrug of the shoulders.
When Taehyung arrived at his classroom thought about the idea of not going at all, thought about the idea of leaving Korea and live as a clandestine in some islands in the south of Asia. After all he didn’t need to go to extra math classes, he needed them even less knowing that Jimin had the same class as him.
“Move. You’re in the way”
That was Jimin’s voice. Not the usual gentle and kind one, but Taehyung would recognize it anyway. Instead of moving, he took one deep breath and turned to face Jimin.
“You didn’t come yesterday” said Taehyung pouting a little, he wanted to see how angry Jimin was.
“I didn’t feel like it”. Well at least he didn’t say that he was with his boyfriend.
“I’m sorry for what happened with Jeon Jeongguk, it was a bad day” said looking down. “I would like to have another chance, this time I will try to really get along with him”. Taehyung bit his lower lip, saying those words hurt him, he didn’t want to get along with Jeon Jeongguk. He wanted to scream at him and even going as far as to push him, for stealing his Jimin.
Jimin thought a little before speaking. “Alright. I’ll talk to Jeonggukie, and if he agrees we can meet again and start over” said, smiling at the end.
Seeing that smile made Taehyung hopeful. “So…you forgive me? Because if he doesn’t agree you should be mad at him for not trying, not at me, I came to apologize and everything. Am I forgiven?”.
“Yes you are” said Jimin putting an arm around Taehyung’s shoulder, which made Taehyung bend a little because Jimin was just too short for doing that. “I can’t stay mad at you for long. You’re lucky that your so cute”.
He didn’t like being called cute, he was a man tall almost 1,80 m, so he wasn’t cute. Jimin was the cute one, always happy and always saying the right thing to make everyone better. And always smiling, that beautiful smile that would turn his eyes in crescent moons and would made his cheeks so round that everyone wanted to pinch them, obtaining an even cuter pouting Jimin. Nevertheless, Taehyung blushed a little. Being called cute, well, being complimented in general, by Jimin would always make his heart skip a beat.
The day of the meeting came and it was on Monday. Taehyung entered the coffee shop tiredly, his day had been awful, not only because it was Monday. He just had his calculus lesson and the professor called him to solve a problem on the blackboard, a problem that he didn’t studied.
Taehyung entered the coffee shop and searched for his best friend and groaned as soon as he spotted him. He and Jeon Jeongguk were too much on PDA for his own good.
“Please, don’t be gross in public” he said trying to sound playful and not bitter at all.
“Sorry Tae” apologized Jimin, still holding Jeongguk’s hand, and that was already gross enough for him, but didn’t say anything. “So this is Jeongguk, my boyfriend” continued smiling brightly and indicating the boy next to him.
“Jiminie, he already knows that” chuckled lightly said boy and Taehyung thanked him in his mind, he didn’t want to be reminded that Jimin had a boyfriend. “I think that when Taehyung hyung said start over he didn’t mean so much over. Right?” asked, looking at Taehyung nervously.
“Obviously” nodded Taehyung and the younger boy let out a relieved sigh.
With a great effort from Taehyung’s side their second first encounter went smoothly and truth to be told Taehyung really liked the younger. He was funny and cute, but then, he had to lean a bit too much in Jimin personal space or he would joke lovingly with him or he would grab Jimi tiny hands in his and Taehyung felt the urge to kill him.
When he got home he found Hoseok on the couch playing some videogames. He sat beside him silently and looked at Hoseok playing. He leaned a bit toward him and sighed, Hoseok smelled like cotton flower, he smelled like Jimin and Taehyung felt like crying. Instead he placed one of his hand on the controller and pulled it away from the older.
Hoseok looked at him and opened his mouth to complain, but as soon as he turned his head he saw how close Taehyung was and how he was looking at his lips. Before he could do anything he felt Taehyung kissing him. He immediately kissed back because Taehyung tasted so sweet and his lips were soft and the kiss was exactly what he always imagined it.
But then he felt Taehyung lips trembling and pulling away, so he put one of his hands on the back of Taehyung’s neck, and the other one on his hip. Taehyung didn’t move back anymore and, instead he gripped Hoseok’s shirt.
They continued kissing even though Taehyung’s tears were wetting their cheeks.
They stopped only once Taehyung was sobbing and Hoseok hugged him, shushing him and comforting him, placing little kisses all over his face. He knew that what he was doing was wrong, that he shouldn’t take advantage of Taehyung like that, even though it was Taehyung who started the kiss. But he couldn’t resist, he liked the younger from the first time they met. Taehyung cried until he fell asleep in Hoseok arms and he picked him up and put him on his bed.
The next morning Hoseok watched Taehyung enter the kitchen with red eyes for the second time in a too short span of time and he just kiss him and keep him safe somewhere.
“Good morning” chirped Hoseok offering Taehyung the cup of coffee he just prepared for himself.
“Uhm…good morning hyung” said awkwardly Taehyung, not grabbing the coffee and instead going to the fridge to get some orange juice.
Hoseok could sense, well, he could actually see, how nervous was Taehyung and he knew he was going to say something about the previous evening. He knew that he never meant to kiss him, he just did it out of sadness or desperation, Hoseok wasn’t very sure about it.
“Hey, I heard that this weekend there is the circus. We could go” proposed Hoseok, he didn’t want to let this, his, chance go to waste.
“I-I don’t think it’s a good idea” replied Taehyung not looking at Hoseok. The latter sighed and went to where Taehyung was standing near the fridge with his glass of juice in hand. He carefully placed the glass on the counter and took Taehyung’s and in his.
“Taehyung, please, come with me. Give me a chance, I can make you happy too”. He didn’t asked Taehyung to accept his feelings, he knew he would be rejected, he just asked for a chance, to prove Taehyung that he could be, if not better, at least like Jimin.
Taehyung swallowed hard. He didn’t want to accept because he knew that Hoseok felt something for him and he couldn’t return whatever he felt other than friendship, but at the same time he felt like it was wrong to not give him a chance since he was so serious. After all it wasn’t like Jimin would come at him anytime soon.
“Ok” agreed weakly, offering a small smile.
“Really?” asked surprised Hoseok, he thought he had to plead a lot more before convincing him. Taehyung just nodded and watched as Hoseok smiled brightly back at him and for a moment he thought that he wasn’t that bad, also he always has fun with him, so maybe he could forget Jimin. But he thought about this only for a moment, there was no way he could go over the feelings he had for his best friend, they were just too deep. (Also because Hoseok had to make all those sounds that he deemed cute, but in reality were only annoying, Taehyung smacked his arm, not-so-lightly for making him stop and they both laughed.)
The rest of the week went on with Taehyung promptly avoiding Jimin and Hoseok as much as possible, resulting in him always closed in the library studying. This sounded weird to the both of them, when they talked about it during one of their dance practices, Taehyung never studied this much. Hoseok just shrugged telling Jimin to let Taehyung be, Jimin just sending him a lot of messages, that were replied with short answers or excuses.
Saturday came faster than Taehyung expected and he wasn’t’ ready at all. He spent the last hour in front of the mirror to choose what to wear, thinking of what to do or say.
“Tae, are you ready?” said Hoseok, leaning on the door frame. Taehyung nodded and after a last look at the mirror he followed him out of the apartment. He smiled a little seeing Hoseok’s car. It had at least twenty years and was a leftover of Hoseok’s grandfather, it had several scratches and there were visible bumps all over, but Taehyung liked it nonetheless.
“I’m sorry for the car. I tried asking my parents to borrow one of theirs, but they said that I already had one, so…” said Hoseok a little embarrassed.
“It’s not a problem, I like this car” smiled Taehyung.
“I know, but I wanted to impress you a little, you know?” answered back Hoseok, opening the door for Taehyung. The latter entered the car taken aback a little, he was totally not ready for this. For Hoseok opening the door for him, for Hoseok wanting to impress him, but he would be lying if he said that he didn’t like it.
When they arrived at the entrance Taehyung tried to pay but Hoseok stopped him, even if he complained that he had to pay since the older already drove them there.
“I asked you out, so I’m paying” said Hoseok with that tone that didn’t admit replies.
“But I’m going to buy popcorn” pouted little Taehyung.
“You can do that” agreed the older.
“So did you had fun?” asked Hoseok once they were in the parking in front of their apartment.
Taehyung thought a little before answering. He really did have fun, also he and Hoseok had a lot in common, so being with him was easy and, excluding the first 30 minutes when Taehyung had to internalize the fact that they were on a date, he never felt nervous or self-conscious. It was almost like with Jimin.
“Yes, thanks hyung” said at the end, not looking at him.
“Good” sighed Hoseok, and it was like he just received a good grade in school. “So, we can do it some other times? The dates, I mean…”
Taehyung looked at him this time. He didn’t look like Jimin, he was taller, his face was longer, his eyes didn’t disappear when he would laugh, his laugh wasn’t like thousand bells ringing. But if he closed his eyes, he could smell the same shower gel Jimin used.
As an answer, he kissed him. He kissed him even though he knew that was wrong, that this could hurt Hoseok and he didn’t want it, Hoseok didn’t deserve this, he deserved a lot more, but this was what Taehyung needed.
“I really like your scent” said Taehyung, before kissing him again, licking the older’s lower lip and letting him slide his tongue in.
After a while of them kissing sloppily Taehyung broke the kiss and moved his mouth to Hoseok’s ear, he licked the shell and placed a wet kiss on it. “Turn off the car” whispered, biting the lobe gently.
He got off and went to open the door of the house. He heard Hoseok running behind him and when he was close enough he turned around and kissed him again, this time sliding his tongue in first without even letting Hoseok knew. Not that he was complaining, he really liked Taehyung’s tongue inside is mouth.
Hoseok let him be for a while before separating them and going inside pulling Taehyung in as well. As soon as he closed the door he connected their mouth again, slamming the younger against the door. He bit on Taehyung lip and instinctively Taehyung’s hips snapped forward against Hoseok’s, both of them let out a low groan. Hoseok managed to put on leg between Taehyung’s and rubbed it against his groin, pulling out pleased moans, but when he started to mouth at his collarbone Taehyung let out the most beautiful sound Hoseok ever heard, that went directly to his half-hard cock.
“Let’s go to the bed” Hoseok said, pulling away his leg causing Taehyung to almost fell, his legs too weak to support him. Hoseok smirked satisfied at that and picked him up, Taehyung, immediately hooked his legs behind Hoseok and wrapped his hands around his neck nipping at it.
When they made to Hoseok’s bedroom he literally dropped the younger on his bed and took off his shirt before going to undress the younger, leaving kisses and hickeys all over his body.
Once they were only in underwear Hoseok thought about asking the younger if he was ok with continuing. He didn’t say anything, though, too scared that the younger wanted to stop. Still, Taehyung was hard too, so it wasn’t like he wouldn’t get something out of it, anyway.
He took off Taehyung’s underwear slowly, looking at Taehyung face for any kind of discomfort, but the only reaction he got from him was he lifting his hips, making easier the process.
Hoseok looked at Taehyung’s cock. It was hard and there was a pearl of precome at tip, and all of this for him. He licked his mouth before kissing the head and then taking it in his mouth all at once.
He hollowed his cheeks and sucked, looking forward to Taehyung’s response. Taehyung screamed and gripped his hairs. It felt so good and he imagined if Jimin was this good too. Maybe he was, his lips were so plump that they would definetly look good around his dick.
He felt the tip hitting the back of Hoseok’s throat and he felt him swallowing. “Ji-hyung!” he screamed. It was so sudden and so good that he almost screamed Jimin’s name without realizing. He hoped that Hoseok didn’t heard it, and by the why he was still blowing him, he could tell that he didn’t.
Hoseok kept on sucking and swirling his tongue around the other, but him saying Jimin’s name made his heart hurt a lot. In the end Taehyung was only using him as a substitute for Jimin and maybe the best idea for him was to stop. Stop and tell Taehyung he wasn’t one to be played with, that his feelings for him were sincere. He should haves topped if he didn’t want to end up even more hurt than he already was, but Taehyung was moaning beautifully under him and he just couldn’t stop.
He couldn’t stop when he had three fingers inside Taehyung, not when he was pounding inside of him, not when they both came and few tears escaped Taehyung’s eyes and he couldn’t tell if it was from the orgasm or something else. Either way, he got up and cleaned both of them before falling asleep next an already sleeping Taehyung.