Chapter Text
Agony.
Sheer, unknowable agony.
Funny. I know everything in the universe, and don't even have the words to describe this.
There was no head left to ache, or heart to race, but the sensations were there anyways. Every inch was aflame. Seams were tearing as infinity poured itself into a finite vessel. The King's jagged edges cut against the ridges of his mind.
I wish dying didn't take so long...
YOU FOOL. The voice in his head was still screaming its rage. YOU HAVE DOOMED YOURSELF.
If he could still remember how to speak, he would have had some response to that- some way to avoid going out quietly. But he'd already had his one liner, and now even his voice wouldn't work.
The line between the game and reality were getting thinner. Maybe the King was reaching out into the physical world, or maybe Derek was being pulled into the game. Either way, two minds that weren't meant to meet were clashing against each other, and both of them were collapsing in on themselves like a dying star. Beautiful. Horrible.
And above all, just really really painful.
YOUR DEATH IS MEANINGLESS. The King was still ranting. I WILL FIND ANOTHER VESSEL. I WILL BREAK FREE OF THIS SHELL OF A MIND. YOU CANNOT UNMAKE ME.
"Would you shut up?"
The slurred words came as a surprise to both of them. Derek couldn't even feel his body anymore. But the words had still come out of his mouth. Still here. I'm... still here? Well, not really. His mind was still flooding with everything all at once. He could taste blood in his mouth. Had he bitten his tongue? His eyes burned. He couldn't blink- couldn't close them. All he could see was gold.
He was supposed to die here. That was the plan, wasn't it? He had seen everything. Every possibility, every bit of horror and destruction that the King would release upon the world if he was allowed to take Avery as his vessel. One life for a whole world- even a meaningless world that was nothing but a speck of dust against the universe- felt like a worthy trade.
More importantly, Avery would live.
Even in an ocean of knowledge, the thought of Avery shone through like a lighthouse. When knowledge had flooded his mind, Avery had been there. He'd seen him- seen everything about him, known him, understood him. He'd seen the bright, brilliant, beautiful person that he was- the person that he needed to be allowed to become. Caring for him had been as natural as the beat of his own heart. How could he not care for someone like him? No- not someone like him- him. Because Avery was Avery, and there was no being in existence that was like him- no person that ever was or ever would be him. A marvelous singularity that the King wanted to snuff out and leave a hollow shell- just a body to puppet around. That alone made the pain worth it.
Except for one small problem- the pain wasn't killing him.
It hurt, of course. It hurt like being run over by a truck with saw blades for wheels. But it wasn't killing him. He wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the King's frantic attempts to save both their minds with whatever was left of his dissolving power. Or maybe it was just Derek's own will, balking at the thought of being unmade- of being forgotten and erased from existence. Either way, he wasn't dying and it was excruciating.
He clenched his fists- fists he'd forgotten he had. Had he been typing on a keyboard, or had his avatar's movements become his own? Infinite knowledge, and yet in that moment he couldn't clearly picture his own face. He could only see that dark helmet, staring out without expression. The way the King saw him.
The King had seemed to realize that they weren't dying as well, because suddenly the rage turned to a cruel glee. YOU ARE UNABLE TO FINISH THE JOB. There was delight in his voice. YOU ARE STILL HOLDING ON TOO TIGHTLY.
Derek knew exactly what he meant- and exactly what was keeping them there, locked into reality when it was safer for everybody if he just slipped away. It was Avery. It was always Avery. It wasn't fair. To have the opportunity to know someone like that- to understand and hear and see them but never once get to truly look at them, feel the smoothness of their hands, hear the ring of their laugh... Could you love someone you'd never met? And did it matter when Derek knew everything about him? Every secret he was ashamed of, every thought he kept to himself, every like and quirk and above all the heart that drove him?
I could have loved him. He might have even loved me. But that... in all the knowledge of the universe, that was unknown. Because in every infinity, it led to this point right here. I always find my way to the gates. There was never a 'them'. There was nothing past this.
But he was here. He was fighting. Even if he didn't know why, he couldn't let go.
The pain was growing as he reached out. His hand was shaking. But he was moving. He could feel his body.
Agony spiked as he slammed the laptop shut. The King only laughed as it finally grew to be too much. His last thought was a desperate wish that this would truly kill him before he blacked out.