Work Text:
Medkit was afraid of intimacy
Since his younger years being vulnerable with people was more than hard, he was taken away from his caretakers, his only family to work for blackrock almost like he was a machine rather than a person.
In the years he worked for blackrock he made friends with his co-workers, maybe some less close than others but they were “friends” people to laugh with and to be happy with to drink or eat everything that friends do. But being true to them, talking about things he didn't like or was afraid of wasn't one of these things. These were his problems, not anyone else's and besides he was too busy to deal with them.
But he had one close friend, subspace. Sure they were rivals always trying to be better than the other arguing and misunderstandings but outside work they were… good? Familiar and good “friends” talking about all of their dislikes and worries and fears. It was a warm fire in a cold world for Medkit. someone to listen to his struggles and relate to, someone who can joke with you about personal stuff and not worry about saying something bad, someone he… trusted. At least that's what he thought.
An argument broke out between them. Shouts and slurs making medkit ears ring for the noise, he hated loud noises subspace knew taking advantage of it making him feel even worse. Medkit remembered exactly what he told Subspace that day, just how useless he is to blackrock, how if he wasn't there blackrock would throw him out to the cold world to die in the snow alone, how he will always be in his shadow, never more than a spare scientist. Word for word what Subspace told medkit a few days ago, praising medkits work in the progress of talking about how much he is not enough.
At that day medkit didn't know what to do, so he pulled him for a hug and told him that all he said wasn't true, that he was an amazing scientist and they both deserve to be known across all the inpherno.
When medkit stopped shouting at Subspace he suddenly felt guilt build up and the next thing he saw was a hand to his eye.
That happened a long time ago now as medkit laid on the couch in his apartment thinking about that, he would never be vulnerable with anyone else in his life after that… he will deal with his problems alone… no matter how heavy it is, no matter how his throat hurts from wanting to scream or his eyes burn from not letting himself tear up…
Knock knock
From the apartment door as medkit jumps for the sound not expecting visitors… he didn't really plan on going out today wearing a normal tank top and some sweat pants, maybe it's sword checking on him, bringing him some food because he knew medkit was a terrible one.
Knock knock
“I'm coming…”
Medkit said he didn't need to shout because the couch was close to the door. He sat up stretching his arms and neck with a grumble walking up to the door looking through the peephole
“Banhammer? Why are you here?”
Medkit asked, still looking at the huge inphernal behind his door not wearing his usual armor but a basic shirt and some jeans not wearing his usual blindfold and he seemed to be holding something, he wasn't worried, he and banhammer knew each other for quite some time… sure he was annoying and loud… but he was warm and nice to be around.
“Heya doc! I was getting worried you're not home or something. Can I come in?”
Without a second thought medkit unlocked the door with a soft click and opened it but not fully looking at banhammer with his usual tired face feeling very… how did rocket call it? “Chopped” or something that said that he was looking bad right now.
“Sword told me to bring you some food he
said he was going somewhere with rocket and was worried about you”
Banhammer said with a smile holding out to medkit the bag he was holding
“It's some soup I made, he didn't really tell me what to bring and I had some leftovers”
Medkit hummed now, opening the door fully, taking the bag looking down at it… the soup was in a round box still hot, probably heated not long ago and from the looks of it it looked like bean soup.
“Thank you, banhammer… and tell sword that I appreciate it”
Medkit said with very tried voice before slowly closing the door but a hand stooped him
“Wait-!”
Banhammer looked at medkits eyes, it was a bit intimidating, four eyes that seemed to stare into his soul. It started to get annoying. Medkit kind of wanted to be alone all day but of course the warden himself needed to find a way to annoy him, SFOTHs it's like the universe hates him.
“Listen- I'm kinda off work today and I wanted to meet up with a friend for a while”
Friend?
He saw him as a friend? But medkit was so… cold to him? Well yeah they joked sometimes and had talks but friends?
“I'm sorry I'm a bit tired today-”
Medkit mumbled out looking down still thinking about his life and… past “friend”
But banhammer wasn't having it and pulls out his police badge from his pocket
“Well then medkit, I need to go into your house for some investigatin’”
“you don't have a warrant”
“And who are you going to report it to? The police?”
Medkit looked back at Banhammer, reporting to the police that the police wants to "investigate his apartment” without a warrant is more than useless. Medkit getting a bit angry takes a deep breath to calm down
“Fine officer, just do it quickly”
As medkit opens the door again, letting Banhammer in who has a winning grin on his face into his apartment. It was a tidy place. Small and minimalistic but it was an apartment alright
Medkit went up to the kitchen putting the bag on the counter for now while banhammer walks in looking around the apartment
“So… Do you want to eat together?”
Banhammer asked, sounding a bit awkward which was really out of character for the warden of the banlands. Medkit thought for a moment… he did bring a big box with soup and medkit didn't think he would finish it anyway… it wouldn't hurt to not waste it right? Especially when banhammer made it
“Sure… give me five minutes to prepare. You can sit in the table for now”
Medkit answered as he took two glass bowls, opening the box with the soup pouring it to the bowls, giving himself less than a banhammer.
“Do you want some water?”
Medkit asked, looking back at Banhammer who was already sitting at the table looking at medkit nodding. Medkit took note and took two glass poured some water in them and brought everything to the table sitting in front of banhammer
“Thank you again for the food… although sword never told me he knew you”
Medkit commented looking at banhammer as he was in front of him looking back at the soup that he had to admit… smelled amazing
“Oh yeah! Apparently we're related, my Ma told me that like a month ago I think”
Banhammer explained starting to eat the soup. Medkit was a bit nervous of trying the soup for himself, he didn't know why but his gut was telling him to be a bit wary of food that came from others, even sword but he ignored it and tasted it…
It tasted… amazing- like the smell. The beans were soft and nice, the vegetables added an amazing savory flavor and the soup itself had a touch of sweetness with a little spice to it that made it all better. Medkits face lightened up, he usually eats store bought meals or some low effort sandwich or salad that he makes but this… this was good! This soup compared to the other stuff he eats in the regular was a gourmet meal, well the bar wasn't that high but at least it was good food for a change. Medkit was so amazed by the taste that he only now realized what Banhammer said. As he coughed from the surprise
“Oh shit- I forget to tell you it's a bit spicy”
Banhammer panicked a bit standing up and taking medkits cup to give it to him but medkit shrugs it off
“No no- it's not the soup. You said that sword is a demigod?!”
“well technically yes but- I doubt that he has the strength of one”
“Huh… he never told me that…”
Medkit lifelessly said as he looked down. He knew sword since he was a newspawn he is like an older brother to him… why didn't he tell him about that? Did he forget? Or maybe just didn't trust Medkit enough? Medkit shakes the thought of that out of his head, sword always had something to talk to. Maybe he really forgot to mention it or maybe he did but medkit was too tired or daydreaming and didn't pay attention. Either way sword could tell medkit anything right?
Right?
“Doc you okay? You look a bit down after I said that, is it a bad thing?”
Banhammer questioned medkit
“No it's not a bad thing it's just…”
Medkit let out a sigh and looked to the side
“I thought he would at least mention it to me”
He wailed as he continued to eat the soup in front of him. Banhammer took notice that medkit was feeling a bit down and tried to cheer him up
“It's not like that! Maybe he thought it wasn't important or something? You know I mean who really cares right?”
Banhammer smiled at him. Medkit noticed and couldn't help the smile that creeped into his face. Seeing banhammer being genuinely caring and not annoying or full of himself was new to him, it filled him up with a warm feeling on his cheeks
“Yeah… maybe”
Medkit hummed back at Banhammer now letting his smile show. Half from the good food and half from the inphernal In front of him.
“By the way… this soup It's amazing. What recipe did you use?”
“Oh well- from my Ma of course! She would always make me this as a kid but as I got older I wanted to be more independent so when she felt down one day I went out got the ingredients and made it for her! It was… a disaster when I made it for the first time mostly because I just kinda didn't use a recipe, it was so bad I remember my momma spitting it out and I cried. But then she took me back to the kitchen and showed me how to make it!”
“Did she actually spit it out?”
“Yeah but then she remembered that I was looking”
Medkit laughed for that story just imagining the most terrifying deity being surprised by bad soup and little banhammer looking sad was amusing to say the least
“Yeah yeah laugh all you want, at least the ones a make are better now”
“Ah- sorry I didn't mean to insult you or anything”
Medkit cleared his throat looking at banhammer who had a brighter smile now after hearing medkit laugh, now that he's taking a second look at banhammer he had to admit he was very handsome… that thought makes his cheeks even warmer as a blush slowly grows on it
“What about you Doc? Any recipes you know?”
“Well… it's not exactly food but… I like to make green tea with some ginger”
“Tea? I took you more for a coffee kind of guy”
“I like both but coffee is more of a drink I take to wake up, tea is something I make when I want to relax a bit… I like drinking it and looking down at the street. Warm drinks make me think of better things rather than when I'm cold… I guess that the reason I'm also a fan of soups honestly”
Banhammer was a bit surprised hearing medkit talk about himself with him but only staring blankly at the street? Isn't it a bit boring?
“Surely you do other stuff than watch the street under your house right?”
“I like to sketch it…”
“The street?”
“Places I like, the street, the park… maybe some animals that are nearby”
“Really? Never took ya for an artist”
“What? No- I wouldn't call myself an artist… artists take reality and change and twist it to their liking… I only copy it”
Medkit pointed out, even for someone who likes to sketch he knew his sketches were very depressing, they're all very dark and empty maybe because he focused more on the shadows than the light in his drawings
“Aww come on don't be hard on yourself! Nobody can copy reality so that makes your “reality sketches" art and if I'm being serious I would like to see them”
Banhammer assured the medkit, giving him another grin as they kept eating and talking about stuff they like, stuff that makes them laugh… stuff that makes them uncomfortable, stuff that makes them afraid as they finish the warm soup. It all seemed like hours and hours of talking with someone medkit trusts. Maybe they are really friends. When they finished eating, Banhammer helped medkit clean the dishes and organize them back. When they finished they both sat down on the couch sitting close to each other medkit feeling more comfortable with banhammer around even bringing his sketchbook to show banhammer his drawings
“Wow… these are amazing- not an artist my ass you've got talent!”
Banhammer exclaimed flipping through the pages studying every sketch medkit made
“It's not talent, it's experience… really”
Medkit admitted getting redder again trying to hide it, but banhammer noticed how he looked so sweet with the red on his face, how he smiled and tried to hide it with his hand. As they continued chatting for an hour or so the sun lowered and the sky was turning orange to a dark blue, Banhammer looked at the clock and sighs.
“Well doc, it was really nice "investigating” your house”
“Is there anything wrong with it officer?”
“No but I was looking for that tea you mentioned, maybe next time, yeah?”
“Maybe…”
Medkit exhaled both getting up and walking to the door saying goodbye as banhammer got out of the apartment but before he could go medkit took his hand
“Before you go…”
Medkit pulled him closer and gave him a kiss on the cheek shooting his shot
“Thank you for spending your day with me banhammer, I'm looking forward for it again, goodnight”
Medkit said with a genuine smile on his face while banhammer was turning red and held the place where medkit kissed him
“You too meddy”
Banhammer smiled waving at him, as medkit locked the door feeling the warm feeling he felt before but much much stronger than friendship…