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A raindrop trailed down from a strand of hair and onto his nose as his feet hurriedly paddled his bike. Amidst his adrenaline, he looked up only to find that it was raining—and that he was already nearing Alexander’s house.
Once the wheel of his bike grazed the light pathway, he got off in such a hurry that his socks had almost ripped from getting stuck to something Elias couldn’t quite see. His brain was foggy, his eyesight dark, his skin freezing, and his heart so desperately longing.
“Alex…!” He shouted, but it was no louder than a whisper. “Alex!” He tried again against the sound of heavy rain, this time louder than the last. And when that didn’t work he had resorted to throwing rocks at Alex’s bedroom window. His heart pounded in his chest when he heard a faint sound. He felt like collapsing in relief when Alex opened his window.
Seeing his face made him feel fulfilled. He was satisfied with just this. He would be fine if Alex had decided not to entertain him, if he raised his middle finger at him and told him to scram. Elias would be so happy to hear his voice. It was enough.
“Hold on, I’m going down.”
Then he heard it—that sweet melody. Like all the notes decided to merge into one tone.
How could someone have such a harmonious voice?
He felt himself smiling, letting out an exasperated sigh in relief. He took a step back, grabbing at whatever he could to stop his knees from giving out. The front door clicked.
He was met with a worried look, he could tell through half-lidded eyes.
“Elias, what…” Elias heard him shudder, and all he could think of was pressing his lips against his. He walked into the shade soaking but his feet fueled by desire. But he couldn’t get everything he wanted in one night. Alex’s palms quickly clasped his forearms, pushing him away.
Alex’s eyebrows furrowed at the state of the boy. He smelled intoxicated, what with the fact that he could barely stand and the way he was looking at Alex like he was going to ravish him.
Filled to the brim with dissatisfaction, Elias was determined. His eyes left Alex’s lips once to look into his hazel eyes, then back again to his lips where he inched closer again. Alex quickly took hold and stopped him for the second time.
“Elias.” He said stoically. Their eyes seemed glued to one another. “Listen to me.”
Elias bit his bottom lip in frustration. He continued to look at the boy in front of him with eyes threatening to close and his heart burning. When Alex realized he was grasping him tightly, he loosened his hold. He began to caress the skin he was growing so familiar with. Then he spoke again.
“You’ve been drinking,” Alex furrowed his dark brows, one of his palms reaching to push the hair off Elias’ forehead, watching as water trickled down his fingers. “Haven’t you?”
Elias hummed. “Valerie took them from her grandma’s counter.”
His words reeked with alcohol. Alex grew wary. He didn’t know what to say, only to feel. Then he lost Elias’ deep, blue eyes, because they had shut and he was now laying his head on Alex’s chest, Elias’ forehead pressed against the crook of his neck. And they couldn’t possibly stay like this for the rest of the night, though Alex would be willing to spend an entire lifetime just like this, with Elias in his arms and hearing his steady breaths. His skin was starting to shiver and he could feel Elias’ do the same. And though his shirt was soaked, he felt warmer than he had ever.
“Come.” Alex voiced, a lullaby to Elias’ ears, he had thought. “Lay with me.”
With that, Elias opened his eyes again. He lifted his head and his feet were already following Alex inside involuntarily like it was instinct. His feet against the wooden floor made wet, slippery sounds, but Elias paid more attention to whatever was pounding in his ears.
Alex sat him down by the kitchen counter. Whatever Alex said next was incoherent to him. He only saw him bring a glass of water on the table in the moments following. Then Alex murmured something again but all he could hear was his heart thumping.
He saw that Elias was out of it. “First time drinking?”
Elias, through almost non-working ears, miraculously heard the words ‘first’ and ‘drinking’ and so he understood the implication. He nodded, untrusting of the words that would come out his mouth.
But Alexander figured he was cold from the way his breath shivered, and he himself knew that he had to change his and Elias’ clothes, otherwise they’d both be ill by sunrise. So he carefully guided Elias up the stairs, being sure to scrutinize every step so that he wouldn’t fall completely. He led him to his bathroom, catching the boy when he had missed a step and almost slipped. Elias sat down atop the toilet lid. His back was slouched and lips parted, panting very slowly.
“Take it off,” Alex said, his voice bouncing off the walls. “Your shirt.”
Elias, in this enclosed and echoing space, could for once hear whatever Alex was saying. His cheeks were painted a shade of pink. “Why?”
“Why? Because you’re going to catch a fever if you don’t. Or do you need help in doing so?” Alex reached to take it off himself, but Elias put a hand in front to stop him. He looked away, pouting. He slid it off himself anyway with a horrible blush evident on his ears.
Alex scoffed, raising an eyebrow. “I’ve seen you shirtless countless of times.” But he thought that perhaps alcohol had amplified his hormones. Elias didn’t answer, he was focused on trying not to fall asleep.
“Now your shorts.”
Elias’ head shot up. “What?”
Alex sighed. “I know you might not believe it—“ Given that you’re somewhat drunk, he thought “but I’ve also seen you without them before. And you’ve seen me naked, so it’s fair, don’t you think?”
Elias pressed his lips into a thin line reluctantly, but he obliged eventually. He slipped off his shorts, setting them to the side. After what felt like a few seconds, he heard Alex click something and suddenly the sound of water was rushing down. Looking for the source, he looked around and saw a bathtub filling up. His knees wobbled and he felt like jumping into the warmth already.
“Come now,” Alex gestured for him to stand. So he did, trying his best to stay upright before plopping into the water. He shuddered at the feeling of warm water surrounding him after being in the cold rain for so long. His shoulder perked up and his knees bent to his chest. He closed his eyes, lowering himself more into the water.
“Now I don’t quite trust you in bathing yourself, I could walk back in here and see that you’ve drowned.” Alexander uttered, closing the tap.
Elias replied with something muffled. His eyes were closed shut and if not for the sounds of a stool’s legs scraping against the hard tiles then he definitely would have fallen asleep.
“Don't fall asleep, farm boy.”
Elias eyes shot open at the comment. He panned his head to wherever Alex was sitting, “I'm not falling asleep.”
“Sure.”
Elias felt like debating about it–but the feeling of warm water washing over him completely dissolved the words on his tongue. After he’d rinsed his head, Alex reached for the bottle of shampoo by the sink. Elias took this time to observe his surroundings. He was sat inside of Alex’s bathtub, and he had noticed the absence of the shower head; so he made the conclusion that it was what Alex was using to rinse his hair. He turned to the sink, where under the mirror was a cup with a singular toothbrush. Alex’s. It was a simple bathroom, compared to his was more neat. Then the thought hit him like a rummaging truck.
He’s being bathed by Alexander. He couldn’t even do it himself. Embarrassed, he furrowed his brows, not finding it in his heart to tell him to stop, because he didn’t want him to. He never wants it to end. Just the two of them, alone in a small bathroom, with Alex taking care of him. Making sure he’s warm and comfortable.
“You don’t have to do all of this.” He said. Alexander smiled softly, a glint of tease in his eyes. “I want to do this.” Elias heard the shower being turned on, and before he could react, water was already pouring atop his head. He closed his eyes, the flowery scent of the shampoo filling the air. It was a familiar fragrance. He wondered where he’d smelled it before.
“… It’s embarrassing, I’m not a child.”
“Why don’t you just sit there and let me take care of you?” Alex groaned. Elias didn’t answer. He let the hand against his back push him forward until his back was more exposed. He felt Alex trail his fingers from his shoulder blades, then slowly pressing the middle with his full palm. Elias let out a breath.
“What are you doing?” He asked.
Alex paused. Elias turned around to get a grasp of reality, but he was stopped by the feeling of something slippery making circular motions on his backside.
“I’ve never seen your moles up close.” Alex muttered. He felt him write something on his back through the soap bubbles using his finger, and it felt awfully like the letter ‘A’. It painted a warm shade of pink over Elias’ ears.
“I think they look beautiful.”
Elias laughed, a singular huff. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Ridiculously beautiful, then.”
“You’re so damn corny.”
Alex fell into a spiral of laughter, and Elias quickly felt contaminated by it. He found himself giggling along before he felt warm splashes of water behind him.
“I think you’re sobering up.” Alex said, standing from the stool and wiping his hands on his soaked shirt. “I’ll go get you some clothes, you can use that towel over there—“ he pointed at a hanging white towel, “and dry yourself off in the meantime.”
“Yeah.” Elias replied shortly. He heard the door close behind him, and so he took it as his queue to stand from the bathtub and dry himself off like Alex had told him. He sighed again at the cold air hitting his skin, but his chest was warm despite it. Something about Alexander taking care of him ticked something in his chest, it sent blood rushing to his cheeks and he was beginning to blush terribly.
He was startled by a knock on the door.
“Elias?”
“You can come in,” Elias said, loud enough for him to hear. The door creaked open and Alex was met with Elias standing by the mirror, his hands on the sink as he watched his reflection. His towel was covering him from waist-down and he took it as his opportunity to further memorize the curves of Elias’ torso, his moles, and everything in between.
“I think these’ll fit you.” He offered him a dark colored T-shirt and maroon pajamas, which were folded neatly as he held them.
“These are yours?” Elias asked.
“I mean, I wouldn’t give you my dad’s, you weirdo.”
“That’s not what I meant—“
“And my sister’s clothes are far too small and far too girly—“
“That’s not what I meant, but all right.” Elias laughed, Alex followed. He turned to leave again, locking the door before stepping out the threshold.
Elias first threw the shirt over his head, and almost immediately he felt dizzy by Alexander’s scent filling his nose. He felt like he had crawled into his skin. But it was not unfamiliar to him. Sometimes they would hang out, hug, or even sprawl on the grass next to each other for so long that both their scents would cling to the other. He had smelled this when he kissed him for the first time. When he nuzzled his head against his neck. When he hugged his waist tighter than he ever has hugged anyone. He was drunk off it.
When he left the bathroom, he found that it was connected to Alex’s room, a detail he had missed because he was too out of himself earlier. Now he was comfortable and wearing Alexander’s clothes like it was a watermark. He found him laying on his bed, scrolling on his phone.
“Are you all right?” Asked Alexander, to which Elias nodded. He slid his fingers through wet, wavy hair, “I’ll go home now.”
“But you promised you’d lay with me.” Alex replied almost immediately. And while Elias could not remember a single thing about what happened prior to him being in the bathroom, he might drunkenly have agreed to that promise.
“I did, didn’t I…” Elias sighed, sitting on the edge of his bed. His eyes darted toward a bean bag across Alex’s bed, “I can sleep over there.”
Alex’s eyes followed his. “No.” His answer was simple. Elias turned to look at him in surprise.
“You’re not going anywhere,” he locked his gaze. “You said you would lay with me.”
Elias pressed his lips into a thin line, his ears perking and emitting another color of pink. He furrowed his brows and fiddled with his fingers, unsure of what to say. His body led him where his mind could not, and he found himself ruffling the blankets in which Alex was covered in.
He placed himself beside the boy, sleep seeping its way into his eyes. Before he wanted to close them entirely, he turned to look at Alex, the edges of his lips curling upwards, showing a soft smile. He felt warmer than usual.
Then Alexander felt his own arm being maneuvered around by Elias. Elias had snaked Alex’s arm around his neck, pushing him down further into the bed. His eyes were closed shut and relied on whatever his hands were touching. Alex let himself be moved around. When they both settled under the covers, Elias could not hold his exhaustion for any longer. The moment he had blinked, he was deep in slumber. He was positioned in a way that his cheek was against Alex’s forearm, one of his legs comfortably over Alex’s.
Alex, on the other hand, took his time. He watched the slow rise and fall of Elias’ chest. The fluttering of his long, blonde lashes. The way his mouth parted slightly. How he felt his skin scorch with every touch. He had almost asked every deity above to keep this moment going, forever and ever. But he did want to keep making more memories with the boy sleeping soundly in his arms; he had not seen every version of Elias yet. He has not seen him sick, has not seen him cry (though the closest was seeing him hold his tears in, which he hated), has not seen him as a grown, functioning adult, has not seen him as a gray haired old man. Alex wanted nothing more but to spend the rest of his life with him, grow old with him, share more moments with him. He wanted to be there for every phase of life. But for now, it was enough. This was enough.
He sighed, looking up into the ceiling. He’d been awake for quite a while. He pushed himself further into the covers and Elias. He swung his arm over him gently, pressing the boy against his chest. He caressed his blonde curls for a while until he was satisfied, then, he closed his own eyes.
“Good night, mi petit copain.”