Chapter Text
Tatsuya didn’t remember how his parent died. In fact, he wasn’t even sure he ever knew, all he remembered was people in black suits picking him up from school and bringing him to Sun Garden, the orphanage he had been living in ever since.
There was a lot of toys, dolls, toy cars, even a ball pit, and a whole playground outside, and the children there were nice, they invited him to play, but never got upset or called him rude when he said no.
And he always said no. He didn’t know those children, and he didn’t want to know them, he just wanted to go home, play with the children at his school, with the old toys in his room, in his house that didn’t even have a garden. That was where he was supposed to be, not in this new place he didn’t know and already didn’t like.
But he couldn’t go home, the adults told him so. He would never go home, and he would never see his parents again.
The world he knew was gone, and he didn’t want a new one.
A girl from the orphanage complemented his hair. She said it was the same color as a rose.
It made Tatsuya upset. His hair was just red, there was nothing more to it, it was a waste of time to find an explanation or a comparison for it. Most things felt like wastes of time nowadays, the toys, the playground, the cartoons on TV, it all felt pointless, dull, grey.
The only color Tatsuya noticed was his own hair, sticking out in the sea of muted tones and blurry shadows. It wasn’t his world, and his brightly colored hair only reminded him of that. Maybe that was why he was upset at what that girl said, because it reminded him that he didn’t belong in that world. His own world was gone, he was all alone.
He didn’t belong here.
After some time, the adults started encouraging Tatsuya to play with the other children.
He didn’t want to, he was fine sitting on the swing by himself, and he didn’t mind going somewhere else if someone wanted to use the swing, so why did they insist? Couldn’t they see he wanted to be left alone?
When the other children started insisting too, saying he had been here long enough to “get used to it”, Tatsuya decided he had had enough. He never wanted to come here, in a place full of strangers who wanted him to be happy when he just couldn’t, who kept trying to replace his family, his home, his world.
So one day, while everyone was playing outside, he ran. He had no idea where he was going, but anywhere was better than here.
Where even was the orphanage? Was it in the same town Tatsuya lived in with his parents? Was it on the other side of the country? He didn’t know. All he did was run straight ahead, away from the playground, and it looked like he was in a forest, there were trees everywhere, it never seemed to end…
Until it did.
After running for what felt like hours, Tatsuya reached the end of the forest, and his jaw dropped. He didn’t know what he expected to find, maybe a road, maybe a street with houses, maybe a school.
But what he certainly wasn’t expecting was a castle. A giant white castle, with many windows and balconies and flowers. It was so big that it was hard to see the top, and the white walls illuminated by the sun made it look like it was shining. It had to be magic, right? It looked like a fairy tale castle…
Tatsuya slowly walked closer to the giant building. What was it doing here, just outside the forest, so close to the orphanage? Was it a magic castle, like in stories? Did it magically appear here because Tatsuya was lost? Was there a princess living here? Was she nice? Maybe she would adopt Tatsuya and he wouldn’t need to go back to the orphanage-…
“Watch out!”
Before Tatsuya could figure out what the sudden warning was about, something hit him in the back of the head, throwing him face first in the dirt.
“Oops! Sorry! I didn’t see you were here!” the voice said while getting closer.
Tatsuya sat up with some difficulty.
He was dizzy, his vision was spinning a little, the back of his head was hurting, and his face too, especially his nose, it felt like it was heating up and stinging at the same time, and he had dirt in his mouth, and-…
Tatsuya started to cry. Loudly. His whole face hurt!
“Hey, are you okay-… Your nose is bleeding?! Did I really shoot that hard?!” the voice exclaimed in panic.
Tatsuya couldn’t answer because all that came out of his mouth was more cries.
“It’s okay, it’s nothing…” the person tried to calm him down, to no avail, “I know! Come with me, Nee-san will fix it!”
Tatsuya felt someone take his hand and drag him away, still crying.
He couldn’t see much through the tears, he just knew the hand was warm.
“How many times did I tell you to be more mindful of the people around you?”
“I was outside this time! I didn’t know anyone would be here! And I didn’t even break anything! Except maybe his nose…”
The woman rolled her eyes and poured some liquid on a ball of cotton.
“It’s going to sting a little bit, okay?” she said gently.
Tatsuya nodded and stood still, keeping his nose pinched with a tissue.
He had seen that woman at Sun Garden a few times, she was one of the adults who told him to try to play with the other children. He didn’t remember her name though, he didn’t pay attention.
That meant he had failed to escape, she was helping him now because he was hurt, but then she would bring him back to the orphanage. He didn’t want to go back, he wanted to stay in the castle, where everything was bright and colorful.
The inside of the castle was as beautiful as the outside, there were paintings on the walls, carpets, pretty vases with flowers, even a chandelier and giant stairs in the entrance, everything looked like a fairy tale…
Sun Garden was decorated too, the walls were all different pastel colors, there were drawings made by the children everywhere, the rooms were filled with toys, but to Tatsuya, it always felt dull, uninteresting, pointless, and too much at once.
With a smile, the woman lifted his hair and wiped his forehead with the cotton. And just like she said, it stung, bringing back some tears in Tatsuya’s eyes as he recoiled in his chair.
Or at least he tried, because two hands came to hold his head, firmly stopping him from moving.
“Done.” the woman told him with a smile, then frowned at the other boy, “Hiroto, you didn’t need to do that.”
“He was being a baby.” the boy protested.
Tatsuya turned around and finally got a good look at the boy who hit him in the head with a ball.
It was a boy his age, he had messy grey hair and his eyes were a dull pink, all muted colors, nothing to stand out, he should be fitting perfectly with the muted world Tatsuya now had to live in, but somehow he didn’t. There was something about him, Tatsuya just couldn’t look away.
So his name was Hiroto…
Tatsuya came back to the castle the very next day. He didn’t care about getting scolded for disappearing again, he wanted to see Hiroto.
And he found him surprisingly easily, in the exact same spot.
“What are you doing?” Tatsuya asked shyly.
Hiroto stopped making the ball bounce on his knee and let it fall to the ground where he put his foot on it.
“Oh, you’re the boy from yesterday. I’m just playing football. I’m really good at it, you know?” he said with a proud smile.
Tatsuya hummed pensively. He knew what football was, but he never tried it. Unless getting accidentally hit in the head counted as trying. His nose still hurt a little.
Hiroto’s smile quickly turned into a frown.
“What? Don’t believe me?” he asked with his arms crossed, offended.
“Well, I don’t know much about football so…” Tatsuya answered honestly.
Hiroto blinked, and his proud smile came back.
“It’s fine, I’m an expert, so trust me when I tell you, I’m an incredible player!”
Hiroto didn’t wait for his answer and started kicking the ball to make it bounce off the wall and come back directly in his feet.
Every time, Tatsuya was afraid it would break a window, but it never did, it always skillfully hit right beside it, leaving a dirt mark on the white wall. He did seem very agile, never missing his target and always waiting exactly where the ball would go as if it was attracted by his foot like a magnet.
He seemed very focused, completely ignoring Tatsuya’s presence. It was like he was in his own world with only him and his ball inside. And that world wasn’t muted and dull, because Hiroto was loud. Loud and bright, with his messy hair floating around following his movements, and a spark in his eyes, like an explosion.
Back in Sun Garden, all the voices melted together as background noise that Tatsuya easily ignored, even when people were talking right beside him. But Hiroto was impossible to ignore, his voice filled the air, grabbing all the attention effortlessly, as if demanding all eyes on him.
And yet, he was in his own world. A world Tatsuya found himself very curious about.
“Can I try?” he dared to ask.
Hiroto stopped for a second, before turning towards Tatsuya with a smile as bright as the sun.
“Sure!”
He stopped kicking the ball, this time catching it with his chest and giving a small kick to send it Tatsuya’s way without the ball even touching the ground.
Tatsuya looked down at the ball at his feet. For the first time in weeks, he felt nervous. He didn’t know what to do, he had never played football before but Hiroto seemed really good at it. Would he still let Tatsuya stick around if he didn’t do it right?
“Just kick it!” Hiroto encouraged him.
So Tatsuya obeyed.
“Do you realize how dangerous that is?”
“Sorry.” the two boys said at the same time with their heads down.
In front of them, the woman from yesterday, Hitomiko, was scolding them, along with an angry maid who had been on the other side of the window when the ball went through it and almost got hit.
Tatsuya wanted to cry again. Hiroto shouldn’t be in trouble, he actually knew how to not hit the windows, it was Tatsuya who was terrible at aiming but still wanted to impress Hiroto…
When the lecture eventually stopped, they were both allowed to go back to play, without sending Tatsuya back to Sun Garden immediately this time for some reason, though now they dreaded getting anywhere near the ball.
So they just sat on ground and ate chocolate bars that Hiroto had brought. He didn’t seem to mind sharing, just like he didn’t mind letting Tatsuya play with him earlier.
That made Tatsuya feel better. He could stay with Hiroto!
“Nee-san can be really scary when she’s mad…” Hiroto muttered.
“She never gets angry in Sun Garden…” Tatsuya added.
“You’re from Sun Garden?” Hiroto asked in surprise.
Tatsuya nodded, “She visits a lot, but I don’t really talk to her. Or anyone…”
He didn’t even know exactly how long he had been there. Weeks? Months?
“And you? Where are you from? I’ve never seen you in Sun Garden.”
Hiroto blinked, then pointed at the castle behind them.
“I live here. With Nee-san.” he said flatly.
Tatsuya almost dropped his chocolate bar.
“You live in the castle?!”
Was Hiroto a prince? Like in fairy tales? Was that why his was so skilled and why his smile was so bright and why his eyes were so pretty and-…
Hiroto burst out laughing.
“It’s…! It’s not…! It’s not a castle, you dummy! It’s a mansion!” he managed to say.
“It can’t be a mansion! Mansions are supposed to be scary and have ghosts in them!” Tatsuya tried to argue.
He had seen mansions in movies and in that video game he saw an add for once, they were all dark and gloomy and abandoned and they had ghosts! This building was all white and had flowers and pretty decorations! It was definitely a castle!
But Hiroto only laughed harder, so much that he fell to his side holding his stomach.
Tatsuya felt his cheeks start to heat up. What was so funny?!
“Well… We can always try to look for ghosts if you don’t believe me.” Hiroto finally said after catching his breath, wiping off a few tears.
Tatsuya went to the castle again. At night, this time.
The orphanage was really easy to sneak out from, but the forest was a little harder to navigate, especially with only the moon for light. But all he had to do was go straight ahead so it was okay.
Once he got at the meeting point, the same place they met earlier today, Tatsuya waited. The castle did look more like a mansion in the dark, but it was still a castle to him, a fairy tale castle he could take refuge in when he wanted to get away from Sun Garden.
He wondered if they would actually find any ghosts. Hiroto said him and Hitomiko lived here, ghosts didn’t live in places people still lived in, right?
Soft footsteps caught Tatsuya’s attention, and when he turned around…
“Boo!” Hiroto shouted in his face.
Tatsuya blinked.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
Hiroto was the one who told him to be careful not to get noticed by the adults, why was he shouting?
“What? You’re not scared?” Hiroto asked in shock.
Tatsuya shook his head, and Hiroto sighed. He seemed disappointed. And offended.
But he quickly got over it, and put his hands behind his head with a smile.
In the dark, under the moonlight, his dull pink eyes looked like they were glowing like gemstones.
“Well, you’re gonna be scared later anyway. Let’s go, I’ll show you the way.”
They entered the castle by climbing a sheet rope. A very long sheet rope.
“Are you okay?” Hiroto asked.
Tatsuya nodded, too out of breath to speak. He had never done that much exercise in his entire life… He almost gave up halfway through, but then he looked down and realized that if he let go of the rope, he would fall and smash on the ground in tiny pieces. Hitting his nose yesterday had been painful enough.
How did Hiroto do it so easily? Was he a superhuman?
“Okay then, welcome to my room! I’ll check if the hallway’s safe.”
Hiroto ran to the door and very slowly opened it to look outside.
Tatsuya looked around the room. It was big, bigger than the playground at Sun Garden, the bed was big too, as big as at least three normal beds, and there was a big couch and a TV. In a bedroom! There were posters on the walls too, but the light was turned off so it was hard to see what was on them. There also wasn’t a single toy in sight, they room seemed perfectly clean, everything was in its place.
Hiroto’s room was as beautiful as the rest of the castle.
“Alright, we can go.” Hiroto whispered, “Last chance to back out if you’re scared.”
“Why would I be scared? There’s not gonna be any ghost.”
Hiroto scoffed and gestured for Tatsuya to follow him out of the room.
Just like Tatsuya expected, there wasn’t a single ghost in the attic. Just old things covered in dust.
“See? No ghost. It’s a castle.” he insisted.
Hiroto scoffed and turned around, shining his flashlight directly in Tatsuya’s face.
“I told you it’s a mansion! I know what type of house I live in!”
Tatsuya rolled his eyes.
The boys kept looking around. There was a lot of interesting things, although most were in boxes, except for some furniture like a couch, a wardrobe, a chandelier… a broken trampoline?
There were also paintings, some with people, some with landscapes, some that looked like a mess of colors.
Tatsuya got closer to a portrait of an old man with an especially weirdly shaped mustache. It was long, curly and white, and looked like smoke coming out of his nose.
“That’s my great uncle.” Hiroto explained while getting closer, “I’ve never met him but Nee-san showed me a picture of him holding her when she was little. She said he taught her to make flowers with napkins.”
His attention then turned to a box nearby, and he started rummaging through it.
“Hey look!” he exclaimed, turning around with a pirate hat on his head.
The hat looked a lot like a real one, with a big red feather and a golden rim, but it was clearly too big for Hiroto’s head and almost fell on his eyes. He didn’t seem bothered by it though, and smiled brightly, happy with his finding.
Tatsuya thought it suited him, because it was unusual, bold, it caught the eye immediately. Just like Hiroto.
“It looks good on you.”
“Everything looks good on me.” Hiroto said proudly with one hand on his hip and the other holding the light towards his face.
He then turned back to the box and kept searching inside, before coming out with a weird fuzzy head-sized ring.
“And here’s one for you!”
Tatsuya looked at the thing, confused.
“What is it?” he asked.
Hiroto handed him the thing he found. It was made of white feathers and had little beads in it.
“Nee-san’s old swan princess crown from when she did ballet.” Hiroto smirked mischievously, “She was terrible at it.”
Tatsuya looked at the swan princess crown.
“Definitely a castle.” he thought.
Hiroto came closer and gently put the crown on Tatsuya’s head. It was the perfect size.
“It looks more like an angel than a swan on you.” Hiroto mentioned, then shrugged, “Doesn’t matter, let’s see what else we can find!”
And he went back to exploring.
Tatsuya reached out to touch the crown on his head, light and fuzzy white feathers.
“An angel.” he repeated softly, looking at Hiroto who seemed to be glowing under the blueish light of the moon coming through the tiny window.
They didn’t find any ghosts, but to be fair, they quickly forgot this was why they went to the attic in the first place.
After the hats, they found more things to play with, old dolls that became Hiroto’s pirate crew, an umbrella he used as a sword, a blue curtain they pretended was a big wave. And with his fuzzy white crown, Tatsuya was the wind pushing the ship that was the old couch.
It was messy, loud, colorful, and even the darkness of the night couldn’t make it feel less lively. It was the most fun Tatsuya had in weeks! The first time he smiled in weeks! Because for once, it was a world he wanted to be in. Hiroto’s world.
Going back to Sun Garden the next day was a cruel call back to reality.
Tatsuya didn’t get caught or anything, he came back to the dorm without any issue, and didn’t even feel too tired despite how little he slept.
But he missed Hiroto already.
“Is that for me?”
Hitomiko nodded, “It’s for tonight. You’re invited to a special party.”
Tatsuya looked at the fancy child-sized suit on his bed. Nice grey pants and jacket, and a brand new white shirt. He had seen adults wear suits like that, but he didn’t know they existed in his size.
“Just me?” he asked.
Why was he invited to a special party?
“Yes, you’re Hiroto-kun’s special guest.”
Hiroto.
His name alone made Tatsuya’s heart beat in excitement.
Hiroto invited him to a party. Hiroto wanted to see him again.
“Tatsuya! I’m so glad you came!”
Hiroto threw his arms around Tatsuya’s neck the moment he stepped out of the car. He smelled like bubblegum. And he was so warm, it felt like hugging the Sun…
Tatsuya was at the castle again, but he didn’t cross through the forest on foot this time, instead a car went to pick him up and drove around the forest to the entrance where Hiroto was waiting for him.
He was also wearing a child-sized suit, but his was black instead of grey. It let his hair stand out. He looked like a prince.
“Come on, it already started!”
Hiroto grabbed Tatsuya’s hand and dragged him inside.
And suddenly, Tatsuya was in a completely different world again.
They were in a ballroom, like in movies, there was music played by real musicians, the chandelier was all lit up, flowers decorating pillars that supported indoor balconies, big red curtains on the windows, and so, so many people, all dressed in nice suits and dresses!
How was this not a fairy tale castle?!
“Close your mouth before you start to drool.” Hiroto teased him, making Tatsuya blush, “Come on, I’ll show you the buffet.”
“We can have sweets first?” Tatsuya asked in awe.
Hiroto nodded proudly while adding a third cake slice to his plate.
“It’s my favorite thing at those parties, you can eat whatever you want.” he explained.
Tatsuya looked at the long table covered in delicious looking food. He had never seen so many deserts at once, and he didn’t even have to eat his vegetables first!
Hesitantly, he took a small round pink sweet and took a bite, and his eyes widened. It was crunchy and fluffy at the same time! And it was so sweet!
“Tastes good, right?” Hiroto asked, “Try this too!”
He started shoving more and more colorful sweets on Tatsuya’s plate.
“I don’t think I can eat all of that…”
“Yes you can.”
The plate was so full it was hard not to let anything fall to the floor.
“It’s a desert mountain!” Hiroto laughed, a light and melodious laugh that completely overshadowed the music of the ballroom.
The boys took their plates upstairs, to the inside balconies where they could see everything from above. It was so weird, the people looked so small!
“Are you having fun?” Hiroto asked.
Tatsuya quickly chewed and swallowed the bite of cake he just took, and turned with a big smile
“Yes!”
Hiroto sighed for some reason, and sat down, letting his legs hang over the edge through the fancy bars of the decorated railing, his plate full of cake slices beside him.
Tatsuya sat with him, also putting his plate aside. It was a little scary to have his feet not touch the ground while being so high up, even if there was no way he could fall through the bars, but with Hiroto beside him, the fear was quickly overshadowed by a sense of calmness.
They could still hear the music but not as much, the voices of the people talking among each other didn’t reach that high, even Hiroto was calmer than usual, staring down at the ball with a distant look and the lights of the chandelier reflecting in his eyes.
“You know, I hate those parties.” Hiroto said calmly, “They’re nice at first, but they quickly get boring. It’s just adults talking about adult stuff and showing off their children. Not that my dad ever showed me off…”
There was something sad in his voice that Tatsuya couldn’t quite make out, but instead of asking, he kept listening carefully.
“But this time, you’re here.” Hiroto continued, “It’s the first time I get to invite a friend, especially someone who isn’t a business partner’s son. It’s not nearly as fun as playing in the attic though, there’s not much to do except eat, so I was worried you’d get bored and that you wouldn’t want to visit me anymore…”
Now he voice was cracking a bit, and his eyes were shinning even more from tears forming.
Tatsuya looked down at the party.
It was big, loud, it had amazing food, and lights and colors everywhere, a contrast to Hiroto’s grey hair and dull pink eyes, no matter how beautiful they were. Just like Tatsuya’s bright red hair made him stand out among the colorless lens through which he saw Sun Garden.
Maybe that was why they got along, they both felt out of place in their own world.
But instead of floating around aimlessly like Tatsuya did, Hiroto kept moving on, he smiled to no one in particular, he played by himself, he spoke his mind, he shone like a star, a light in the dark void of the night.
A star Tatsuya wanted to orbit around. A world he wanted to be a part of.
“Of course I’ll keep visiting. It’s the first time I have a friend too.” Tatsuya said.
Hiroto looked up to him in surprise, and a smile formed on his face. Not the bright, proud, almost arrogant smile he usually had. A soft smile, warm and light, that made him squint just a little bit while the unshed tears still reflected the lights of the party in his eyes.
Breathtaking.
“Then…” Hiroto wiped the tears off, “Do you want me to teach you football? I never had anyone to play with.”