Chapter Text
It was that time of year again. That time when the school’s annual dance rolled around. Toya hated it. He hated the dance. He hated having to reject the girls that would ask him.
It felt awful, having to tell someone that he didn’t feel the same way. The sad expressions that would encroach on their faces? God.
So this year Toya told himself that the first person to ask him he’d go with. It’d be easier to tell someone that he already had a date rather than just outright say he didn’t want to go with them.
So that’s exactly what he did. The first girl to approach him was a girl with long hair tied back into a ponytail. “Hey, Aoyagi, I have a question…”
Toya braces himself, knowing exactly what she was going to ask. He knew his girl. Yuri, was her name. She was quite well known around the school. Many extracurriculars, many awards won, all AP classes.
Maybe of all people to ask him to go to the dance, Yuri wasn’t the worst option.
Who the hell did that girl think she was? Akito rolls his eyes. Asking out a guy you barely talk to is pathetic, and he would know. School dance enthusiasts pissed him off.
Whatever. It’s not like it was any of his business.
“Uh, Shinonome, was it?” The kid sitting next to him turns to face him. “Are you alright?”
Akito realizes he’d been wearing an irritated look on his face and quickly corrects himself. “Uh, sorry. I guess I was just lost in my thoughts.” He takes in the man’s appearance.
The boy had split blue hair, grey eyes, and a mole under his right eye. He was probably popular amongst his peers.
Though he doesn’t seem like the kind of person to enjoy it, at least at a first glance.
“So, Aoyagi, was it?” The boy across from him nods. “I don’t think we've really talked much all year. Sorry about that.”
“No worries.” Aoyagi shakes his head. “And you can just call me Toya.”
Akito’s brows furrow slightly. Huh? We’re just now talking for the first time and he already thinks we’re on a first name basis? Despite what this thought might tell you, Akito was perfectly fine with it. More than fine, actually. A weird feeling emerges from his stomach. And on his face. And his neck. And, god, was he blushing?
“Y- You can just call me Akito then.” He bashfully turns away, a stupid smile on his face.
His voice is really nice.
The bell rings as both boys stand. Toya gathers his things as he turns to Akito. "Would you like my phone number?"
Akito blinks.
"Uh, yeah."
Akito freezes as Toya stares at him confused. "Oh, yeah, sorry." Akito chuckles nervously. He hands his phone to Toya who types his number in.
"Alright, I have to get to my English class. I'll see you later?" Toya asks, slinging his bag over his shoulders.
"Yeah. I, uh—"
Toya was already making his way out the door. He—
"Wait! Toya!"
Toya turns back to face Akito, confused.
"Do you want to eat lunch together?"
Toya sits in his English class tapping the end of his pen to his notebook. Normally he never spaced out. He was typically very attentive.
But not right now.
He's sat with his head propped up by his palm, daydreaming. Akito seemed like a nice guy, and a good friend.
Toya got a weird fuzzy feeling in his stomach while talking to him. It was a little unusual at first, but it wasn't necessarily a bad feeling. Hm.
Maybe it was just because he'd made a connection.
Akito seemed nice.
Really nice.
One repeated in Akito's head over and over as he dodged and threw balls to the opposing team.
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
Whether it was because dodge balls were being hurled at him or because of that feeling he had when he was with Toya, he didn't know. He'll, it could very well be both.
Akito hadn't felt that way in a long time. That flushed feeling? Fuck, Akito's glad that he's not around Toya right now.
And the whole phone number ordeal? FUCK he'd embarrassed himself. What the hell was wrong with him?
Sure, Toya was pretty, and proper, and kind, and —
NO.
Akito had JUST started talking to Toya today.
No.
No no no no no no no no.
There. That settles it.
A dodgeball hits Akito in the arm, hard. "You're out Shinonome!"
He scoffs.
Whatever.
...but to be fair him sitting down was probably for the best.
Toya smiles as he walks out of his English. That fuzzy feeling was still with him. Akito might become a really good friend of his... this is so exciting!
Yuri approaches Toya, linking her arms with his as she smiles sweetly. "Hi."
Toya blinks as all the feelings of warmness and fuzziness disapates. What?
"Oh, hello Yuri." He says, tone cold, but not rude. "What's up?"
"Nothing, I just thought I'd come see my boy-friend before our lunch period!"
Toya's brows furrows ever so slightly, boyfriend? I don't remember agreeing to that.
"Uh-huh..." Toya nods slowly, plastering on a fake smile. "Yes."
Yuri's smile wides as she starts to pull Toya along to the lunch room, still linking arms.
Akito sits with his eyes glued to the entrance of the cafeteria, waiting for Toya to walk in.
However, when he does, he's with Yuri. Looking very uncomfortable Akito may add.
"I'll be right back An." He stands, ignoring An's calls and questions.
"Heyyy, Toya." Akito waves as he walks up to the pair.
A wave of relief washes over Toya, knowing that Akito's here to save him. Oh, that's a little harsh, Toya thinks to himself.
"Hello Akito." He smiles, "Oh right, we're eating together today. Where do you sit?"
Akito grabs Toya's hand as he starts to pull him away but Yuri grabs Toya's other hand. "Toya, where are you going?" She pouts.
"Oh, my apologies Yuri but I told Akito that I would be eating with him today. I'll talk to you later though."
"Oh, alright."
Akito pulls Toya away, jolting him a bit as he slips out of Yuri's grasp.
As his eyebrows shoot up, Toya let's Akito pull him along.
"Sorry, that was harsh I just don't like her." Akito admits. "But I sit over here."
He sits down across from An and next to Nene, "Oh, hello. Shiraishi and Kusanagi, correct?"
An nearly does a spit take, turning to Akito. "Dude, you didn't tell me you were bringin' fuckin' Aoyagi over here!"
"And what about it?" Akito asks, "He's my new... friend."
Toya's fuzzies came back.
"He rejected three of my friends last year! They were all devastated!" An places her hands on ghe table as she turns to Toya, the trace of an angry look on her face.
Toya's lip quivers, "I'm so sorry, I just don't..." Toya doesn't know what to say. He's never actually been in love with someone, but he doesn't want to have to explain that.
They were in high school. People would be so confused if they found out Toya had never dated someone. At least that's what was going through his head.
Toya places a hand on his chest. "I apologize for hurting your friends feelings, and I'm very sorry if I caused any if you discomfort. That wasn't my intention and it's never my intention to hurt others."
An blinks, suprised. "Wow, so it's not just an act for the teachers?"
Toya cocks his head, opening his eyes. "Excuse me?"
"Or are you just trying to get me to like you."
The blue haired boy pauses, trying to find the words. "I don't—"
"Save it. Your words mean nothing without actions. You'll have to prove to me that you aren't some total asshole."
"An!" Akito exclaims, "Shut the fuck up! Toya's just, like this, okay!?"
"Akito I am very loyal to my friends—"
"I'm one of your friends, right?"
An's breath hitches. "Yes. Of course you are. One of my best."
"Then be loyal to me. Trust me. Okay?"
They all stay quiet before Nene pipes up, suprising the other three because they had forgotten she was there.
"Aoyagi does actually act like that. I'd gotten paired with him for math studies one time." She says without looking up from her phone. "I'm serious, Shiraishi."
An turns to Toya, her expression softening a tad. "Aoyagi."
"You can just call me Toya." His voice is quiet.
"You're not a bad guy, right?" An questions. Toya stays quiet as he looks down, tappping his fingers against his thigh.
"An, look what you've done." Akito glares at her.
"Akito, I didn't mean—"
Toya drowns the two our as he tries to find a way to respond. He of course didn't expect Akito's friends to imideatly accept him, but he didn't think he'd be treated like this.
Maybe it was Karma for all the people he had unintentionally hurt. In all situations, too.
Maybe this was the world trying to tell him something.
"—but An you can't just—"
Toya inhales through his nose as he looks up, meeting An's gaze. "I apologize for instigating a fight between you two, it wasn't my goal. I talked to Akito for the first real time today and I felt I had a real connection with him. I understand if you don't like me based on things I've done in the past, but I hope you can come to accept me as a person."
An sits speechless, blinking in suprise. "I... uh... I— A– Aoyagi this is..." She looks away for a moment, trying to collect herself. "Yes. Just... yes. But I'm going to figure out what's up with you."
Toya gives a small smile. "Well alright then."
Akito and Toya walk out of the building together when Yuri stops them, trying to grab Toya's attention.
"Toya, can you walk me home?" She asks, grabbing his hand.
"Oh, I..." He turns to Akito who just takes a step to the side. "Okay." He frowns slightly.
Akito takes notice of this, but decides not to comment on it as Toya and his 'girlfriend' walk away.
Toya :]
Toya: :Akito
hey, you okay?
you didnt seem too excited when Yuri asked you to walk her home.
Akito patiently (lie) awaits Toya's response, tapping his foot on the ground as he spins in his chair, ignoring the homework that sits on his desk.
Oh, hello Akito.
Thank fuck he responded.
Uhm, I suppose I just wanted to walk home with you. I've enjoyed today far more than any day in the past few years it feels like, and I think it's because of you.
Akito sits with his eyes wide. How the fuck was he supposed to respond to that?
oh wow
thanks, I really enjoyed today too :)
we should hang out more often
Agreed.
Ena walks into Akito's room, "I need a charger."
Akito ignores her, "Ena look at this." He shows her his texts with Toya.
She hones in on the small paragraph Toya had sent, eyebrows raising. "Holy shit."
"I know."
"Is he gay?"
Akito just shrugs. "I mean, he has a girlfriend."
Ena cocks her head to the side as she closes her eyes, "Hard to believe any heterosexual man would say that to another man but okay."
"Ena!"
"I'm JOKINGGGG, you're no fun."
"Shut the fuck up."
"Okay, Mister 'We should hang out more often'." Ena mocks.
"Ena!"
The weeks before the dance pass as Toya and Akito grow closer as a pair. Yuri is not too fond of this and Akito has a growing suspicion that she's actively trying to keep Toya away from him.
This passes Akito off for obvious reasons.
But it also annoys someone else...
"—and she just... it feels like she's trying to keep me away from you." Toya confesses while him and Akito sit on the roof of the school.
"Oh yeah, that's totally what's happening." Akito nods, taking a bite out if his sandwich as he stares out at the sky.
Toya sighs, "Thank goodness I'm not the only one who's seen it." The two sit in silence for a bit, but it was a comfortable silence.
Toya breaks it however, turning to face Akito. "Do you know what it feels like to be in love?"
Alito blinks in suprise, "W- What...?" He nods slowly, but is a bit nervous. "Yeah, a time or two. Why?"
"What does it feel like?" Toya asks, "Because I don't think... I don't feel..." The older didn't know why his hands were shaking. There was nothing to be nervous about, to his knowledge.
"You...?" Akito pushes on.
"I don't think I'm in love with Yuri."
Akito wants to be suprised but he's anything but. Toya always looked so uncomfortable around Yuri, and she wasn't always the nicest person...
"Woah." Akito's mouth hangs open a bit.
"And I've never been in love before, not that I can recall."
That sentence hits Akito like a bullet. Over these past few weeks, Akito's finally accepted his feelings towards Toya.
The older would always get flustered when Akito poked fun at him, or stare at his from across rooms, but that didn't mean anything. But Akito would also get flustered due to Toya.
It felt like a mutual thing, but Akito didn't expect Toya to like him back. He'd come to terms with that.
What really hurt was that Toya had never given his love to anyone. And Akito didn't know that.
"Well, that's fine too." Akito shrugs. "Y'don't have to fall in love. It's not a required part of life. Like, aromantic is a thing I think? One of my friends is aromantic."
"I don't think that's it, because I still wish to be in a relationship in the future. Just, not with Yuri." Toya rests his head in his hands, elbows on his knees. "Just, how would you describe the feeling?"
Akito inhales, then exhales. "Well,
I can't speak for you, but I know I can speak for myself when I say that when I... fall in love with someone... I get these like, fuzzy feelin's and whatnot. I just, want to be around them all the time, and I always get flustered near them."
"But I don't feel that way for any girls." Toya sighs.
This may have been an offhanded comment for Toya, but for Akito? Oh boy.
"Any girls?"
Toya sits up, shifting his body to face Akito. "Yeah, I've only ever felt this way around—"
His breath hitches. His eyes go wide. His body freezes. Oh my god.
"Toya?" Akito waves a hand in front of his face. "Toya you good man?"
"I need to go." Toya slings his back over his shoulder as he gathers his things. "Thank you for your help."
"Wait, Toya!" Akito calls out.
But Toya's already running down the stairs.
It can't be that, right? I'd never even considered the fact that I could like men. Is that what it is? Am I gay?
...
No, that doesn't make sense. I'm dating a girl.
"I don't think I'm in love with Yuri." His own words reverberate in his head.
Maybe I'm just making things up. Akito did say that's just how he felt.
Yeah. That's got to be it.
Oh who am I kidding.
Akito sits curled up in his bed, his outfit layed out at the foot of it. He'd been trying not to cry, rubbing his eyes 'till they were raw and red.
"Akito! Hurry up! If you want me to drive you you have to get downstairs fast!" Ena bangs on his door.
"Shut up Ena! I'm not going!" He yells back.
"Like hell you're not going...!" She slams her brother's door open, face imideatly softening when she sees him. "Akito..."
"Go away." He rolls over to face away from Ena. "I's none of you're business." He grumbles.
"I think it is if you're acting like this." She crosses her arms. "What happened?"
"I did something stupid and Toya like, ran form me." He groans. "I'm so pissed at myself."
"Why'd he run?" Ena shifts her weight onto her right foot.
"I dunno... he asked me what it was like to be in love—"
"Wait, pause." Ena puts her hands up, "Doesn't he have a girlfriend?"
"Yeah, but he doesn't love her." He says as if it's common knowledge. He continues, "but I told him about like, that fuzzy feeling and whatnot and when I finished talking he froze up and his eyes went wide."
"Sounds like he had an epiphany." Ena shrugs.
Akito rolls over to face her letting his arm hang off the bed. "What do you mean?"
"Think about it. Why would he run if he didn't have those feelings?"
"I- I dunno."
Ena pauses, "Listen, I'm not sayin' he's one hundred percent in love with you, but what I am saying is I think you should talk to him."
"...I'd have to do it tonight at the dance."
"Then get dressed and get your ass downstairs." Ena walks out of his room, shutting the door behind her.
Toya stands at An's door, fidgeting with his fingers as he waits. An opens the door, confused that he's here so early.
"Toya? Why are you—"
"Did you figure it out before me?"
An blinks. "What?"
"You said that– that you were going to figure me out. Did you figure it out before I did?"
An's shoulders drop a bit. "Well, it depends what you're talking about."
"I'm in love with Akito."
"God, I'm going to fuck this up, God, I'm—"
Ena lightly hits Akito on the shoulder with the back of her hand. "You're gonna be fine. Now get out of the car."
Akito sighs as he exits the car.
"Good luck."
"Bye, Ena."
He just had to make his way inside.
"Toya, thank you so much for bringing me here!" Yuri walks into the spruce up gymnasium, hand in hand with Toya. "I'm so happy that we get to do this together
"Uh-huh." Toya nods. "Yeah."
An follows the two in from behind, "Why didn't Akito come to my house?" She asks Toya. "You didn't answer me earlier."
"O- Oh he told me he went home to help his sister with something." He lies. "Uhm... yeahhh."
An had a sneaking suspicion that that wasn't the truth. Toya hadn't told her how he figured out he was in love, but whatever happened...?
Well, it must've been something.
Toya's eyes land on Akito who's standing across the room. He didn't have to be close to see how... pretty he looked.
"Toya why don't we go grab some refreshments?" Yuri offers, though it's clearly a way to get away from An."
Toya turns bsck to face her, but the starry haired girl just shrugs. "Uh, would you like anything An?" He asks.
An seems to know where this is going, that Toya would have to come back if she said yes. "Uh, yeah. Just a water if that's alright."
"Okay, fine. Toya let's—"
"Actually I'll just come with you."
Yuri scowls.
This was going to be a long night.
When one would look, the other would turn away. Longing stares accompanied by the anxiety of going to talk to one another.
What could they do?
"Toya."
"Toya."
"Toya."
Toya snaps out of his daze, turning to An. "Yes?"
"Go talk to him." She whispers. "I'll keep Yuri over here at bay."
"Are you sure?"
An just nods.
"I'm nervous."
"So is he." She points to Akito who's talking to Nene, hunched over and fidgeting.
Toya's face softens. "Alright. I'm going to do it.
He starts to walk over, but, "Toya!" Yuri calls. "Where are you—"
"Let me show you something cool, girl to girl." An turns her around and walks her in the other direction.
Toya stands behind Akito, trying to find the courage to day something.
He can't find it though, so instead he just taps his shoulder.
This scared Akito, who jumps just a little as he turns around. "Hey!— Toya." His eyes go wide.
"Akito."
The two stand on the room, happy to be out of that stuffy gymnasium. "So." Toya wrings his hands. "I'm sorry for running out earlier. It was unexpected and I should have given a real reason. It's just that at the time—"
"It's not a big deal, I understand—"
"—I didn't know how to say it—"
"—I was just too upfront about me—"
The two both pauses before laughing, majority of the tension melting away. "You go first." Akito says.
"No you, I insist." Toya shakes his head.
"Oh, alright." Akito runs a hand through his hair as he turns away, hoping the sunset was hiding his pink cheeks.
"Ever since that first day that we talked, I've gotten that fuzzy and flushed feeling. The one I was telling you about. And every single time I was around you, or thought of you, it would just... reappear, just like that."
Akito exhales, "So there. I'm sorry if this made you uncomfortable."
Toya smiles, "Akito I feel the exact same way."
Akito looks up. "What?"
"Since the very beginning too." He chuckles. "I think... I'm in love with you. That's why I ran. I panicked."
Akito's eyes go wide, "R- Really?" He takes a step forward. "And you aren't joking?"
Toya shakes his head side to side.
Akito cups Toya's face in his hands. "Can I...?"
"Of course."
Akito's smile widens and he pulls Toya in, their lips meeting for the first time as the wind whistles past them.
They both felt like they were on the top of the world, both physically and mentally.
The kiss was soft, but it was everything Akito could have imagined and hoped for.
Toya never thought he'd get to experience a kiss like this. One he loved. One he wished would last forever.
But Akito pulls away, beaming. "I love you Toya."
"I love you too, Akito."