Archive of Our Own

What If
Beth/Rip
Summary: When she got pregnant at fourteen, her brother did the right thing and told their father. She was taken to the planned parenthood in town. She had a proper abortion. Two decades later, they finally get the baby they wanted. Brought into the world in the best way possible.

Beth woke suddenly with a sharp pain in her back, shooting down her pelvis, into her lower stomach. She tried to breath through it, as Rip’s hand naturally covered her belly in his sleep. Moving closer to her back, as he felt her try to shift. The heat and pressure from his hand normally stopped the uncomfortable braxton contractions or slight cramping. For a moment it did. Her body slowly calmed, as she let her eyes flutter closed. Her heart slowly calmed, as she focused on the sound of his steady breathing in her ear. She was almost asleep again, until the pain shot through her again, stronger, deeper. “Rip…,” she exhaled, not sure whether to wake him or not. She felt him move behind her, his breathing changing slightly. His arm covering her a little more. Again, the pain quickly subsided. She tried to calm the building anxiety in her chest. She tried to release the tension slowly taking over her body. She experienced false labor twice already. The same pain coursing through her body, and it was nothing. They called the midwife, had everyone panicked, and they eventually stopped. She wasn’t dilated at her last doctor’s appointment. The midwife checked her three days ago, nothing. But as she tried to relax against Rip’s arm, she felt a gush of fluid cover her thighs, and she suddenly couldn’t breath. “Baby, wake up,” she gasped, pushing his arm off her body to force him out of whatever deep sleep he’d slipped into. He’d gotten so used to her moving during the night, he barely woke most of the time anymore. Unless she called for him, he stayed asleep. Not tonight. The moment she pushed him away, he was awake, caressing her arm. Asking her what was wrong. “Ahhh…shit,” she groaned, as another stronger contraction flowed through her body. She wasn’t in false labor anymore, her daughter was coming.

Rip could feel her moving against him. He could feel her groaning. It wasn’t until he felt her shove his arm away that he was suddenly wide awake. That wasn’t a normal response. He was used to her having false labor. He was used to her being sore and uncomfortable, she never pushed him away. She leaned in. “Honey…,” he whispered, sitting enough to see her face. She was slightly flushed, a few tears trying to run down her cheek. Her eyes were closed, as she tried to calm herself. “Just breathe, I’m right here,” he muttered low in her ear, feeling her finally push back against him, letting out a whimper in response. He rubbed his hand across her belly, and felt a tension he hadn’t felt before they fell asleep.

She had to wait for the intense pain to subside, before she reached for his hand. Swallowing hard as her mouth went drive. She didn’t know how to tell him they messed up, her dad was right, they should have kept their asses at home. She saw the look on his face when she climbed in the truck. She saw the concern, like he felt something coming, she hadn’t sensed yet. “My water broke…,” she sighed into the dark. It was exactly what her father was worried about. He even had Monica making sure she really was feeling normal the day before they left. It wasn’t what she planned. How was her midwife gonna make it to the ranch in time to help him? How was she gonna climb back in the truck? Just as those thoughts started taking over, another contraction hit harder. “Fuck…,” she groaned against his palm, as he tried to caress her cheek. She didn’t know what else to say, nor would her brain allow her the time to sort out how she felt, as a sharp pain hit her pelvis.

Rip felt the tension in her back. He felt the wetness against her thighs, as her hand began to wander. He could feel her heart pounding in her neck. Her anxiety skyrocketing, before he even had a chance to control it. They were supposed to have another month. Beth was a planner since she stopped drinking, stopped taking random pills from a shrink he still thought they should sue. She had a plan, and a back up plan. She had everything written down just in case. She had her bag ready for over a month. She didn’t like when things didn’t go the way she anticipated, he realized that quickly throughout her pregnancy. Surprises weren’t something she appreciated recently. He hoped the midwife had enough time to make it from the reservation, if not, it would be him and Monica delivering his daughter. The woman had volunteered multiple times. She helped delivered more babies than he had, and Beth trusted her. He at least had that plan in the back of his mind, as he shoved the blanket away, and pushed himself up. “I gotcha, sweetheart,” he said softly, trying to keep her as calm as possible. There was no need to cause her to panic, when there was nothing they could do to stop it. “Come on, let’s get in the truck,” he encouraged, climbing to his feet, and gently helping his wife try to sit up. He could send Kaycee to get there stuff later, he didn’t care. But as she tried climbing to her feet, she jerked away, grabbing her stomach, and crying out. He could easily carry her if he had too, but he didn’t want to have to. He didn’t want to risk hurting her.

Beth couldn’t help put pull away, as another contraction hit, and she felt her daughter move. When she felt him try to gently take her hand again, she pushed it away again. “Stop…,” she exhaled, trying to catch her breath, as the pain disappeared quickly. There was no way she could get in the truck, she could breath, without feeling pain shoot down her back. Her thighs were already trembling, likely from adrenaline, but there was no way she could support her own weight. He couldn’t lift her without causing her more pain. “I can’t,” she muttered, turning into him, as she felt him kneel behind her. Running a hand down her back. Not saying anything, just letting her know he was there. That was really all she needed, to start calming herself. The rational part of her brain slowly overtaking the overbearing pain. Her hand trailed between her legs, forcing herself not to panic, as she felt her daughter’s head had already dropped. It was too late to leave. It was too late to call for help. Their baby was coming, and there was nothing they could do to stop it. “She’s not gonna make it,” she said steadier than she felt. Grabbing his hand, letting his fingers feel what had just clicked in her own brain. Hearing the catch in his breath, as he whispered it was gonna be okay. She was scared, but the Dutton blood running through her veins wouldn’t let fear control what she knew she had to do. She didn’t want to move away from her husband, but her back burned so badly, she couldn’t help turning to lay back against his saddle bag. She could already feel their daughter beyond the point of crowning. She was coming and she was coming much faster than the doctor or midwife prepared her for.

Rip felt she was completely dilated. His daughter already almost here. He didn’t know if it was denial, or fear for Beth, that made him continue to try and get her to move. He knew she couldn’t. He knew it was too late. But he didn’t want her to feel trapped or stuck. If she wanted to try to get home, they would. He just wanted to make sure he was doing the right thing. “We gotta get you to the hospital, sweetheart,” he whispered, just trying to give her the option. Was he terrified, yes. Would he deliver his baby, without help, if he had to, yes. He needed her to decide.

Beth was only going to the hospital if she was bleeding out and her baby needed assistance. She wasn’t going if it wasn’t needed, and he knew that. She’d rather give birth by the river on her father’s property, than the supposedly sterile, restrictive hospital room. “She’s not waiting for the hospital,” she said with her normal sharp edge, catching his full attention. The hospital was two hours away, she didn’t have twenty minutes. She’d never make it. They’d just have to stop, and he’d have to help her in the truck. It wasn’t worth the risk, when they could send a text to Kaycee, and have him come to them. He wouldn’t make it in time to help, but he could call an airlift if something happens by the time he arrived. “We won’t make it back to the house,” she said a little softer, but not by much. She didn’t mean to sound so angry and frustrated, but it was like he wasn’t getting it. There was nothing they could do. She fucked up begging to come out here. She knew he would never tell her no. He promised if she ever wanted a few days away, they’d go. He hadn’t broken that promise since he made it three years ago, and she doubted he ever would. “You’re gonna have to do it,” she finally said out loud. Her eyes meeting his, as the throb in her hips stopped. She needed him to help her through it. She needed him ready to cut their daughter’s cord and clear her nose and mouth. She needed him to make sure she started to breathe on her own. She would be fine, her body knew exactly what to do, their baby’s didn’t.

He at least wanted to get her back to the ranch. They had help if something went wrong. Kaycee could have an airlift on standby. Monica would gladly play midwife, while he comforted and supported Beth. He didn’t like the idea of being so far from medical intervention. “Beth…,” he tried softly, knowing it was in vain, but waiting to see what her final answer would be. She changed her mind all the time, that’s what he was worried about. He was also concerned his daughter was a month early. What if she couldn’t breath on her own?

“Shit…,” she cried out, as another bout of pain tore through her. It was better now that she wasn’t laying on her side, but it still felt like fire burning through her veins. It felt like her blood was boiling and her skin was chilled at the same time. The back of her neck was covered in sweat, causing goosebumps to cover her chest. She tried not grinding her back teeth. She tried not biting her bottom lip. All she had left, to release the pressure, was her mouth. “You delivered more calves than that doctors delivered babies,” she commented, as the realization finally set in. His hand still gently stroked her inner thigh. He still continued whispering encouraging words in her ear, that she barely heard. He still didn’t move to catch their daughter.

Cows and his wife were far from the same thing, he didn’t know how she found the comparison. He was terrified he was about to witness the love of his life die in front of him. They were supposed to have the midwife to make sure everything was progressing as it should. They were supposed to have her doctor on standby just in case. They weren’t supposed to be in a field about to deliver their baby on their own. He wasn’t worried about his daughter, he was worried about Beth. He had no problem catching his baby, coaching her through it, but if anything went wrong, they were thirty minutes from the ranch, almost two hours from Bozeman. He wasn’t sure she’d make it, if something went wrong. “If something happens…,” was all he had time to say, as she cried out again.

Something WAS gonna happen if he didn’t help her. Their daughter would die. She could die. If they both miraculously survived, she didn’t know if she could forgive him. She didn’t know if she could trust him again, when she was giving it all to him now. “She’s coming whether you help me or not,” she said with a little more bite than she meant, but she needed him to get it. She needed him to stop trying to get her to move, and get ready to catch their baby. Could she physically do it alone, yes. She could deliver their daughter on her own, but she didn’t want to. He promised to help her through it. He swore she wouldn’t feel alone; but she was beginning to feel that way when he didn’t move. He was frozen trying to figure out what to do. What was best for her. What would keep her alive. But she needed him to move. “Ahhh...fuck,” she cried, as a contraction ripped through her back and pelvis without warning. Her fingers digging into the leather bag behind her. Her bare feet trying to find purchase on the blanket beneath her. She couldn’t help dropping her head back, as the pain went up her spine. “You promised….” she hadn’t meant to say the words out loud, but his hesitation wasn’t helpful, it wasn’t reassuring, it was terrifying.

Beth could feel she was minutes from giving birth. Her contractions were coming fast and hard. It felt like her back was being ripped in half. That’s why she wanted an epidural, if she had to go to the hospital. But she wanted to try to deliver at home. She wanted the calm and peace home provided. She didn’t want the sterilization of the hospital. She didn’t want her baby clean by strange nurses, when she was more than capable of doing the same thing. Women gave birth in fields and rivers on her father’s property long before their family owned it. She would be fine. It didn’t mean she wasn’t scared. It didn’t mean the pain was any less. It didn’t mean she didn’t need her husband like she hadn’t before. “Rip…,” she couldn’t help whimper, as the contraction subsided, but she knew another was building right behind it. She could already feel it.

That’s all it took to make him move. He never heard that sound come out of his wife. “I got it, baby,” he whispered against her forehead, just as the first wolf began howling. It was too close. That’s what he was really afraid of. They were too close to the Yellowstone National Park line. He knew it was possible the wolf pack would wander into the meadow every now and then. They never bothered anyone. Most of the time, they never even knew they were there. No one brought the herd out this far from the ranch. But there was always a possibility they would smell her blood. They would smell the vulnerability in the air. They would respond to his child’s first cry. He wasn’t afraid of delivering his daughter. She didn’t want to go to the hospital anyway. She WANTED to birth at home, with the midwife, and only go if something went wrong. Then her blood pressure started staying high. Their baby’s heart beat rising slightly. She was at high risk only due to her age, which was ridiculous in his opinion. But now, he wished they were in the hospital. He wanted to make sure Beth was okay. He was afraid of losing his wife. He was terrified something would happen, go wrong. Despite what she believed or hoped, she was not a heifer. Her body was not the same. If she started to bleed out, they may not make it even by airlift. He was scared, and wasn’t afraid to admit it. But he could also see the fear in her eyes. She was the one that was about to bring their daughter into the world. She was the one that was in danger and vulnerable. Looking to him for reassurance. To feel protected and support. He didn’t have time to be afraid.

“Get the rifle,” she exhaled, pushing on his shoulder to force him to move. She knew he wouldn’t have done it on his own. He didn’t want to leave her side for a second. She could see the reluctance, as he nuzzled her cheek, until the next wolf cry rang out. He nearly growled in frustration, before quickly pulling away, and running back to his truck. They had to be proactive. The gun was all they had against the pack clearly stalking something around the perimeter of the meadow. She just hoped it wasn’t her. “Oh, shit…,” she cried, but she still didn’t push. She wanted to. Her body was telling her to let it happen, but couldn’t until she had her husband back. Even with him in eye sight, she couldn’t calm herself enough to let her body do what it needed. It was the second time in their lives that she couldn’t do something alone. She couldn’t fight through the pain on her own. She couldn’t calm her breathing, she couldn’t remember anything the midwife tried to lecture into her stubborn brain. She needed him more than she had that night in her office.

Rip grabbed the gun, and flipped the spot light on in the truck. It wasn’t right in her face, but lit her enough for him to see what he was doing. Enough to see if any wolves stepped out into the meadow around them. He sent a text to Kaycee and John, hoping it went through, but knew it was unlikely. Laying the gun next to a tree close by, before going back to Beth. He could look at her, and tell she wasn’t gonna make it much longer. “All right, honey, just relax,” he whispered stronger than he felt, kneeling between her thighs, as he brushed the hair from her face. She was scared. For the first few minutes, telling him what to do, was covering how terrified she actually was. Watching cows give birth, is not the same as experiencing it. No amount of pamplets and doctors appointments could prepare anyone for giving birth unmedicated, at home, alone; when it wasn’t supposed to be that way. He didn’t have a choice but to stay steady, even if he didn’t feel it. As long as she felt he had control, that’s all that mattered.

He didn’t have to look to see how far his wife was from pushing their daughter into the world. Like she said, he delivered enough calves, he could do it blind folded. He went by feel, running his hand up her sticky thigh. She was more than crowning at that point. The small contractions she was able to breath though, were helping her more than she realized. “Push on the next one,” he encouraged softly, caressing her cheek, with a steady hand. Forcing his own body not to shake, not to waver. Swallowing hard, taking deep breaths through his nose, as his own anxiety slowly faded into the background. He could feel it, but knew it didn’t matter.

Thankfully, Beth had a moment of reprieve. Her fingers naturally dug into Rip’s shoulders. She tried to concentrate on the feeling of his lips on her cheek, running down her neck. His hand on the back of her neck. But the next contraction came hard and fast, causing her back to arch, as she tried to push her way through it. “Fuck…,” she couldn’t help but cry out. Bracing hard against the saddle bag behind her, until the pain slowly faded. She didn’t know why she thought giving birth at home, alone, would be easier. She didn’t know why she thought it would be less painful. The pain was the same. The anxiety felt the same. She regretted begging him to go for a ride, which now involved taking the truck to their spot. She should have stayed home, when her dad asked if she was sure it was a good idea. She felt fine before leaving yesterday morning. She wasn’t worried about giving birth in the woods. She was supposed to have another month. That’s what really terrified her. Why was she in labor now? What had she done? Was her daughter okay? Or did the doctor just get the dates wrong? “I’ll never bitch about the heifers crying ever again,” she whined, as Rip adjusted just enough to grab the folded towel and drape it over the rough edges of the saddle bag. Allowing her to lean back and freeing his hand to run heavy and slow up and down the outside of her thigh.

Rip didn’t know what she was talking about. He couldn’t remember hearing her complain about the cows crying, ever. She’d never been with him when they birthed cattle. Unless shew as bitching in her head and she never said the words out loud, that was always possible. “You’re doing just fine, honey,” he whispered low in her ear. Their daughter’s head was out. A few more minutes and it would all be over. “Almost there,” he nuzzled her ear, as she relaxed against the clean towel. He didn’t move away, even when she did. He maintained as much physical contact as he could. After twenty years, he knew that’s what comforted her the most. Hearing him didn’t mean anything. She needed to feel his skin, his warmth surrounding her. Even when he was silent, it was enough. “The next one’s gonna be worse,” he wasn’t trying to scare her, he was giving her a warning. Their daughter’s shoulders wouldn’t be easily working their way out with the small contractions she was experiencing. If he could make it easier for her, he would in a second, but all he could do was encourage her to keep going. If she stopped, if she couldn’t push anymore, he would have to pull their daughter from her body himself, and he didn’t want to do that. He wasn’t shown how to do that, and it couldn’t be anything like assisting a heifer. “Deep breath, and wait for the next contraction; you’re okay, baby,” he muttered, as she began to whimper and squirm again.

She could see the glistening eyes out across the meadow. She could hear the wolf calls echoing through the trees. Everything else had gone silent, like they were smarter than her, and took refuge long before the pack showed up. She was terrified. She’d never felt run through her blood so quickly. Being attacked in her office, couldn’t even be compared to how she felt now. It was easy for Rip to take on a man that had already ran out of energy from fighting her for over an hour. It wasn’t easy for him to take on an entire wolf pack if they were determined and hungry enough. “Rip…,” she could barely breathe, as the pain in her back suddenly ignited again. She couldn’t say anything else. Another contraction hit harder, faster than the last. Her pelvis was on fire. She felt like she was being ripped apart. “Ahhhh fuck,” she cried, pushing with everything she had. Rip wasn’t lying when he said it was gonna get worse. It was so much worse than she ever imagined. Thankfully, her husband never moved away. Not even for a second to see what he was doing. She could feel his fingers grazing her thigh every now and then, but he never moved. She felt his warmth around her, as the contraction slowly subsided.

Rip felt her shoulders slip into the palm of his hand, as the contraction passed, and Beth relaxed again. He knew it wouldn’t be for long. He could already feel the tension building in her thighs. “I gotcha, baby,” he muttered, as she turned into him. He tried to keep the hair out of her face, but every time she buried her face in his neck, it tangled in his beard anyway. He kissed her neck, blowing puffs of cool air over her heated skin. “Shoulders out,” he confirmed soothingly against her temple. He would also have a lot more sympathy the next time a heifer was crying out. It was the worst feeling in the world, listening to Beth scream and cry, whimper his name, and there was nothing he could do to bring her any relief. He couldn’t make it stop. He couldn’t change his mind and suddenly call the doctor. All he could do, was encourage her through it. For a man that fixed everything, it wasn’t enough, but it was all he had. “Deep breath, relax,” he said against her cheek, feeling her entire body trembling for a moment. The tears pouring down her face. Her cheeks and ears were flushed. The painful cries coming from his wife, made him regret not pushing for a better birth plan. He wished she could have the epidural now. “She’s almost here, sweetheart,” he whispered low in her ear, as she buried her face in his neck. Gripping his shoulders like she was terrified to let go. Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest, he had to swallow hard to push away his own concerns. He was worried for his wife. It was almost over. The worst of it was gone. But her body felt like it was on fire. He could feel the tears on his neck, as she whimpered. Her thighs trembled on either side of him, as she tried to dig her heels into the blanket. Her belly quivered with every harsh exhale. “One more push,” he softly encouraged, feeling his daughter slowly slipping from his wife’s body with every small contradiction she likely couldn’t feel at that point. The cord wasn’t around her neck. She was free to give that final push. He knew when the next big contraction was building. The fingers that were digging into his shirt and shoulders were suddenly gone. Her back arched, as she kicked the blanket away from her feet, and letting out a scream he’d never heard before.

Beth tried to breathe into her husband’s neck. She tried to forget about the burning fire in her back. She tried not to think about the wolves, as she dug her heels into the wet grass, and pushed with everything she had on the next contraction. Her fingers digging into the leather of his saddle bag. Screaming like she never had before. And like it never happened, the pain was gone. Feeling the pressure in her back and pelvis suddenly disappear, as her husband quickly moved to catch their daughter before she hit the blankets beneath her. For a moment, she was dizzy, couldn’t catch her breath, and her heart was pounding hard in her neck. Her thighs trembled, as a violent chill ran through her body. A cold sweat covered her skin, as she closed her eyes and let her body calm itself. She couldn’t reach for her husband. She couldn’t depend on his comfort and support in that moment. Their daughter needed him to clear her airway, to take her first breath. That’s all she cared about. She was waiting for her first cry to fill the silence.

Rip didn’t catch calves for a living, but he made sure to cradle his daughter like she was glass. He quickly cleaned her face with the t shirt he pulled over his head. Clearing her mouth. Carefully covering her nose and sucking gently, before tilting her and patting her back, doing exactly what the midwife showed him, just in case. Praying harder than he ever had before. “Come on, Charlotte,” he muttered, mostly to himself. Rubbing her chest and belly. Tapping her feet, and switching back to patting her back a little harder. Refusing to acknowledge the negative thoughts circling inside his head. Refusing to believe he lost their baby. He wouldn’t let her slip away.

Beth felt like her heart stopped, she felt the bile rising in her throat. Her skin was on fire like she’d never felt before. Her blood ran cold. She could already feel the tears burning behind her eyes. All she could do, was silently watch her perfectly steady husband work to get their daughter to take a breath. Clearing her mouth and nose. Cleaning her face. Rubbing her chest and hitting her back. She wasn’t responding. She was so pale, completely lifeless, she couldn’t help feeling panicked. “Rip…,” she almost whimpered, holding her breath as the silence drug on. She was told to be careful. She was told she was high risk. She was told to relax and stop putting so much stress on herself. Jamie was purposefully staying away from her, after they found out her blood pressure was so high at her last appointment. Lynelle hadn’t gone out of her way to try and play mother. John refused to talk to her about the ranch, unless it was about which new horse she liked the best. For the last six months, she couldn’t tell anyone anything that was going on with the business. She didn’t know what was going on in Texas with Jimmy and the horse sells. She didn’t know about the fight with the reservation. If she asked, no one would tell her anyway, so she stopped asking. Now she wished she’d listened and stopped moving so much. She wished she hadn’t tried to do more than they recommended.

Rip wasn’t panicked just yet. The more he rubbed his daughter’s back, tapped her feet, her color quickly started the change from pale, to beautifully light pink. He felt her muscles start to twitch. Her arm move just a little. “Just give her a second…,” he reassured, not looking at his wife’s face, because he knew exactly what he’d see, and it wasn’t necessary. He wouldn’t validate her fear, because he wouldn’t let it materilize. He wouldn’t let her lose another baby. Just when he heard another whimper leave Beth’s chest, Charolette’s little body tensed. He felt the deep inhale, and then her first cry broke through the silent meadow. Immediate relief flowing through his veins. He couldn’t help letting out a shaky sigh, as he gently lifted his daughter from the wet blanket she obviously didn’t appreciate. She was small, but she looked fine. “That’s my girl,” he muttered with more pride than he ever felt in his life. He tried to be quick, only cleaning her face with a wet warm rag to make sure her nose and mouth were clear. He’d let his wife do the rest, that’s how she wanted it anyway. He carefully placed her on Beth’s chest, watching in awe, as the tears slowly fell down her cheek. Their daughter slowly went quiet, as she felt her mother’s skin, smelled her scent. Immediately trying to curl her tiny legs, as if she were still in her mother’s womb. Beth’s arms covered her, nuzzling her nose into their newborns cheek. Breathing her in. If he thought his wife was beautiful before, there were no words to describe how he felt now.

Beth didn’t feel the panic settle, until her daughter’s warm body was laid against her chest. Her screams and cries slowly settling, as her hands covered her. She couldn’t help nuzzling her warm cheek. Silently listening to each deep breath. Feeling it ghost across her face. She felt a warmth she’d never felt before. A magnetic pull that was nothing like she had with Rip. It was as if part of her soul had been ripped out, and handed back her. She couldn’t let it go. She couldn’t run away if someone had a gun to her head. She couldn’t even look away from her daughter’s face, let alone leave her. She felt so much love for the small girl they managed to create, it almost hurt. She didn’t try to hold the tears, as the feeling intensified. She was so small, so innocent, and perfect. “My sweet girl,” she muttered, kissing her baby’s cheek, as she squirmed from her chest to her shoulder. Kissing her tiny hand, as she grazed her chin. She didn’t care about anything else, but the baby in her arms. She only took her eyes away for a moment, when she felt her husband’s beard on her knee. His eyes were so bright, so peaceful and content, she finally released the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. She felt a sudden since of relief flood her body. She took the wet rag he handed her, without looking away, before finishing gently cleaning her face. Running it through her short, pitch black hair. Her blonde genetics didn’t stand a chance against Rip’s. She knew it the second they found out they were having a girl. She wasn’t gonna look anything like her, and she didn’t. She looked exactly like her daddy, and she couldn’t have been more amazed and in love with her if she tried. She couldn’t help, but smile; running her fingers through her silky hair, that was already starting to curl as it dried. That was definitely where her heart burn came from.

Thankful for the distraction for his wife, as he cut the cord connecting them for eight months. Tying off his daughters, before leaving Beth to cuddle her all she needed. He was perfectly content being a bystander at the moment. He could watch Beth all night long, as she gently cleaned their daughter. Every few minutes, he handed her another warm, wet rag. The hot thermus he always carried, finally came in handy. Kissing her knee, caressing the outside of her thigh, as she finally delivered the placenta. Placing it in the empty cooler they thankfully brought. It wasn’t something they planned to keep, but he didn’t like the idea of animals eating any part of his wife or daughter. He’d bury it when they got back to the ranch. Carefully cleaning her thighs, making sure she wasn’t bleeding or torn, before leaving her be. Not that she even looked up or noticed what he was doing, he didn’t want to push. She didn’t react to his touch at all. Still too amazed and focused on their new baby, and he couldn’t blame her. He grabbed another clean pack of rags and the rest of their blankets from the back of the truck, before walking the dozen feet to sit them down out of her way. Making a new pallet against the tree next to her. She couldn’t stay on the wet blankets. She could, but he wouldn’t let her. He wanted her comfortable and warm, the midwife kept reminding him how important it was to monitor her body temperature. To make sure her color stayed consistent. To not let her get stressed.

Rip knelt down next to her. Brushing the blonde curls behind her ear, his fingers down her cheek. For a long moment, she didn’t react, continuing to clean their daughter’s tiny fingers. He didn’t say anything. He allowed her the time, she likely wouldn’t have gotten in the hospital. He didn’t know if she would have or not, but he knew it was her fear. She wanted as much immediate contact as possible. She wanted as little intervention as she could get. Luckily, they didn’t have to worry about that now. “All right, mama; time to get off those wet blankets,” he muttered, kissing her shoulder, as she finally turned and caught his eyes. He expected protest, or a straight out no. He didn’t expect her to wait a breath, and slowly pass their daughter back to him. He preferred she move herself, but that didn’t mean she could or would. She easily pushed the wet blanket from her body, and slid to the dry, clean ones. Leaning back against his saddle bag, and waited. She didn’t ask to have Charolette back. She didn’t look panicked or concerned that she now didn’t have contact with her, but his baby sure did. The second the moment lasted a little too long for her liking, her cries immediately began. No warning. No whimper. A full on, pissed off cry. His wife’s personality on full display. Little patience for nonsense. She wanted what she wanted, and wouldn’t be happy if it was any different. “I know, who’s this hairy weirdo that keeps taking you away,” he muttered, handing her back over, as Beth almost laughed. It was amusing, because he was fully aware it would happen. John warned him. Kaycee told him how Tate wailed every time he had to hold him because Monica couldn’t. Several of the other ranch hands let him know the same, but it would only last a few days. Charolette had to get used to his smell, his voice, how he felt.

He carefully covered them with the thick quilt and buffalo hide John had thrown in the back when he said they were going out for a few days. He said just in case when Rip asked, now he wandered if the older man had a feeling something was gonna happen. He was grateful for the push either way. At least they would be warm and comfort until she was ready to leave. He glanced over his shoulder to see if the wolves had gotten brave. But there was nothing out in the distance. No eyes watching them. No sounds except the gentle wind blowing through the trees. The wolves had gone silent. Even the crickets were still. He didn’t see any truck lights in the distance. He took the moment of peace, to gently brace his wife’s back, moving the saddle bag to the side and taking its place behind her. Feeling her sigh and relax back against his chest. Nuzzling her face into his neck, kissing his cheek. Letting her knees relax against his. “You okay?” he whispered, kissing her forehead, the bridge of her nose. Feeling her breathing him in. Needing just as much comfort as their daughter. That was his job. Making sure she wasn’t just physically okay, but emotionally, psychologically as well.

She was more than okay. She couldn’t remember ever feeling so much peace, calm in her entire life. She couldn’t remember feeling so complete, until she heard Charolette’s first cry. It wasn’t agitating or annoying like Lynelle and the midwife prepared her for. It caused an emotional pull in her chest. She wanted to make the fear and shock cease. She wanted to make the uncomfortableness stop. She wanted to be her daughter’s comfort. She wanted her to feel completely safe and at ease on her chest, and she did. She felt a lot better physically, now that his warm body was pressed against her lower back. She still ached. But compared to everything else she’d been through, she was good. Her belly didn’t feel weird. She didn’t feel like she was bleeding. Thighs were slowly starting to stop trembling, but it depended on how much she moved them. She felt her husband’s lips on her shoulder, neck, nuzzling her ear. Feeling his hand slip over her still swollen belly, the other running up and down her arm. She wished her daughter could feel just as safe in her daddy’s arms, as she did every night. She’d been hoping everyone was wrong, when they said they couldn’t hold their own baby for two minutes, before they were screaming again. She was hoping that wouldn’t be the case for Rip. It didn’t seem to deter him, or even cause him to pause. They couldn’t do anything about it if he did anyway. “I’m happy,” she whispered against his lips, before gently capturing his lips, like she had before they’d finally fallen asleep only a few hours before. She never thought she’d get the chance to experience a pregnancy again. She didn’t know if she’d ever get to hold a child they created. Her doctor said the chance was low. Apparently, their daughter saw that as a challenge, before she was even growing in her womb. On her next cycle, she was late. The first three days, she didn’t put too much hope behind it. On day ten, she still hadn’t told him, she hadn’t called her doctor; she waited. Too afraid to know the answer if her gut was wrong, it wasn’t. Day fifteen, she took three tests while he was still asleep. It was the quickest she’d ever seen any over the counter test respond; positive; all of them. She didn’t wait for him to wake up on his own, she couldn’t. Her climbing back in bed was enough for him to stir and reach for her. She didn’t play games. She didn’t tease. She didn’t make him guess. It was too important to both of them. It was one of a handful of times she told him exactly what was happening. Besides the day she married him, it was the happiest she could ever remember seeing him. He didn’t go to the barn that day, he stayed in bed with her.

She watched their daughter slowly start to get restless, her tiny fingers trying to dig into her skin. She began to whimper, as if her brand new body knew the world wasn’t safe just yet. She was quiet as her lips parted and drug against her chest. Nuzzling deeper into her skin. For a half second, if not less, Beth didn’t know what her daughter wanted. She forgot the schedule the doctor sent home from the hospital, of everything they would be doing the first few hours after birth. But it only took a moment for her own body to guide her. Her breasts suddenly ached. Not the normal soreness she remembered feeling throughout her pregnancy. It was intense, and got worse the longer her baby fussed and nuzzled. She only let the blanket slip enough for Rip to help her readjust. He might not know what she was doing or feeling, but he helped her do it, just as he promised he would. It only took a second more before she easily helped her daughter latch for the first time. It took her breath when she finally did. Bringing a feeling of warmth across her entire body. Her heart exploding, as she watched her eyes flutter closed. Her tiny hand flexing and relaxing against her breast. The content suckling and slight humming sounds coming from her daughter, were the happiest she could ever remember being. “Thank you,” she relaxed back against her husband. He likely had no idea what she was talking about, what she was thanking him for. It didn’t have anything to do with helping her give birth. If she stayed home, he would have done the same, only with the midwife supervising. She knew they could do it on their own. She trusted her husband with her life, with their daughter’s. She was thanking him for taking the time to give her what she wanted. It wasn’t easy. The sex part was, the disappointment month after month wasn’t. He didn’t cry every time she told him it didn’t happen, but could tell it broke him when she did. It wasn’t until they went to a specialist a few months in, that got her cycle figured out, told her it would be difficult, gave them the days to try. Those were the days they conceived their daughter. If she’d continued going by her own schedule, they would have been trying a week too early.

Rip didn’t feel he did anything to be thanked for. He helped his wife. He made his daughter came into the world safely. He made sure she wasn’t in need of immediate medical attention, before even thinking of taking a breath. That was his job. That’s what he was supposed to do. Women gave birth at home all the time, not too long ago. Shit, John said Lee was almost born in the barn. If she was thanking him for getting her pregnant, that was the easy part. Hearing her cry and scream in frustration and guilt were the hard parts. Having her wake up from nightmares of their baby being ripped away, was difficult. He didn’t know how to help her, but be there. If they had figured out they had their dates wrong, it would have saved her a lot of emotional pain. He would go through it all over again, if it gave her what she wanted. But watching her suffer, wasn’t anything he’d WANT to experience again. “I’m not even giving that a response,” he muttered, trying to keep her arms and neck as warm as possible. He didn’t expect it to get so cold when they packed for their few days away. He would have brought the tent, even though she hated it. If she chose to stay for a while, he’d have to build a fire at some point. “You did so good, baby,” he whispered low in her ear, as she rested back against his shoulder. To him, she did amazingly. She was so calm. She progressed so fast, her entire labor was less than thirty minutes. And now, she was so connected with her body, she naturally helped their daughter feed for the first time. Beth hadn’t taken those classes or read the folders of information the midwife left with them. She barely listened to her doctor when she briefly brought up breast feeding. Apparently, she knew she didn’t need it. He could hear his daughter happily suckling, his wife wasn’t wincing, what more could anyone ask for.

Beth held the silence for a while. Listening to the wind blow through the trees, her husbands breath in her ear, her daughter’s gentle suckling. Watching the night sky above them. It was exactly what she imagined when everyone kept asking about her ‘birth plan’. She felt odd telling anyone, what she wanted. She never said a word to Rip. She was already needy. He was already worried that the doctor’s said she was high risk. He was worried about her blood pressure. He was worried she wouldn’t make it through labor. She wouldn’t have made a ‘plan’ at all, if it wasn’t to ease his mind. He knew she was gonna do what she wanted in the end anyway. Nothing ever felt right. The hospital gave her more stress than it should, but not everyone had a baby killed inside them, and taken home like nothing happened. She didn’t really want to give birth in the cabin. She didn’t want to be near the ranch. She honestly didn’t know, until that moment, what made her most comfortable. It was being away from everyone, but her husband. It was feeling free and able to move as she pleased. It was no separation from her daughter. No strangers touching her. No one even knew she existed, but them. That’s what she wanted. “I’m glad it happened this way,” she muttered, feeling his fingers brush over hers holding their daughter. He was gently humming in her ear. She didn’t have drugs clouding her mind. She didn’t have doctors and nurses poking and prodding her and her baby. She didn’t have her jerked away for useless measurements. Her daughter’s first breath didn’t happen in a sterile hospital with strangers. She got the calm Montana night surrounding her, the trees, the river running close by, her daddy catching her as she entered the world. “It was supposed to be this way,” she whispered, letting her eyes flutter closed. If she knew no one was coming, she’d gladly doze off.

After a few long minutes, the baby turned away from her breast, but still continued nuzzling like she wanted more. Huffing into her flesh. Grabbing at her chest. Stretching her legs. Her little nose scrunching, and she didn’t have the energy to move her. “Rip…,” she exhaled, surprisingly, she didn’t have to say anything else. He read her, like she was reading their baby. He felt what she needed, without a word, he always had. It was so much easier for him to maneuver her, than it was for Beth at the moment. She was almost shivering from the sudden cold. Her hands trembled from the adrenaline slowly disappearing. She didn’t trust herself to do it on her own. His hands were so steady, so much larger than hers, gently cradling their daughter, as hers slowly slipped away. She easily fit comfortably in his hands, as he turned her to feed from her other breast. She was so relieved their baby had a natural latch. She knew she was producing just fine. She’d been leaking through her bras all week. That should have been a sign she wasn’t gonna make the full nine months.

Rip felt her fingers shaking as she covered his hands to support their daughter. He could feel her body relaxing against his chest. Her breathing calm. He made sure she wasn’t bleeding, before moving behind her. That didn’t mean he still wasn’t keeping an eye on her body temperature, the color in her cheeks; just like the midwife showed them. She really did seem fine, exhausted, but thankfully, she was fine. “I got her,” he whispered low in her ear. He didn’t want her to start feeling she had to do it all on her own, no matter how tired she was. He didn’t want her to feel he was too scared and concerned to handle his new baby, even though he was. He promised she wouldn’t have to do any part of it alone, like her mother, like Monica; he planned to keep it. “Relax, sweetheart,” he muttered into her shoulder. Kissing her neck and temple, as she sighed and turned further into him. Feeling her arms drop to rest on his thighs. Giving up control like she hadn’t before. Letting him help her. It was so easy for him to slowly turn her. She physically weighed nothing in his hands, but the emotional weight was so heavy he could barely breathe. He never thought he could love someone so much it terrified him. He couldn’t imagine ever walking away from her, like his father did to him. He couldn’t imagine not witnessing her first words, her first steps. Wondering if she was afraid because daddy wasn’t there. He didn’t understand how it was so easy for some ‘men’ to just walk away, and never care what happened after. He couldn’t let her go now, let alone months down the road, after she already bonded with him. He couldn’t see what he was doing in the low light, as he switched Charolette to her mother’s other breast, but he knew when his daughter latched, as Beth sighed against his arm.

It was the first time in a month Beth felt any relief from the tenderness and pain. Her breasts ached from the time she found out she was pregnant, but it had gotten so much worse as she progressed. Nothing her doctor or midwife recommended helped at all. Nothing Rip tried, obviously at the suggestion of Kaycee or Monica, did nothing, but cause more frustration. She could only keep telling herself, she’d been through worse. The Beck Brother’s attack was a thousand times worse, than the pain she felt producing milk for her baby. Losing their first child, nearly destroyed her; everything else was no comparison. The more her daughter suckled, the less pressure she felt. She watched Rip run his fingers through her short black hair. He may not be able to see the details of her face just yet, but she could. She looked exactly like him. Her nose, her chin, the shape of her ears were all his. Her eyes were bright blue, everyone said it could change, but she doubted they would. “I won,” she whispered, glancing over her shoulder, to catch the growing smile on her husband’s face.

When Rip held her for a moment after delivery, he was too worried about making her breath, making sure she was okay, to focus on what she looked like. He didn’t care, as long as she made that first cry. He had no hopes or expectations for what their daughter would look like in the end. Tate looked like Monica. Beth looked like her mother, in his opinion. Lee was the one that most resembled John. He knew her hair was already dark. That wasn’t a surprise and no one else would think so either. “That’s one bet I don’t mind losing,” he nuzzled her neck. Bracing his thighs closer to hers, to encourage her to relax. He could still feel a slight tremor, when she tried supporting her own weight. Her heart did stop pounding in her neck. The sweat stopped running down her back. Now she was calm and starting to get colder. “That means she’ll act like you,” he whispered against her temple, as he felt a slight laugh run through her back.

All Beth could imagine was the attitude she gave to every one in a position of authority. Teasing both the boys in her school, and the grown men she knew shouldn’t be touching her. Sneaking out to be with Rip, when her father was either asleep, or out in a field. She was reckless. She didn’t care enough about her own safety, her own emotional and psychological wellbeing to understand the damage she was doing. She didn’t want her daughter feeling the need to hide everything. That she was so closed minded, she felt she wouldn’t understand. She didn’t want her little girl seeking attention from older men. She didn’t want her feeling that her only contribution to the opposite sex was her body. She knew her husband wasn’t thinking about any of that when he made the comment, but she didn’t see what he saw in her. “Lord help us all,” she muttered, with a slight laugh, watching Charolette’s fingers wrap around a fallen strand of her hair.

Rip knew they were in for a wild ride, when it came to their beautiful girl. He also knew, they were to determined to get right what their own parents got wrong, to fail her. He wouldn’t let his baby girl feel neglected to the point of needing attention from strange men. He wouldn’t let her feel he wasn’t there for anything and everything she could possibly need or want. He wouldn’t be John, working a field, while his children progressed without him. He didn’t care about the ranch, the cattle, the horses. He didn’t care if its what every other cowboy did. He wasn’t everyone else. He didn’t earn Beth Dutton by being just like every other man. He wouldn’t be that kinda father either. He cared about his daughter, his wife, and nothing else. “That beautiful, compassionate, gentleness doesn’t need help, honey,” he reassured, meaning every word more than he ever had. He wished she saw how sweet and kind she was to the world that mattered. He wished she saw how beautiful her brain was to him. She saw the world so differently than everyone else. She saw the calm. She saw the potential in the smallest of things. She was the most positive, enthusiastic woman he’d ever met. Maybe the world didn’t get to always see it, but he did.

Beth was so close to dozing off, but something caught her attention at the back of the truck. It wasn’t a wolf, the shadow was too small. “Rip…,” she barely whispered, pushing back into him, to make sure he didn’t jerk up. It was a doe poking her head around the tail lights, a tiny fawn between her front hooves. Her eyes were pleading. Her baby was barely dry and walking, as she took a few slow steps towards them. That’s what the wolves were really after.

He was terrified the mother would panic and try to trample his exhausted wife and newborn. He could tell she’d just given birth. He could tell she was begging for a place to hide away from the wolf pack across the valley, but he wouldn’t risk his family. He tried reaching for his wife’s hand to take their daughter, she shook her head. Refused to take their baby back.

Beth knew Rip was terrified, she could feel it, but she wasn’t. She could see the fear in the new mother’s eyes, she felt it. She couldn’t force her away. She couldn’t force her to run off, and maybe her new baby would survive until morning, maybe not. She felt that fear in the pit of her stomach, and stopped her husband before he tried grabbing the rifle. “She’s scared…,” she whispered, watching her smell the air as she got closer. Smelling the blankets close to her feet. She could tell she wasn’t the only vulnerable mother trying to get through the next few hours.

He still wrapped his entire body around his wife, as their daughter continued nursing quietly, the deer still coming closer. Stopping only a few feet away, pausing to sniff the air again, before laying almost next to his side. Her baby curling under her neck. He tried not to move much. He tried offering the animal as much space as possible, but she didn’t seem to mind they were there. She just wanted to sleep and rest for a few hours. He could at least give her that chance. “You be calm now,” he muttered, giving her another few second, just to see if she really was just going to go to sleep, before focusing on his wife.

Beth wasn’t concerned about the mother, she would wander off in a few hours. She didn’t mean any harm. They’d likely forget she was there at all, she was almost silent. “Seems I’m not the only one you make feel safe,” she said a little quiet, amazed that the frightened animal would trust them at all. But who didn’t feel safe around Rip? He was the first person that ever made her feel that way. He was the only person that the feeling never slipped away. He never betrayed her. He never turned his back on her. He didn’t use her past against her. He didn’t degrade her. He didn’t blame her for problems she was never involved in. Hell, he didn’t blame her for the shit she actually did. He protect her, even from herself. He never gave up on her, even when she was her most angry at the world. She couldn’t say that for most of the people in her life. He was the safest man in the world to her.

Rip really didn’t think he was anything special. The doe smelled birth and vulnerability and followed it. He figured, she thought she could seek shelter with whatever other animal had just been through the same exhausting experience. He was more than happy his wife felt safe in his arms, that’s all he wanted, especially now. But he doubted the deer felt the same. “Yeah, well, as soon as the Calvary arrives, she’s back on her own,” he said with a little amusement. He didn’t understand why the doe decided they were a safe haven, he’d seen stranger things happen between animals and humans, living in the ranch for the last twenty years. He and Beth frequently awoke in that very spot, catching deer laying only a few meters away. Catching moose laying along the opposite treeline, lazily watching them. Rabbits not worried about getting within a few feet of them. They’d been coming there for a little over a decade. No one hunted on the property. They were free to come and go, as long as they didn’t bother the cattle. He figured that’s why they were so calm, human’s had never been a threat to them that far away from the ranch, and so close to the Yellowstone Park.

Beth tried not to be annoyed that he let her family know what was happening, but she was. She hadn’t wanted them at the hospital, let alone invading their special place. She understood he was scared, but so was she, and her first response wasn’t to reach out to the people that took their first child. She probably wouldn’t have cared much if he had just let Kaycee and Monica know. She didn’t have anything against her little brother or her sister in law. She loved them. They had been more than enthused to help her with the baby room. Kaycee and Rip built the crib first, then got a fire under their asses, and ended up building all the furniture that now sat in Charolette’s room. Monica helped her decorate, went shopping with her, something she would have never subjected her husband to. They bonded more than they had in the nine years they’d known each other. Beth trusted her, and that was difficult to achieve. But with her father and Lynelle on their way, she couldn’t help feel a bout of anxiety flood her system. She tried to hide it. She tried to push it down. She loved her dad. She knew how excited he was about his only granddaughter. She wanted him to have that experience. Her problem, mostly lied with the woman he was bringing along. The one she had no relationship with twenty years ago, when she and her father took her to planned parenthood without explaining why; and she had no intention of having one now. She tried breathing through the rising panic growing in her chest, focusing on her new daughter. “Ruining our peace, isn’t that right,” she whispered, finally taking her daughter’s weight, and placing her back on her chest. Gently patting and rubbing her back. Feeling Rips arm cover her hand on their baby’s back. Pulling the blanket up her body, as she naturally curled into his heat. Charolette offering a soft stubborn cry in response, but mostly, she didn’t seem to like being burped. “I know, you tell grandpa all about it when he pulls up in that loud ass truck, lights fucking blaring, screaming like we’re all dead,” she muttered, not exactly baby talk, but what did anyone really expect from a Dutton. She could feel a change was coming. She could feel her mother getting more anxious the longer she laid against her chest. She thought, if she talked to her, she wouldn’t feel the panic. “Then you can tell the nurses at the hospital all your complaints, while they poke and stick you for no reason at all,” she continued, as Rip laughed behind her. Tracing her fingers with his own. Kissing her cheek and neck and she naturally turned into his touch. “And your daddy thinks it’s funny,” she whispered, giving him a slight smile over her shoulder. Hoping he didn’t feel what their daughter obviously could. She knew, she would be fine. There was no sense in worrying him, when there was nothing he could do. They were coming. It was far too late to stop them.

Rip wasn’t laughing at her words, he found it amusing at the way she was saying them. The sharp edges to her voice were temporarily gone. She was soft, gentle, quiet with their daughter. She was soothing. “Nothing funny, baby,” he said a little lighter. He couldn’t think of one thing funny about the situation they were currently in. It wasn’t funny how anxious his wife was about taking Charolette to the hospital. Not much she secretly fear, she’d be snatched away. “You amaze me,” he whispered low in her ear. She hadn’t softened much during her pregnancy. She actually had more bouts of anger and frustration. More nightmares. More crying episodes than he wanted to remember. The pregnancy opened old wounds that never healed, he didn’t even know if they could. She hadn’t slowed down. She had more energy than a six year old ADHD farm boy. Now, she felt different, softer. She was so much calmer than he ever remembered her being. The energy around her felt lighter. The way she naturally nurtured their baby, with no hesitation, amazed him.

Beth thought her daughter was the greatest miracle she could have been given. She treasured her little girl, more than her own life. She thought Charolette was amazing. She didn’t believe anything she did was spectacular. Women gave birth every day. She knew everything was gonna be fine. But she could see how he would think so. He didn’t have to stand idly by, while a strange doctor caught their newborn; he did. He helped her through birth, and got to be the first to hold their baby. THAT WAS amazing. “You’ve birthed a thousand calves…,” she muttered, watching him out of the corner of her eye, watching their daughter. Seeing the fascination appear on his face, as his fingers traced her tiny hand. Finally getting the opportunity to appreciate her sweet innocence. Her perfection. Her softness and beauty, without worrying something was wrong.

He could have birthed a million calves and it wouldn’t even be close to the same feeling when he felt his daughter’s weight in his hands for the first time. He had nothing on being the one responsible for her first cry. Cutting the cord that connected her to her mother. Nothing that ever happened in their lives made him feel the pride and love he felt in that moment. He loved his wife deeply. He would live and die for her. He would give her anything she needed or wanted. But nothing compared to the pull her had for their new baby. It felt a protectiveness he’d never felt before. He felt the need to keep her close, watch her, not let her out of his sight. She was so small, so vulnerable; he barely wanted anyone else to breath on her, let alone touch her. “Not even close to the same thing,” he whispered, watching Charolette start to slowly doze off for the first time. Her little fist tangled in Beth’s hair. Her lips slightly parted in soft, deep breaths against his wife’s chest, but he could hear them. He could feel the rise and fall of her back.

Rip saw the flare out in the distance. He left a map for John when they left that morning. Giving him the exact route they would take. Pinpointing where they would camp the best he could; just in case.
As the flare burst, the deer flinched beside him. “Relax, nothing to worry about,” he muttered, running his hand along the doe’s back, until she finally relaxed on the edge of the blanket. She would have been a good dog in a past life, he couldn’t help thinking to himself. She was the calmest wild doe he’d ever seen. “You got thirty minutes before they’re here,” he whispered, trying not to think about how Beth was gonna react when everyone arrived. She was so calm now, but he felt the anxiety building under her skin. He was willing to get his phone and try to stop them, but at this point, he knew it was likely useless. They were coming whether they liked it or not. He couldn’t blame them for being worried, but they knew how Beth was. She could be the sweetest person you ever met, or your worst nightmare turned into reality. It depended how she felt that day. She could only respond one of two ways, and he had a feeling which way it was beginning to lean.

Beth didn’t understand what they were gonna do when they got to them. She was fine. Her baby was perfection. Her husband was exhausted. And she didn’t want the doe to get scared off and be vulnerable all night. It wasn’t like they were gonna help her. They weren’t gonna just hand over her daughter. “We didn’t need them,” she said, hiding her frustration because it wasn’t for him. She loved him for caring so much, he bothered to text her brother and father. She couldn’t be angry for him being scared. He deserved support, just as much as she did. She just didn’t want THEIR support until she was ready. She wasn’t ready yet. “I don’t want them driving her while they’re panicked,” she was just making excuses at that point. She knew Rip wasn’t gonna let anyone else drive her, or his new baby, anywhere. He felt too protective of her, at the moment. He handed moved since he sat behind her. He hadn’t stopped nuzzling and kissing her neck and cheek. He wasn’t ready to let her go either.

He wasn’t even considering allow anyone to drive his vulnerable and exhausted wife, and fragile newborn any damn where. He didn’t plan to let either of them out of his sight for as long as he could. He was still waiting to wake up from the dream he was in. Waiting to sit up in the tack room, as that sixteen year old boy again. He never thought his life would be so peaceful. He never thought he would know trie happiness and love. He never knew he could give it, let alone honestly receive it from anyone. Beth Dutton proved every doubt wrong. He would give her whatever she wanted. If she didn’t want anyone else driving, that’s what she got. “I’m driving, don’t you worry about that,” he said just as strong and protective as he felt. Holding her a little closer, but not tighter. He was still too worried about how sensitive her belly could be. Feeling her sigh into his neck, as he heard their daughter whimper. “It was just in case, sweetheart, I’m sorry,” he apologized, knowing he was about to have to step in between his wife and her family. He could feel she didn’t have any plans to go anywhere. She wasn’t gonna be cooperative when they arrived. He’d already accepted it was about it get tense, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it, until it began.

Beth slowly pushed herself to sit up, as she laid their daughter on his chest. His hand naturally covering her back, as she tucked the blanket further over them. Curling on her side to lay beside her, but still getting the comfort she needed so badly from her husband. Nuzzling into his warm chest, breathing him in, feeling his strong arm snake around her back. His lips grazing her forehead. Charolette whimpering at the sudden change in contact, but Beth didn’t take her back. She wanted to, but she also didn’t want Rip not to be able to comfort her. She wanted her to feel just as safe, as she did. The only way to do that, was allow him to actually do it. She nuzzled her daughter’s cheek, letting her smell her scent, but refused to move her. Slowly, her tiny girl calmed and she carefully moved away. Watching Rip’s eyes focus on nothing but the baby they never thought they’d have. He watched the pure joy appear on his face for the third time in their lives. He had such amazement in his eyes, it caused a tear to slide down her cheek. He finally saw it, she looked exactly like him. “We made her,” she whispered, still amazed the baby they wanted for so long, was finally laying on his chest.

Rip didn’t feel that he made anything. He wasn’t the one having painful periods month after month, taking nothing for the discomfort, just in case. He wasn’t the one vomiting for nearly six months. Unable to keep anything down, besides water. Experienced migraines that lasted for days, because she refused to take anything for the pain. She refused to let the hospital give her anything. He didn’t deal with the back pain, restless leg, nightmares so bad she’d wake up screaming. He supported her through it, but his body hadn’t taken the physical beating. He’s not the one that just experienced more pain than a grown man could survive. She still had a smile on her face. She still moved as if nothing happened. Beth made her, he just provided some assistance. “You made her, honey. I only helped with the fun part,” he replied with a little amusement, at her effortless eye roll. He didn’t do anything special, she did. No matter how much she looked like him, Charolette was her mother in the smallest form. All the beauty inside his wife, all the love and peace, was now laying on his chest.

That’s not how Beth felt. He might have felt he only participated physical, but she didn’t. Who was holding her hair, and putting a wet rag on the back of her neck, when she couldn’t stop vomiting for weeks at a time? Who was telling her father he wasn’t gonna be able to run cattle, because her migraines were so bad, she could barely walk, let alone be left to fend for herself? Who comforted her when she woke up screaming and crying from the worst nightmares she’d ever had? She didn’t do any of it alone. She might have been the one carrying her, but she couldn’t have made it through the last eight months with him. She couldn’t have done it with anyone else. She couldn’t have done it alone, like she did everything else. She needed him, and he never left her feeling alone. “No…,” she said with a little more edge to her voice. Not because she was aggravated, but she wanted him to really hear her. To really listen. To feel it. “Look at her,” she said a little softer, watching his eyes leave her and wander back to their daughter. Only having to wait a few second, before she felt the catch in his chest, saw his chin tremble, the tears start to build in his eyes. It only lasted a moment, but he saw it. He felt it with the same intensity she did. “WE made her,” she whispered, barely tilting her head, as his lips covered hers. It was sweet, but still held the same intensity it always had. She got the same chill run down her spine when she tasted his tongue. But it felt deeper than the erotic feeling she normally got. She felt so connected with him, nothing else mattered.

The moment didn’t last long, their daughter wouldn’t allow it. Her fingers tangling in loose strands of her blonde hair. Her grip far stronger than the tug she tried to give, but Beth felt it. She still didn’t move to take her back. Too determined for him to have those first few months of bonding Kaycee and her father didn’t have. Beth took his hand, laying it next to her irritated face. Only letting her smell her skin for a moment, before pulling away again. Trying to communicate the only way Charolette could. Trying to let her know she was still right there, even if she was laying on her daddy’s chest. She wasn’t going anywhere. She could let him calm her. “God, she’s beautiful,” she mumbled, mostly to herself, as she traced her daughter’s face, ran her fingers along her cheek when she got restless again.

Rip knew exactly what she was knowing. He didn’t know if he liked it or not. He didn’t like his daughter fussing for her mother, and Beth refusing to immediately take her back. He didn’t like she was so determined to give him something, she obviously wasn’t ready for. But he wouldn’t ask his wife to take her either. He liked feeling his baby laying on his chest. He liked feeling every breath she took. Just like with Beth, he wanted to keep her close. “Yeah, I get it,” he said in slight amusement, as her mother continued placing her hand over his until she calmed, then pulled it away. “I like mama better too,” he whispered, as Beth continued repeating her own process of letting him calm their baby. The longer he let her, the longer the moments became between the time Charolette was calm, and began fussing again. The longer she laid on his chest, smelling him, feeling his strong heart beat against her small body; the tighter her fingers wrapped around one of his. The more she nuzzled into him without stirring. “I love you so much, honey,” he whispered into blonde curls. He wished there were words that described how he actually felt in that moment. If he thought he loved her before an hour ago, he didn’t know what the feeling was in his chest. It almost hurt. She was so special, so perfect, he didn’t know what to say. “I couldn’t be more proud of you,” he muttered, feeling her lips on his neck. She was getting so tired. He could feel it in how much her body relaxed into him. How she nuzzled into his neck and chest. How her feet slightly moved under the blanket. If they were at home, or even the hospital, she would likely already been asleep by now.

She continued nuzzling into her husband’s chest. She could easily slip into sleep. She could easily trust him to take care of her, and let her guard down. He promised she wouldn’t feel she was doing anything alone, and she didn’t. “I didn’t think I could love you more, until now,” she whispered, letting her eyes close. Feeling his lips against her forehead. She loved her husband more than she loved herself. He was her everything, and had been for so long, she forgot what it felt like not having his consistency. But she felt an overwhelming feeling in her chest, that she never felt before. Watching her husband cradle their new baby, ignited a love inside her she never thought possible.

Rip watched his wife, become completely mesmerized by their daughter. Her eyes clear, bright, and completely focused. Her fingers running lightly over her face, tracing her nose, ear, her little chin. The corner of her tiny mouth twitching at her touch. Charolette’s lips parting, easily suckling Beth’s knuckle. Another flare went off, closer this time without warning, causing his wife to tense at the sudden noise, but immediately relax again, as it burst. “Ten minutes, sweetheart,” he muttered, feeling the air around them slowly began to shift. He could see the tension in her face, even if she did force her body not to show. He could see it in the way she now wouldn’t pull her hand away from his when their baby fussed.

Beth felt a hard pull in her chest at the thought of their peace being disturbed. She didn’t like the idea of someone else holding her baby. She wasn’t interested in the joy and happiness of everyone else. She wasn’t interested in congratulations. She wanted to be left alone with her daughter. She wanted to be the only one touching her, holding her. She wanted everyone to pretend Charolette didn’t exist until she was ready, and she wasn’t. “Don’t let them touch her,” she mumbled without thinking, or maybe she was thinking too much for her own good.

He didn’t plan to let anyone touch their newborn. The midwife hadn’t recommended home visitor’s until after her first doctor’s visit after birth. It was important for her to get that safe, secure bond. “You don’t have to worry about that,” he reassured, watching in the distance for headlights to suddenly appear. The doe next to his hip still hadn’t moved, neither had her fawn. She was finally asleep, after moving restlessly for a while. “No one’s touching you either,” he added, as he felt her shift her hips and her breath caught against his neck. She was starting to hurt. There was no way he was letting anyone anywhere near her being so vulnerable. He didn’t need help lifting his wife into the truck. He didn’t need help taking care of her. He didn’t want them accidentally hurting her.

A quiet whimper drew all her attention back to Charolette. As if she understood her mother wasn’t happy, she fussed in agreement. “I know,” she muttered, running her knuckle along her daughter’s bottom lip, as her chin began to quiver. Her nose scrunched. Letting her gently suck on her knuckle. It wasn’t hard. She wasn’t hungry. She was soothing herself. She’d rather her baby suck on her knuckle, than have a piece of plastic shoved in her mouth. She’d already gotten rid of all the pacifiers she received from the shower, after repeatedly telling people she wouldn’t allow them. Rip took them back to the store and got more diapers, like she originally asked. “Next parts gonna be tough, love,” she whispered, as she slowly settled the longer Beth let her smell her skin. She could already hear the painful screams of her daughter being poked by a bunch of strange nurses, blood taken, placed on a freezing cold scale. It was already pissing her off. It was already causing her to want to hold her as tight as she could, and never let her go.

He knew his baby was gonna cry, the moment the doctor and nurses started checking her. She would scream the second she was away from Beth. He was prepared for it. He knew it had to be done. And the faster they got through the process, the faster they would have her back home. “Everything’s gonna be fine, honey,” he tried to reassure, but knew nothing he could say would change how she felt. She wouldn’t try to convince her she was overreacting, because she wasn’t. Her instincts were on full alert, and he wouldn’t damper that. He understood her fear. He was still waiting to wake up from the best dream he could ever have. He was still waiting for it to turn into a nightmare. He never imagined this peaceful life could be his. He never imagined he would finally settle with the women of his dreams and create a life. Happiness didn’t happen to men like him. Maybe he WAS a better man than he believed. Maybe Beth had always been right, neither of them were their parents. They were too determined not to be. “We’ll be back home by tomorrow afternoon,” he said a little too confidently. There was always a chance she would have to stay overnight. They wouldn’t know until they got there, and she was checked by her doctor. But he doubted they would keep her long, as well as she was doing now.

She was sure they wouldn’t be at the hospital for very long. She was sure they would check them both and let them go. But she didn’t want her baby to have any discomfort. She didn’t want her experiencing unnecessary pain. She didn’t want her to feel scared and confused, because she couldn’t find her. “Stay with her at the hospital,” she muttered, kissing Charolette’s hand, as she moved it closer to her face.

Rip knew the demand was coming. Likely, their baby wouldn’t be taken out of her room, but if she was, that’s what Beth feared. “And who’s gonna stay with you?” he asked, with slight amusement, but mostly concern. He didn’t want to leave his wife alone. He wanted to comfort her and be there for her, just like he always had. She understood how much she emotionally relied on him, and he didn’t mind it. He also didn’t want to leave his new baby alone either. He wanted her to feel at least one of them with her, while the hospital did whatever they needed to do. In the end, he would do whatever she told him to do.

Likely Monica would gladly volunteer to stay with her, while Rip and Kaycee went with Charolette. She didn’t care if she was left on her own. She could protect herself. She could scream for her husband if she absolutely had to. All her little girl could do, was cry if something was wrong. She couldn’t fight back. She couldn’t tell them if anything happened. She didn’t want her left on her own. “Don’t care…,” she muttered, shaking her head, when she felt him trying to calm her. Trying to hold her a little tighter for reassurance. Tried to whisper low in her ear, but she wasn’t listening. She couldn’t hear over all the noise inside her head. All the things that could go wrong, were now surfacing with a force that felt like she was being hit by a truck. She could barely take a deep breath. Beth felt an overwhelming feeling of protectiveness she’d never felt before. She felt a fear and panic she’d never experienced. She didn’t want her baby left alone. She didn’t want something to happen, and neither of them were there to comfort her. She didn’t give a shit about herself, she cared about her daughter disappearing. She cared about leaving the hospital with her baby this time. “Don’t leave her alone,” she said a little stronger, but not loud enough to startle their sleeping infant.

Rip wished he could read her mind in that moment, more than any other. He felt the panic building faster than it ever had. He saw the fear in her eyes, when she did glance up at him. He didn’t understand why she was so afraid. “You act like someone’s gonna take her,” he whispered, watching her chin tremble, her breath catch in her chest. Her fingers tightening over his. He didn’t understand how she honestly believed their daughter was just gonna disappear. That he would ever let that happen. That Kaycee wouldn’t be standing guard at her hospital room, just to make her feel safe. That Monica would let her experience what she already had, without a fight. No one was gonna let anything happen to them. But it was as if, his words weren’t getting through. Her mind was stuck. Her anxiety too high to see reality. “Hey…,” he said a little louder, trying to tilt her chin, but she wouldn’t look up, as the tears started rolling down her cheek.

Beth wasn’t hearing anything he said. Nothing he could say would convince her everything would be fine if their baby was away from them. Nothing would happen. They would bring her right back. He couldn’t promise that, not in her mind. She went right back to the feelings she had two decades ago. All the fear, anger, resentment, frustration, and guilt resurfaced like a bubble suddenly bursting around it. Protecting her for the last twenty years, now she felt it all. And she couldn’t make it stop. She couldn’t reign it in. She couldn’t push it back down. Something was released within her, and she couldn’t tame it. She would tear the world apart for her little girl, if it started with her family, she couldn’t force herself to feel guilty about it; she wouldn’t. “Don’t leave her,” she mumbled, as her fingers ran mindlessly along her daughter’s cheek, down her arm. Tracing her hand and fingers.

Rip knew it would be difficult for her to be separated from their baby at the hospital. He knew it would cause anxiety. He knew she didn’t want it. He wasn’t expecting her to react with the same amount of panic and tension as she did when she bolted awake from a nightmare. “I won’t leave her for a second,” he reassured, rubbing his free hand up and down her freezing arm. Tightening his thighs around her. Kissing her temple, her slightly sweaty forehead. Wishing he could take her pain away. Wishing he could bring her peace from what happened so long ago, but that was up to her. She had to find it on her own. All he could do was be a constant she could count on when the world got too loud. All he could do was protect her from the world, but he couldn’t protect her from herself. “No one’s taking her from you,” he said with more emotion than he ever thought he’d feel. He didn’t want his wife terrified their baby would disappear. He wasn’t expecting it. He wasn’t prepared to deal with it, but he would. He would do whatever she needed him to do in order to feel calm and secure. He would never allow someone to take their child from her. He would never allow anyone near her, she didn’t already approve. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her, that he wasn’t positive Beth was a thousand percent okay with. “I’m not letting them hurt you anymore,” he said a little louder, wanting to make sure she could hear him. He wasn’t allowing the financial stress to be placed on her any longer; that was supposedly Jamie’s job, and he could do it. If he messed up, he could clean up his own messing, same for John. If he didn’t want to take the advice Beth had given him over and over and over again, as if something was gonna change in the economy, he wasn’t gonna let him continue burdening her with it. It wasn’t her problem. They weren’t taking over the ranch when he was gone anyway, that was Kaycee’s job. They already had property waiting for them in Dillion. He was just waiting for her to tell him they were building. He definitely wasn’t gonna allow Jamie to start playing the blame game, putting more pressure and guilt on her, that was also not her problem. He was taking her out of the ranch equation. She could be his wife, John’s daughter; she didn’t need to be involved in the ranch’s business. They were on their own from that point forward. “Lean back,” he whispered, watching her carefully turn to lean against his chest again. Kissing his daughter one more time, before placing her back on Beth’s. Hearing the content, relaxed sigh pass her lips, as her anxiety slowly calmed. He couldn’t help pulling the blanket up her body, covering them both from the Montana breeze.

Her body immediately calming, the moment Charolette was back on her chest. Nuzzling into her neck, as if she knew something was coming, and needed to be close. Did Beth really believe something was gonna happen, no, but she couldn’t tell her body that. She couldn’t close the box, feeding doubt into her head, flooding her body with painful anxiety. “My beautiful girl,” she muttered, in pure fascination, a few tears still sliding down her cheek. She couldn’t tell if they were from happiness or fear at that point. She wanted it to stop. She wanted to be able to blindly trust everyone in her life. But the ones she was supposed to be able to trust the most, were the ones that left wounds so deep, they never managed to heal. They broke her. They made her hate herself to the point of not wanting to see if it would get any better. They caused her to lose so much time, with the love of her life. How was she supposed to trust them with the most fragile part of her?

Rip wished he’d made a different decision. He wished he’d taken a second, and asked her what she wanted him to do. He knew how she felt about having them around when she gave birth. She didn’t want them at the hospital, if she had ended up going. She didn’t want them at the cabin, if she had decided to deliver with their midwife. She didn’t want them coming into the house after Charolette was born. She wanted everyone to wait until she was ready to bring their daughter out. Until she was ready to expose her to the world, and the people that took their first child. His gut had told him to focus on her, forget everything else. But he was so terrified something was wrong. That something would happen they couldn’t control. She was early. Beth hadn’t been dilated at all at her last appointment. The midwife was positive she would make it to her approximate due date. Thank God she and Monica finished decorating the baby’s room last weekend. He got the furniture built the week before that, they cut it close. “Get ready, sweetheart,” he muttered low in her ear, kissing her neck, as he tucked the quilt further around her. Keeping her now completely nude body as covered as she would allow. He couldn’t tell if she cared or not. On any normal day, she’d walk naked around the ranch, and not think twice about it. This was different. He didn’t want her to feel exposed. He didn’t want her to feel their daughter was being exposed, so he did what his gut told him to do; made sure no one could see his newborn. Feeling his wife slightly turn and kiss his neck, obviously it was the right decision.

Lucky for them, when the trucks stepped a few dozen yards away, Lynelle and John were the only ones to jump from his truck. The older man had a large bag with him. It looked like Beth’s hospital bag he left sitting by the front door. He was actually more than thankfully he remembered to grab it. It had everything she could possibly need, but a doctor. If she wanted to stay in the meadow for a few more hours, she would at least have a few things that would keep her dry and comfortable. He could see Kaycee and Monica waiting in the other, just in case. In everyone’s defense, all he said was, Beth was in labor and never answered the phone the dozens of times he heard it ringing. John stopped near his tailgate, as his arm naturally covered his wife. Pulling the blanket further over her, until their daughter wasn’t exposed at all. It wasn’t something Rip could control, he made her a promise, his body was determined to keep it. “I gotcha,” he said with more determination than he ever had. But as Lynelle got closer, assuming just to check and make sure everything was okay, or help if it was needed; a near growl left his wife’s chest. Like a lioness protecting her cub. Her arms tightening around their baby. The muscles in her back and shoulders tensed. If it had been possible for her to breathe fire, she would have at that moment. He could feel the sudden rage leeching from her skin. He wasn’t expecting it, nor did he know how to respond. He’d never seen her like that before. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel protective of his new baby, he was. He just knew nothing was gonna happen. What happened twenty years ago, wasn’t the same. Unfortunately, Beth’s hormones, instincts and natural anxiety, wouldn’t allow her to see it so clearly. These were the same people that took her to the abortion clinic. The same ones that told her to pretend it never happened. To not tell him. To not let it happen again. He knew all those thoughts were now circling in her brain. And for once, he was gonna encourage her to let her feelings show. To let her instincts tell her what to do, no matter what it sounded like. He would love her and take care of her in the end.

All Beth felt was a violent bout of fear and protectiveness she’d never felt before. It was coursing through her veins so quickly, she wanted to scream. She felt her heart pounding in her chest. Her daughter obviously felt the change, as she began to cry. Her small body trying to bury herself further into her arms and breast. Her skin was on fire. Her back burned as she pushed herself further into Rip’s chest. Her thighs ached and trembled from the effort, causing him to immediately brace her more. He was blowing puffs of cool air on the back of her neck. Whispering it was gonna be okay, low in her ear. Reminding her he was right there, he wouldn’t leave her. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt her. But she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready for the questions. She wasn’t ready for the blood work, and listening to her daughter scream because the government required useless measurements. For what? Beth knew she was physically fine. She felt better than she expected she would. She was sore, but she’d been through fucking worse, and no one tried to overstep then. No one checked on her wellbeing then. Only when she was bringing life into the world, did everyone want their opinions to matter more than hers. The woman still looked at her like she was the same fourteen year old child that never grew up. She was about the show the governor just how feral she actually could be. She’d been getting the tame version. Everything was different. She could fight back and leave now. “I’m fine; you’re not needed,” she tried to sound normal, but rage was coursing through her blood, as Charolette continued to cry. Rip’s hand covering her quivering, tense belly, was the only thing that slightly settled her, but she could feel it wouldn’t last long. Beth was afraid, of course her daughter could feel it bleeding through her skin. And she hated them even more for it.

John glanced from his daughter, to his son in law; everything seemed fine. He only saw a few blood spots on the man’s hands. He didn’t look panicked. He didn’t look like anything was wrong. Beth’s color looked better than when her mother had her in the hospital. She was moving just fine. She was articulate and alert. She was easily moving his granddaughter from one arm to another, as she lightly cried. If something was wrong, he doubted Rip would just be laying there. He looked calm, concerned for how his wife had suddenly tensed. He could see it from the back of the truck, that’s why he didn’t move. He didn’t want to stress his daughter anymore than she already was. He didn’t want to push. He knew why she was pushing them away, and understood. They deserved it. “She okay, son?” he shouted over the sound of his and Kaycee’s truck still running. If he would have been able to catch her before she jumped out, he would have told Lynelle to wait. It probably would have been better and easier, if it had been Monica approach them. She had no history with her young sister in law. She had no reason to be defensive or terrified. Kaycee would have been a better choice than Lynelle.

Rip appreciated that John read the situation, the air, and kept his distance. He understood how angry his wife was at them both; he felt the same protectiveness over her, that she felt over their daughter. He wanted her to feel calm and safe, at that moment, she didn’t feel either. Her skin was suddenly on fire. Sweat poured from bare back and neck. Her fingers dug into his arm, covering her and Charolette. Unless she wanted to be seen over his truck, she wouldn’t be. He could feel her pushing back against him, not hard, but enough to make him notice. He was worried she would physically hurt herself for no reason. Her back still ached. He knew her pelvis and belly were sore. He could feel her thighs trembling again. Her hips were shifting constantly. She was already pushing his comfortability by wanting to stay. He wanted her to be as relaxed as possible. He didn’t want people around that was clearly agitating her. He didn’t normally intervene with her family. He supported her silently, not anymore. Something flipped inside his brain, as his wife pushed their daughter into the world, and her first cry made all his fear disappear. It was HIS family. And he tired of standing idly by, while Beth took the blunt of their anger and blame. If he had to step in, this time, he would. “She’s good, I’ll take her to Bozeman as soon as she’s ready to go,” he said, just loud enough for the man to give him a nod and encouraging slight smile. He didn’t move closer. He called the older woman back. He yelled at Kaycee to head back to the house, and waited for the Governor to respond.

Lynelle felt it was a bad idea for her to even come with them, when John got the text. She was gonna stay behind and wait for an update, keep an eye on Tate. If a woman was what he needed, Monica was right there, and more steady than she was. If he hadn’t insisted, she wouldn’t have gotten in the truck. Even as she approached them, she saw how tense Beth became. The baby started screaming in her arms. Rip braced himself for a fight. “Beth, you need to get checked,” Lynelle tried, only concerned the younger woman would bleed out in the woods. She just wanted her warm and safe. She wanted the baby to be healthy. She wanted the young woman get everything she wanted.

Beth remembered those words. They echoed in her head every day for twenty years. She remembered a lot of other things they said too. Everything was gonna be fine. Don’t talk about it again. Don’t think about it. Stop fucking the ranch hand. Stop acting like a spoiled brat. What would your mother think? Honestly, she didn’t give a fuck. She didn’t care about any of them. She didn’t want their concerns or opinions. She didn’t want them anywhere near her. She could still remember the confused, empty feeling she had in her lower belly, as they left the Planned Parenthood. Her head hurt. She was dizzy. She had cramps like she never felt before. She was bleeding more than she ever had. She was told it was taken care of. Her father didn’t stay with her long after getting back to the house. He didn’t want to deal with his fourteen year old daughter that had just had an abortion. He didn’t try to explain what happened. He didn’t try to take care of her or make sure she was okay. She was left with Lynelle. She might as well been left with her mother. She had more judgement for her, than empathy. All she was told about what happened, was it was taken care of, take the antibiotics and pain killers. The day she found out her first child was taken from her, was the last day she was voluntarily sober for almost two decades. She did keep the secret for a while, until she couldn’t anymore. Only telling him, when she was finally tired of running and hiding. When she finally stopped caring what her father thought. She couldn’t help tucking her daughter further into her chest. She could feel Rip tensing hard behind her. The muscles in his thighs getting ready for him to jump up. His arm naturally curling around her, pulling the blanket higher, to completely cover the baby. “What does checked mean? I’m drugged and wake up with no baby?” she couldn’t help nearly growling at the woman her father went back to when her mother died. She was tired of being told what to do. She was tired of being told what was best for her. She wasn’t doing it anymore. She felt a rage she’d never felt before. Even as Rip tried to deter her, remind her everything was fine; Lynelle still took a few confident steps in her direction. Beth’s heels pushed against the blanket. Pushing herself further against her husband, that she definitely wasn’t moving. Her daughter let out a scream she’d never heard before, immediately boiling the blood in her veins. Nothing her husband could have done, would have stopped her from wrapping her fingers around the rifle. She didn’t point it at the woman, but she did cock the trigger causing Rip to hold his breath and Lynelle to finally stop. “Get away from me,” she said as steady and calm as she could.

Lynelle didn’t really think the young woman was gonna shoot her. She was standing her ground, like she couldn’t when she was fourteen. The hormones and natural instincts were quickly taking over. She could see it in her eyes. She remembered having the same feeling right after having her son. She didn’t even want the nurses to do his measurements. She wasn’t necessarily worried about the newborn, she seemed fine. She was worried about Beth. She didn’t know how much Rip could see in the low light. If she had started bleeding and they hadn’t noticed. If something was wrong they couldn’t see. Had she even delivered the placenta yet? Had she been cleaned up properly. Was her heart rate still good. All things they could easily check in a hospital and quickly send her home. “Beth,” she didn’t mean to sound like she was scolding the young woman, but she did feel she was acting ridiculous. What happened when she was fourteen had nothing to do with now. They did what they thought was best for her. They tried to keep her safe. They wanted her to go to school. Maybe they shouldn’t have been so harsh with her when it happened. Maybe they should have coddled her a little more and listened. Maybe it was their fault she was the way she was.

Rip was quick to cover his wife, as the doe none of them had noticed, suddenly stood. Grunting and panting hard in the Governor’s direction. The cowboy tucked her fawn close to his hip, as she began stomping, lunging. The hair on her neck stood on end. Her ears were straight up, her tail tucked. Her nostrils flaring, kinda like his wife’s in that moment. “Stay still, baby,” he muttered low in her ear, as Charolette went quiet.

John had never seen anything like what he was seeing in that moment. He saw the doe with her fawn tucked close to Rip’s thigh. Obviously hiding from the wolves across the valley. He watched as Rip quickly pulled the thick buffalo hide over Beth. His body turning to keep his back to the deer, protecting his daughter, even if it killed him. But she didn’t lunge towards the couple, she fake charged Lynelle. Grunting, lowering her head, kicking the dirt. Beth might not shoot his girlfriend, but the mother deer would definitely trampler her if she continued pushing. Somehow, someway, for whatever reason, it was trying to protect the other vulnerable mother she felt was hiding away. It was both amazing and terrifying to witness. “Lynelle get in the truck,” he said low in her direction, thank God his voice naturally carried. The woman carefully, slowly backed away, apologizing, likely for a lot more than that moment. He felt guilt every day, for how they handled the situation. He was never angry with either one of them. He didn’t mean it, when he told her to stay away from him. He should have never told her to keep it from him. He should have put her in therapy like the clinic recommended. He should have spent more time with her. He lost a lot of their trust from that moment. More pain was caused than needed to be. “Call us when you get to the hospital,” he said a little louder, when Lynelle was safely back in the truck. He doubted they would call. He doubted they would know anything until they got home, and Rip talked to him. He wouldn’t invade their space. He gave them the cabin so they could be left alone, so he could keep his daughter close for the first time in her life. He wouldn’t push them and risk her wanting to run again. He already lost eight years of Tate’s life. He didn’t want to lose any with Charolette.

All Rip dared do was nod, as the deer still stood guard in front of them. Her fawn moving closer to his hip, as it got colder. Even though his heart was still hammering in his chest, he couldn’t help being slightly amazed and amused. He had never seen an animal do what she had. No deer protected a human. But they were protecting her from the wolves. I guess he could take it as an even trade. As the lights disappeared, he watched the doe slowly walk around him, to stand over his wife. Carefully leaning down, and nuzzling her shoulder. He could hear her panting into Beth’s skin, still on edge in case someone came back. He could see the muscles rippling in her shoulders, but her ears and tail were both relaxed. Rip was slow, as he took the rifle from his wife’s hand, placing it back by the tree behind him, out of her reach. He really didn’t want Beth to shoot or kill anyone on the day their daughter was born. Would they protect her, yes. Did they want her to live with that feeling, no.

Beth was careful and slow, as she reached up and brushed her hand across her soft face. Her eyes fluttering closed for a small moment. She could feel her fear. She had felt the sudden change in the humans that voluntarily protected her, instead of killing her and her new baby. Somehow, she was trying to protect her the best she could. “Thank you,” she whispered, meaning it more than the doe realized. She didn’t want Rip to feel he was in the middle. She didn’t want him to feel the need to protect her from her own family. She knew he wanted to, he would, but it didn’t mean he should have to. They shouldn’t have been put into situations they were placed in at such a young age. Her father shouldn’t have branded a child and forced him to work for a cot in the closet. He should have paid more attention and given more time to his children. He should have been kinder when she finally did tell him the truth. She remembered the disappointment in his eyes, like it was yesterday. She remembered the anger he had for Rip. Did they need to keep their first child at fourteen, probably not. Should they have had the option, yes. She shouldn’t have been forced to keep a secret, until it was too late if she told him or not.

Rip watched the doe walk around them again, before laying back in the spot she left. The little fawn scurrying to curl against her belly. He was gentle, careful as he ran a hand down her back. She didn’t flinch. She didn’t startle or suddenly stand, she sighed, and curled around her fawn. “Good girl, mama,” he muttered, letting her settle, before turning his attention back to his wife. She was still pushing back into him. She was still squirming. He could still see the stress on her face. The anxiety she was trying to control, with deep breaths. Her fingers still trembling, as they brushed Charolette’s cheek. He knew John didn’t want them to leave, especially after he found out Beth was pregnant again, by the grace of god. He knew the man didn’t want to lose anymore time with his only daughter, now his only granddaughter. He wouldn’t overstep. He would be careful when they returned home. But if Beth continued feeling the way she was now, he wouldn’t make any promises. If she wanted to leave, they’d leave. He didn’t care about the rest. He cared about her. “Breathe and relax, honey, they’re gone now,” he tried to reassure, but it only slightly helped her body relax. Their daughter’s soft cries weren’t calming either. It pulled at his heart like nothing ever had before. It hurt and there was nothing he could do to make it stop.

All Beth could focus on in that moment, was her whimpering, crying baby. Her heart was breaking, her chest hurt, her stomach churned. She wanted to vomit. She was trying to calm her own body. She was trying to calm her pounding heart. Trying to focus on Rip’s comforting, secure touch. She didn’t know how else to comfort her daughter, make her understand it was okay NOW, she lowered her back to her breast and let her suckle. Whether she was hungry or not, she latched immediately. Her tiny fingers wrapping around one of hers, as Rip’s moved slowly along her belly. Letting her know, he was there, she was safe. Her suckling was harder than it was the first time. Her little exhales were harsher. She swore when they got back to the cabin, they weren’t coming out for a damn week, if anyone was lucky. “I’m sorry, but I can’t yet,” she said with a slight tremor to her voice. She couldn’t let them see her yet. She couldn’t let them near her. She was so little, so innocent to the devastation the people around her brought to their lives. She didn’t want her to feel the weight of the Dutton name, as she was passed around, confused and anxious. She knew her family loved her. She knew they loved her baby, but she didn’t know if the emotional cost of that love was too high anymore. “I can’t share her yet,” she muttered through a few stray tears. She did feel guilty for feeling the way she did, but what was she supposed to do, ignore her gut? Every time she did something bad happened. Every time she thought everything was fine, it wasn’t. She had to trust herself. She had to trust her daughter, and how she reacted.

His wife, that just created and birthed their child, feeling guilty for not wanting to share her with people that had nothing to do with that difficult process. No one had the right, or even deserved, contact with his newborn. No one had the right to take it personally or be offended. It would likely be their only child. The only time Beth got to experience a full pregnancy, the birthing process, and holding their child for the first time. He doubted they would get lucky twice. He wouldn’t let anyone take that away from her. He wouldn’t allow anyone to intervene or make her feel bad about her decisions. They were finally HERS to make. “You don’t have to share her at all,” he said with more conviction then he ever felt. He wouldn’t force, or even ask her, to pass their baby to anyone else. He didn’t even feel comfortable taking his own daughter from her, let alone allowing anyone else to do it. He would stand guard at their front door, to keep them away, if that’s what it took. When she was ready, she’d reach out. She’d ask them. Until then, they could fuck off, in his opinion. “We’ll call the midwife when we get back to the ranch. If she says you don’t have to go, you can do whatever you want,” he promised, not knowing what was gonna happening when they got home, but if he didn’t have to take her, he wouldn’t. If they could wait until her regular doctor could check her, they would. He wouldn’t make her do anything, she didn’t have to do. “She’s all yours, baby,” he whispered, feeling her relax further into his chest. Her face had softened. The muscles in her hips and thighs finally stopped tensing against his own. The flush had disappeared from her ears and cheeks.

She was THEIRS, but Beth appreciated what he was doing, giving her control. Letting her make the decisions. Allowing her to take her time, and not adding to the guilt, because he knew nothing was gonna happen. He let her be. He let her feed on the intense bond she already had with their baby. He didn’t push. “Can we sleep here for a while?” she had to ask, even though they both knew they weren’t going anywhere. She was already too comfortable, too content. She didn’t want to start moving around now, when their daughter was almost asleep. Her suckling was getting slower. Her eyes staying closed for longer. She watched her fingers slowly loosen around her daddy’s.

Did Rip like the idea of staying out in the meadow, after his wife had given birth, with a wolf pack running around, no. Did he want to do what she wanted, every time. When she asked for something, he never said no, and he wasn’t about to start now. He could always call for help, if something came up. “Of course we can,” he muttered into her hair, running his hand across her belly, just to see if she’d react. She didn’t. She didn’t wince away. She didn’t tense. She didn’t make a sound, that didn’t mean he didn’t feel the need to make sure. “You okay?” he whispered, feeling her nod against his neck. Feeling her start to doze off. Her breath starting to even out. Her body trying to curl into his heat. He felt bad for it, but she had to stay awake for a little bit longer. “Hang on, sweetheart,” he said a little louder, moving enough to full rouse her. Rip was careful, as he braced her back, and slid from behind her. Helping her relax back against his saddle. “I’ll be right back,” he whispered, kissing her forehead, and watching her relax back into the blankets. Knowing he had to hurry before she fell asleep holding their vulnerable baby. She moved too much in her sleep. She couldn’t sleep on her back anyway. She’d eventually try to roll to her side.

Rip quickly built a decent fire. Collected some extra wood to get them through the night, before turning off the lights on his truck. There was enough moonlight and stars shinning for him to barely see what he was doing. Setting up the spare quilt on the clothes line behind her, trying to contain the heat around them as much as he could. Surprisingly, the deer didn’t move, her baby didn’t stir; his own continued contently feeding from her mother, who was nearly asleep herself. Carefully lowering himself to lay beside her, and patiently waiting for his daughter to turn away from his wife. It didn’t take long for her to finally get a first complete feed, stretching her back, as if she were about to pass out like her mother. That wasn’t happening just get. He was not waking up in an hour to Charolette screaming from gas pain. “Hand her over,” he whispered, as she sighed against his arm. He knew she wanted to do it. She wanted to be the one to take care of her new baby. And the Dutton stubbornness didn’t help. She was fighting sleep like she used to do, when they were hiding from her father. Not wanting to miss a second of time with him. Normally he wouldn’t insist, but she also deserved to sleep and rest, and start to heal. And he promised she wouldn’t do any of it alone. “I can do everything you can, except feed her, let me take her,” he reassured with a little amusement, as her lips curled in a soft, tired smile. He expected another bout of fear to spike through her body. He was ready for her to refuse. He didn’t have many lines when it came to his wife, but he wasn’t letting her fall asleep with their daughter on her chest. He didn’t plan to sleep. It would be morning in under four hours, he slept long enough. Lucky for him, Beth either didn’t have the energy for another fight, or she was thankful he wasn’t afraid to take on the primary responsibility like Kaycee and John; she handed over their daughter easily.

He carefully adjusted Charolette to lay just below his shoulder. Carefully patting and rubbing her back, while she fussed and squirmed. Even after she burped, she still whined, continued nuzzling into him, looking for her mother’s smell. “None of that,” he muttered, leaning back, as Beth cuddled close to his side. Her fingers running through the hair on his chest. Her eyes barely open, as she caught their daughter’s flexed hand, causing her to slowly calm. Her little body stopped fighting sleep, at about the same time as her mother’s. That’s when he finally let all the happiness and fear he’d felt slid down his face. If someone told him twenty years ago, that he and Beth would be laying in the woods, holding their newborn, happy; he would have told them to fuck off. All he hoped out of life, was to not end up like his step-father. He didn’t have any dreams or hopes, until he met Beth Dutton. He never thought she’d stop running and come home, but he was proven wrong. He never thought she’d marry him, but she did; whether it was legal or not, she did. When she wanted to try for another baby, he didn’t think it would happen, but he was now holding her weight and warmth against his chest. He couldn’t help kissing his wife’s cool forehead, as she nuzzled further into his side. “My beautiful girl,” he barely exhaled, the corner of her mouth twitching in her sleep. She might be his wife. She might be the mother of his child, but she was HIS GIRL first. He leaned further into the saddle behind them, causing Beth to naturally move her hand away from Charolette’s in her sleep. He waited for her to start to fuss. He waited for her to smell and feel the difference and immediately protest, but she didn’t. Her breathing became deeper. He nuzzled the top of her head, breathing in her unfamiliar scent. Feeling her tiny heart beating against his skin, as he finally let his eyes close. He wasn’t sleeping, he was reveling in the overwhelming feeling of completeness as if washed over him.