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I feel the cold, sharp knife cut through my skin. The blood starts to flow out from my legs. As I’m leaning against my wooden closet and looking up at the ceiling. My ceiling fan is off and there’s a couple of dead flies in it. I feel the warm air from the AC sting my cuts. I wince in pain and drop the bloody knife. I bite my lip to try and help the pain. I look back down at bloody knife and think to cut myself more. Just then I hear someone knocking at my door. I immediately start to panic and try to hide the knife. I shove it under my purple rug and hope that it’s hidden well enough. As I’m trying to find a good place to hide the cuts I hear someone start to talk on the other side of my dark purple door.
“ Beats, are you in there?”
“ YEAH! you can come in!” I blurt out. I hear my door unlock and see that a blue tote bag with a wave of dark blue on the bottom steps in. She looks around my room for a bit before looking down at me. I’m smiling up at her like a lunatic while my legs are bleeding out causing my light, fluffy purple carpet to turn a dark red. She looks down at me pitifully and sits down next to me.
“did you cut yourself again?”
Her words felt like I was shot in the heart. I feel a lump in my throat like a rock was stuck in it, I feel my eyes tear up and my lips start to quiver. I feel the warm water of tears flow down my face. Tote bag smiles soberly at me and pulls me into a hug. I’m sobbing in her chest while repeatedly saying I’m sorry she just strokes my back and nods. We stay like this for around 10 minutes. I pull back and see Tote bag smiling sweetly at me. My eyes are red and puffy.
“Do you feel better?”
I sniffled and responded
“y-yeah”
she stands up and dusts herself off.
“Ok, I’m gonna go grab the first aid kit and help bandage you up. Sounds good?”
I nod a yes in response. She blows me a kiss and leaves the room. Welp, it’s just me and my thoughts now… yippee. I thought about Tote bag, the way she always fidgets with her handles when nervous, the small acts of kindness she does. “ Why does she like me?” I think to myself.to be fair, I’m an absolute mess. She deserves better than some depressed, 21 year old that thinks life is overrated. “ do it.” The thought struck me off guard, I haven’t considered doing it for around two years now. I mean, it would benefit everyone else, especially Tote bag. Before I start to spiral even more I see Tote bag come back holding a green first aid kit and a bottle of rubbing alcohol. She sits down in front of me, setting the stuff to the side. She opens the latch on the first aid kit to reveal a bunch of medical supplies. She pulls out some cotton balls and proceeds to grab the rubbing alcohol. She pours a bit of it onto the cotton balls.
“Ok, this is going to hurt a lot but I don’t want your cuts to get infected.”
She starts to dab the cotton on my legs, the alcohol burns the cuts, I bite down on my lip to try and help redirect the pain. She occasionally looks up at me and asks if I'm alright,I always nod a quick yes. I taste something salty in my mouth and released that I was biting on my lip so hard that it started to bleed. A few minutes later, we’re finally finished with the rubbing alcohol. I breathe a sigh of relief and Tote bag chuckles at it. She looks through the first kit and pulls out what seems to be gauze. As she's trying to keep the gauze on my right leg to stay put I blurt out something
“ Why do you like me?”
She immediately looks up and asks me
“ What do you mean?”
She’s still holding the soft gauze in place while looking up at me. I look towards my right, I respond in a nervous tone.
“I mean like.. why did you ‘pick’me I guess…”
There's a couple minutes of silence, the only sounds being her wrapping the gauze around my legs. One of her hands is holding the gauze in place while she looks through the first aid kit for something. She starts to speak while still looking through the first aid,
“I didn’t ‘ pick you’ I just fell in love with you. Nobody's perfect and that’s ok! I’ll still love you no matter what!”
I noticed that she had pulled out something that looked like pink opaque tape. I roll my eyes and scoff at her.
“You? Not perfect? Come on, you're kind,beautiful and well… just perfect!”
A light blue blush covers her face and she rolls her eyes at me. She goes back to wrapping my legs with the pink bandages. We sat in silence for a bit, the only sounds were her wrapping the bandages around my bleeding legs. I looked down to see that she picked bright pink and green for the bandages. She looks up at me and smiles sweetly, she gets up and dusts off her hands.
“Ok, what do you want to do now?”
I look back up at her and think.
“Hmmm, I really want hot cocoa and to watch tv to be honest.”
“Sounds good! I’ll go work on the hot cocoa right now then.”
She walks from my room and waves me goodbye.
Tote bags pov
I start to walk over towards the communal kitchen. The kitchen has dark wooden floors, the cabinets and kitchen appliances are a dark grey with hints of black. The counter is marbled with whites, greys and blacks. I open one of the cabinets and look for some cocoa powder, there’s a couple bags of chips, some spices, prescribed pill bottles and cocoa powder. I reach for it and fumble to grab for a bit, I eventually grab and put it down on the counter. I read the instructions on the back and make a mental note of it. I walk over to the fridge and open the door, I grab a gallon of milk and walk over to the stove. I open one of the other cabinets to look for the measuring cup and a pan. I find them and put them onto the counter. I look back onto the cocoa box to see how much milk I have to use. It says to use two cups of milk for three servings. I grab the milk,the measuring cup and pour in about two cups into the measuring cup. I grab the pot, put it on the stove, pour in the milk and set the heat on low. I realize that I need to find a whisk or something to stir the cocoa in. I start looking in the kitchen drawers hoping to find one. Just as I find one, I hear someone else walk in. I looked up, holding the whisk to see that puzzle piece walked in and was rummaging though the cabinets looking for something. I walk back over to the stove and the milk so it doesn’t become chunky. They look over to me with a bunch of bags of chips in their arms.
“Oh! Hi Tote bag!”
“ Why do you have so many chips?”
I question it.
“Right! Mask was feeling down so I thought maybe hanging out with him would cheer him up!” “Awww, that’s really sweet of you.”
“Anyhow, I’m gonna get going so bye!”
They walk off carrying four family size bags of chips, I continue to stir the milk and grab the cocoa powder. I eyeball how much I need to pour in.A sweet, cocoa aroma fills the air. I look around in the cabinets for some mugs,I find some and pour in the cocoa. As I walk back towards Beats room, I overhear light chatter in some of the rooms. I walk into her room and see her sitting on the bed scrolling though the tv options. I set down the two cups of cocoa on her black, bedside table and sat next to her. After a bit, she finally chooses a rom-com movie. We spent the rest of the night watching the movie and drinking hot cocoa.