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Ryland Grace was not having a graceful day.
He had a petty argument with Simon this morning and even though he knew his partner didn’t mind his little fit, he felt bad after leaving the house in such a gloomy mood and loud footsteps. And he absolutely felt bad after seeing a glimpse of Simon’s face as he shut the door.
The day was really not going well. He had woken up with an ache in his stomach and a cloudy numbing feeling in his head. He told himself it was just because he’s close for the due heat, but never in his whole life felt this frustrated over something he couldn’t control. He knew since he was a young boy that his body wasn’t acting normal (or at least as normal as an omega should be) with his irregular heats and non-responsive behavior towards alpha pheromones. The only alpha pheromones he had reacted properly were Colt and Court, because he grew up with them and they were the only ones who his mind knew were safe enough. He had been meeting up regularly with doctors and had been to check ups enough that he felt normal, under controlled circumstances.
But nothing could’ve prepared him for the irritation he has to deal with every time his heat is close, and now he has done and saddened Simon while his partner was just trying to help him.
He texted Colt about the argument when the lunch bell rang, and his students, precious as they can be, knew his mood wasn’t up enough to quietly (and neatly) leave the classroom. Colt responded fast, since he was taking a break after a big movie and had been on a small vacation with Jody.
>> colt: its fine ry. we all know u dont actually mean those stuff
>>ryry: But I feel bad :(
>>colt: ryland. it’ll be okay. im 100% sure he doesnt mind at all
>>ryry: …
>>ryry: ..If you say so.
>>colt: i’ll drop by when we get back from LA alrite? been taking ur meds properly?
>>ryry: Mm hm. I’ll see you then. And yes, I take my meds everyday, Colton.
>>colt: oi dont use my full name. luv ya n see ya soon. jody says hi!
>>ryry: <3
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By the time he had finished with the last of his class for the day, he was agitated. His face is hot, his skin is burning, not in a way when the heat gets unbearable but in the way he feels sick whenever his body can't differentiate the instinct between stress and life threatening experiences. He ended up with a long loose thread on the sleeve of his sweater because he was unconsciously pulling it all day while teaching.
Looking at the young ones and being around their soft scents made him feel better somehow throughout the day. At least it’s better than dealing with adults who almost always question him whenever he’s around.
“What do you mean you can’t sense pheromones?”
“You can still smell my scent, yes?”
“You don’t know what they mean?”
“Your mind doesn't know but your scent says otherwise.”
He shut out his thoughts by cleaning up his table a little harsher, packing to leave the school. Walking up to his bicycle, he spotted the familiar silhouette leaning against the dirty wall next to the bicycle rack, strands of dark hair slipping over onto the strong facial features as Simon scrolled on his phone. His footsteps slowed down soon as he saw his partner, seemingly here to pick him up after his little tantrum this morning, probably worried.
He saw Simon’s nose flared, twitching a little with a sniff before looking up towards him, a small smile on his face.
“Hey.” His voice was soft, and it’s enough for Ryland’s nerves to relax as he quickly walked over to the other, already mumbling, “Si. I’m sorry about this morning. I was just.. Irritated for no reason and it wasn't fair for you when I just left like that. You know I tend to get weird, especially when my body just reacts like a freak-”
“Ryland.”
The warning tone in his voice got Ryland to shut up immediately, apology stuck on his tongue as he leaned forward slightly into Simon’s already opening arms. The alpha pushed a hand over Ryland’s nape, slowly massaging the base of his scalp where he could feel the tightness, his other hand resting on Ryland’s waist.
“You are perfectly normal, love.” Simon muttered into his ear as Ryland rested his forehead on the strong shoulder, inhaling the alpha’s faint scent of rust and earth. “Your body reacts the way it knows how to. You’re perfect as you are.”
When they got back home, Ryland curled up on the couch with his arms wrapped around his middle, the slow cramping already beginning as he pressed into the leather. Simon slipped into the kitchen quietly to make him tea, the clinking of ceramic and the smell of tea soothing the omega as he let out a soft sigh.
He thought of texting Rocky, to cancel the hangout tomorrow.
He and Rocky met at the same support group, for people with irregular patterns of problems with their secondary gender. They had the same problem, from being unable to ease around people to their bodies reacting wrong to different situations. They had become friends quickly with their shared problem and also interest in science. Luckily Rocky had met Adrian soon after, the beta who never triggered Rocky’s problems. They were also willing to help Ryland if he needed, which he politely declined.
He met Simon a few years after meeting his best friend, in a rundown bar while he was waiting for Colt. A random man was pressing onto Ryland with his issues, sniffing and smiling creepily as he crowded him. Right when Ryland was about to have a full blown panic attack, Simon appeared out of nowhere and chased away the stranger.
They had also become friends rather quickly.
And something “more” even quicker.
Hell, he hadn’t even let Court know about Simon. But knowing his brother and his.. questionable line of work, he probably knew about Simon and his background already.
The sound of footsteps followed by a warm hand on his shoulder made Ryland snap out of his thoughts as he slowly looked up, glasses tilted to an odd angle as he smiled and took the steamy cup out of Simon’s hand.
“Thanks..” He muttered softly while taking a sip, the warmth already soothing the ache in his stomach.
Simon joined him on the couch, arms already sliding around him as he pressed his face into Simon’s neck, wanting to shut down from the overwhelming signals his body had been sending him through the day. Simon’s scarred arm reached up, fingers curling into his messy blonde hair with a small tug as he slowly relaxed. Ryland’s glasses are pressing hard into Simon’s chest but both of them didn’t care as they sat together quietly. Ryland put away the warm cup onto the coffee table they built together, before pressing his warmed palms over his stomach.
Simon leaned down to give a kiss on top of his head as Ryland nuzzled under his chin, rough stubbles itching his skin in a good, familiar way.
“Do you want to call your brothers?” Simon asked in a soft tone, with a silent offer. There was one time when Ryland was so agitated Simon had to leave the house, calling Colt to come over to look after Ryland and stayed away until his heat was over. Ryland sobbed into Simon’s shoulder when he came back, with wet, slurry apologies even if Simon assured him everything’s alright.
“No..” Ryland shook his head, closing his eyes as he curled up closer into Simon's embrace. Ryland was a bit taller than Simon, right about an inch or two, but the alpha was broader in size and had shown him he could “handle” Ryland easily. “I'm alright. I talked to Colt earlier. He'll come visit soon.”
“Mmh,” was what Simon responded as he continued to massage Ryland’s scalp, occasionally running his fingers over his nape.
Ryland breathed in, uneasy as he glanced up slowly, lips pressed into a thin line. “I'm sorry about this morning.” He sighed, heart heavy.
Simon blinked, his hand stopping the motion in Ryland's hair which he already misses.
“It's alright, love. I know you were frustrated.” Simon leaned in to give a soft peck on the corner of his lips, putting a small smile on Ryland's face.
That was how Ryland was found half an hour later, curled up next to his partner with his face pressed into Simon’s chest, his glasses carefully removed and placed on the small coffee table by Simon.
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Colt returned from his vacation a week later, together with Jody, back to his little apartment in San Francisco that he bought for the sole purpose of staying in touch with Ryland. His brother turns into a fussy, grouchy man whenever the twins are away from each other for a long period of time, and Colt can admit he’s the same too even if the years of different occupations had made it better between them.
And.. Ryland got a partner now.
He headed out to Ryland’s apartment as soon as he rested well enough. He would’ve gone as soon as he reached home but Jody was firm with her words when it comes to his well being, especially after the Tom Ryder incident and the accident.
The dull pain crawled up slightly along his spine as his mind reminded him of his past. He pushed away the thoughts into the far corner of his brain and knocked the door, the initials R.G right underneath the room number.
Colt could hear steady footsteps approaching and braced himself to give his brother a big bear hug, a smile already forming on his face under the slight unkempt beard. He gave himself an excuse because “he just got back from a trip.”
The door creaked and opened up, Colt blinked and tilted his head down a bit to meet Simon’s eyes. Simon was in a soft, dark blue sweater, with a cat print on the chest. Colt noticed it looked a little too tight on Simon, and he was pretty sure the cat’s chat bubble was saying something sciency.
“Sup.” He said to the quiet man, rolling his shoulders back. He couldn’t help it, he wasn’t around enough to get used to Simon’s existence in his brother’s apartment.
Simon let out a soft grunt that sounded like a greeting before opening the door wider, letting the stuntman into the living room. The scent was already potent, Simon’s rusted earthiness overpowered by Ryland’s warm sandalwood. Simon shifted his body and jabbed his head towards the room in the corner, Ryland’s, and spoke finally, “It’s very close. He’s not feeling well.”
Colt sighed, nodding slowly with a slight raise of his hand hovering awkwardly before dropping it back to his side. He stepped over towards the faded yellow door, letting his footsteps be heard, before resting a hand on the smooth wood. He took in a big breath and knocked, three times and one after.
“Ry? It’s me, bud. Can I come in?”
Considering there wasn’t a shout or any indication that his visit wasn’t wanted, Colt pushed open the door and stepped into the room which was filled with the overwhelming scent of his brother.
“Hey Ry..” He whispered after stepping up to the bed, looking down at the figure curled up in double layers of blankets. One got little spaceships scattered on it, which was a gift from one of his student’s parents. He slowly sat down at the edge of the soft mattress, letting his hand rest on what he thought was the spot with Ryland’s head underneath.
He felt a dull thud in his heart when his brother’s head plopped out of the pile of blankets, eyes tired with bags under them, which are way darker than they should be. Ryland made a tired grunt to greet him, closing his eyes slowly after a short blink.
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Ryland was always in pain around this time. He has been since he was little. Ryland was the only omega in the family after their mother’s passing, and their father always targeted him for “not being the alpha son he deserves”. And for the worst, Ryland’s condition was complicated. Court and Colt were helpless when they first experienced the horror that was Ryland’s first heat. Their little brother was sick and crying, in pain and vomiting while their father laid drunk on the living room couch, beer still in hand.
So a 16 year old Court and a 12 year old Colt carried him to the hospital.
They memorized everything the nurses had told them, even if they were nothing but children also. Because Ryland’s body was refusing whatever an omega needed, the supplements, the pheromones and even the suppressants. The best solution was to let it all pass naturally.
So every four months Colt would sit next to his brother, listening to his pained groans, holding his hand if he’s allowed, to just be there. Like right now.
“Colt..” Ryland’s hoarse voice called out, before a pale hand pushed out of the blankets. Colt immediately held it, taking in a sharp breath when he felt how cold his skin was.
“I’m here,” Colt hushed, free hand reaching onto Ryland’s hair and giving it a rough ruffle. Ryland let out an irritated grunt, but didn’t pull away from him. “Simon..?”
“He’s outside. Guarding the door probably.” Colt sniffed, scrunching his face. “It’s still weird to see him casually moving around the apartment.”
“He likes you too,” Ryland said weakly with a small smile, his eyes were heavy again and he was mumbling into the pillow.
“Well, he better be. That guy’s built like a brick.”
Ryland snorted and huffed, slightly dipping back into the blankets with a whine. “He’s not built like a brick. He’s just.. strong.”
Colt shifted, his shoulders slumped and his face frowning faintly as he held Ryland’s hand tighter. He let a thumb rub Ryland’s knuckles slowly, offering a silent comfort. Ryland quieted down in a few minutes, relaxing back into the mattress with a low groan, his breathing slowing bit by bit.
“Sleep. I’ll be here.”
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Simon sat on the floor next to Ryland’s door, the faded yellow wood with small stickers of stars that were leftovers of his classes. He could hear the faint conversation between Ryland and his brother, the small laughter amongst the pained noises, which had reduced significantly since Colt’s arrival.
He knew he was not on their level yet. Could never be even if he tried. They were twins, together since birth, used to each other’s existence even before they understood the basic science of their bodies. Ryland’s body does not reject his twin’s like it does to Simon.
They were together for nearly a year now. They loved each other dearly, closely, and got past the difficult conversations and feelings. And Ryland tried so hard to give Simon everything he could.
Ryland still couldn’t handle being touched by Simon during his heat. The first time they tried, Ryland vomited all over his favourite carpet, sobbing apologies to Simon while hugging his stomach. They learnt after a while that they could talk to each other, interact, laugh, and smile.
As long as there’s a door in between them.
The soft steps followed by the door creaking as Colt stepped out after who knew how long. Simon was lost in his thoughts. Colt looked down and met his eyes, before grunting softly and jabbing a thumb towards the couch and walking a head.
Simon looked back to the slowly closing door, getting a whiff of his partner’s warm scent mixed in with the stunk of pain. He stood up and followed after Colt, who poured himself a glass of water and took a seat already. Simon took the chair across from the couch, where Ryland used to drape his sweaters over the back.
Colt cleared his throat after a long sip, relaxing back into the couch as he kept his eyes on Simon.
“So.. I heard about what happened. Can you fill me in?”
Simon blinked and hunched forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his knees as he rested his face in his palm, breathing slowly. He recalled that morning.
“There was a bit of rain that morning, just a spray. He woke up to the sound of it.” Simon took in another breath, before lifting his face to look at Colt, right into his frowning eyes.
“He was already restless, but I didn't know. I kept dragging him down back into the bed which got him to lash out. We uh.. We were shouting confused, and Ry.. he wanted to keep a distance.”
Simon shrugged, rubbing his tired eyes with the pads of his fingers. Colt made a sound after a while, a grunt of sorts, and sighed. “I know you’re downplaying this. But I know Ry. You know him too. So don’t take it the wrong way.”
Colt looked away from Simon and towards the kitchen, huffing, “He’s in love with you.”
Simon blinked, before letting his hands drop into his lap, staring at the open palms. Of course he knew, he could see the way Ryland looked at him while he’s making breakfast. When he helped with his stiff back, when he helped him with the scars on his arm.
Simon was equally in love with him too.
But Simon was born with blood and bones, his life was never meant to be full of grace.
✦°˖
Court looked down at the heart monitor alert on his phone. Ryland’s heart is beating fast but steady, just as expected. The numbers on his screen shift between 95 to 110 with a steady rise and fall.
He was somewhere in Minnesota, lying flat on a rooftop and waiting. His thumb hovered over the call button, fingers gripping the device hard enough to make the gloves he was wearing creak.
He hasn’t seen the twin in years.
Well, he did see them, just not in the normal way how brothers meet up. He was always there for major events, from their graduation to their specific achievements. From the shadows.
His mind couldn’t help but feel the guilt, uselessly providing him with the image of his little brothers, no older than 6, hugging his legs and hiding behind him when their father came home drunk. He shook his head, leaning into the scope and shot.
Another job well done.
His phone beeped again when he drove away from the building, into the long streets that no one noticed to check. Ryland’s heartbeat rose again, this time with a fluttered rhythm. He checked another software, seeing the blue dot and the red dot next to each other. Through the years, their meetings were brief and short, but he always left gifts behind.
Gifts that helped him keep his eyes on his brothers. And their partners.
He drove silently, his mind providing him with thoughts while the vehicle went on without any noise. The truth is, he missed his brothers. He missed them everyday, especially on days like this, where the twins have no one but each other to depend on. He remembered he was the pillar that was holding them together. Remembered the twinkles in the twins’ eyes when he bought them ice cream with the money he got from doing odd jobs. Remembered how he taught the 8 years old Colt how to throw hands if necessary. Remembered how Ryland asked him to read the book about animals when he was too tired to sleep.
He remembered carrying Ryland on his back and running to ER because his little brother was crying and in pain, and another one shocked enough to make no sound.
He remembered the way his blood drained when he saw the list of symptoms written under Ryland’s name on the doctor’s note.
He remembered teaching Ryland about differences between bodies and how his was a little special.
He pressed his thumb over the two dots on the screen, his car parked under a shaded alley. He took in a deep breath as Ryland’s heartbeat slowed down to steady and slow. He probably fell asleep now that Colt was there. This was good, knowing they had each other’s back. Because Court can protect them from afar.
He remembered coming home from a shitty workshop shift one day to see Ryland getting beat up to the point he was not responding. The gunshot. The police.
He remembered they’re safe and sound. Away from him.
Six started the engine again, already driving off to the next target.
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