Work Text:
“Hey Mumbo, how’s it going?”
“ACK!” Mumbo jumped a foot in the air, banging his head on the already-short ceiling of his hobbit hole. His hole was the regular size, for a hobbit, but Mumbo was definitely not the regular size. He towered over the other hobbits, a fact of much ridicule in his youth, but he was a spritely 45 now, and thus a young adult and could handle himself, and had not been bullied in quite a few years.
It helped that he had become somewhat more hermit-like, and rarely interacted with hobbits who weren’t Grian or xB.
Speaking of xB. . .
“xB, uh, what are you doing here? I thought you were spending some time working on your garden?” Mumbo rubbed his head and stood up shakily, looking through his now-open door, circular as is the current trend in the Shire, to the hobbit, a regular-sized one, standing in the doorway. xB was an odd one, even more isolated than Mumbo, living far in the outer reaches of the Shire. He was most known for consorting with Big Folk, of all beings, and for not talking to many other hobbits. He was also much like a Took, with his constant archery practice and always running around and doing things. Far too chaotic and not normal, if you asked the hobbits.
Then again, Mumbo wasn’t exactly seen as ‘normal’, either, as he was always cooped up in his hole, building little machines and experimenting.
“I was, but I found something interesting, thought you should take a peak.” xB walked towards Mumbo, holding out a hand and pulling him up.
A spark of panic shot through Mumbo. “Oh, xB, you know I don’t like dealing with the things you find ‘interesting’! Last time, you brought me to that weird hypnotist Big Folk! He scammed me out of the good silver I got from my cousin Bilbo’s moving sale! Grian wouldn’t stop laughing at me for weeks.”
xB smirked. “Ah, yeah Hypno was fun. Weird guy, but fun. But no, don’t worry, Cleo is perfectly normal, won’t scam you out of anything.”
Mumbo sighed. “Fine, I’ll go see whatever this is. As long as we can be back in time for second breakfast!”
“Oh, don’t worry about second breakfast,” xB chuckled slightly, and Mumbo nervously joined in.
He followed xB out as the other hobbit turned and started walking down the path. xB was smart, and would never put Mumbo in actual danger (now, if Mumbo was one of xB’s weird Big Folk friends, he’d definitely be worried about an arrow or cobwebs or some other prank. But xB wouldn’t do that to Mumbo, right?).
Mumbo’s place, nicknamed Hobbit HQ, was fairly isolated, only very close to Grian’s and, to an extent, xB’s places, leading to their being called ‘hermits’ by the other hobbits, so it didn’t take long for Mumbo and xB to leave behind any settlements. After around 20 minutes' walk, bare feet plodding solidly on the well-worn paths winding through the Shire, the two hobbits found themselves down by the banks of the Brandywise.
xB led the way to a small patch of trees aligned in a circle, pushing aside some branches and holding a gap open for Mumbo to pass through.
And Mumbo was greeted by. . . a sight, certainly a sight. His eyes brushed over the small clearing, occupied by a small, worn tent and a campfire, smouldering faintly in the early morning light, and alighted on the being standing before him.
They looked similar to a hobbit, same size and shape and all, but her clothes, the typical hobbit waistcoat and short trousers, looked worn and old. And her skin. . . now, hobbits came in all shades of white, tan and brown, although most tended to tan or darker, due to always basking in the sun outdoors, but not a single hobbit, that Mumbo knew of, had green skin. The strangeness was added onto by the small tusks jutting out of their mouth, and the brilliantly orange hair, far brighter than any ginger-haired hobbit Mumbo had seen.
“Hello, there. My name is Cleo, I would like to join the Shire. May I offer you some breakfast?” The being, orc? Goblin? Hobbit with some sort of skin mould? Held out a plate full of slightly-charred sausages alongside an old-looking loaf of grainy bread.
Mumbo squeaked out a, “Sure?” as xB strode forward beside him.
“Hey Cleo, how’s it goin’?”
“Ah, xB! Its been. . . good, I think. I think I burned those sausages you gave me, but I’m sure they’ll taste fine!” Cleo turned to Mumbo and pressed the plate into his hands, placing a fork gently on top.
“Thank you, uh, Cleo?” Mumbo awkwardly pulled a piece of bread off the loaf, and began chewing it. And chewing it. And swallowed thickly. That bread was, to say the least, not the best.
While he was focused on the bread, mind still blanking slightly at the abrupt introduction, Cleo had pulled xB aside and was whispering furiously. Not quietly, though.
“xB, I thought you said you were bringing a leader of the hobbits to talk to me! This guy’s a buffoon, a total spoon!”
“Don’t worry about it, Cleo. Mumbo has influence, and he’s a smart guy. He’s competent. Somewhat.”
What. Mumbo didn’t know whether to be insulted or complimented. xB thought he had influence? But he had also, apparently, made a horrible impression within the one-second conversation he had with Cleo. . .
“Uhm, I can hear you? And, I think I’m a fairly adequate hobbit!”
xB and Cleo stared at him for a few seconds, before Cleo turned back to xB.
“Fine, fine, I’ll give him a shot.”
And so, the Hermitcraft Bumbo Baggins Society was officially formed! As all good things are, with the breaking of bread amongst friends.
Their adventures span for many pages, consisting of many quests, minor incompetence, a countless amount of food halls, and a truly horrendous piece of artwork.
But, that’s a story for another time.