Chapter Text
September 23 2007, nine months from now on my 30th birthday, right as summer ends. I am going to kill myself
-
I had been standing here for almost 5 minutes now, the suffocating smell of acid wrapping around the cell in front of me had begun to climb through the bars and towards my nose, the prisoners body had long been taken away and all that was left was an empty, lifeless room.
Heroine.
The bastard had killed himself.
I couldn't help the agitated groan that escaped my lips at the thought. He had the gaul to take the easy way out, he got to die on his own terms rather than being killed in front of the public like he deserved. People like him disgust me.
"fuck..." I shook my head in an attempt to clear my thoughts. It didn't work.
Yukio Hamura was the man who died, He was 48, had been to prison at least 4 times for petty crimes throughout his life and was sentenced to death for 5 counts of premeditated murder. His case was an open book, hell he even admitted to it during the trial, I thought for sure he would get the punishment he deserved and yet, here I was staring at an empty cell.
"Standing here like an idiot isn't gunna change anything Shoji," I muttered to myself, the acidic smell engulfing the room making me gag, "Pull yourself together."
-
Leaving the cells gave me a good 5 minutes to clear my thoughts before I got back to the main part of the station, 'cuz of everything that had happened I would have a shit ton of paperwork to fill out now. I sighed again, this, combined with the lack of sleep I had gotten last night were adding up to be a killer combo.
"Shoji," the sound of a rather monotone voice caused me to stop walking, great, "You alright? Not to sound rude but you look like shit."
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying the will away the building agitation today had caused before turning around.
"Thanks Yuna, you really know how to brighten my day." The sarcasm in my voice was definitely noticeable.
Yuna was a colleague I tolerated. We weren't exactly close, and her oftentimes very blunt attitude was rather irritating, however she was level headed and, unlike me, didn't let her emotions get the better of her. I envied her for that. Although she was a fairly new recruit, having joined 2 years prior, Yuna managed to become a Sergeant in that time and I had to commend her that.
"Just pointing it out Shoji, if Eiji sees you looking like that he'll go ballistic. Your already in his bad books cuz ya quit therapy." She crossed her arms over her chest as if to emphasis her point.
'Cuz it doesn't do shit,' I thought but didn't vocalise.
Therapy had never worked, the people who claimed to be professionals in 'helping you though your trauma' were all just bullshitting. All of em' couldn't care less about me or my life, they would give subpar advice and then demand extortionate amounts of money. Doesn't matter how many times Eiji would force me to go it wouldn't change anything.
"Im fine, your just overthinkin' it"
Yuna only sighed, muttering something incoherent to herself as I walked away.
-
After a few more conversation I would've rather avoided, most of them being about my apparent 'declining health', I made it to my desk. Sitting down allowed me a few seconds to finally relax, god today had sucked ass, so much so I had started to believe to universe had something against me. I leaned forward in my chair, placing my head against the cool plastic of the desk and closed my eyes. The heavy fatigue that had been lingering all day suddenly hit me full force, I really did need to pull my shit together huh?