Chapter Text
Chapter 1: The City of Twilight (Impulse)
Impulse had never had an easy life. He was born a slave and was used to his life being valued as only a unit of work that could be done. As a child he had worked on a farm harvesting root vegetables, pulling weeds and hauling water. It was hard work but it made him stronger.
Then he was sold to a mason. Days of hauling bricks and mortar. Seeing how things were put together, understanding it more than the apprentices did. A slave did not understand he just did as he was told. Impulse didn’t need to be taught that lesson twice.
Then he was sold to a general as a sparing mate for him and his underlings. He could never fight back but he learned how to take a hit. He learned how to survive.
Finally he was sold to the fighting arena as a gladiator. He was told that if he won enough he would earn his freedom but Impulse didn’t believe that. If he won too much he’d be too popular for them to let him leave. So he fought just enough to survive even if he was starting to wonder why. He didn’t want to die but at the same time he knew that no one would miss him when he was gone and sooner or later he wouldn’t be strong enough.
He had been just a little too slow in his last fight and was now in the infirmary getting a wound in his side stitched up.
The healer wore a white jacket and seemed pretty young to Impulse but he did good work with the stitches.
“You shouldn’t fight again for 3 weeks or this is going to come open.” The healer told him
Impulse shook his head. “I have food tokens for 15 days. I won't be able to wait longer then that.”
The healer took off his glasses and wiped them on his jacket. “I’d prefer 4 weeks but you could die if you tear those stitches.”
“I will die if I get too hungry to fight and if I don’t fight I don’t eat.” Impulse knew the kind of world he lived in and it wasn’t one where he could take that long to recover.
“Well rest as much as you can…you can head back to your quarters.” The healer looked bothered by all this. He was young still and probably still thought the world could be fair.
Impulse returned to his room. It was a tiny stone cell with a mat on the floor to sleep on. He had a few pegs he could hang his leather armor and sword on. He had a small crate that held his clothing and doubled as a chair.
He took off his armor and stretched out on the mat to attempt to sleep. Maybe if he skipped a meal now and then he could make the meal tokens last longer.
Just as he was starting to drift off a commotion from outside woke him up. He followed it to the food hall where he saw something he never expected to see.
In a white robe from head to toe was a figure with a silver mask with a sun bust pattern on it. A seer. Not just any seer but the seer for the god of light. Impulse felt spell bound by the sight. Everyone had heard the stories, a seer showing up to pluck someone away to be a bride to one of the gods and live a life beyond imagining.
Of course there were some that felt that these people would be sacrificed instead but most dreamed of being picked in this way. Impulse would never say it out loud but it was something he had dreamed about almost all his life. He just never expected to be face to face with a seer.
He couldn’t tell if the seer was a man or woman but they held a bright white feather and it seemed to be pulling them around. A few people tried to step in the path of the seer but they stepped around those people with no hesitation.
Each step brought the seer closer to Impulse and part of him wanted to run away even as he felt glued to the spot. Finally the seer stopped in front of him and reached out to tuck the feather in Impulse’s hair. It stayed put and a murmur broke out in the crowd. The seer and the other members of the church with them bowed to Impulse and it made him feel very uncomfortable.
“Bride of the god of light and healing it is an honor to meet you. If you would please come with us to the temple it will be our privilege to prepare you to meet your betrothed.”
“I…” Impulse wanted to object that they surely had the wrong person but the words would not come out so he simply nodded and followed after the seer. No one said anything about him leaving, not even the slave master. No one could deny the church and a seer not even a king so a slave had no room to object.
In front of the arena Impulse was brought to a fine carriage made of dark wood etched in silver. Only he and the seer got into the carriage. It surprised Impulse a little the seer turned their back to him and replaced the silver mask with a wooden one that covered the top half of their face.
“So what name do you go by in this incarnation?” The seer asks him
“Impulse.”
“Impulse? I think that one has come up before. It’s always so strange how names will repeat like that, not every lifetime but enough of them. My name is Seer Nubrain and you are now in my care.” The voice was that of a woman but Impulse still couldn’t make out enough of her features to tell otherwise. “What questions do you have of me?”
Impulse’s eyes went to the floor of the carriage. Having someone of such high status talk to him like that felt like a trap. “Are you sure you have the right person?”
She laughed but there was no mockery in it. “It is my job to bring together hearts bound by fate so tightly even the gods don’t understand. I’m very good at that job and if I could be wrong the token proves it.” She pointed to the feather.
Impulse reached up and took the feather in his hands. It was so white and pure he felt like he was getting it dirty somehow.
“A token of the god of light and healing. If anyone who is not a seer or the god’s bride touches that they will be burned. Oh I’m going to need that back by the way so my successor has a chance to find your next incarnation. “
She pulled out a sturdy box that unlocked when she touched it. Inside were velvet lined trays full of the most strange collections of items Impulse had ever seen. She took the feather and placed it in a section it was perfectly sized for she then took out several items and held them in her hand for a moment. A coin, a dried starfish, a stalk of wheat, and a black flower. She shook her head however and put them all back
“It felt like there might be another bride in the arena but I can’t tell whose. I will have to go back after we get you sent off. How come you haven’t asked me what is going to happen to you?”
Impulse shrugged. “Knowing won’t change it.”
“You’re right but most people want to know all the same. The marriage ceremony will be held on the night of the full moon which is in 5 days. Until then you are our honored guest. The ceremony itself will bring you to a place between our realm and that of the gods. There you will have to spend one year and then you can decide to enter the realm of the gods or return here.”
“Wait…I could come back?”
Nubrain nodded. “In the whole history of the church it has happened twice that someone has returned after that year. When that happens the token is destroyed and we eventually find another one for that god. Finding new tokens happens more often though. I have two now that I don’t know who they belong to yet.”
“How could you have one not linked to a god?” Impulse’s curiosity got the better of him.
“Typically when a new god is born before they meet their fated bride for the first time. My job requires me to listen very closely and follow the pulls of fate. Sometimes even I’m surprised where it leads me.”
“I imagine you were surprised to find a slave tonight?”
She shrugged. “Not really it has happened before for your past incarnations and others. The luck of your situation and the quality of person are not really linked after all.”
“That’s easy for someone like you to say.”
“Do you think I was born a seer?”
“You weren’t?”
“I wasn’t born a slave like you but I was born to a modest family. Born with a broken body that refused to do as my mind wanted. A body I felt betrayed by. Things are much better now but I was just as trapped as you were for a time. I’m sure you will understand things soon enough, just don’t hesitate to ask questions.”
Impulse didn’t know what to say and at that moment the carriage came to a halt. The door was opened and Nubrain got out, taking the box of tokens with her and motioning for Impulse to follow her.
He had seen the temple from the outside before but people like him didn’t go inside it. There were rich tapestries everywhere depicting things and symbols Impulse didn’t know. He wasn’t educated after all and couldn’t read. He wasn’t sure he even knew the names of all the gods and goddesses.
They went through courtyards and moved deeper into the grounds of the temple. They pass several small chapels but Impulse feels compelled to stop in front of one with the sunburst pattern. He didn’t know why he stopped but this was not the first time such a thing had happened to him.
When he finally is able to pull himself away he realizes that the seer had stopped and was waiting for him.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled looking down.
She laughed. “You can’t help it. You feel him here. Any place a god is worshiped a tiny speck of them exists and on some level you sense that. If I wanted to avoid you stopping we could have gone the long way around.”
She led him to a large room with comfortable seating and a section for meditation with several doors off it.
“These are your chambers. I’m just across the hall if you require anything. You may leave your chambers but I wouldn't suggest wandering alone. This place can be quite a maze when you’re used to it.”
“Which one?” Impulse asked, pointing to a few of the doors.
The seer made a sweeping motion with her arm. “All of this. This is your audience chambers, then bed room, bathroom, private dining, dressing room, study, gardens etcetera. Would you like to start with a meal or a hot bath?”
“A hot bath?” the idea of bathing in hot water was confusing.
“Good idea. Start with a bath and you can eat later.”
She summoned some attendants who prepared the bath for him. Impulse felt swept along as he was ushered into a bath of hot water with all kinds of soaps and perfumes. Then given soft clothes to wear. A simple cut and pure white made of something called cotton but it felt like the finest silk to Impulse.
Then a feast was waiting for him. Chicken and roasted vegetables with warm fresh bread and berry tarts for dessert.
“Excuse me…how long should I make all this last for?” Impulse asks one of the attendants. This was more food than he would typically have in four days. He could manage for 5 if he needed to.
The attendant looked a little confused. “Well breakfast is at dawn but if you get hungry in the night any of us would be happy to fetch you something from the kitchens but it won’t be warm. Do you want me to get you something now before the cooks retire for the evening?”
“No…no this is fine.”
Impulse ate every bite of food even though the temptation to hide some of it away was very strong. Then he tried to go to sleep but the bed was too soft so he spread a blanket on the floor and slept there.
The next five days were quiet and the most peaceful Impulse could remember happening his whole life. There was so much food each meal he started to feel this strange sensation that he thought might be feeling full. His wound was treated several times and healed much faster than it normally would. He was given games and books to past the time but he didn’t really know what to do with them.
He had the time to think. Something his mind had never stopped doing despite how dangerous it was for a slave to do.
Finally the night of the full moon came and it was time for the ritual. Impulse still wasn’t sure if he was going to be killed but he figured if he was he couldn’t complain after the comfort of the last 5 days.
All the high priests had gathered in the chapel to the god of light. Impulse was led up and seated in a chair before the altar. A strange smell was coming from the braisers and it made Impulse feel light headed.
Nubrain handed him a crystal goblet full of a silver liquid.
“Ambrosia, it will allow you to enter the city of Twilight but it will make you sleep deeply as well. Drink and know that when you wake you will be with your betrothed.”
Impulse had nothing to lose so he reached out and took the goblet and down the contents. He remembered handing the goblet back and then…nothing.
---
Impulse woke feeling warm and sheltered in a way he had never felt before. Before he opened his eyes he could feel fingers running through his hair and supporting his neck. His eyes flickered open and met the most striking blue eyes ever.
Attraction was a luxury that Impulse could never indulge in as a slave so he had never felt it before and now he was being hit with more than he knew how to process. Pure white wings, strong arms, such a handsome face and thouse eyes that seemed to look right into him. That wasn’t even counting the gentle glow that came from him.
He was looking at the most beautiful man…most beautiful being Impulse had ever seen. Then he realized that not only was he looking at this beautiful man he was currently in his lap being held like he was somehow precious.
“There’s my Dipple-dop.” He said with such adoration
Impulse mumbled something and tried to get up. He was too close, way too close.
“Hey, hey, not so fast.” The arms pulled him closer into a hug that Impulse never wanted to leave and wanted out instantly at the same time. “You’re still groggy. Don’t hurt yourself.”
He was stronger than Impulse, of course he was, he was a god. Impulse shut his eyes and held still. He had no idea what he was going to do.
“Can you tell me what name you go by in this life?” The god asks gently
“Impulse.”
“Oh I always liked that one. It really does suit you. You can call me Skizz.”
“Skizz?”
“Way better than the god of light and healing and my original name is in a dead language you couldn’t pronounce. Last time you tried you got as far as Skizz and that is what stuck. I like it because it’s kind of like my Dipple-dop named me.”
“You called me that before…” Impulse kept his eyes closed but knew he was in trouble as even Skizz’s voice was attractive to him.
“You have a different name every time you incarnate so it is a nickname. All of us use one to refer to our soulmates. My Dipple-dop, Tango’s Rancher, Martyn’s Muse.”
“Soulmate? I’m sorry there has to be some mistake. I don’t think I am who you think I am.”
“Of course you are Dipple-dop. I will always know you no matter what. My heart knows your heart. I know you will need some time to adjust and you can have all the time you need. As much as I’ve missed you I would never rush you into something you are not ready for. I do have to let you know something. If you ever want to shortcut things all you have to do is kiss me. You will get some of your past memories back, not everything, a mortal mind couldn’t handle all that but enough of them. You always deny it for so long but then you’re so happy when you finally do kiss me.”
“Kiss?” Impulse attempts to get to his feet again and this time Skizz lets him go. He takes one step and starts to get wobbly but steady hands catch him.
“Hey easy love. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. I know it can be a bit overwhelming and that I can be a lot. If you want I can leave you alone to adjust. I’ve missed you so much but I'll understand if that is what you want.”
Impulse wanted to kiss him. Only he didn’t understand why he wanted that. Well that was not fully true. As attractive as Skizz was, surely everyone who was in his presence wanted to kiss him.
That thought made him feel unsettled. He didn’t like the idea of anyone else kissing Skizz but that was silly. It made no sense.
“I don’t know what I want.” He finally admitted.
“I was going to show you the villa and the city but that can wait. How about a nap and some cuddles?”
“I…” Impulse had never napped before and certainly never cuddled with anyone but his body still felt heavy. He nodded mutely and decided to just trust that Skizz knew what he needed better than Impulse did.
Skizz smiled and then picked Impulse up in a bridal carry bringing him into a bedroom that felt familiar and inviting. The bed was soft but he had no trouble falling asleep with warm arms around him and fingers carding through his hair.
It was the deepest most restful sleep of Impulse’s whole life.
---
Over the next few days Impulse felt more like himself physically. His wound was fully healed now and he didn’t question it. His mind would still get a little fuzzy though when those blue eyes would look at him too closely.
He still didn’t know what he was going to do. Skizz was so affectionate and touchy with hugs and cuddles or just holding his hand. He always insisted that Impulse let him know if did anything he didn’t want.
That was the problem. Impulse did want it, he just didn’t feel like he deserved it. It was like his body had been starved for touch, Skizz’s touch, and the more he got the more he wanted.
Skizz spoiled him with affection and anything he thought Impulse might want. When he learned Impulse didn’t know how to read he started to teach him confident that Impulse would master it in no time.
The villa they were staying in was like a palace to Impulse but Skizz insisted it was nothing like their real home in the realm of the gods. Skizz offered to show him around the city but Impulse declined for now. The view from the windows let him see the glimmering city nestled high in the mountains. The clouds below dimmed the light leaving the days in a constant glow of twilight.
Impulse was worried about running into any other gods even though he knew there would only be a dozen or so in the city right now.
One morning as he ate breakfast with Skizz the decision to meet another god was made for him.
“Skizz! Skizz! Skizz!” An excited voice shouts as a flame rushes into the room.
Looking closer Impulse realized it wasn’t a flame but a man whose hair was on fire. He had red eyes and pale skin and a tale that was a blur of excitement.
“Morning Tango, where’s the fire?” Skizz chuckles at his own joke and the other god rolled his eyes.
“Rancher! It’s my Rancher coming next. Can you believe it?”
“Wow really? That soon? It’s only been 80 years right?”
“84 yeah. He’s never come back to me this fast.”
Impulse choked. “Isn’t that incredibly long?”
“My Rancher usually makes me wait around 300. This is nothing.”
“What?” Impulse’s eyes went to Skizz. He wanted to ask how long he had waited but didn’t care.
Skizz seems to know however. “This time it was 58 years but 50-60 is pretty normal. Rancher is just an exception.”
“I don’t get it. I’m only 34…”
“Souls don’t always reincarnate right away. Or you might have had a whole life in the middle where a seer never found you…we don’t really know.”
“But you’re gods…shouldn’t you know everything?”
Skizz laughs. “I wish. We certainly know a lot more than mortals do but even we are bound to the whims of fate. Oh where are my manners? Dipple-dop this is Tango or as I call him Top, the god of the hearth and the forge. He’s my best friend and like a brother to me. Top you know this is Dipple-dop of course. He goes by Impulse this time around.”
“Pleasure to meet you again Impulse. Normally I wouldn’t bother you two while you were getting reacquainted but I just had to share the great news.”
Impulse was pleased to realize that the feelings he got from Skizz didn’t come from Tango as well. He certainly didn’t want to kiss Tango which meant it wasn’t a general thing with gods.
Tango seemed friendly enough and didn’t intimidate Impulse which is more than he could say about the next god he met.
It was the afternoon and Skizz had to step out for a little while. He promised to be gone for only an hour but Impulse could use the alone time to think.
He was barely alone a few minutes when a punch to his arm startled him from his thoughts. There was a woman there, with red hair and green eyes and dressed like a…sailor?
“Quit overthinking things.” She scolds.
“Wait, what… who are you?”
“That doesn’t matter, just quit overthinking things and just act. I’ve seen you do this too many times now. You waste too much time thinking through everything and he won’t push you. Just hurry up and kiss him already.”
“I can’t just kiss someone I barely know.”
“Ugggg you are such an idiot! You are both idiots. I have the two most idiot dads in the universe.”
“Dads? What?” but just as quickly as she had shown up she had left leaving Impulse confused and less sure of what he was going to do.
When Skizz came back he didn’t mention the visitor, not 100% that it hadn’t been some sort of delusion at this point and not sure how to explain it.
Skizz brought him flowers, yellow and purple once. Impulse didn’t know what they were but they seemed familiar and smelled so nice. “You didn’t have to…”
“Of course I did. Anything for my Dipple-dop.”
Skizz smiled and Impulse really, really wanted to kiss him but help back. It was too soon, far too soon.