Work Text:
• Akutagawa woke up like usual , well not exactly since he’d already been up staring at the ceiling for 2 hours prior
• Rubbing the crust from his eyes he did his best to close the door as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb Gin who had just come back from a months long mission in Siberia
• With a sigh his feet travelled along the cold wood to the kitchen only to be afflicted with a sight worse than death itself ! He’d stared down the barrel of enemy gunfire, been on the precipice of demise countless times and managed to not only survive but thrive as the port mafias rabid dog but nothing could’ve prepared him for this …
• You, his twin dancing ! this early in the fucking morning ! Without a care in the world just casually moon walking while twirling a spatula around like a makeshift microphone ! Maybe it was all the chemicals they’d huffed in Kajis lab ? Or perhaps they’d been infected by a cognitive consuming parasite that was slowly degenerating their brain. Yes ! That’s could be the only plausible explanation for such a foolish display , prancing around in childish panda pyjamas !
• Once reader locked eyes with Akutagawa it was over, all his breath had disappeared from his already weak lungs while a pair of scrawny arms clasped him in a chokehold
• “Good morning ! Ryuu !” They said with the sickeningly sweet smile “How’d you sleep ?”
• “In exactly 2 and a half hour intervals”
“Well that’s not healthy at all !” They exclaimed maintaining the same upbeat tone since no amount of convincing or slideshows would change their brothers habits and instead opted for sliding him breakfast ! Two eggs and 3 pieces of bacon arranged to look like a smiley face.
• He was not amused
• A few dashes of hot sauce and flipping the bacon later the nutritional face now looked like it had been through hell and back “Look ! It’s like eating your victims !” Predictably this did little to lift his spirits, it was safe to say Ryuunosuke was not a morning person and only sneered at the breakfast plate before taking a small nibble
• “So What’d’ya think ? I added chilli oil and spring onion this time !”
• “It is more acceptable than before. Well done. And What’d’ya is not a word, it’s what do you”
• Reader saw no point in letting pronunciation ruin their mood and went back to boogying out to MJ
• 🎶Billie Jean is not my lover ! She’s just a girl who claims that—AFJRIWIKFLGJ !!!!”
• All of a sudden reader was hoisted into mid air and their headphones had slipped off their head ! No matter how much they flailed and bit Rashōmon held its iron, like a mother grabbing its naughty kitten by the scruff of its neck. Their face contorted into a pout that only made them look more cat like. But this didn’t illicit even a drop of sympathy
• After being unhandled and set securely back down on the ground the pair followed their usual routine and off to work they go. The walk to the port mafia headquarters wasn’t a long one, maybe 30 minutes at most but this time was typically occupied by silence only filled by the jingling of many keyrings and clips dangling from readers messenger bag before her and Aku went to their separate entrances.
• It wasn’t that Akutagawa was embarrassed necessarily by you more like he and Gin had a reputation to keep up. If anyone found that the ruthless battalion leader of the black lizards and the Port Mafias black fanged hell-hound was related to such an upbeat individual it could lessen their influence and thereby hinder their work. Not to mention it’d make you a clear target for disgruntled enemy organisations or the armed detective agency. Even dazai knowing about your relation was far too grave a risk for someone who couldn’t reasonably defend themself without adequate prep time.
• Into the lemony smelling lab you go, Kaji was hunched over several big industrial cases counting all his lemon shaped devices with his lemon themed pencil since Mori had tasked him with destroying the guilds base (ship) of operations
• “Morning !” You called skipping forward to help with preparation
• “Hmm ? Oh good you’re here ! Wait wait wait I’ve been practicing my speech for when the guilds ship gets turned into smithereens ! Give me your honest opinion !”
• He then proceeded to drag a stool screeching across the floor which he hoisted one foot on and raised a fist into the air
•“I suppose having faith is a kind of duty for clergymen like you but the very core of science always lies within its doubts !” His soulless eyes gleamed and enlarged themselves to look like that of a puppy desperately seeking its mothers approval
• “Bravo ! Bravo ! Encore !” You chanted wiping fake tears from your eyes
•. Then the lab filled with lackies coming to load the crates of lemons on the cargo plane.
• “Why can’t I go with you ? Pleaseeeeeee ! I want to unleash destruction ! It’s not fair !”
• “Oh dry your tears little lemon drop ! Unless you’re suddenly impermeable there’d be no way for you to make it out of this mission alive. Besides the boss doesn’t want any man power lost with all these new organisations running around”
• You pouted and slumped back to your desk to review the notes on the chemical weapons Mori demanded asked for, if you mixed the solutions right they should be able to create a hardening substance that would leave the enemy stuck and vulnerable for attack.
• For something that looked so easy in the movies it was surprisingly difficult to replicate. The only time this experiment has been a success was when the mixture was heated to exactly 70.65°C under extreme pressure but even then it was only a small amount. For the batch Mori wanted it would cost a pretty penny, maybe you should just tell him it was a fruitless endeavour but then again the boss wasn’t exactly a foreigner to science himself and you liked your head attached to your neck
• The hours went by and you did little more than slowly heating some chemicals in a flask for the past two hour, so for entertainment you decided to finish off some problems Kaji had left lying about on his desk. Yes you were that bored you resulted to doing maths voluntarily
• “So if *insert hard numbers*
• *knock knock*
•“hmm ? Come in !”
• Gin and Ryūnosuke slither into the lab with the older of the two having a hand firmly over his nose to block the aggressive smell of citrus. Gin gave you a smile through her mask while making a b-line to the fridge to retrieve their bentos
• She was relieved that you could cook, not that her or Ryuunosuke couldn’t it’s just that you simply had more free time
• Ryuu skulked over to the whiteboard which had you transfixed, it was messy and the handwriting barely legible but his eyes did their best to find an answer
•“Don’t bother. You won’t solve it, I’ve been at it for a while now and still came up dry”
•His molars grit together like old rusting gear groaning, lithe fingers curled into a fist while the tendrils of his Rashōmon coiled into sharp needles
• “What is that supposed to mean ?!”
• Quickly you backed off with both arms in a surrender
• “Hey you know I didn’t mean it like that”
• “Like what ? Like I’m incapable ? Inferior ?!”
• Before anything else could happen Gin thankfully stepped in between you two and placed a gentle hand on his black coat which seemed to calm him down for now
• His coal like eyes connected with yours and though to average person they would’ve appeared soulless you could see the tint of sorrow and remorse
• “I am …………………………………….. sorry. I’ll leave that anger for the enemy”
• oh now that piqued your interest
• “You’re gonna go hunt down the guild too ?”
• His posture returned to its usual proud state
• “indeed they shall know the wrath of darkness”
• You couldn’t help but excitedly giggle and slid over to him, placing a head on his bony shoulder
• “You know how you’re the best big brother in the whole universe ?”
• Just from that devious sparkle in your eye he could guess what the request would be. Maybe it was your inexperience in slaughter that lead you to become like this. You may have had some experience with dynamite but that and the art of murder were two very distinct things. Anybody could through TNT, it simply destroyed its surroundings and everything in it human or not. But to take life yourself, to murder with your own hands was an act Ryuunosuke was sure ripped the soul from its body, to snuff out someone else’s humanity was to sacrifice a piece of your own.
• “So if any of them are cute could pretty please give them my number ?” Ahh yes instead of craving death and destruction you instead craved the attention of attractive people usually in the form of cartoonish drawings from those silly little picture books you read but as of late this desire seemed to trickle into the real world
• “You may not fraternise with the enemy ! And that’s final ! Understand ?!” He asked now eyeing both you and Gin, worried that your lovesick antics would soon infect your younger sister
• Even with her mask the blush creeping its way up on her cheeks was evident enough to get a giggle outta you, little did he know she’s already been infected by a certain metal manipulating ginger. But that was a conversation for another day
• “That’s hypocritical ! You and that weretiger always talk to each other”
• “The difference is me and Jinko are not flirting !”
• At this point he was just being grouchy and stormed off snatching his food on his way out, he seemed more angry about this than problems on the board. Gin just patted your head before retiring, probably to hirotsu office
• Finally work was over and you could go home ! You arrived with a two bags of Chinese food and laid everything out like a feast. A tub of noodles, some moon cakes, dumplings, stir fry and honeyed pork ! It wasn’t long after the other two emerged at the smell of dinner. Ryuus pale hand gravitated towards the pork first but you slapped it away
• “No food for either of you until you do the dishes and laundry”
• Gin had already made her way to the kitchen but Ryuu felt like picking a fight today“We’ll do it later”
• “You always say that and then I end up doing it !” Nevertheless his hand wandered back so in return he got stabbed with a plastic fork
• A suspicious smirk crawled onto his lips and he rattled around into the abyss of his coat before whipping something out
• “Would THIS change your mind” before you was the newest volume of your favourite romance manga ! You were gonna just pick it up this weekend but this was even better. Like lighting you snatched it from his hand in exchange for the honey crisped bacon “I thought that’d do the trick”