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Sometimes, Daniel dreams. In his dreams, Jack never moved to Washington. Daniel never lobbied to go to Atlantis. In his dreams, they spend every night together, wrapped up in passion and each other. They awake every morning smelling of sex and sweat and the walls echo with their laughter and bickering as they move through their morning routines.
But while dreams teach, they aren't real and some lessons are harder than others.
"Meet me halfway on this, Daniel," Jack had said.
"Stay in this galaxy," Jack had meant.
Daniel knew no matter how many times they halved the distance between them, they'd never meet. He'd told Jack so.
"That doesn't even make sense." Jack had said over the phone. Daniel had had to imagine him standing in a room Daniel had never seen and the distance had seemed so much farther than before.
Daniel's epiphany comes while buying eggs and coffee and Fruit Loops. A line on the cover of a travel magazine near the check out mocks him for his stubbornness. He stares at it until the checker gets his attention. In his car, he pulls out his phone and looks at it while wondering how he could have missed something so very simple.
"I can't meet you halfway, Jack," Daniel says.
"I won't risk losing you, Jack," Daniel means.
"Daniel. I hate this," Jack tells him.
"Daniel. I love you," Jack means.
"I can't meet you halfway because that would mean we aren't in the same place." Daniel watches two birds fight over a french fry in the parking lot. A third sneaks in and steals it away from them.
"Once again, Daniel, I have no idea what you're talking about." Jack sighs and Daniel wonders what his morning had been like.
"Paradoxes. I'm talking about paradoxes and journeys and that if we're already going in the same direction we can't meet halfway." Daniel thinks he probably could have put that better.
"Same direction, huh?"
"Yes."
"Okay. I can live with that. Any chance you might be able to wander over to my side of the road this weekend?" Jack says.
"I need to taste you. I need to feel you inside me," Jack means.
"I think I can manage that. It's not that far." Daniel says.
"I need to be with you. I need to feel you when you come." Daniel means.
He wonders if he'll dream tonight.