Chapter Text
Being Spider-Man and running a popular YouTube channel sounds a lot easier than it actually is. Like a lot easier. Like so much easier that Coy really really really wishes he lived in that belief. But he doesn’t.
And- listen- it would be a lot easier than Coy is making it if he just told his friends that he was Spider-Man. Then, at least, he wouldn’t have to sneak into the goffice and check every video without anyone knowing to ensure there wasn’t anything to give his identity away. Or have the most inconsiderate, inconsistent, idiotic excuses for why he has to ditch them during filming. Or have to lie to the people he lived with and, subsequently, his best friends.
Then, yeah, Coy supposes you could say it was easy. But again, he hadn’t done that, so it was not easy.
Now was one of those times where he’d had to make a brash quick exit whilst filming. The group had been in the middle of filming a video where they saw how many free samples they could get from Costco. Coy had to get a membership so they could all pair off into duos so he and Anthony had been getting his picture taken when a raging lunatic of a villain crashed through the walls and started blowing stuff up. Which- why? But anyway, Coy had to make a quick exit from Anthony, something he’ll feel immensely sorry about later, which was honestly super easy seeing how panicked everyone was. Scrambling around for exits and trampling over others.
To be honest, he wasn’t sure where Anthony had gone during all the chaos. He just knew he needed to get in some secluded area, suit up, and fight this guy. Supposedly he’d been swept away with the crowd and brought out to safety, along with Hanbon and will- he couldn’t think about then right now. Not with a bad guy to take down.
That all led him to now. In the middle of a semi-burning Costco with a guy in a cape. Now, this guy has somehow managed to make a flame thrower 3x as powerful as a regular one, and subsequently3x as big. Not to mention he was wearing a bright yellow cape! Like who even still does that? Coy was sure he’d never be caught dead in a cape. Rather his fancy suit that he’d designed himself.
A light green suit with navy embroidered embellishments- a spider on his chest and small stars surrounding it, complete with navy running down the side of his suit and down his arms, and outlining a webbing pattern on his suit and mask. It was something he’d spent weeks designing and making, something he was tremendously proud of. Something he became shy and giddy when others complimented it. It was his, one of the first pieces of clothing he’d made- and was it absolutely insane for that to be the first thing he ever hand designed and crafted? Yes, but there was just no way he could keep using a ski mask and hoodie to conceal his identity.
So, here Coy was, in his gorgeous suit standing across from this random guy in a shitty cape he’d probably bought from Target wielding a huge flame thrower.
“Hey man!” He yelled to get his attention as the guy was very much still focused on the burning sample stand, “what do you think you’re doing with that?” Coy cocked his head to side to emphasise his confusion. “Aren’t you a little small to hold that?” Not that anyone could see or probably cared, but under the mask Coy was grinning. His dumb, and when he says dumb- he means very stupid, quips and cringey jokes created a confidence he wouldn’t be able to achieve if he just beat up the bad guys silently or like some justice warrior.
Coys presence must’ve rattled the guy so much he actually faltered his grip on the comically large and nearly dropped it. The guys jaw seemed to also drop before he swallowed loudly. “Woah.. you’re like- your Spider-Man!” It seemed the guy had equal amounts of excitement and fear in his eyes.
“Yup!” He nodded widely, stepping closer to the guy, “what’s your name?” The fire still burned around them. Coy was almost 100% no one else was in the building- no one to safe but this lunatic. And to do that he had to 1) get this guys hands off of that flame thrower, 2) get him out of this burning Costco, and 3) send him off to jail.
“Uh- I’m- um.” Coy could see the guys brain actively spinning to find a random name- clearly he had not planned for this at all. He sighed, “just tell me your real name, I don’t need some fake super villain name.” The excitement/fear had somehow turned to wonder as the guy lowered his flame thrower to speak.
“I’m Dan.” It was much quieter then anything before- someone different might’ve struggled to hear it but thanks to Coys super hearing he caught it.
Coy took another step, “well Dan, I’m sure there’s a perfectly normal explanation as to why you’ve tried to exploded a Costco on a random Wednesday morning but for you to explain that to me, I need you to give me the flame thrower.” He put his hands out in a gesturing motion, slow and deliberate as to not spook Dan like he was a wild animal.
Dan nodded slowly, lowering the flame thrower even more, “yeah… yeah your right I just- I got fired from here last week and then this guy was selling these massive flame throwers and grenades and shit and I just thought ‘fuck it might as well’, and now I’m talking to The Spider-Man.” The flame thrower was now at Dans side, his mindless chatter matching the tone of fire burning around them. The fire that was spreading, the fire that would soon be put out by the fire engine Coy could hear just a few minutes away. Nothing to worry about.
Just a simple revenge plan under thought and half baked from a vengeful ex employee that didn’t even want to cause harm. Wildly common these days if coy was honest, usually he got 2 of these a week. Fairly simple to talk down and easy to get a pardon from with the police if no one was injured. And no one was injured. The paper work would be minimal and Dan would probably be let of with a warning.
That was all until someone ran in screaming for someone. Hanbon, looking for Coy. And behind her, Will and Anthony to pull her back from the fire.
“Coy! Where are you! Coy!” She yelled, frantically, into the fire.
“Bon it’s not safe come on! He’s probably outside! Let’s go!” Anthony yelled after her. Will tried to trap her arm but she was too quick and ran closer toward Coy and Dan, who were stood in the middle of the burning Costco.
Before Coy could react, all the commotion startled Dan and he raised the flame thrower again. Aiming directly for Hanbon, Will and Anthony. Like a wild boar Coy noted.
Dan adjusted his grip on the trigger to shoot at the now frozen in fear Hanbon. Staring down the barrel of the flame thrower, feet glued to the floor. Just before he could pull the trigger, Coy shot a web at the flame thrower, yanking it to the ground sooner than Dan could press down on the trigger. He probably should’ve done that sooner but Coy likes to give people a second chance before webbing them up.
This action must’ve snapped Dan out of his startled daze and stuck in right into amazement, “woah” he muttered under his breath, gazing at the webbed up flame thrower like it was the Mona Lisa.
“Dan what the hell!” Coy snapped, “you could’ve killed Ha- that innocent woman!” Coy all but stomped toward Dan, who was still in a haze, ensuring to web his hands together so he can’t try anymore tricks. Once he reached Dan he placed a hand on his shoulder so he couldn’t weasel away (something that happened way too often) and turned to Hanbon, Will and Anthony. The latter of which were already pulling Hanbon out of the, still, burning building.
“Come on then. Costcos gonna need a couple of minutes to decompress.” Smiling to himself, leading Dan out. He took the flame thrower with him for evidence, “you know Dan, I still can’t believe you went through all that to get revenge on Costco. Like out of all the places people have tried to get revenge on- Costco really takes the cake.” Coys trying to make light of it all, no one got hurt- even if he did try to kill Hanbon- and this poor guy shouldn’t have to be miserable whilst waiting for the cops.
The pair walked out into the open car park which had mostly been emptied out save for nosy strangers recording, first responders and his friends. “I probably should’ve just gotten another job.” Dan turned his head to Coy with a smile.
“I mean yeah but I’ve seen the job market recently- it’s pretty hard to get a new job.” The cold wind outside reminded Coy of Dans monstrous yellow cape as it whistled behind him. Fuck that was really not doing anything to help him, also an insane fire hazard for a guy with a flame thrower.
Dan was quiet the rest of the walk to the cop car waiting for them, which was really only 30 seconds but for Coy it was more like 40 minutes.
“officer Grace.” Coy nodded to the cop as he passed Dan over, “Spider-Man.” she nodded with a wry expression- they’d met a few times over the past couple of months. Not enough for them to be friends but enough for them to be on a first name basis. Well- semi first name basis.
Just as she slammed the door on Dan, coy remembered something, “oh Dan, here once you get out contact this,” he fumbled in his suit’s pockets for a moment before he found what he needed, “number and tell them Spider-Man sent you and they can hook you up with a temp job.” Coy handed him a small bland piece of white card with a number written in black.
Dan took it through the window gratefully as Officer Grace rolled up the window and began to drive off. Coy watched the car shrink in the distance, sighing as now he had to do the things he hated most of all- find and explain his disappearance to his friends. “God I need to tell them.” Muttering as he wiped his hands over his mask.
Coy pondered what excuse he could use- most likely just the classic ‘ohmygodguyswherewereyouigotcaughtupinthestampeedareyouguysok?” He’s probably gotta act up the frantic-ness this time with all the fire that the wonderful firefighters were now taking care off. Coy waved and threw a thumbs up at one that caught his eye, they mimicked it back.
As if summoned, Hanbon, Will, and Anthony had all ran up to him. Absentmindedly, Coy felt the strong urge to wave and happily greet them so they could just go home because, man was coy exhausted. But then he remembered himself. Right now’s he’s Spider-Man. Not Coy Piso. So now he must remain professional, wait, why were they approaching Spider-Man so freaked out?
Anthony, ever the leader, started, “Spider-Man, we can’t find our friend. I-“, ah. Right. They didn’t know where Coy was. Again this strong urge to laugh in their faces and pull of the masks consumed him but he couldn’t. Not ever and especially not right now when Hanbon and Will looked so genuinely distressed. “We haven’t seen him since this whole thing started- please, you have to help us.” Hanbon jumped in.
And, Coy will be honest, this was the weirdest thing he’s ever experienced. Usually he’d been able to completely avoid the group as spiderman and make it back to them before they ever got properly worried. But now his friends were asking him, to find himself- and not even in a spiritual sense, that would probably be nicer- no, in a literal sense.
He pulled himself together, cleared his throat to deepen it a few octaves, “Uh yeah I can do that. Just-uh- maybe don’t run into burning buildings again?” and faced Hanbon directly- he couldn’t let her go off thinking that was a good idea.
Coy turned to go back into the building, trying to leave as fast as possible before it got weird or he revealed something but then, “don’t you need his name?” Will asked. And, yeah, probably if Spider-Man didn’t know who the fuck Coy was but Coy was literally Spider-Man! Of course he couldn’t actually say this so he just mentally cursed himself, cleared his throat again, “oh yeah. Sorry. Long day.” He turned to the group expectantly await them to say his own name. Hanbon stepped forward, “his names Coy, he’s around 5’4 and brunette.” First of all, he is 5’5, coy will have her know so this is completed inaccurate and second of all, very bland description of him. Coy guesses it’s just so she can save time and Spiderman can get to work finding her dear friend Coy as soon as possible.
Coy nodded, reached his arm out and swung into the now mostly ashen building. He swung out and around the back of Costco, ducking under a pile of rubble to change. Ever since he’d almost been caught with a leg half stuck in his suit in the back of an alley, coy had made some adjustments to his suit. Now, when changing back into a civilian Coy just puts in on his normal clothes over his suit. If he ever is wearing shorts or a short sleeve shirt he is able to remove part of his suit. It’s all very Phil Dunphy with his Jeanxshort invention.
A long-sleeve green jumper is tugged over his head, blue jeans hiked over his suit- his mask is stuffed into his pocket before he tucks the part of his suit covering his neck under the jumper.
Now, as normal Coy piso, he darted out of his hiding spot, around the Costco and into view of everyone.
“Coy!” Hanbon yelled, waving her hands wildly.
“Hey guys, I was looking all over for you,”Coy began, “I got swept up in all the chaos and stuff.”
Will hugged him, “dude we thought you died big time or something. Bon got THE Spider-Man to look for you.” A tinge of amazed at ‘the Spider-Man’ peeked through in his voice, and if it made coy a little bit proud and boosted his ego just a touch- then, there’s no one to know.
“I know, he told me where you guys were.” He said, trying to match the admiration Will displayed.
Then, Anthony spoke up, “did you get hurt?” Traces of worry and relief mixed together in his features.
“I’m all good- you?” He responded, softer than he had expected himself too. It was directed toward the whole group but somehow, it didn’t land that way.
“Yeah, yeah we’re all good.” Anthony smiled.
Bon and Will shared a look before Will cleared his throat, “let’s get out of here.”
Hanbon nodded her head violently, “we’ll need to rethink this entire video now that Costco is…” trailing off to observe the Costco graveyard, “…dead.”
“We could just go to another Costco?”
“No Coy! You can’t betray Costco. It’s like a hairdresser, you gotta stick to one. So we just have to wait for this one to be back up and running before we can film that video again.” She looked determined, affirming her opinion by looking to will and Anthony for their agreement.
“Bon that is not-“ Anthony said, cut of by will, “can I still cleanse you guys?”
The silence that followed was genuinely painful. Bon’s hand pulled up to cover her mouth as she snickered to herself in bemusement, Anthony staring in pure confusion at Will. Coy sighed so loudly before coughing, ruining the silence and making them burst into the laughter out of their confusion.
Anthony led them all to Coys car where they began there descent back to the apartment.
——————————————————————
Coy flopped on the bed, exhaustion overwhelming his body. He grabbed his phone from the desk it rotted at- 01:45 am -it read. Not the latest Coy’d ever been up till but still, exhausting.
After they’d gotten back Coy had taken to his room, figuring he might as well clean his room with all the unscheduled time he had. Calling it ‘cleaning’ was stretch because about 10 minutes in Coy found a box of his old stuff which he proceed to look through for hours. Along with Hanbon of course.
Now, Coy was left alone, in a much messier room than he’d entered, drained and void of life. The phone in his hand being the only sign of existence and wellbeing.
He scrolled through instagram, thumb hovering over his friends posts before liking. Coy wouldn’t say he’s envious of them, the opposite in fact. He loves his life now- living with Anthony and Berto, starting bunch of friends with Anthony, Will and Bon- it’s been incredible. It’s just, he does sort of envy all his friends. Only for one simple thing.
They’re not Spider-Man. They don’t have to go on patrol from 9pm-1am on week days. They don’t have to ditch their friends constantly to safe their life. They don’t have to lie all the time. They don’t have to sneak around their own house or keep themselves at a metaphorical arms length to ensure no one finds out. They get to live Spider-Man free. In a world where they imagine spider-man to have this perfect life. That being spider-man is only full of benefits. Coy wishes he lived like that.
Just then, in the middle of Coy’s 2am crisis, just as coys thumb is hovering over a post from Jazzy and Ben, as if summoned, a hand reaches out.
Toby: Saw u on the news good save
A hand in the form of Tobys text dropping onto his screen. Coy smiles to himself as he opens the chat. Uncurling from the ball he’d become in his bed.
Toby is the only person to know that Coy is spider-man. He’d found out 2 years ago when coy was visiting the UK. It’s kind of hard to explain why you have an exact copy of Spider-Man’s suit in your bag. Even if the TSA bought it as a cosplay.
That conversation hadn’t been awkward even, it was simple, Toby was easy to accept and move on;
(“Are you Spider-Man?”
“W-what? What? Nonononono. Why would you- think that?”
“Really? You’ve got a surprisingly accurate Spider-Man suit in your bag.”
“..it’s my cosplay?”
“You do not do cosplay.”
“…..yeah I’m Spider-Man.”
“Oh sick.”)
Toby sent a link to a bbc news article about his save today. Never got easy to see people write about him like he was some super high profile mystery celebrity. Well- he was but it was just weird when people wrote articles about Spider-Man.
Toby: Did you think to not burn the Costco down before you fought the guy?
Coy: he came out of literally no where with a fucking flame thrower
just trynna get a Costco membership
Toby: dude u know u can never have a normal day
always be alert on those streets
Coy: Costco should be a safe space
God it was so nice to actually talk to someone about his endeavours as Spider-Man. Sometimes, and only sometimes, he’d contemplated telling other people.
Maybe Anthony- he’d be able to make much better excuses for him than he’s done so far, maybe be able to plan around it all in a way Coy hadn’t thought of yet.
Maybe Hanbon- she was good with secrets, well, serious secrets. She would joke around with him about it all. They could make fun of the dumbass villains he has to fight, maybe make a tier list of the worst ones.
Maybe Will- for some reason, as weird as he was, Will was always able to gage the amount of weird necessary for every scenario. In every fight where Coy thinks, “fuck I might actually die” (which is a lot of them) he always thinks about what Will would say to lighten the mood. Works like a charm to calm him from freaking the fuck out and having a panic attack mid-fight. It’s just bad fight etiquette.
But, he couldn’t. He knows what would happen. They’d hate him for lying for so long or maybe they’d expose his identity for Bunch Of Friends or a villain would find their connection and hurt them- obviously only about one of these hypotheticals was rational. Nevertheless he couldn’t.
He took a deep breath before typing his next message.
Coy: Bon Ant and Will talked to me as spidey
Toby: oh shit??
bet it was super fucking weird
Coy: YES IT WAS
like I almost forgot I was Spidey
Coy: but also I felt really bad because they seemed really worried for me (actual me not spidey) and I was just lying to their face
Toby: do you ever think about telling them?
Funny enough he just did and he’d come to a conclusion:
Coy: I can’t
Toby: why not
You know for a FACT they’d be super chill about it all
Coy: maybe
But I just can’t because what if someone finds out and kidnaps them or something to get to me
Toby: valid concern BUT I know and I havent been kidnapped or anything
Coy: cos ur in the fucking UK dickhead
Toby: rather be here than America right now
Coy: honestly same
Toby: BACK TO THE QUESTION
Why haven’t you told them
Coy: I just told you
Toby: boooo tell them
Coy: blocking you
Sighing as his arm flopped onto his bed, accidentally letting go and dropping his phone to the floor. Coy groaned, letting out a fake cry along with it. His dead body slowing turning over onto its side to reach the brick on the floor.
Somehow, the phone lands just out of reach, not wanting to get up, coy leaves it there. Mentally and physically flipping it off before rolling back over and closing his eyes. Letting the darkness and comfort of sleep take him.
Whilst asleep he wouldn’t notice Anthony creep into his room, “Coy?” He said into the darkness and mess of coys room.
He steps inside slowly, whispering he says, “I heard something fall. Just wanted to make sure your al-“ coy wouldn’t notice Anthony as he realised he was asleep.
Wouldn’t notice as Anthony spotted the phone on the floor, plugging it into Coy charger and setting it quietly on his desk. Wouldn’t notice Anthony creep out as quietly and slowly as he did before. Wouldn’t notice the small glance back into the room before he closed the door.