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Magic schools are overrated

Summary:

Yu is a hogwarts graduate after the war, who is so incredibly done with magic schools and all the stuff which goes with. If only they knew that a certain dark mirror apparently has a great sense of humour

Notes:

Hi guys! Sorry if the quality isn’t really the highest - it’s my first time properly writing.

Also please excuse poor grammar etc - my English class does not help very much….

Anyways please enjoy this crack post of mine

Chapter 1: Say Sike right now.

Chapter Text

A fresh graduate of hogwarts walked with purpose down Diagon Alley. Their dark oak hair cascaded down their back with the silver highlight near the top of their head shining like a jewel amongst the rich dark browns. Their wand clutched tightly to her pale skin, Yu’s blue eyes were set with determination.

Yu had been feeling off all morning - an odd, foreboding feeling, so had come to Diagon Alley to stretch their legs before headed to the Leaky Cauldron for a drink. It was 9am.

Top of their transfiguration classes and quite high up in their Defense against the dark arts and charms tests, the young Ravenclaw had made a good path for their future…..divination on the other hand - bringing it up would probably end up with them choking you before they’d answer.

 

Nonetheless, Yu shook those thoughts out of their mind - no need to worry about that, they’ve graduated for Merlin’s sake. That brought up memories of the war - Yu may have only been a fourth year, but they’d lost a few friends and their parents in that awful war.

Suddenly, the floor tilted under the Ravenclaw’s feet, as if they’ve drunk far too much wine and just attempted to fly home on a broom…not like they’ve done that or anything….

The young adult expected to feel her head hit the floor, yet they watched as their vision went dark and it seemed as if they tilted past where the comforting yet hard cobbles should be.

 

~

 

Yu woke up with a start. ’Where the hell is my wand.’ The thought was sharp, unwanted but rather important. Instead of succumbing to panic, they looked around. They were a Ravenclaw, not a brain dead Griffendor for Merlin’s sake.

They seemed to be in some sort of…..coffin? Which was rather tight and constricting and was NOT the reason why it was giving harder to breathe.

Yu softly whispered a spell of “Alohomora” to open whatever lock was on the door. Pushing the door open with slightly more force than was necessary, they came face to face with a small grey cat(?)

“A…..cat-?” Yu asked, rather befuddled.

“IM NO CAT- NYAH NOT ENOUGH TIME. GIVE ME YOUR UNIFORM” screeched the little cat-like thing.

From this comment, Yu looked down and realised they were not intact wearing their clothes. Instead they were wearing these clothes rather similar to hogwarts robes.

What. The. FUCK.

Shaking themselves out, Yu looked around at their surroundings. They seemed to be in a chamber of sorts, filled with these odd coffins floating all about….like the candles in hogwarts.

“Don’t ignore me pathetic little human!! I need that uniform of yours right now!!!” The little cat hissed.

Yu stared mutely down at the not-cat. Oh what they wouldn’t do to be able to properly speak again. They just tipped their head in confusion and pointed at their neck.

“Your…neck-? What, cat got your tongue?” Teased the cat like thing. I really gotta find out that things name. Yu just pointed at their mouth and shook their head aggressively.

“WHA- CAN YOU NOT SPEAK-“ screamed the odd little Cat thing, oddly reminding the young Ravenclaw of the upperclassman of theirs called Pansy.

Yu just shook their head, exasperated as they picked up the not-cat, petting it slightly.

“DO NOT PET THE GREAT GRIM” hissed the not-cat, but now Yu knew the cat was called Grim so that’s a win in their eyes.

They placed down Grim, watching him with mildly curious eyes as they wondered what is their next step. They could disapparate but they didn’t know where they were and they do not want to get splinched.

Realising they were mildly on fire, Yu thought ‘Aguamenti’ and clean water doused the flames. Ignoring the look of pure confusion on Grim’s face, they patted themselves down just as a large crow man burst open the door with this odd whip.

“NYAH, YOU’VE RUINED MY CHANCE DUMB HUMAN” Grim screeched, and tried to lunge at Yu.

The whip flew forwards and grabbed Grim before he got anywhere near Yu (who had been about to cast Protego, secrecy be damned)

“An untrained familiar? How rude! And you were so impatient that you were not even able to wait patiently in your gate?” The crow man pompously declared.

Yu just stared unimpressed at this odd Crow man, when oddly, Grim spoke up.

“No use wasting your time on that useless human, they can’t even speak!” He had declared, obviously trying to get Yu OUT of here.

Yu levelled Grim with the most unimpressed stare they could manage as Crowley stared at them.

Looking back at their ‘gate’ they saw a little cherry wood wand at the bottom of their gate

‘MY WAND’ Yu’s mind screamed, needing the familiarity of home.

Yu dived for it, clutching it close and tucking it into their robes. One thing that hogwarts and whatever this place was is that the robes seem to have a hell lot of pockets.

Ignoring the odd looks given to them by both Mr-crow man and Grim, they turned back to Mr Crow Man

“Well we’ve found our final student, so follow along boy” The crow man cawed, sounding far too proud, like a peacock instead of a crow.

Disgruntled, but not really able to correct the man on their pronouns, Yu dragged their feet behind the guy, ignoring the protests of Grim.

“Now, a mute student will be rather difficult, but not impossibly so, I shall be the gracious man I am and find you a way to participate in classes” the man told Yu, as he dragged Yu along.

“You may also be confused on where you are-“ Yu interrupted him with a death stare, very much going ‘YOU THINK?’ “Ahem, you are at Night Raven College, the most prestigious magic school in the country!”

Yu stopped dead. Not another dam magic school. They were DONE with those. Done with all those hormonal magic fueled teenagers and the chaos and the awful awful homework that rips apart their very being, no, no way.

Say sike right now!