Work Text:
Noli sighed. They missed 007n7. Ever since the break-up divorce split-up 10 years ago, things just hadn’t been the same really.
They opened their laptop. Surely, surely there was something to cope with this pain.
They looked at archived newspapers and stories from when they would terrorize the local population together. What days, oh how they longed for them once more. Back in college, they only ever bought one bed because they needed to make the best use of the small dorms and to conveniently share with 007n7 for warmth reasons. Not gay at all. However, while stumbling through link after link, they came across a website.
“What the fuck is 007n7/reader,” they mumbled quietly, leaning further into the screen.
He had simps, apparently. Somehow that arrogant, firecracker personality, red gui using, smelly college bum that belonged to them only (no homo) had simps. Looking further, they too also had a few simps, but not as much as 007n7. Probably because they were the quieter of the two, usually doing the behind the scenes dirty work, when 007n7 liked to be more outloud. The chaos junkie. Noli enjoyed the spotlight sometimes too.
As what was totally a joke and not out of a genuine curiosity, Noli read one of the fanfics.
It felt weird, trying to insert themself as 007n7’s lover. He acted so corny in these fics. Yet-
”You belong to me only, Y/N. I’ll burn down whoever looks at you the wrong way.” he says, gazing into your eyes with possessive intent.
Noli kicked their feet and giggled into their pillow. Not in a gay way. Noli is in fact the pinnacle of not falling in love with their best friend.
Slowly one fic became 10, then 20, and then-
“NOLI GET THE FUCK UP!” 1x1x1x1 yelled, bargaging on their door, “IT’S YOUR TURN NEXT. I’LL GET THE SPECTRE ITSELF TO PULL YOUR ASSCHEECKS UP.”
Noli quickly hid their laptop beneath their pillow.
Right, they prayed that The Spectre couldn’t see their search history. (It could.)
After a killer round where they lost LMS to Builderman by some chance, they went back to their self-indulgent time.
===
“Hey Uncle No- WHAT.”
c00lkidd barged into Noli’s room without knocking, too busy focusing on asking them to help settle an argument between him and bluudud on whether the ocean was a soup or not (It is.) when he got utterly flashbanged by Noli kissing a body pillow of his father while playing loud romantic music off of a bluetooth speaker.
“W- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!?”
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY DAD?!”
“...Kidd. I will pay you $20 dollars and you don’t tell a soul.”
“I-” the child was too stunned to speak.
“I can make it $50 even! $100! Whatever you want!”
“...okay…” he was still very unnerved, but fished out a few notes from Noli’s wallet, and left without saying a word. When he returned back to bluudud, he said that Noli agreed with him and won that argument. Meanwhile-
“Oh I love you so much 007n7, mwah mwah mwah!~”