Chapter Text
The hum from the lights didn’t feel as comforting now. It felt less like a blanket around John and more a constant reminder of why he ended up in the place he was in. John didn’t have much time to grab personal items before being sent to Arkham. In fairness, he only thought to grab one thing. He looked over at the photograph of him and Bruce. It was the second time he’d ever seen him as Batman in person, but the first time they’d gotten to speak. Before they had teamed up. Before he’d messed things up between them the way he did. John sighed, turning his gaze to the floor instead. “Visitor for John Doe.” A voice called from outside. John turned his head to the door, confused. He opened the plate on his door to peer outside, looking around for his eyes to find focus before settling on “Bruce!”
He felt an instant wave of relief wash over him, he let out a laugh to express it. Bruce came to visit him. After everything, Bruce came to visit him. Of course he would, they were best friends. Nothing at all could tear them apart. They were two threads in the same stitch. John couldn’t resist smiling up at the man. Bruce quickly offered a smile back before turning to the guard by the door.
“Can’t I go in?” He asked the man. “I’m not supposed to let anyone in with the patient.” Despite the guard’s denial, Bruce only gave a brief pause before retrieving his wallet, taking a couple of hundreds out, and covertly holding it closely to the man outside. The guard glanced at the hundreds, back to the door, then up at Bruce. He sighed. “I better not get into trouble for this.”
Bruce thanked the man as he opened the door, shutting it behind him. Now it was just the two of them. John suddenly had no idea what to do with himself. He chuckled nervously before he spoke. “Bruce, buddy, I didn’t know if you’d… I– I mean, after…” John’s sentence trailed off. He really couldn’t find words for this situation. His eyes darted to the side as he spoke. “I meant what I said, John.” John’s eyes snapped back to meet Bruce’s at the statement. “I care about you. I want to help you.” Bruce grabbed one of his arms as John looked up at him. He wanted to cry. There was just such a mix of emotions and he didn’t know how to handle any of it at the moment. There was relief, anxiety, love, and pain all stirring together. Another laugh broke free. He felt the tears before he’d realized he actually did start crying.
Bruce hugged him. Neither of them had any idea how long they stayed like that. John wasn’t just crying over the recent events, it was over everything that happened between him and Bruce that led up to this point. He was clinging to Bruce like a lifeline as he sobbed into his shoulder. “I’m sorry.” Were the only words John seemed to manage to get out. Bruce remained a constant, holding onto him and whispering to John reassurances that he was here to help and that the two of them would figure things out.
This is the blanketed, comforting feeling John missed from the lights. As soon as he left Arkham, he had adjusted to the lights, and now as soon as he left the real world, he had adjusted to Bruce. The problem was now that Bruce couldn’t exactly always be there. He could stay for visitation hours if he wasn’t busy. He’d probably see him once a week.
A bit after the tears died down, Bruce pulled away slightly. Their arms were still around each other, but their bodies were left with a few inches of space in between. “I care about you too, buddy. So much.” John sniffled. Bruce brought a hand up to John’s face, wiping some of the tears away. “I know.” He replied.
“Is uh… Is Tiffany okay?” John began shakily. “Some of what happened is kinda… blurry.” He shrugged. “She’s fine.” Bruce nodded. “She’s training with me back in the batcave.” John nodded back in response for a second before speaking again. “And Alfred?” Bruce hesitated before replying, his hands left John’s sides. John’s arms left his shoulders a few beats after. “He, uh… He’s not working with me anymore.”
John stood stunned for a bit. “What?” He prompted. Bruce let out a sigh before he continued. “He’s staying in touch, just… At his age and in the condition he was in, working with Batman was too much and he… He needed to step away. He left the country a few days ago.” “He left the country?!” John was absolutely baffled by the claim. “Isn’t he like your father figure?” Bruce put a hand on John’s shoulder. “It was a mutual decision, it’s fine. I’m fine.”
Fine was a strong word. Truthfully, after Alfred left the country and John had to be taken into Arkham, Bruce had been far from fine. At least now he could see John. Tiffany was definitely good to have around, but she wasn’t someone Bruce should vent to. Tiffany was dealing with grief, and training, and a life outside of what was going on with Bruce. Bruce also saw her as a pupil and a sort of niece, definitely not someone to vent to.
It didn’t really look like John believed him, Bruce noted. John didn’t believe him. He didn’t respond to the statement either. Instead, he moved to sit on his bed, patting the spot next to himself, signaling for Bruce to sit with him. He did. John got the feeling Bruce didn’t want to talk about the subject anymore, and he was right. There was a pause.
“I really am sorry for everything that happened, you know?” It was really the only topic his brain could manage to go back to. “I know. You’re a good person, John.” John scoffed in response. “I didn’t agree with your actions, but I know those actions were never with malicious intent. I said that I believe that everyone deserves second chances, and I do. You’re not an exception to that. I never saw you as bad or evil, I saw that you were hurting.”
“But I shouldn’t have hurt you.” John clarified before letting out a laugh, there was really no amusement behind it “You should hate me.”
“I could never hate you, John.” The response was quicker than John could anticipate. “You mean so much to me, you have to know that by now.” Those words only threw John more off his guard. There were a few seconds of silence before Bruce spoke again.
“We’ve both been through a lot. Not just recently, but as long as I’ve known you, we’ve both been going through something. I’ve always been impressed with how resilient and determined you are. You never give up, even when things are tough. You are so fun to be around, and even when everything seems hard, you make me smile. There aren’t a lot of people who can do that, John. You are so funny, and intelligent, and wonderful, and it hurts to see you doubt that. I was so wrong to underestimate you, you showed me that. Don’t underestimate yourself. I am so glad I have you in my life. I know that you think that the trouble we’ve gone through makes me question if our relationship is worth it, it doesn’t. Ever.” He held John’s hands in his own as he paused. “I love you, John. So much.”
John could only stare at Bruce for a few seconds. He knew if it stayed that way, he would probably just become a sobbing mess again. Before he could really think about his options, though, he was kissing him. He’d never kissed anyone before, not that he remembered anyway; he just had to hope that he was decent at it. He’d seen it on TV before, but that was really his only reference. One of his hands settled on Bruce’s jaw and the other was in his hair. Bruce put his arms around John’s waist. Then, Bruce was kissing him back, and, god, was he good at it. That made sense though, him being a famous bachelor and all. Of everyone though, Bruce was kissing him. John felt a flash of pining and love and obsession all at once. He pulled Bruce as close to himself as he physically could. After a few seconds, they both pulled away, so they could actually, properly breathe.
“I, uh… Didn’t know you felt the same way about me.” John stated, attempting to at least start processing the situation. “I mean… You’re… You’re Bruce Wayne.” John stressed. “And Batman!” He whispered emphatically. Bruce huffed out a laugh and rolled his eyes lightheartedly at that. “And you’re John Doe.” He replied. “You know what I mean!” John laughed. “I really don’t know how I got so lucky. You’re… You’re good at like literally everything, and you’re smart, and talented, and, god, have I mentioned how handsome you are?” Bruce chuckled in response. “A few times.” John nodded once at that. “Good. You need to know. I know the media brings it up a lot, but it’s not enough, trust me.”
It was so good to see John happy again. Genuinely happy. Bruce pulled John to his side. John leaned his head on Bruce’s shoulder, and Bruce leaned his head against John’s. His thumb was rubbing against John’s shoulder and that relaxed him further. They stayed like that for a little while. Eventually, Bruce’s watch buzzed.
“I should probably get going, but I’ll visit every week that I can.” John smiled at that. “Promise?” He held his pinky out to Bruce. Bruce locked his pinky against John’s. “Promise.” Bruce smiled back at him softly as he pulled his hand away. “I’ll see you next week.” Bruce stated. “I love you.” John expressed sincerely because he could say that now. “I love you too.”