Work Text:
13 hours. That's all you had left as you went speeding down the highway, praying you'd make it in time. You just had to see him one last time, even if he didn't want to see you. You knew that this was probably a huge waste of time but he was your father and you needed to have one last chance to say goodbye, maybe then you could face this bravely.
10 hours. Your phone would not stop ringing, you knew it was Dean who was calling but you just couldn't answer your phone. You didn't know what to say to him you didn't know if you could make him understand why you had left instead of being with him and fighting this. You knew that this couldn’t be fought and even if it could, the price you would have to pay would be too much for your heart to take. Just a little further now and you will be there and a little closer to your fate.
7 hours. You were about four hours away now and your mind had began to wander, back to happier times; growing up with Sam and Dean, your first hunt, your first kiss, the first time your dad said he was proud of you. How were you supposed to give all that up? How were you supposed to give up on a future with Dean when your relationship had only just begun to blossom? Sam, what would Sam do without you? True you guys hadn’t spoken as much since he went off to Stanford but he was still like a little brother to you. You two had always been there for each other, having had such a connection from losing your mothers so young. How could you leave him? As your resolve began to weaken you looked to your right to see the picture of your boys together hanging from your rearview mirror. Your dad, Dean and Sam with you squished in the middle. You knew then you had to be strong. They had lost more than you before and survived. They could do it now. You pressed down on the gas a little harder, needing to get there before you broke down.
3 hours. You were so close you could taste it, you a had a plan in mind and you just had to stick to it, no matter what. Your phone was turned off to stop any distractions, you had turned the radio on high hours ago to fill the empty void of the car. You had never realised how much you enjoyed listening to Sam and Dean bickering on road trips, you knew that you were gonna miss that.
2 hours. You were moments away now as you passed the Sioux Falls city lines to drive ever closer to your destination of the local scrap yard that meant so much to you growing up. Would he even be there? There was no guarantee and you were scared that you might miss him, that you might miss the last chance you had in the world to make things right with him. It wasn’t the time to hold on to old grudges, you just wanted to hold your father close and tell him that you forgave him for giving you up when you were younger. You knew that it wasn’t just his decision, that John had played his part but you had known long ago that you could never forgive John. This was your father though, your own flesh and blood. You had to make things right.
1 hour 30 minutes. As you drove up to your childhood home, you saw your father on the porch waiting for you, you didn’t understand how he knew but at that moment you didn’t care. You parked the car and jumped out, running towards him with tears streaming down your face.
“Daddy” you cried sadly jumping into his arms and holding on to him tight.
“Baby girl”
“Daddy, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You sobbed into his shirt staining it with your tears. You held onto his shirt tightly, not wanting to release him until you knew he had understood you.
“I know Baby girl, I know.” Your Dad looked down at you, his stare filled half with pity and half with love. “I’m sorry too, I never should have sent you away. I never should have let you go and I certainly shouldn’t of told you I hated you. I know why you did what you did, I would have done the same.”
“I just had to save you daddy, I know I shouldn’t have done it but you’re my whole family, I love you.”
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
You looked up at him and smiled before laying your cheek against his chest listening to his steady heartbeat as he laid a tender kiss to the top of your head.
“Daddy? How did you know I was coming here?” You asked softly
“Well, sweetheart, that would be because of me.” You looked up in shock, you quickly faced the front door where the eldest Winchester stood smugly.
“How the hell did you beat me here?” You asked, astonished at the fact he managed such a feat.
“Plane” He shrugged whilst speaking, as if it was no big deal.
“But you hate flying.” You stated, confused at the statement.
“Don’t you realise it yet? I would do anything for you?” He started walking closer to you and grabbed your shoulder pulling you into an embrace. “If you ain’t gonna fight this then I sure as hell ain’t gonna miss your last hours.”
30 minutes. You had spent the remaining time telling stories and reminiscing the good old days, never bringing up the elephant in the room. You knew that Dean had left John with the Impala, he was driving it up when the case was finished. You laughed and laughed determined that you final minutes living were gonna be great.
20 minutes. It was getting closer, your nerves were building. Dean noticed you were beginning to fidget and pulled you closer on the sofa, wrapping his arms around your shoulders whilst your dad came and sat on the other side of your grasping one of your hands in his. You looked at them, switching your gaze between the two, smiling as you held onto the two most important men in your life.
10 minutes. It was time. Final goodbyes. You didn’t want to do this but you didn’t want them to see or hear you suffer. You gave your dad a hug and pecked him on the check.
“I love you daddy” You whispered sadly to him tears beginning to blur your vision.
“I love you too ya idjit, more than anything.” He whispered back smiling slightly at your chuckle, you could always trust that nickname to make you feel safe.
You turned to Dean, he smiled sadly at you, tears already running down his face.
“You sure you don’t want to run with me, sweetheart?” He asked you one final time. You would have said yes if not for the growling you could here getting closer, this was your fate, your wouldn’t drag him into it, so instead you shook your head at him, not having the willpower to speak.
“Well then I am sorry, Bobby, you might wanna turn away.” You looked at his cautiously as he grasped your face, pulling you face to his for a sweet and loving kiss.
“I should have done that more often.” He said cheekily whilst Bobby groaned in the background, that was the first time Dean had kissed you like that since your first kiss, to you it was a beautiful ending.
“Goodbye, Dean.” You smiled at him as you caressed his cheek. With that you walked out the door towards the junkyard. You began to run, not daring to look back at the two men you loved standing there crying for you.
3 minutes. You had been running a few minutes now you had gotten deep into the junkyard now, wanting to get as far from the house as you could. Not far now.
1 minute. You had reached the fence surrounding your dad's property, you placed your back against it and leaned back, getting your breath back and calming your nerves, you wanted to be strong but you were so scared. You didn’t want to go. You wanted to live.
30 seconds. It was nearly time, you only had seconds left. There was so much you wanted to do with your life, you barely got to do anything. There wasn’t enough time to do it. Why is there never enough time?
10 seconds. You kept whispering to yourself.
“Let me be brave. Let me be strong. Let me be brave. Let me be strong.” They are here.
1 second. As the teeth bit into your leg for the first bite only one thing crossed your mind. “Dean……..”
Exactly twelve months later
12 months ago exactly, you died. Now as you look down on your grave stone, you are reborn.
Whilst reading the tombstone, you could help but feel a twinge of pain. You turned and walked away from the tribute to your old life with a smirk on your face and eyes as black as your soul.
Y/F/N Singer
Gone but not forgotten.
Taken too young.
The sharp knife of a short life.