Chapter Text
...
Heavy rain poured outside the window.
"It's time."
She took a deep breath and stared at the envelope in her hands.
"This is it. This is my future."
Fingers shakily hovered over the seal.
"Damn it!"
She ripped open the flap in a swift motion, shutting her eyes anticipating the worst outcome. What ifs flooded her mind, if I don't make it, what else will I have to live for?, she thought.
The letter slipped out of the envelope onto her lap. In bold letters she read her fate.
"Denied. Denied..?
Her heart sank. All of her efforts, her hopes, her dreams.
"It's all gone."
"Everything is gone."
She ripped the note and banged on the walls. Her clothes fell off their hangers
She wailed loudly, "It's not fair! Nothings fair anymore! Nothings fair!" Repeatedly
Medicine bottles on her nightstand rattled. She had been prescribed them after a messy suicide attempt. Multiple pills of various sizes and colors, which she was now pouring down the drain.
"Why do I need these?" She sobbed, "No idol should ever need these. I'm a mess."
Her mother knocked on the bathroom door
"Sweetie? What's going on?" She said, concerned.
Minori was too out of it to process anything said. She was in her own world now, thinking about every mistake she has made, the moments she didn't appreciate enough.
"What's? Going on?" Minori repeated.
Her mom sighed, "Have you taken your medicine yet?"
Minori hesitated, "...yeah."
"Well that's good," she sighed of relief. "Hurry up in there."
Soon came dinner, the worst time for an aspiring idol.
"Minori, you've been in your room all day! Why don't you come out and eat with us for once? You've been playing anorexic, skipping meals. You know how much effort I put into making this food?"
"Mom, please, I told you I needed to study," Minori yelled through her door.
"Your health is more important to me than grades!" Her mom responded.
Minori frowned, "Then I'll eat in my room!" She exclaimed with aggression leaking through each word.
The sun rose on Monday morning. Bright light shined on Minori's face. The sun totally couldn't read the room.
"I don't feel like it today."
"I don't feel like it this week." Minori whined to herself.
She hadn't felt this depressed in a while, not since the last time.
Minori looked at her computer.
"I guess it's time to go back."
Instead of going to class, Minori scrolled on suicide forums for hours. She examined diagrams of methods and researched drug quantities. This is the one.. no she thought while scrolling through instruction manuals.
I can't do this, I can't even kill myself , she thought.
Suddenly, a new thread caught her eye. It was posted only a minute ago.
It was titled, "I'm too scared to kill myself alone, is anyone in the Shibuya area looking for a suicide buddy?"
She giggled, suicide buddy?... I guess you could call it that.
She typed a quick response, "DM me details." and waited.
Hours passed, it was the time Minori would've been leaving school.
She refreshed the website
Still no response? She thought.
I really fell for a honeypot, huh. The police will be taking me back to the ward anytime soon.
But just as she reached to close the tab, she got a notification.
HatsuneKILLINGMYSELFMiku, the thread's author, finally DM'd her,
"Sorry for the wait. I was at school. I'm 16 (pls don't snitch to mods) so if ur uncomfy with that I understand. OK so I really want to jump off this bridge near Phoenix Wonderland but im too scared to so i was hoping i could jump with someone else."
Minori, whose screenname was Ruined_Flower04, responded,
"Any method is fine. Lol im 16 too. Lets meet at the cafe down that sketchy street."
"OK my number is 111-111-1111 text me"
The sun set.
After sending her information, Minori's heart started racing.
What the hell did I do? Did I seriously give my information to this random stranger? It could be a trick. Some psycho's going to rape and torture me! Or even worse, I'll be sent to the mental asylum again. I can't spend another day in those white rooms! No!
Well, whatever happens, I hope I end up dead.