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Amity ran her quill over the page, a fine line of ink curling up and dropping down into a loop that wobbled through to finish an ‘L.’ She pulled her hand away, watching in subdued terror as a drop may have begun to form.
She inspected the tip closely.
Alas, it was only a trick of the eye. She braced herself and continued.
Next came the U, then the Z, her hand teetering on the precipice of trembling with every curling of her finger and shift of the paper. A fine, curved little line made the comma, and now she pulled back the quill and set it aside. She didn’t dare hold it as her mind tried to come up with the perfect words.
“I think we’d have fun—no.” She muttered. “As friends, we—ugh! No!”
“I like you a lot and I want to…”
Die.
I want to die.
Her desk was cluttered with crinkled balls of pink paper. Each one flawed just enough that it could wreck everything. A line too long, a drip of ink unable to be disguised within the loop of a letter. A smear blatant enough to condemn her for terrible penmanship.
“Luz, will you go to Grom with me?” She practiced, her voice taking the shape of the barest whispers.
That sounds good, right?
It’s just a question! It means nothing—we could just be going as friends.
Her hand tightened as it echoed in her head. She picked up the quill, but held it away from the paper as she tried to map every detail in her mind. The barbs shook against the air as the shaft trembled in her grasp.
Friends.
Just friends.
She bit her lip, re-dipped the quill, and pressed its tip down. She swirled through the letters quickly—before she could lose control and skew a line.
The message lay bare. A piece of her soul etched in ink. It betrayed everything she’d ever learned and overstepped every line in the sand in which her life was supposed to exist.
Would someone destined for the Emperor’s Coven do this? Chase after a girl—a human?
Would a good daughter do this? A good Blight?
“Mittens!”
Her blood ran cold as her body jerked into action. Her arm swept across her desk, the mess of papers falling to the floor. She swirled her hand through a spell and swept them all underneath her bed.
She had half a second to snatch the finished note from her desk as her mother swung open her door. She folded it twice and—with practiced perfection—she nudged it into her pocket without moving her wrist.
“Yes, mom?” She asked politely, straightening herself and gazing forward respectably.
“You did well on your last exam.” Her mother stated.
Amity held her face in stasis, save for a slight nod. Her chest grew warm at the praise.
She had stayed up all night studying and practicing for it, but only now did it feel worthwhile. Only now, when the reward was given.
“Just remember that if your grades drop, you can kiss that library distraction goodbye.”
“I will not let that happen.” She promised. “I’ll make you proud.”
“I know you will, Mittens.” Her mother nodded. “You’re going to be doing a demonstration the week after next. Your father and I have some new products to show off.”
But…
“I understand.” Amity nodded, already gritting her molars together at the prospect of bruises. The abomi-techs were good products.
She knew that all too well.
Her mother turned and stepped out, the door hanging ajar as her footsteps receded down the hallway. Chills hung in the space she’d been, wafting outward until Amity was left shivering.
She blinked once against quiet tears while her nails dug into the collar of her cowl.
Blights don’t cry.
“Why don’t you just say no?” Emira’s voice came from her doorway, dragging Amity back into her posture.
“What, you’re eavesdropping on me now?” She snapped, tongue sharper than she’d meant it. She glanced away from Emira’s soft wince.
“I didn’t mean to, I swear.” Her sister recovered with a flick of her finger. “But, really. You should just tell her no.”
Her thoughts turned bitterly sardonic.
Oh yeah, I’ll just go do that.
“Just leave me alone, Em.” Amity hissed, this time with a semblance of restraint. Her legs stormed forward, her hands rose up and gripped her door. She shoved it forward, forcing Emira to step back as it swung into its frame, rattling against its latch to a halt.
You’re the reason I have to do this anyway! If you’d just done it when you were supposed to…
“Okay, I’m sorry… jeez.” Emira’s voice came muffled through the door, but Amity heard the wound she’d made. Guilt bled into her cheeks.
I didn’t mean… ugh!
I just…
She shook her head while teeth closed over her lip. She reached for her staff card on her desk and threw the string over her head.
I need a break.
. . . . . . . . . .
The dry scent of aged paper hung in the air of her hideaway. It was just as she’d left it. Maybe Ed and Em had stayed true to their word to never invade her sanctuary after all. Or, they’d just gotten better at covering it up…
The wall shifted behind her, a soft thud of the shelf definitively closing her off from the outside world. She walked to her small display of The Good Witch Azura books. The Book Nook didn’t have book five either time she had checked, so her assembly sat unfinished. A deliberate gap waiting to be filled once she found her own copy.
For now, it was her hiding spot. She reached into it, sliding a cut section of the backboard loose and nudging her arm deeper until her fingertips brushed over the cover. Her grip tightened, and she pulled it loose, inspecting it once it came into view. A small grin played on her lips as she spotted the bandage in the top right corner, recalling its origin…
‘I’m still really, really sorry I read your diary! … And… for all the pages that fell out—’
‘It’s okay, I was able to fix it pretty easily… and… thanks, for the book.’
‘How far in are you? Is it good? Do you love it?! No, wait! You should finish it first! Oh, and…’
Amity nearly laughed aloud as Luz dug through her pocket, tongue stuck out the corner of her mouth while her eyes searched the ceiling. ‘Here!’ She beamed.
‘Why… are you giving me a bandage?’ Amity asked.
‘For your diary! It can join the Booboo Buddy Club now!’
Amity ran her thumb over it as though it could somehow refine the memory. “You’re so weird…” She chortled. “What on the Titan is a Booboo Buddy?”
She flipped open the cover, flipping past a lifetime of thoughts. She stopped at the first fresh page and reached for her quill the way she’d done a thousand times. With a tentative dip in the ink and the gentle, precise touch of tip to page, a black glob bled into it. It grew larger as she hesitated, trying to collect too many thoughts and feelings under the umbrella of language and reason.
𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃’𝓉 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒹𝑜. 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓃’𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝒹 𝒶 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓃 𝓎𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃’𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓊𝓅 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃. 𝐼’𝓋𝑒 𝓃𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓎, 𝒷𝓊𝓉...
𝐼’𝓂 𝓈𝓊𝓅𝓅𝑜𝓈𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝑜𝓅 𝓈𝓉𝓊𝒹𝑒𝓃𝓉, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼’𝓂 𝓈𝓊𝓅𝓅𝑜𝓈𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝒿𝑜𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝐸𝓂𝓅𝑜𝓇𝑒𝓇’𝓈 𝒞𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓃. 𝐼’𝓂 𝓈𝓊𝓅𝓅𝑜𝓈𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓅 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝒶𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓎 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝓊𝓈𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓈. 𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒹𝑜 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉!
𝒜𝓉 𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝓉, 𝐼 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝐼 𝒹𝒾𝒹. 𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝒷𝑒𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝓇𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒹 𝐿𝓊𝓏 𝒾𝓈 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓂𝑒 𝒸𝓇𝒶𝓏𝓎! 𝐼𝓉’𝓈 𝑒𝒶𝓈𝒾𝑒𝓇, 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓈𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓀… 𝒾𝓉 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒷𝓇𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉𝑒𝓇, 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌? 𝒮𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 𝓈𝑜 𝒻𝓊𝓃, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓈𝒽𝑒'𝓈 𝓃𝒾𝒸𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝑒. 𝐸𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝒶𝒻𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝓃𝑒… 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌𝓈 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝑒… 𝓌𝒽𝓎 𝒾𝓈 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓈𝑜 𝓃𝒾𝒸𝑒?
𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓃’𝓉 𝒹𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝓎𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝓉 𝒶𝓁𝓁. 𝐼’𝓂 𝒶 𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓇𝒾𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒸𝒽, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒶𝓁𝓀𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝑒, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒽𝓊𝑔𝓈 𝓂𝑒, 𝒶𝓃𝒹… 𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃’𝓉 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌. 𝒮𝒽𝑒 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉… 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒𝓈 𝓂𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓂𝑒.
𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝒶𝓈 𝒶 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹.
𝐼’𝓂 𝓈𝑜 𝓈𝓉𝓊𝓅𝒾𝒹.
𝒲𝒽𝓎 𝒹𝒾𝒹 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒽𝑒𝓇? 𝒲𝒽𝓎 𝒹𝑜𝑒𝓈 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝓈𝑜 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒻𝑒𝒸𝓉 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓈𝑜 𝒶𝓂𝒶𝓏𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝓂𝑒 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈?
𝐼 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝓌𝓇𝑜𝓉𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒… 𝓌𝒽𝓎 𝒹𝒾𝒹 𝐼 𝒹𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉???
𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒶𝓈𝓀 𝒽𝑒𝓇! 𝐵𝓊𝓉… 𝒾𝒻 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝓃𝑜, 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓃𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒷𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁. 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃’𝓉… 𝒹𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉. 𝐼…
𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃’𝓉 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌.
She dropped her quill to the floor and watched the shine disappear from the drying ink. She pulled out the note again, unfolding it and reading its words again. She tried to dig up some spark of hope in herself, but there was none to be found in the solitude of the hidden room.
. . . . . . . . . .
Why did I let her do this?? She wasn’t ready! Amity cursed herself as she sprinted through the hallway. I’m such a coward!
She fell behind the Owl Lady as the old witch surged ahead, but she still forced her feet forward, every stride a scream of all her effort.
I’ve gotta make this right, just hang on!
She slammed her shoulder into the exit doors as they swung closed. The weight battered her for a moment before she gave it all back, blasting them open. She didn’t spare herself even a stumble as she twisted forward again.
She threaded through trees, faster and faster. She saw it in the distance, rearing its nasty form. The land fell away beyond it.
Luz!
She’s trapped!
She heard Luz cry out, the pitch in her voice sharp with agony.
A blast of fire struck Grom, but she kept running anyway. This was her mess to clean up. Not Luz’s, not the Owl Lady’s.
Voices echoed in front of her, the sound tumbling into her ears without ever entering her mind. None of it overcame the swell of guilt igniting into indignation.
She had done this.
This was her fight, but she’d let Luz be the one on the line. She forced the brightest, kindest person to face a beast of nightmares.
Get between them!
I don’t care what happens to me.
I don’t care!
I can’t let her get hurt!
Amity burst forth from the treeline, bounding across the grass. Her legs threw her forward. Her body straddled the line between balance and falling. Regardless, she refused to slow and threw caution to the wind. She gambled her ankles to turn, bolting for the crucial space between.
You won’t lay a hand on her!
She spun sideways, the ground rupturing against the bottoms of her feet as she skidded to a stop. Grom loomed over her while Luz was crumbled to her knees, her hands clamped firmly over her ears.
“Stay away from her!” Amity shouted.
Grom moved faster than she’d thought he could. A tendril of sludge lashed out and ripped her from the ground before her muscles could even flinch.
“I’m sorry, Luz! I should’ve fought my own battle!”
I should’ve just given you the stupid note!
Amity looked back toward Luz, guilt boiling through her. It burned in her lungs and scalded her mind. After all her cowardice, she was right back where she would’ve been.
She’s gonna know now… nothing to lose anymore.
“I—”
Grom’s shriek rippled through the air and froze. Every cell in her body spazzed through sparks. He was in her head, ripping open memories like they were chew toys. Snarls radiated in her mind, the meaning heard and never spoken.
I̸
S̸E̸E̸
Y̸O̸U̸
Her feet touched against the ground. She opened her eyes, her heart wrenching itself into her spine.
Luz…
“You think I’d want to go with you?”
It’s not real. This is Grom.
Luz reached forward. Amity’s nerves screamed to run, but her eyes were impaled on the glowering rage on that face.
Luz’s hand slid into her pocket, the crinkle of paper told the world it had been found.
Please. Please no.
It’s not real, I know it’s not!
“You’re nothing.” Luz hissed, grabbing the note with both hands. “You don’t deserve anything. All you’ve ever done is hurt me and my friends. You’re not good enough for anything.”
The note began to tear.
It’s not real.
“I’d rather die than go to Grom with you.”
Her gem glowed at her neck, her body turned rigid as her mother’s dagger of a voice echoed between her ears. She felt the tearing of paper in her skin as it fell to the ground. The damage rooted itself deep into her heart, exposed to stinging air. It dug deeper and deeper into her soul.
Deeper than hurt, deeper than pain.
‘Oh, Mittens… that’s not how the world works.’
“You’re a horrible person.” Luz condemned her. “You bullied Willow. You almost got me dissected, and all for a stupid gold star! You even made me fight Grom for you! Look at everything you’ve ruined!”
‘You’re nothing to her.’
“You’re just a mean, pathetic little coward.”
‘You serve her no purpose.’
“Why would I ever want you?”
‘She wouldn’t.’
“You’re no good.”
The words slithered into her veins like parasites. Sucked out her blood and wrenched her innards loose. Tears flooded behind her eyes, held back only by a dam built on years of instinct.
Blights don’t cry.
She hates me.
I knew it couldn’t be true.
No, it’s not real—I know it’s not!
Her eyes opened again, and all she could see was Luz with eyes of hurt and rage. The kind of look she saw every day. She couldn’t look at it. The words kept echoing, pounding harder and harder against her skull until her ears ached. She held onto her dress as a wall rose in her lungs. Air tried to break through, but only quiet, stifled gasps could escape the prison.
It was dark.
Ink every way she turned.
Not a single ray of grey to give her a path.
Not a molecule of air to drag into her lungs.
Nothing but their voices ripping open her memories and her thoughts. Shredding her every action apart and laying it out before her. Every failure, every misdeed, every maligned emotion, twisted to knives and turned on her.
She knelt down, taking half of the torn note—her single act in the light of hope—in her hands. She cradled its remains as footsteps disturbed the ocean. She stared at the ground, barely able to see the outlines of grass, and the tips of shoes just at the edge of her vision. A shape knelt down, a crinkle ticked in her ears, smoothing out into something softer.
A gasp echoed in the waves. “You were afraid of getting rejected…”
L… Luz?
Is this real? Or…
“Oh, Amity…”
The voice was sweet, so full of light that it drew her gaze up. In between heartbeats and tremors, she almost felt sure:
You’re the real Luz.
“It’s okay,” Luz coaxed, “What if I went to Grom with you instead?”
The wall crumbled, air rushing into her lungs. The raw, open wounds inside her bled into scabs in an instant, mended by nine words.
“Really?” Her body risked a smile and gambled on a hand lifted in a meager reach. She pushed the torn paper into her pocket.
You… you’d go with me?
Luz’s grin melted her breaking heart into something gooey, the cracks melting back into something that could beat. “That’s what friends do.”
Friends…
That’s… okay.
It’s good enough.
Just…
Please.
Please stay in my life…
. . . . . . . . . .
Amity stared out her window. The stars above practically glowed against the lightest layer of mist. Her box of keepsakes sat on her lap, opened and waiting for the tiara still set on her forehead. Memories of the night floated in front of her gaze.
“AMITY! PICTURE!”
An arm looped around her neck, and she was nearly thrown sideways as Luz stumbled backward in front of the lens.
Howls of raucous joy erupted about them as Luz threw her fist upward. Amity watched her glow as the world flashed white.
Four copies were made.
Not three. Four.
She slid hers into her pocket carefully, taking the extra moment to ensure it couldn’t crease.
“C’mon, guys, let’s go dance!” Gus had cheered. Willow squealed in agreement, snatching the illusionist by the hand and spinning effortlessly into the mess of bodies moving to music.
She nearly took a step away.
It’s just a picture.
It didn’t mean she belonged. It didn’t—
Luz turned, eyes brightening—everything brightening—as she reached out a hand toward Amity. “Come on! We can’t let those two outdo us.” She plotted through a smirk.
Oh my Titan, we’re dancing again?
No, it’s fine, I can do this.
As hand slid into hand, shockwaves ricocheted across her skin. Her nerves knew more than she did how much this mattered. How vital each step and sway was.
“I think this is the best school dance I’ve ever had.” Luz remarked, grinning too deeply for Amity to watch. If she looked up now, she’d feel fire on her face. Her voice strangled up a meager reply:
“M—me too.”
Her hand carefully extracted the photo.
She gazed it over, her eyes stuck in her own face. Cheeks red with emotion. Her eyes turned sideways. She blushed now, looking at it as tidal waves swept across her stupid, stupid heart.
Oh, Titan…
Her hand shook, muscles overcome with emotion.
She lowered the image gently into the box with an ache in her soul. Beside it sat the two halves of the note.
At the end of it all… she couldn’t bring herself to leave it behind.
The lull of sleep began to tug at her. She pulled the tiara from her head and held it, analyzing its every detail and every implication.
She went to Grom with me.
She wanted me in the picture.
She danced with me.
I… I want more.
I want more than friends.
The tiara weighed more than its metal. She set it into the box and closed the lid, taking one last look at the stars before she resigned herself to her bed.
As slumber stole her away, she dreamed of light.