Work Text:
Ministry Records, entry 289.
Account of Cardinal Rosemary Nightingale, regarding a big dog, given November 8th, 2011.
Statement begins.
I first joined the Ministry in March of 2008, as a washed up musician with an on and off drug habit and nowhere to go. At first I was apprehensive of accepting the invite to stay here, I didn't exactly have the best relationship with religious organisations. I grew up pretty catholic, actually I was really catholic. My father wasn't a great man but he was extremely devoted to his faith and to cut a long story short I was shunned and disowned for being, and I quote, "a sinful piece of shit destined to suffer in hell". Spoiler alert, I just happened to be bisexual. So when Cardinal Copia offered a place to live in the abbey, after my band kicked me out, I was understandably nervous. I didn't fully understand his religion at the time and my background made me very weary of anything regarding the occult, but with my only other option being the streets, I agreed and moved in.
Now, I would like preface this by saying this event happened shortly after I got clean again and had nothing to do with being under the influence of drugs.
Getting clean was hard, I remember the days of withdrawal and just how much of a bitch it had made me. I'm honestly surprised that Copia still wanted to be my friend, let alone lover. Sometimes when I'm asleep I still dream of the chills that I could feel in my very bones and the way that my skin crawled as if there were a thousand tiny spiders burrowing deep under the flesh, eating away at my nerves and making their homes in my veins. If I ever experience anything like that again in my lifetime, it will be too soon.
That being said, being freshly sober wasn't that much fun either. I spent most of my waking moments thinking about scoring. It was like an incurable itch, it felt as if I was drowning, the cravings would fill my lungs and choke me from the inside out. I truly believe that if it wasn't for Copia, I wouldn't have made it through that time, that I would have ended up another addict living on the streets or in a body bag on my way to the morgue.
It happened two weeks after I finished withdrawing. I wasn't sleeping much at the time for obvious reasons and instead would spend hours just exploring the abbey. From the outside it looks like a looming and imposing figure, imagine a vampire's lair in the middle of the woods. But once you get to know it, you realise that it is a warm place with warm people who have warm smiles. I really have come to love it here despite what happened.
That night started like any other. I had just given up trying to fall back to sleep once again and had decided to do my little ritual of wandering the halls of the abbey. You'd be surprised by how big the place actually is, especially at night. I'm not sure if it's the darkness or how sometimes the moonlight would hit just right through the stained glass, but it felt as if the corridors would go on forever. As I was walking however, I came across a hallway I had never seen before. It was darker than the others, to the point where I couldn't see the end of it. It smelt peculiar too.
The abbey has a very distinct scent, a palo santo and frankincense mix combined with the cold, mossy smell of the limestone walls. I had not lived there long at the time, but it had begun to feel comforting, like home, so when a damp, metallic odour hit my nose, the hair on the back of my neck stood up. I suddenly felt very very afraid, the kind of fear you get when you know that you're being watched. Instead of doing the smart thing and turning on my heels to run, I stepped forward. In my head it felt very logical at the time, what if someone was hurt? As my eyes adjusted to the dark my worst fears came to light. In front of me was a scarlet pool of thick, sticky blood. I felt my stomach drop and I had to hold back the heaving urge to throw up at the smell. I was so overcome by the realisation of what I was looking at that I almost didn't hear the low, rumbling growl that came from down the hallway.
My head shot up to see a pair of glowing crimson eyes staring back at me. I thought it was maybe a ghoul to start with, it wasn't uncommon to find the hellish creatures roaming around at night. Just as the thought crossed my mind, the thing stepped forwards just enough for me to make out the faint outline of its form. It was huge and if it wasn't for its size I would have thought it was a dog of sorts - definitely not a ghoul. I stood frozen in fear as it growled again, I had no idea what to do or where to go. The dog-like creature continued to stalk forward, I was now its prey.
Fight or flight is a weird thing, your brain makes a split second decision that solidifies whether or not you live or die. My brain chose flight, there was no way on Earth that I could take on this monster and make it out alive. I also knew that there was a high chance the thing would catch me if I ran, but I preferred this option. I remembered that there was a supply cupboard back down the hallway I had come from, if I could just get there, maybe I could lock myself in. And so I ran. I have never run like that in my life, I could feel my lungs screaming and the ache in my calves but I kept pushing forward. I could hear the dog chasing me, its hot panting breaths brushed against my ankles and for a moment I could have sworn it was about to lunge forwards and dig its sharp canines into the back of my legs. I could smell its foul breath, it reeked of copper and raw meat and made my stomach churn.
I'm not sure how I made it to that cupboard, but I did. It was all a blur and the last thing I remember was launching myself through the door, slamming it behind me and using my body weight to hold it shut. Luckily there was a lock on the inside and I quickly turned it and lowered myself to the floor. There was clawing on the other side as the dog scratched relentlessly at the wood that stood between the two of us, the bloodthirsty creature was desperate to get to me. I cried, I'm not ashamed. I covered my ears with my hands and sobbed until my throat was raw and the skin around my eyes was burned by salty tears. I can't tell you how long it was until it stopped but the next thing I remembered was the latch clicking above my head.
It was the cleaner who found me curled up in that closet, I was a trembling mess of nerves and terror and practically screamed when he unlocked the door. Everybody was convinced that I was coming down from a nasty trip, scrutinising and testing me over and over. Nobody had heard the chase, nor did they know of that weird hallway. Even I began to question if what I had seen had been a hallucination, I walked my path over and over with Copia as I tried to find proof of what happened. There was no blood, no scratch marks on the floors or door, nothing. But I know what I saw, I know that it was real.
I couldn't sleep alone for the next week and camped on Copia's shitty leather sofa in his quarters. I was riddled with nightmares and would wake up screaming during the night, convinced that I could hear distant howls and the faint scratching at the door. I asked as many people as I could about the encounter, trying to determine if anyone else had come across anything odd. Considering this place is known for the ghosts lurking its halls and demonic rituals to summon ghouls from the pit, you would think occurrences such as this would have happened more often. But apparently not - that or people just didn't talk about them for the fear of inviting unwanted spirits.
It wasn't until a year later that I discovered that there had been several disappearances from the local village with reports of screams coming from the woods. It is safe to say that I no longer walk the abbey alone at night.
Statement ends.