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It'd been a nice day, xB and Beef spending some time together on a lovely date. Liter, Beef's son, was off with Etho on a father-son fishing trip while Mirabel was with her parents.
This all made for a fun situation together. Simply talking, walking through the nearby grove, joking amongst each other. During the day, there was no sign of any possible disaster.
When night hit, Beef dragged xB into his bed for a tasteful bit of sex. Nothing too big, just some time spent in each other's embrace.
Then Beef went to sleep with xB in his arms. Nothing big, just boyfriends being boyfriends.
Everything was per usual up until he woke in the middle of the night to grunting, groaning, then a high wail he hasn't heard since Liter was…
Where was xB?
Beef sat up in bed, looked around the room, but there was no sign of the other man.
Crawling out of bed, he made his way towards the high wailing.
It was coming from his bathroom and was followed by low hushing and murmuring from a tired voice.
Beef peers into the room and his jaw drops.
There was xB as naked as he was the night before with a baby on his chest. Pale skin is on pale skin, little scales dappled the two bodies and shimmer even in the dark of the unlit room.
The water has a faint, pink-ish hue to it, like someone had bled slightly into it.
"I know you're there, Beef." xB's voice is tired but full of care as he speaks.
Beef creeps in further, turning on the light but regretting it as the guardian seafolk winces.
"Did— did you give birth in my bathtub?" Beef asks in pure shock
"I mean…" xB looks too to guppy on his chest. "I am fish, so…"
"Right, stupid question." Beef nods rapidly.
xB's attention isn't on Beef, instead on the little lump he's cradling against himself.
They don't have much hair, not even an ounce of peachfuzz, completely bald. There are patches of scales on their still wet skin, slick with fluids and water and honestly…
The baby looks a bit squished and ugly, different to how Liter had come out. Smooshed and small and a scaly little thing.
"You were pregnant?" Is the next thing from Beef's mouth. "This whole time?"
"Apparently." xB shrugs. "Thought it was just indigestion."
"You thought a baby was indigestion…" Beef mutters.
"What else was I supposed to think it was?" xB asks as he tilts his head to the side.
"I don't know!" Beef exclaims in some muddled emotion he can't quite point to other than pure shock.
"Well sorry I've never been pregnant before I guess?" xB shrugs.
Before Beef is able to say another thing, his boyfriend is wincing as one hand slides down to his belly.
Thinking about it, xB had gained a bit of plushness to his already existing fat, but not enough to question if he was pregnant or not.
"Is everything okay?" Beef asks quickly as he comes up to the side of the tub, dropping to his knees right next to it. "Is there another one?"
"I need you to shut up," xB says through a grunt, "and let me focus."
Beef's eyes dart around. To his suffering boyfriend, to the towels, to the whole baby on his chest. Was the baby Beef's? Did he have another kid? Or perhaps it was from someone else? Possibly even Keralis? No, Papa K was infertile, unable to give and everyone knew that now.
The minotaur offers up his hand after a moment for xB to take, but the guardian just holds tighter to the body on his chest as he grunts again. Reflex, Beef thinks, or a need to protect the baby from everything that could possibly hurt it.
It all ends when xB gasps and lets his head fall back against the tile behind his head. His breathing turns steady and the water turns even pinker from a mass in the water.
That mass didn't look baby shaped from where Beef sits. He reaches out a hand, but xB is swatting it away.
"Placenta, I think." xB says tiredly.
"Oh, that makes sense…" Beef says as he blinks down at the thing between xB's legs. "I, uh… I should call someone, shouldn't I?"
xB knocks his head against Beef's as he huffs with affection.
"Doc for the birth things and, uh… X to check your code maybe?" Beef sounds unsure as he speaks, a bit shaky too. "Oh, and to get baby registered."
"We could walk over to Doc's base." xB offers. "He's not that far away."
"Babe, I'm not making you walk in your condition." Beef says sternly.
xB frowns, especially as Beef pulls away and goes to leave the room.
Beef fumbles in the dark for a moment as he puts on clothes before finding his comm on a spot by the bed.
Honestly, it only felt like tonight was just beginning.
— ❁ - ❁ - ❁ —
Doc is the first to arrive to Beef's starter base. He's cursing up a storm in german as his goat hooves scrape against the carpet of the bedroom, He's talking too fast for Beef to even catch a single word.
"The middle of the night too? Seriously?" Doc says as he finally switches over.
"It's not my fault!" Beef exclaims.
"'Not your fault'? You called me without explanation! Begged me to come over!" Doc shouts back. "Under a full moon no less. Do you know how distressed Ren and the pups get without me?"
"I just— please just follow me into the bathroom, okay?" Beef begs his friend.
"Alright." Doc huffs.
When the two men finally enter into the master bathroom, xB looks half-dead. Beef's heart almost skips a beat as he gets to xB, setting a hand onto his boyfriend's shoulder and watching as he's shocked awake.
xB grumbles, looking around at them before moving to lean up against Beef as best he can.
The creeper chimera stands there for what feels like hours, simply staring down at them before groaning.
"Don't tell me," Doc says as he pinches his rabbit-like snout, "Cryptic pregnancy? Right?"
"There's a word for it?" Beef asks, more than a little baffled.
"It happens more than you think." Doc sighs before sitting down. "You're lucky I keep my med kit on me."
From there, Doc pulls a duffle bag out of his inventory and sets it onto the cool tile floor.
"xB, I will need to ask you a few questions and poke around your body. This may have to include putting my hand into you." Doc explains as he puts on a set of latex gloves.
"Alright." xB nods.
Doc is blinking as he stares into the water, his attention drawn to a blob that he grabs and sets onto the thick rim of the tub.
"How long ago were they born?" Doc asks as he goes looking through his bag.
"Half an hour ago I think?" xB answers. "Haven't really kept track of time, everything feels so slow."
"That happens when your brain is on fire." Doc says as he pulls out a red box. "What do you want me to do with the placenta?"
xB hums in consideration, both hands on the infant against his chest. "Is eating it a valid response?"
"What." Beef quickly interjects.
"It's a normal behavior." Doc nods before explaining, "For seafolk, the cord usually severs itself and the adult eats the placenta, hides from any possible predation or general opponent.
"Birth is also usually done in shallower waters and reefs, probably why you had them in the bath." Doc adds on.
xB nods, his blue eyes back on the infant. "It was this or the pool."
"The bath was a better idea, we can't have them being born in chlorine." Doc says as he takes the placenta and puts it into the red box. "For safe keeping until you're in a better mind to decide."
"Thanks, Doc." xB says, a slight smile to his lips.
"Now comes the uncomfortable part." Doc says as he takes off his gloves, replacing them with a new set.
"Beef," xB calls to his boyfriend's attention, "Can you hold the little guy for a bit?"
"Oh, yeah…" Beef nods, but sits back after as he says it. "Let me grab a towel first, keep them clean and warm."
The guardian seafolk nods as he watches Beef intently. His boyfriend looks around the bathroom, not willing to grab one of the good towels from the rack, but also not wanting to wrap this new baby up in one that he uses to clean up brewing mishaps.
In the silence, his desperation is answered by Doc handing him one of the towels from his bag. It's soft, nice against his skin.
"Here, let me have them." Beef murmurs to the tired man.
The infant is slid gently into the plush towel, their little nose wrinkling like they're about to cry again, but they settle once Beef holds them.
It reminds him of when he first held Liter. The smallest little guy he could ever hold in his strong arms, muscles dwarfing the thing in his steady arms.
"Okay, everything seems clear." Doc says as he pulls back. "But I'll have to keep an hourly check on you before Xisuma gets here in the morning."
xB nods as he rests his head back against Beef's, little spikey horns of yellow rubbing up to light skin.
"I'll leave you two for the time being." Doc says as he once again takes off his blood smeared gloves. "You do have a guest bedroom here, right?"
"Uh… no… just mine and Liter's." Beef replies.
Doc's lips are pulled into a thin line, but he pulls his duffle bag together and leaves the bathroom either way.
The two of them are left in the room on their own, simply taking in the fact that there is just now a new baby in their lives.
Their scales are a different color to xB's, Beef can't help but notice that. Instead of the deep blues with a splash of orange, it is instead in the reverse. Further upon that, they have a set of nubs on their squished forehead. Once again Beef can't help but state just how smushed and wrinkly the baby is, like an off-color raisin or something.
"Anchovy, I want to name him Anchovy." xB announces after a moment. "My second favorite fish."
"Behind guardians, I'm guessing?" Beef asks with a chuckle.
"Yeah…" xB replies before yawning. "My mom used to make this amazing anchovy paste all the time. Put it on everything growing up.
"Maybe we could make some, I've been craving it for months."
"Huh, wonder why." He laughs.
xB nudges him playfully as he shakes his head.
The baby, Anchovy, is calm in his hold. Sleeping just as any newborn might after the first few hours of their birth.
The guardian holds out a hand, dragging one finger along the baby's cheek.
"I think he's yours…" xB murmurs, it seems like tiredness is catching up to him.
"I'd be fine either way." Beef says with a smile. "Would you?"
"Be fine with you being the other dad?" xB echoes the unsaid. "I wouldn't mind."
"Are— are you happy with this change of events?" Beef asks carefully.
"I don't mind it as much as I thought I would." xB shrugs. "He's a pretty cute guy."
Beef winces at that, all he can see is a squished thing covered in fluids, but to each their own.
"Hey, Anchovy." xB murmurs. "Sorry I didn't know about you. I'll try to be a better dad from now on."
Beef chuckles softly. "I think he might just have the two most unobservant dads on the server."
xB hums sleepily before turning to lay on his side. "I think I might sleep here for the time being."
"You sure about that?" Beef asks gently.
"Yeah… water's comfortable." xB says before yawning.
"Alright, babe." Beef murmurs gently. "I'll set up a nest in here then."
"Are you sure?" xB echoes.
"Yeah, gotta keep our little family together." Beef smiles brightly.
xB mirrors that smile, but doesn't stay awake long enough for Beef to come back with blankets and pillows.
He sets up a makeshift bed on the ground before pulling Anchovy close to him. Beef quietly wishes he still had onesies from when Liter had been this little, but he'd given them away as hand-me-downs to Joel when he had Lillith.
How funny to think he didn't have clothes for a cryptid pregnancy baby because of another cryptic pregnancy baby.