Chapter Text
Loop 1
There’s not an alarm or anything. I just get a shiver. A weird feeling. I’m in the lab checking the taumoeba tanks when it happens. Maybe I’m just cold. It wouldn’t surprise me. I’ve begun supplementing my coma slurry with taumoeba. This could be my body starting to starve. I’d better check the environmental controls in the control room. Same as they always are.
I hear a little crackle of static over the comm line. It’s probably just the cosmic background radiation. I almost go back into the lab when I hear it again. White noise. But from where?
“Fuck…” I hear a human voice say. Then more static.
How is there a human this far out in space? What am I picking up? A signal from Earth maybe?
“Get me…” the voice crackles.
The Hail Mary’s AI voice then cuts in and says, “Blip D detected.”
Blip D? This is too weird. There is no way there are humans out here in interstellar space. There shouldn’t be anything out here.
“Out…” shouts the voice.
There’s no denying there’s someone out there, as far fetched as that may be. It sounds like they need help. I lean over to the microphone, not sure what to say. I pause before hitting the transmit button.
“Hello?” I say.
“You fuckers!” the voice says.
“Hello,” I say again. “This is, uh, Captain Grace? Of the Hail Mary?” Why did I phrase those statements like questions? I’m nervous. I haven’t seen another human being in, well 13 years or so? I take a deep breath.
“Nice try. Let me talk to Ava!,” yells the voice.
“There’s no Ava here,” I say.
“What? No, I was just talking to her! Put her back on, now!” the voice demanded.
I’m starting to get scared. He sounds unhinged.
“Who Grace talking to?” asks Rocky, scuttling in his tunnel into the control room.
“Rocky, there’s a person out there,” I say, my eyes wide.
“No people. Just space. Grace feel ok, question?” asks Rocky.
The radio crackles to life again.
“I did everything you asked, Ava. We had a deal. I do this and then I’m free. Now let me out!”
Rocky looks at me, as much as he can without any eyes. “Human in space, question?”
“There’s a blip on the radar. I think we should go check it out,” I say.
“Yes, check blip. Maybe humans there,” says Rocky.
“This is Grace again,” I say into the mic, “We’re coming to get you.”
I adjust the course.
“Stop fucking with me! Ava? Ava can you hear me,” he screams.
I have to turn down the volume. “No, there’s no Ava,” I say. “Listen, I will get you out of wherever you are. Just calm down.”
We’re coming within visual range of blip D. It’s an oblong metal tube. Strange design for a deep space vessel. It’s small, too. Like it’s made for one person. It looks more banged up than the Hail Mary. What did he go through out here?
“Uh, so where’s your airlock?” I ask.
“You know there isn’t one. You welded me in here!” says the voice.
“I didn’t, you know, never mind. I’ll figure something out. I’m coming to get you.” There’s a ring from the tunnel still attached to the Hail Mary. If I line that up right with this vessel, I could cut my way in with the astrophage torch.
“Rocky, looks like I’m going on a spacewalk.” I maneuver the ship into position and get suited up.
“Grace be careful,” says Rocky.
“I will, bud,” I say. “Now, go to your workshop and stay there. Until I know if this guy is safe, I don’t want him knowing about you. Human thing.” I don’t want to have to explain how unreasonable and violent humans can be right now. I just don’t want to put Rocky in danger.
I step into the airlock and wait for it to depressurize. I open the door. I step out into the remnant of the tunnel and get out some xenonite adhesive to attach it to the other ship. He wasn’t kidding about being welded in. I fire up the astrophage torch.
I knock on the side of the ship as I’m about to begin, hoping he reads it as “back up.” I wouldn’t be able to hear if he knocked back, so I start cutting. The ship is going to depressurize into the tunnel, but it will work.
It takes a while to cut through the metal hull of the ship. When I’m done, I kick in the door I just made. I feel a whoosh of air pressure filling the small airlock I created. What I see is pure horror. The walls and floor of the ship look like they’re covered in blood. It’s pretty dark in there. A figure emerges from the shadows. It’s a one-armed man.
“Hi,” I say, raising a hand, feeling a little awkward.
The man just stumbles past me, getting blood on my suit, and heads for the airlock door.
“Ok, what is this?” the man asks, looking around. “This isn’t the surface station.”
“No,” I say. “It’s the Hail Mary.” I step into the air lock and cycle it. It doesn't take long because it’s already partially pressurized. When it’s done, I take off my helmet. I can see him more clearly now. He’s got long dark hair, is bigger than me, and is covered in the blood-red substance. I open the air lock door and reveal the inside of the ship.
“I’ve never heard of a Hail Mary. Are you C.O.I.?” he asks.
“C.O.I.? No, I’m uh, NASA I guess,” I say.
“NASA? No, you can’t be. NASA’s on Earth, and Earth is gone,” he says.
“I’m from Earth,” I say. “It was there when I left 13 years ago. What do you mean it’s gone.”
“The Quiet Rapture,” he says. “Don’t you remember?”
Rapture? Like the religious thing? I never paid much attention to that stuff.
“Let’s table that for a minute. I didn’t get your name,” I say.
He pauses, sizing me up. “Simon,” he says, turning to look around at all the lights in the control room.
“Ryland,” I say gesturing at myself. “Nice to meet you.” I hold out my hand. He does not take it. I put it back down by my side.
I’m getting a gnawing feeling in my stomach. “I bet you’re hungry, Simon. Why don’t we have something to eat.”
I lead him back to the lab. He doesn’t say anything, but he’s looking around like he’s never seen anything like it. I pour us two beakers of coma/taumoeba slurry.
“Sorry, it doesn’t taste very good, but it’s all I have,” I say.
He takes it and drinks it greedily. He doesn’t even make a face.
“So,” I say, “where are you from.”
“Eden,” he says.
“What’s Eden? A city?” I ask.
“Eden is a space station,” he says. Okay then. He’s from a space station. This is not adding up.
“I’m from San Francisco,” I offer.
“I don’t believe you,” he says. “In fact, I don’t believe any of this. Is this some kind of a psychological test? Who are you really? What was in this food you just gave me? Was it drugged? You’re not sending me back are you? Because we had a deal! I go down and take pictures, you let me go free. I got your pictures of whatever that creepy thing is down there, and now I’ll take my freedom! I just want to live!” He’s getting really heated. He’s pointing at me aggressively. I back up and put up my hands.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, buddy. I’m not here to test you or hurt you, and I’m definitely not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do. I’m just here to help.”
He puts his one arm behind his head. “I don’t know what’s happening!” he says.
“Hey, I don’t either,” I say, wishing I could reach out and comfort the man. “Why don’t we get you cleaned up, huh?”
I take him to Armando and stay by his side as the multi-armed robot makes its assessment. Then it retracts into the ceiling and comes back with a bunch of first aid supplies. I go over to the sink and get him a sponge so he can at least wipe some of the red stuff off of him.
Armando cleans an area on his arm and inserts an IV. “Dehydration,” it says.
Then it starts cleaning the amputation wound. “Infection,” it says.
The guy isn’t acting like it hurts at all when Armando presses on the wound to clean it.
“So, what’s all over you?” I ask.
“Blood,” he says. That seems like way more blood than could be just his.
“There’s so much? Is it all yours?” Maybe there’s a body on that ship.
“No,” he says. This guy is king of one-word answers.
“Whose is it?”
“I don’t know. It was all over that moon,” he says.
“Uh, moon? Of blood?”
“Yeah, one of four that were found. I was sent to explore the bottom. There was something down there. It was attacking my ship when it suddenly stopped. Then you showed up.”
Great, ship eating blood monster. I guess that’s as plausible as tiny cell that survives on sun.
Then, his eyes roll back in his head. He passes out on the table. His body goes rigid and starts convulsing. I quickly scan the room for anything he could bite down on. I remember the ruler. I stick it in his mouth. He’s still seizing. Then he stops. Armando’s arms come down and start doing chest compressions. No, no, no, this can’t be happening. The first human I’ve seen in years can’t die!
“No detectable heartbeat,” says Armando.
…
I shiver. It must be cold in here, I think. I’ll check on the environmental controls later. I have to finish checking the taumoeba tanks. That’s weird. There are two empty beakers on the lab table. I know I cleaned up after breakfast. Maybe I just imagined it. I do feel a little dizzy. This must be the starvation setting in.
Loop 2
I tinker around in the lab for a bit. I’m feeling a little better now. I’m done, so I head up to the control room to check on that environmental issue, but the readout says the same thing it says every day. Nothing has changed here in two years. I don’t know why it would be different today. As I’m about to leave, I hear a crackle on the radio. I get a slight feeling of déjà vu.
“Fuck…” I hear a human voice say. Then more static.
How is there a human this far out in space? What am I picking up? A signal from Earth maybe?
“Get me…” the voice crackles.
The Hail Mary’s AI voice then cuts in and says, “Blip D detected.”
Blip D? This is too weird. There is no way there are humans out here in interstellar space. There shouldn’t be anything out here.
“Out…” shouts the voice.
There’s no denying there’s someone out there, as far fetched as that may be. It sounds like they need help. I lean over to the microphone, not sure what to say. I pause before hitting the transmit button.
“Hello?” I say.
“Fuck you, you fuckers, stop fucking with me and get me the fuck out of here!” says the voice.
This is the first human voice I’ve heard in over two years, and boy is it angry. There’s somebody stuck in the blip D.
“Ok, ok, hold on. I’m gonna get you out,” I say, having no present idea how I’m going to do that.
“Who Grace talking to, question?” I hear Rocky say. He comes scrambling up the tunnel.
“Rock, there’s somebody out there!” I say. “He’s asking for help! We have to go save him!”
“Excite! Grace Rocky save human!”
“Exactly, bud,” and we fist bump.
I maneuver the ship over to the Blip D. That’s weird. There’s no air lock. Did they shoot this guy into space in a tin can? That’s what it looks like. I’m going to have to do a spacewalk just to create an opening for this guy. I pull up so our hulls are touching. The remnant of the tunnel is still attached to the air lock.
“Rocky, can I have some of that xenonite adhesive?” I ask. I have a crazy idea. Well, not so crazy since Rocky has done it before. I’m going to bind our two ships together and create an air lock that way. Assuming I can get it open. For that I’ll use the astrophage torch. Ok, I have a plan.
Rocky comes back. “Xenonite adhesive in airlock.”
“Thanks, bud. I’ll go get it. Now, I want you to stay hidden,” I say, getting into my space suit. I’m going to be bringing in a stranger. He doesn’t exactly sound stable. I want to make sure who I’m dealing with before introducing you. He could be dangerous.
“Understand. Will hide,” says Rocky. He scampers off down the tunnel.
I get back on the radio. “Hello again. I’m coming to get you. Get away from the wall, ok?” I hope that’s enough to convey what I’m about to do.
I finish with the astrophage torch and kick in the hull of the Blip D. It’s dark, but there’s a figure in a hood standing in the middle of the room. He steps out, looks me up and down, and walks right by me. He takes off the hood and looks around. I can see clearly now, he’s only got one arm.
“What is this place?” he says. “This isn’t the surface station? Where have you taken me? Where’s Ava?”
“Whoa, whoa, ok, this is the Hail Mary. I’m Ryland. There’s no Ava here. You’re not on any surface, you’re still in space.”
“Still in space? Buddy, I was just at the bottom of the blood ocean,” he says.
Blood ocean? There’s not even a planet around here. What’s he talking about? I’m too distracted to question him about it though.
“Is that blood?” I ask, pointing to his clothes.
“You know it is. Aren’t you C.O.I.?”
“C.O.I.? Is that some kind of new agency? No, I work for NASA.”
“NASA’s long gone buddy,” he says, clapping me on the shoulder and leaving a bloody handprint on my suit. Now, where can I get some food? You guys tried to starve me down there.”
“Right, ok, here come in. I’ll get you something to eat. By the way, I didn’t get your name.”
“Simon,” he says.
Simon and I dine on two lovely beakers of taumoeba and coma slurry. He downs it like it doesn’t taste like pond scum. He must have been very hungry.
“So where are you from?” I ask.
“Eden,” he says.
“I haven’t heard of it,” I say. “Is it a small town?”
“It’s a space station,” he says.
“I’m sorry, a space station? That’s not possible,” I know I’ve done a bunch of time dilated travel, but that timeline still makes no sense.
“Yeah, you live on one, too, don’t you?”
“Well, actually I live on this ship.”
“With your C.O.I crew, right. Ok, come out guys, I know you’re here!” he shouts.
“Look, I’m…I don’t have a crew, per se.”
“On a ship this big?”
“Yeah, well, no, see I have a roommate,” I stutter. Oh pickles, I’m really doing this. “Come on out, Rocky,” I say.
Rocky comes skittering into the lab in his tube. Simon jumps back.
“What the fuck is that thing?” he yells.
Rocky cowers. This is not going well.
“Simon, this is Rocky. He’s an Eridian. He’s from another planet. I’m giving him a ride home.”
Rocky trills. He says he’s scared of the big human, but I don’t translate for Simon.
Simon blinks in disbelief. Then he shakes his head and says, “Not even the weirdest shit I’ve seen today.”
“Why, what else have you seen?”
“When I was at the bottom of the blood ocean, I saw some sort of huge skeleton, but it moved.”
Again with the blood ocean. This makes no sense, but for some reason I accept it, like it’s not the first time I’ve heard it.
“Do you have somewhere I can clean up?”
“Uh, yeah,” I say, “come with me.” I show him to the lab. He’s at the sink using a sponge to get some of the blood off.
Suddenly, he doubles over in pain and collapses. There’s blood running down half his face. I shout for Armando, who is already on the way with an IV and oxygen mask. It treats him right there on the floor, and I sit down on my knees beside him. Armando cleans his arm so it can take some blood.
Simon grabs my shirt. He’s awake again. That’s a good sign. He looks up with me, tears in his eyes. “Ryland,” he gasps. He’s fading out again.
“No, no, no, stay with me,” I say, slapping his cheek. His grip loosens on my shirt. His arm falls to the floor.
“Patient unresponsive,” says Armando.
…
I get a sudden dizzy, shivery feeling. I have to sit down. I put my head in my hands. I definitely have a headache. Maybe it’s the lack of vitamins. I’ve been rationing coma slurry lately and mixing it with taumoeba, which has almost no nutritional value other than calories. Did I not clean up after breakfast? I left my dirty dishes out, I guess, as I start to clean up the two beakers on the table. Why am I getting major deja vu right now? Why do I feel like I need to go to the control room right this minute? It feels like I’m forgetting something important, but I don’t know what.
Loop 3
I find myself going into the control room, but not remembering why I’m going there. I hate it when that happens. I sit in the pilot’s seat. Then I hear a faint sound over the speaker. Is that static? We shouldn’t be picking anything up out here.
“Fuck…” I hear a human voice say. Then more static.
How is there a human this far out in space? What am I picking up? A signal from Earth maybe?
“Get me…” the voice crackles.
The Hail Mary’s AI voice then cuts in and says, “Blip D detected.”
Blip D? This is too weird. There is no way there are humans out here in interstellar space. There shouldn’t be anything out here. I start maneuvering towards it.
“Out…” shouts the voice.
Why does this voice sound familiar?
“Simon?” I ask over comms.
“Who are you? How did you know that?” the voice barks.
How did I know that? “Lucky guess?” I say, but as a question. This is awkward.
“Look, I don’t know who you are,” he continues, “or if you’re even real, but if there is any chance you can get me up, please, I’m done. I did my job. I’m free now, that was the deal,” says the voice.
“Human sound angry,” Rocky says.
“Yeah,” I say, but something tells me he isn’t a threat. “Rocky, go get me the xenonite glue.”
Why is there a red handprint on my space suit?
…
I kick down the door I just made in the hull. There’s a one-armed man standing in the shadows. He limps toward me and puts his hand on my shoulder for balance.
“Took you long enough,” he says. “Where is this? This isn’t the surface station.”
I feel like I’ve had this exact conversation.
“You’re on the Hail Mary. I’m Ryland.” I open the door to the control room where Rocky is still waiting in his tube. “And this is Rocky.” Rocky does jazz hands.
“What is it?” Simon asks, turning to me.
“He’s Eridian. He’s basically a big rock spider that communicates with music. He can understand you by the way,” I explain.
“He’s friendly?” Simon asks.
“Oh, yeah, we’re best friends,” I say.
“So, you’re Ryland and your best friend is a rock,” he says. “I’m hallucinating.”
“No, I assure you, this is real.”
“No place is this too clean. No one is…no one is this nice. What do you want? I have nothing.”
“I’m not expecting compensation, if that’s what you mean,” I try to reassure him. “Here, why don’t we get you down to the dormitory. You look injured. There’s a medical robot on this ship.”
We start down to the dormitory and then we pass the window. Simon looks out.
“Stars,” he says breathlessly.
“Yeah, stars. Just like everywhere in space. I thought you grew up on a space station?” How did I know that? This is really starting to freak me out. My palms are sweaty.
“There are no stars, not where I’m from. Haven’t been for years,” he says, not taking his eyes off the window. He didn’t notice what I just said.
“That’s not possible,” I tell him. “Stars don’t just go out,” I say, then I stop myself because actually, stars can just go out, that’s why I’m out here. “Wait,” I say, “do you have an astrophage problem?”
“Astro- what?”
“Astrophage, the star eater. We’ve got the predator that eats it aboard. We’re taking it to Erid to save their sun.”
“Star eater. Are you saying that’s what caused the Quiet Rapture?”
“If that’s what you call all the stars going out, then yes.”
We don’t have time for this, I think. We have to get him to the dormitory.
“Come on, you can look some more later. Right now you need medical attention.”
I finally get him set up with Armando, who is giving him fluids and antibiotics for the arm. I go get us something to eat. I have nothing to offer but coma slurry mixed with taumoeba, but it’ll have to do.
“Here,” I say, handing him a beaker of slurry mix.
He takes it gratefully and starts drinking it like it’s the first food he’s seen in days. I quietly sip mine.
“Have we met?” I ask, finally working up the courage.
“No, I’ve never met you before in my life. But thanks for this,” he raises his beaker in a cheers gesture and then puts it down.
“So how did you end up on that ship?”
“It’s not a ship it’s a submarine. They threw me down in that blood ocean, said they’d free me if I did what they told me. I’m not trained for anything. I’m nothing more than a convict.”
“A convict? What did you do?” I ask, starting to get scared. What happened to him? I look over at Rocky.
“What is word, question?” Rocky asks.
“Convict, it’s a person who’s been convicted of a crime,” I tell him. Simon goes back to drinking the slurry.
“Is criminal? Danger, danger!” trills Rocky. He’s scared, too. I make a motion for Rocky to leave. I want to protect him if this goes sideways.
“I didn’t do it,” Simon says.
“Do what?” I ask innocently.
“Destroy Filament Station,” he says.
“You were wrongly convicted?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’ve been in jail ever since. This was supposed to be my ticket out. I wish I’d never found what I found.”
“Why, what’s down there?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Besides, you’re probably a product of my own mind anyway. That’s how you know things about me, right? Because you’re in my head. Because this is all in my head. Because I’m actively dying right now?” He’s starting to hyperventilate.
“Hey, deep breaths, ok?” I say and try to model slow deep breathing for him. He calms down a little. “I promise you’re not dying. You’re here with me.” I take his hand and place it on my chest. “I’m real. This is real.”
He looks at me with watery eyes, then withdraws his hand.
I take his empty beaker with mine and put them on the lab table. He’s lying down now. Good. I go over to him to check.
“How are you feeling?” I ask.
He groans and coughs up some blood. “Oh no,” I say and I go to the sink to get something to clean up his face and when I come back there’s blood running down his cheek onto the bed. “Armando!” I call. The robot arms come down and start dealing with the blood, but there’s more and more coming out as I see long sharp bones start protruding through his cheek. His body starts seizing, and there’s nothing I can do.
“Simon!” I yell. “Stay with me!” He stops seizing. His eyes flutter open and he grabs me by the shirt.
“I don’t want to die,” he says, blood bubbling from the holes in his cheek where there are now razor sharp teeth.
“You’re not gonna die!” I say. I feel wetness on my face. I’m crying. Crying over someone I just met. His body goes limp. His hand falls to the bed.
…
I feel my whole body start shivering all of a sudden as I’m standing in the lab testing the taumoeba. I bring my hand up to the side of my head and close my eyes tight. It hurts.
“There’s no time,” I say to myself. Why did I say that? I hurry to the control room as fast as I can.