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The price of fame was high, she’d been told that again and again. Dorothea thought she understood that. There were always people who’d be out to get her. Be it jealousy over her success, desire for her, or other emotions. That was what this world was like. While it was filled with cleanliness and purity on the outside, the inside was much more insidious and cutthroat.
A lump formed in her throat in response to a hiss. Said lump threatened to suffocate her if her guilt didn’t do it first. Her pain was nothing compared to his. The man sitting in front of her, Sylvain, protected her from an assailant.
“Why the long face? This is my job, I’m literally being paid to do this.” He said with a wink.
Many say you shouldn’t mix love with work. They were probably right, but the heart wanted what the heart wanted. What was once a contractual obligation, bloomed into something beautiful. He was no longer just doing this for a paycheck. Or, maybe he never was. He did what he did because he cared about her.
“You… got hurt. Badly. On my behalf…”
Sylvain flashed his trademark smile. “I couldn’t let him ruin your lovely face and make up could I? So don’t cry, or I’ll have to stop you too.”
Dorothea sighed. Even now, he had to play the tough guy. Despite the large bruise on his ribs. There was no one to perform for. He should just be able to let his guard down, but he’s not. What would she have to do to let him know he was safe with her?
Maybe he wasn’t. He was attacked because she wasn’t paying attention. It all happened so quickly, she wasn’t sure what to do. She was just walking down the street with her boyfriend, and out of nowhere came some sort of mugger. He was brandishing a knife, using the darkness of night as his cover. She didn’t know what exactly his aim was, and she didn’t think she wanted to know.
Sylvain’s quick reaction time stopped either of them from being stabbed, and their life being stolen away from them. He managed to knock the knife away thankfully, but they still obviously had their fists. They knocked the wind out of him, but Sylvain persevered. He kept the man from running away while Dorothea called the police.
She hadn’t even realized he’d been hurt at first. He was so good at hiding his pain. She could understand having to wear a mask from time to time, however it did start to get hot after a while. Not even just to hide things, but as an songstress, one had to know how to efficiently swap between their faces. Even she’d let her guard down sometimes, granted it was only around close friends.
She really couldn’t blame him for not feeling like she was a safe space. She blinked away her tears born of self loathing. If only she were stronger. If only she could protect him. She’d do anything to be the one on the floor, catching her breath. Than the one sitting around, not being able to do a damn thing but feel sorry for herself.
“I’m sorry.”
Sylvain looked up at her. “Sorry…? What for? Did you hire that punk?” He teased.
Dorothea grabbed a bandage. “Sorry you were hurt because of me.”
Sylvain’s eyes widened. He then proceeded to shrug. “I’d do it over and over again if it meant you were safe.”
“But what about you? You matter too.”
He frowned. Dorothea waited a bit for a response, with seconds feeling like hours. Yet, his snarky comeback never came. He didn’t tease, he didn’t say anything. Something about that lit her chest aflame. Did he really just… have such little care for himself?
“Sylvain! You can’t possibly really think that you don’t matter!”
“You…” He began. “You make so many people happy, you know? Your songs mean a lot to so many around the world. I don’t matter compared to that.” He looked into her eyes. “You can’t die Dorothea. No matter what. If you did, so many would go down with you. Flip the script, and people would be able to move on. I’m not saying no one would care. I’m not even saying I want to die. Just that, I’m expendable.”
Dorothea’s mouth dried up. She didn’t know how to respond to something like that. She knew that people counted on her, and adored her. But the same was true of Sylvain. Just because he wasn’t a famous songstress didn’t mean his life held less value. It wasn’t even just her that cared about him. He had friends who’d probably never move on from losing him.
She got her thoughts together, and started wrapping the bandage around him. “There are a lot of people who love me around the world. But not a single one of them, love me like you do. To lose that love… call me selfish but… I don’t think I’d ever be able to recover. To the day I die, I’d never find someone like you. Someone who could take your place. That’s not even getting into your friends. Like Felix, Dimitri, Ingrid, just to name a few. You affect everyone you meet. You can’t just… take that away. You’re not expendable Sylvain.”
Dorothea leaned in and wrapped her arms around Sylvain’s shoulders, resisting the urge to squeeze him. She doubted he believed her, but she’d keep telling him until he did. She refused to let her boyfriend, and the man who protected her with his life, think that his life wasn’t important. Every life was important as far as she was concerned. His life though? Even higher than the average person.
She kissed his cheek, and rested her head on top of his. Warmth spread throughout her body, and she hoped the same was happening to him. If it was, he wasn’t really showing it. He was still silent, like he was trying to formulate his thoughts himself.
“Damn, I should be transparent more often.”
Dorothea almost wanted to smack him, but she decided to let it go. She took a step back, both physically and emotionally. He was showing vulnerability, even if it was only a bit at a time. That was all she wanted. She wanted to be his rock, she wanted to protect him. She thought she had a ways to go before she got there, but at least they were taking their first few steps. Where she could be a more reliable girlfriend for him.
“I hope you know that… it’s not your fault. Not just me getting hurt. Me being the way I am. That’s not your fault.” He said as if he was reading her mind. “Look, being honest… it’s hard. I don’t think there’s anyone who I’m completely authentic with. Not my childhood friends, not my family… no one.”
“Sylvain… you can always be yourself with me.”
“I know that.” He replied. “You make me want to, so badly. It’s completely a me problem. Nothing to do with you. You’ve been perfect if anything. Amazing, and I’m so glad that I’m your boyfriend. That may be part of why I feel you need to live, more than me. The way you make me feel is like no one else, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.”
“Aren’t you a charmer?” Dorothea teased as blood rushed to her face.
She hadn’t realized just how highly he thought of her. Perhaps she was projecting her own insecurities onto him. She wished he could be this candid all the time, but she understood that was asking a lot out of him. She couldn’t help but wonder why that was so difficult for him. He probably had some bad experiences in his past, just like she did.
She figured he’d talk about them when he was ready. It’s not like she’s told him every minutia of her past. There were things she’d prefer to keep to herself, at least for now, and Sylvain was the same. She just hoped they’d both reach the point sooner rather than later, where they felt that they could tell each other everything. It wasn’t like they’d been dating for too long. Almost a year, and they hadn’t known each other that long before that.
“You didn’t know that by now?” He teased right back.
Dorothea giggled. “Fair enough. In all seriousness, I do love learning new things about you Sylvain.”
Sylvain smirked. “There will be plenty of time for that my darling.” He stood up, attempting to look triumphant, but winced.
Dorothea giggled as she grabbed him and gently had him sit back down. “Don’t push yourself too hard my hero. You still need your rest.”
“Fine fine.” He said relenting. “Should be pretty easy, when I have a beautiful lady like you watching over me.”
Dorothea wanted to dismiss his flirting as flattery, but she knew that he meant what he said. Sylvain was a complicated man. He could take his mask off and put it right back on like nothing happened. He could even crack his mask, showing his true colors without taking it off. It was impressive in a way. He’d make a great actor in his own right.
She may as well have her fair share of fun too. It’d get boring if Sylvain was the only one doing his usual routine. She walked closer to him and leaned into his face. She then grabbed it gently with her fingers, as she rubbed her thumb on his chin.
“Why don’t you make it easy for me too hm?” She asked. “Be a good little boy, and follow my instructions.”
Sylvain stared at her, the surprise evident on his face. She practically had him eating out of the palm of her hand. She stood by the idea that he was complicated, but in other ways, he was simple too. She wasn’t even trying that hard, which honestly made it all the more endearing. Or rather, maybe it wasn’t that he was simple. It may have been more so that he just loved her that much. That she could do anything, and he’d fall for her all over again.
“You don’t have to tell me twice.”
Dorothea burst into laughter, as Sylvain did the same. Having someone who’d protect her, who’d laugh and joke with her, someone who could make her genuinely smile? As a young orphan living on the streets, she never thought she’d live to see the day. Someone who thought she was beautiful, not just on the outside, but the inside as well.
Someone who loved her for her. Not for what she could provide for them. When she first met Sylvain, she never thought he’d be her knight in shining armor. The man who’d one day mean everything to her. She thought they’d be coworkers who tolerated each other, nothing more.
Life had a funny way of taking people to places they would never expect. On adventures that someone would never think possible. Giving them things that they never knew they wanted, from people they never knew would become an irreplaceable part of their lives. She hadn’t known the man a year ago after all. Now, she could not, and did not, want to imagine a world without him. One where she’d have to go through this journey without her other half.
Dorothea wiped a tear from her eye, though she wasn’t sure if it was from all the laughter, or from joy. She wished she could go back in time and tell herself, everything was going to turn out fine. She wouldn’t be a starving child forever. She’d be loved the world over. From adoring fans, to close friends and family. It wouldn’t be perfect, but she found it. It was hers. Her happy ending. And the two of them still had plenty of life to go. Plenty of happy days ahead of them. She could not wait to see what life had in store next.