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"I'm too late." Lena muttered under her breath as she picked at the food on her plate.
Kara and Lena were having lunch at Noonan's and catching up in the process. It had been a busy week for the two so they didn't have time to see each other as much as they normally did.
Kara was telling Lena about her week when she mentioned that William had asked her out the day before. When Kara mentioned that she said yes, Lena's heart dropped.
This news upset her. She wasn't upset at Kara for saying yes and she wasn't upset at William for asking her out. She was upset at herself for not telling her how she felt about her sooner. She knew that sooner or later someone would ask Kara out and she would miss her chance completely. There was a small part of her that had hoped that she wouldn't say yes if it had happened though. She felt like she lost her chance completely because that night Kara is going on a date with someone else and there was nothing that she could do about it. She was heartbroken but there was nothing that she could do about it.
Lena couldn't help but wonder why Kara would choose him. Lena knows that Kara could probably date anyone that she wants to. She is literally Supergirl. She is also really attractive, kind, considerate, strong, and really, really hot.
But out of every one she chose him. That stuck up prick who seemed to have a stick up his ass half of the time.
Lena tried to look at it from Kara's perspective. He's a reporter, just like her and that might draw her to him in some way, but no matter how hard she tried to look at him differently, seeing William still made Lena throw up in her mouth a little.
Even though Lena might be a little jealous that Kara chose William out of literally anyone, she can't be mad at him. At least he actually made a move.
For months now Lena had been trying to ask Kara out but her plans backfired every time. It was either someone walking in the room as she was about to say something or an unexpected phone call. Everything she tried had never worked. One time she did actually manage to get the words out and asked her out, but Kara misunderstood the invitation. She thought Lena was just asking her to hang out as friends and by the time Lena realized that Kara didn't know that it was a date, it was too late to say anything.
Kara is generally smart but she can be a little dense when it comes to romantic advances made on her if they aren't extremely straightforward and direct.
Eventually she just stopped trying and hoped her feelings for Kara would go away on their own, but they never did.
As much as Lena dislikes William she still can't hate him. Even if he is excruciatingly boring and barely has any personality whatsoever, she will still try to be happy for Kara. She might be dating someone now but Lena wasn't going to let her know that that upset her.
If Kara was happy, then Lena was happy. She had to be, even if it broke her heart.
"Lena?" Lena's head snapped up from her plate as Kara's voice tore her away from her thoughts.
Shit, how long have I been staring at my plate? Lena thought to herself before she fixed her posture and cleared her throat, "Oh uh nothing, it's nothing." She said very unconvincingly.
Kara tried to look into Lena's eyes but she kept avoiding eye contact, "It doesn't seem like that." Her voice was full of concern, "You've been acting kinda weird today. Is something wrong? Is there anything I can do to help? Was it something I did?"
Lena couldn't help but smile at that. She didn't like to see Kara concerned but she was adorable when she was. She liked feeling like someone actually cared about her, a feeling she never really had while growing up, "I promise Kara you did nothing, it's nothing." She puts the best reassuring smile on her face that she could manage in the moment and reached for Kara's hand, "I promise." She gave her hand a light squeeze and felt her heart flutter in her chest.
Suddenly Lena's phone started to ring and she let out an annoyed groan and let go of Kara's hand to answer. After a few seconds into the phone call she let out a sigh and thanked the person on the phone and hung up, "I'm sorry Kara that was Jess. I totally forgot that I had a meeting today."
"It's ok, I should probably get going anyways. Andrea has been bothering me all week about this article that I have to write and Nia is working on an article that she has been having some trouble with so I offered to help. I also need to ask J'onn and Nia if they could take care of any Supergirl level threats while I am on my date with William." She says as she stands up, getting ready to leave.
Lena winced slightly at the sound of his name, "I still don't understand what you see in him." Lena let out a small chuckle to cover up that fact that thinking about Kara and William on a date makes her want to gouge both of her eyes out.
Kara laughed slightly, "Hey, you don't hear me judging you on your dating choices."
Lena thinks about the brief period of time that she dated James and her face mimics one of disgust.
"And William's a nice guy." Kara adds on to her previous sentence, "It's nice that he is a reporter too. It means that we at least have something to talk about."
Lena lets out a small laugh, "I will admit that my dating choices haven't been exactly stellar in the past, but you do know that you technically dated James too, so you have no room to talk on that matter."
Kara laughed at that, giving Lena a small nod in agreement.
"And at least James's only personality trait isn't nice. You do know that 'nice' is most murderer's main personality trait right?" Lena says with a teasing chuckle, but the thought of that being a possibility may have crossed her mind once or twice. At least, that would give her more of a reason to not like him.
"William is not a murderer." Kara says while laughing.
"And how would you know? You haven't known him for very long." Lena says, still with a laugh but slightly more serious.
"Oh, so are you saying that he only asked me out so he could murder me?" Kara said with an amused tone.
"I never said that." Lena says slightly defensively but with a chuckle, "Maybe his targets are beautiful women. He takes them out on a few dates then boom, you're dead."
Lena pauses after that and slightly tenses, realizing that she just out wordly called Kara beautiful, but she didn't seem to notice. She realizes how long it has been since Jess has called and tells Kara that she should probably get going now.
She stands up and gets ready to pick up the check. Lena didn't want to leave though. If she left without saying anything her last chance would be gone. With a sudden surge of confidence she knew what she had to do. She had to tell Kara how she felt now or else she would never have this chance again. "Hey Kara?"
"Yeah?" she says with a smile.
"There is something I need to tell you." Lena says as she starts to fidget with her hands.
Kara nods for her to continue.
"Kara I-" once again she was cut off by the ringing of her cell phone, "Oh, it's Jess. I really need to go."
"It's ok, maybe you could come over after work and help me get ready for my date? I would have Alex help me but she has a date with Kelly tonight."
Lena felt like she was shot in the chest with an arrow. If she said no, Kara would suspect something was up and grill her with questions until she got her answers. But if she said yes she had to help her ready for a date with a man that she strongly disliked, "Sure, that sounds fun." She lied straight through her teeth.
"Ok! I'll see you tonight at my apartment. I'll call you when I get home." Kara gave Lena a quick hug. After she pulled away she made her way toward the exit.
"Bye Kara. See you tonight." Lena sighed after Kara walked away, "Well that was a fucking mistake." She mumbled to herself as she pulled her phone out to call her driver.
~~
Lena stood outside of Kara's apartment. She had been trying to think of any excuse to skip this but everything that she came up with would for sure make Kara suspicious in some way.
"Hey Lena!" A random voice said and she heard approaching footsteps.
She turns around, her eyes laying on the kind brunette girl, "Nia? I didn't know that you were going to be here."
"Oh, Kara didn't tell you?" She says with her head tilted slightly.
Lena shook her head.
"She told me about her date tonight and I offered to help her get ready. She mentioned that you were going to be here but, let's be honest, she needs all the help she can get." Nia says with a chuckle but quickly stops talking for a moment before her eyes go wide, "Wait! It's not like I don't think that you can help her on your own, because you can! I'm just saying that uh well she-" Nia cuts herself off as she sees Lena stifling an amused chuckle.
"It's ok Nia, I know what you meant. Besides we don't hang out as much as I would like to, so this could be nice." Lena finished off her sentence with a smile. It will also be a nice distraction from the fact that Kara is going on a date with some guy in less than three hours, Lena thought to herself.
Nia smiles and nods as she walks over to Kara's door to knock.
"Wait Nia, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, what's up?" she says, sounding confused as she turns around to face Lena.
Lena breathes in, trying to gain some composure, "It's kind of an unorthodox question, but I have to ask someone and if I am being honest I would prefer to ask you than anyone else." Lena finished her sentence, with a shaky exhale.
Nia just stares at Lena with a perplexed look on her face.
Lena takes a deep breath in, "I like someone but they are seeing someone else and I have been trying to make my move for quite some time and now think it is to late and I am afraid that if I don't tell them as soon as possible I will never have a chance with them again." Lena manages to say, all in one breath.
Nia just stares at Lena, trying to comprehend everything she just said, "Wait you like someone, like, a crush?"
"Well I wouldn't exactly call it a crush, that feels too juvenile." Lena says, running a hand through her hair.
"So love?" Nia asks slightly stepping away from Kara's door.
Lena thinks for a long moment. Is it love? She goes through every interaction, and every thought she has had about Kara since the beginning of their friendship.
Ever since she first laid eyes on her something felt different, like there was a certain spark there that she had never felt before. With Kara, Lena felt like she could truly be herself. Every time she was even near Kara it was like a breath of fresh air. Connecting with people, especially romantically, was never Lena's strong suit. She has always had a hard time opening up to people, but with Kara everything was so much easier.
Within the first few weeks of their friendship Lena had opened up about her family to Kar. That was always extremely difficult for her to do with anyone, even people she has known for many years. Most of the people in Lena's life know virtually nothing about Lena's upbringing, but Kara knows everything. Also knowing that Kara trusts Lena enough to tell her that she is Supergirl within the first two months of their friendship made Lena feel a lot better about opening up about her childhood when she basically just met her.
She also thinks that Kara is extremely beautiful. Every time Lena even catches a glimpse of Kara's face, she instantly smiles. Seeing her automatically makes her day ten times better. She would do virtually anything for Kara. She can't say this about just anyone, but she would spend all of the money in the world just to see Kara smile. So yeah, if that feeling is love, she's definitely feeling it.
Nia's question still caught Lena off guard though. How was she supposed to respond? If she gave her honest answer she would give away who it is immediately, but she doesn't want to lie to her.
"Honesty I don't know. I have felt something towards this person since we first met, but I don't know if I can call it love." She pauses and takes a deep breath, "I don't really have anything I can compare this feeling too, given the fact that none of my past relationships were exactly stellar."
Nia nods in understanding, letting Lena know that she is still listening.
Lena inhales deeply before she continues, "Also what if they don't reciprocate my feelings and don't want to be friends anymore? That would be years of friendship wasted."
"Well if you truly have strong feelings for this person, wouldn't a risk be worth it?" Nia says, tilting her head slightly, "I mean, you don't want to waste all of your time in the future thinking 'what if' right?"
Lena nods, understanding the point she is trying to get across.
"My suggestion is saying something now, before it is too late and you regret it." Nia says as she puts a supportive hand on Lena's arm.
Lena smiles at the contact and puts her hand over Nia's, "Thank you Nia, I really needed to hear that." Lena says, feeling slightly better.
Nia nods with a smile as they both retract their hands, "Anytime, but now I think we should probably go inside now." Nia says as she gestures towards Kara's door.
Lena nods and walks over to Kara's door and knocks.
Kara opens the door and immediately smiles and welcomes them in.
As soon as they walk in, Lena notices that Kara's apartment looks like a storm tore through it, "Redecorating I see." She teases as she gestures to all of the clothes around the apartment.
"Oh that?" Kara says with an awkward laugh, "That uh is just-" she clears her throat "my options."
"Your entire closet?" Nia says, while trying to hold in her laughter.
"This is not my entire closet" Kara says defensively, "Only my date appropriate stuff."
"So let me guess, the only thing left is maybe like three shirts, a few sweatshirts, and some sweatpants right?" Lena asks, amused by the situation.
They all laugh as Kara tries to argue and goes to her closet to check and realizes that Lena was basically spot on with her assumptions.
About two hours go by as they are talking and laughing. Kara decided on a black shirt with a navy blue cardigan, khakis, and black slip on shoes.
Lena couldn't help but admire Kara as she was smiling at herself in the mirror, saying that her outfit was perfect.
~~
Kara had left for her date about 5 minutes ago.
Lena had officially lost her chance.
Kara had asked her and Nia to make sure that her apartment was in decent condition before they left.
While they were making sure that all of Kara's clothes were off of the floor or any other surface, and that all of the food was put away, Nia noticed that there was something off about Lena after Kara left. She wasn't saying anything and her happy persona that she put on before Kara had left disappeared. There was also this shimmer in her eye and it looked like she could start crying at any moment.
At that moment Nia realized what was wrong. The person that Lena was talking about before they walked into Kara's apartment was Kara. A rush of realization crashed over her as she looked up to see Lena nowhere in sight.
~~
Lena felt utterly defeated. During the time that she was at Kara's, she was trying to get a moment alone with her but never succeeded. Every time she had a chance to tell her, Nia was always there. She's not complaining about Nia's presence She did enjoy having her there, but having her there meant that she never got alone time with Kara. The one time that she did get a moment alone with Kara was when Nia was in the bathroom. Lena was trying to get Kara's attention but she wasn't listening. She continued to talk about William, and how excited and nervous she was.
Every word out of Kara's mouth felt like she was being stabbed in the chest. William this, William that. It hurt her more than words can describe.
As Lena was walking towards the building's exit, she was barely holding back her tears. As she lifted her hand up to open the door to the apartment building, she heard a familiar voice.
"Lena, Wait up!" Nia shouted as she was practically sprinting towards Lena.
Lena didn't want to stop walking. She knew that if she tried to talk to anyone right now she would start crying, but she knew that she shouldn't just walk away so she stopped and rested her hand on the doorknob.
When Nia finally caught up to Lena, she was extremely out of breath and rested her hands on her knees, "Lena... there is... something... need to... tell you..." she said, breathing very heavily.
After a few moments Lena turned around from facing the door to face Nia who was now breathing more steadily.
Nia stands up straight now, taking her hands off of her knees and looks up at Lena, "It's Kara isn't it?"
Lena automatically freezes, all of the air seemingly leaving her body, as her face goes red. She is not sure if she knows what Nia is talking about, but she wasn't going to risk accidentally telling her if that's not what she meant, "What do you mean?" she said, trying to keep her cool and failing miserably, sounding extremely panicked instead.
"The person you were talking about before we went into Kara's apartment. The one that you have feelings for." Nia says matter of factly, already knowing she's correct based off of her reaction alone.
Lena just stood there. She wanted to run away and not say anything about Nia's assumptions, even if they are true. A small part of her was relieved someone else knew of her feelings, but the much larger part of her was terrified.
No one knows that Lena is bisexual, not even Kara. Lena liking girls was something she never talked about. One part of her never thought it was important enough to bring it up, but the other part knew it was because she is scared.
When she was younger she came out to Lillian, but it backfired. She was told that she couldn't like girls because that would tarnish the Luthor name. For the longest time she believed it, even long after the Luthor name was tarnished.
More recently she finally came to terms with her sexuality and feelings for Kara, even if subconsciously, she knew she felt something more for her than just friendship for years.
Lena couldn't give a verbal response, all she could do was nod.
Nia smiles and shakes her head "Ok, so I know that I shouldn't tell you this but," Nia pauses and contemplates what to say next. "The only reason Kara agreed to go on this date is because she thought she would never have a chance with you."
Lena took a few moments to process what Nia just said but then her eyes go wide in realization, "Wait, what?" Lena practically yelled in shock and slight excitement, "Kara likes girls??" she says trying to sound calm but failing miserably.
"Yeah and according to what she has told me she has liked for awhile now," Nia pauses, "Wait, you couldn't tell?"
"How was I supposed to tell?" Lena basically shouts.
"I thought everyone knew, she hasn't been very subtle about it." Nia says, trying to hold back her laughter.
"Wait, how long have you known?" she says, sounding panicked.
"She told me yesterday after William asked her out but I could've guessed for a few months now."
"She likes me. Kara likes me." Lena says with a small smile, almost whispering, "Wait, Kara likes me." she says again while raising her voice and her eyes go wide.
"Yeah you said that." Nia says while laughing.
"No Nia, she likes me and shes on a date!" With that, Lena turns around and hurries out the door.
"Wait! Where are you going?" Nia says, yelling after her.
"I have to tell her Nia! Like you said, I need to say something before I lose my chance and regret it." Lena says as she's walking towards the curb and pulling her phone out to call her driver.
~~
Lena is walking toward the entrance of the bar. While she was in the car she realized that she didn't even have a plan. What was she supposed to do, just walk in there and basically declare her love for Kara in front of everyone, including William? Yeah she couldn't do that.
As Lena continued walking towards the entrance, she was trying to come up with an idea of what to do.
What if Nia was wrong? What if Kara didn't actually like her? What if she just heard her wrong, or she was lying just to get Lena to embarrass herself?
Lena shook all of those thoughts out of her head. Nia would never lie to her about that, that doesn't sound like something she would do.
Lena walks into the bar and looks around for Kara. After a few moments she realizes Kara must not have arrived yet.
Kara did mention that she had to stop at CatCo to drop off a few papers before the date, giving Lena just enough time to get to there before she did.
Lena tried to keep a level head as she walked over to the bar to order a drink. She figured she might as well since she is here, and it might help her with her confidence. Her nerves are buzzing in her stomach like she swallowed a beehive as she orders from the bartender. As soon as her drink is ready she picks it up and downs it.
"Bad day?" the bartender asks with a sincere look on their face. Lena looks at them more directly now. They have light brown eyes that almost radiate kindness and short black hair that almost looks dark blue in the bar lighting.
They seem to be genuine, and Lena's mind is too foggy to even stop and think about what their intentions may be like she normally would.
Lena smiles slightly, feeling the alcohol slide down her throat, leaving a burning sensation behind, "No not exactly, just about to do something I might regret."
The bartender drapes the towel that they have over their shoulder and lean against the bar, "Is this about a guy?"
Lena chuckles slightly, "No, not a guy."
"A girl?" the bartender asks while tilting their head slightly.
Lena nods her head before ordering another drink. Once that drink is ready, she downs it just like the first one. She decides she should at least try to stay mostly sober, so she pays for her drinks.
The bartender takes her money and puts it in the drawer. They give her a kind smile as they look back up at her, "Well good luck, I hope you don't have to regret it."
Lena lets out a small huff of amusment and nods, "I hope not either."
The bartender smiles again and walks off to continue making drinks.
Lena sighs and sits with her thoughts while she waits. The alcohol has definitely kicked in, but it's still not enough to calm her practically screaming nerves. A part of her wants to leave, but the other part knows she could never live with herself if she does.
She doesn't even have a game plan. She always has a plan before she does practically anything. What is she supposed to say anyway? She can't just march up to her right when she walks in and announce her feelings to the whole bar. She sighs and racks her brain for any sort of plan.
Unfortunately for Lena, the beautiful blonde walks into the bar before she can think of anything. She watches as Kara scans the bar for William, but their eyes lock instead. Lena feels her nerves spike as she walks towards her.
"Lena..? What are you doing here?" She looks perplexed almost, but not upset in the slightest. It's almost like she looks relieved, but Lena can't quite figure out why.
Lena takes a deep breath in, deciding she is just going to have to wing it, "Kara, I-"
"Kara! There you are!" William says with his chipper british accent. He has a wide smile on his face that falters slightly as his eyes land on Lena, "Ms. Luthor? I wasn't expecting you to be here." He says, clearly confused and a bit more nervous from when he walked in.
Kara turns to William and smiles, "Hey William! How about you go over to the pool table and I'll meet you there in a moment. Is that ok?" She asks, clearly more nervous than before she left for her date.
William still looks mildly confused, but he has a feeling he knows what this is about. He gives them both a small, but polite smile as he walks away.
Kara sighs and turns her attention back to Lena, "I'm sorry about that Lena, what were you saying?"
Lena ponders for a moment, trying to think of any believable excuse that she can up up with but she blanks.
Lena realizes that she is basically staring at Kara and clears her throat, smiling nervously, "I decided that I wanted a drink, so I came here." She plastered a smile on her face to make her half assed excuse seem convincing.
"Ok so, you're lying." The blonde says matter of factly, knowing Lena well enough to know when she's hiding something.
Lena tilts her head as if she was confused, trying to hide the worried look on her face, "What makes you think I'm lying?"
"I know for a fact that you have better alcohol at your place than at most bars in National City, so tell me, why are you here?" Kara questions her and places her hands on her hips.
It is clear to Lena that she is not getting out of this situation until she tells the truth. She decides that it would just be better to rip the bandage off rather than drag this out, "Nia told me what you told her." She practically blurts out, not knowing any other way to say it.
Kara freezes and her smile falls, her facial expression turning into one of fear and anxiety, "What uh, what exactly did she tell you?" She says, looking extremely nervous and slightly red with blush.
"That you have feelings for me." Lena takes an extremely shaky breath in, "I came here to tell you that I feel the same." She feels her heartbeat in her ears as she tries to look at her. She's still incredibly nervous, but there is no turning back now.
Kara smiles and gives her a teasing look, "You came here to tell me that you have feelings for you? Or that you have feelings for me? That part was unclear." She chuckles and shakes her head at her own attempt at a joke.
Lena starts chuckle along with Kara, "Kara-" She looks up to see that the kryptonians face was much closer than she realized, "Can I-"
Lena gets cut off when Kara's lips land on hers. She was shocked by the sudden contact but almost instantly fell into the kiss.
Kara placed a hand on Lena's cheek and one on her back, pulling her closer.
As Lena did the same, it felt like the room was spinning. All of her surroundings seemingly disappeared as Kara deepened the kiss.
Kara was the first one to break away and as soon as she did, a large smile broke on her face, "I was hoping you would say that."
Lena couldn't help but let out a quiet laugh as she leaned in for another kiss.
Once she leaned in however, she was cut off by a quiet cough. They both look to see William. He doesn't look as upset as Kara or Lena anticipated. He just has a small smile and a knowing look on his face.
Kara almost immediately lets go of Lena. She completely forgot why she was here in the first place, having lost herself in the feeling of Lena's soft lips, "Oh Rao," she quietly curses, "William I am so sorr-"
William raises his hand slightly to cut Kara off, "It's ok Kara. If I'm being honest I had a feeling that this was the reason that Lena showed up, but I had to be sure before I left. I'm going to head out now, but you two have fun." He says with a smile and a small wave as he walks out of the door.
As soon as the door closed behind him, Kara looked back to Lena and grabbed her hand, "Well that was uh.. unexpected." She said with amusement in her voice and a slight blush in her cheeks.
"Yeah, it sure was." Lena says with a large grin on her face as Kara leads them both over to the pool table.
They end up staying at the bar for a few more hours before deciding to leave.
Kara told Lena that she was going to run to the bathroom then they could leave. She gave Lena a peck on the lips and walked towards the restrooms.
Lena made her way over to the bar as she noticed the bartender that she was talking to earlier was looking at her.
When Lena reached the bar the bartender smiled, "So, I'd say you don't have to regret your decision?" They said with a smile on their face.
A smile breaks onto Lena's face as she recalls the night's events in her head, "No, I don't think I do."
"Well I'm glad everything worked out for you." They say as they wipe down the counter with their cloth.
"Yeah, me too." She says with a polite nod as Kara walks up to her.
"Ready to go?" she asks as she walks up and stands next to Lena. She reaches her hand out and intertwines their fingers.
Lena loves they way their hands fit together. It feels as if this is where she belongs, hand in hand with the gorgeous woman she finally has to herself.
Lena nods to Kara and waves goodbye to the bartender as they walk out of the bar. Their hands are still intertwined, and there is no where either of them would rather be.